


Lockwood Part 2

by Jadders92



Series: Lockwood [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animagus, Bulgaria - Freeform, Dark Magic, F/M, Family, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, France - Freeform, Gen, Godric's Hollow, Hogsmeade, Hogwarts, Japan, Prophecy, Quidditch, Smut, St Mungo's Hospital, Thestrals, Werewolves, Wolfsbane, wild pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-15 00:27:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 121,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7197884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadders92/pseuds/Jadders92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The second, slightly more explicit part of the Lockwood series. Comments welcome, the more the merrier. </p><p>(EDIT: for those who have read the whole series, chapter 4 seemed to get lost, it's now been added. Enjoy!)</p><p>If you would like to contact me, the way to do so is through this email: jadders92@hotmail.com</p><p>Part 3 is up!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Angelina's Letters

Lupin,

You were right as usual, I had a great time in the Forest of Dean, I had another courageous battle with the Red Caps, but this time I was glad I had back up. The Anglerfish were beautiful at night, the lights just beneath the surface were mesmerising. I’m pretty sure there were some Hinkypunks a little way from where we’d set up our tent, but we never saw them. David wants to study Thestrals and I think he’s going to write about them for his Magical Creatures essay this year, I still don’t know what I want to write about. 

You’ll be glad to hear that David fancies a girl in Ravenclaw, Cassandra, I’m not sure which one she is, but he says she’s beautiful, I told him he should just ask her out, the worst she’ll say is no, but then I’m not the best judge of these things.

I’ve decided once this year is over, I’m going to Bulgaria to study the werewolf packs there. I know there’s one that is entirely wild and I heard they don’t even need the full moon to transform, I’d like to go and see them and find out what makes them like that. I’ve also decided that I’d write a book about my travels, I’ve been keeping notes of the things I’ve seen in the forest to get the practice in, but David thinks I should write about Lockwood’s Wolfsbane first. I wanted to ask your opinion on the matter.

I hope you’ve had a good summer and I hope you came to my speech, it was a good one and I’ve heard the news that it’s had a small impact on the ministry, the voting leaned more towards a yes and I’ve been asked to attend a meeting to discuss the merits of changing the classification of werewolves. I think it’ll be boring, but if I want this to happen, I have to go. Again I wanted to ask your opinion and if you’d help me in preparing for it.

I hope you’re okay, it’s been a while since I’ve heard from you.

Angelina

 

Lupin,

I had the meeting and the discussion went pretty much as expected, Umbridge was unbearable and could not keep her mouth shut when I was talking. Even the minister was getting annoyed and eventually told her to shut up. Everyone was pretty surprised at the outburst, but it did the trick and I presented my argument as clearly as I could.

I brought up the state of poverty and the unfair dismissal of werewolves from jobs and Clara had given herself as an example of what Lockwood’s Wolfsbane was capable of. I think the minister had forgotten she was a werewolf, he was a little taken back by the whole thing and the council seemed to be the same. I’m still waiting to hear the results of the meeting, but I’m hoping the voting will swing in favour, even if it’s just by a small amount, it’ll be something.

Dad said that there was a small wave of werewolf cases that came to St Mungo’s the other week, just after the full moon. He seems to think it was a planned attack, says that it's the only thing that makes sense. Things were getting better and now for fifteen people it just got worse. I promised I’d write and see if you’d be willing to go to the hospital and see them, you know, help them realise it’s not the end of the world. 

Jack is definitely set on becoming a Healer, he’s been asking my dad to teach him all sorts of healing spells, I’ve been learning some as well, just in case I have another incident in the Black Lake or the Forbidden Forest. 

Jack and I have decided that maybe we’re better as good friends, I don’t think the whole relationship thing was working out very well, we just did the same things we did before and nothing more. David wrote to Cassie during the summer and it looks like they’re going on a date at some point, I hope he has a good time. He seems to really like her.

Well, I think that’s it for this week.

Hope you’re well and I’ll see you soon for the start of term.

Angelina

 

Lupin,

So, I’m coming back to school in a few days and I still haven’t heard from you. I hope you’re okay, I know you said last summer that you’d been keeping an eye on some dangerous wizards, so if that’s what you’re up to again then I hope you’re staying safe and I guess you’ll find a pile of letters from me when you get back.

The vote was a no in the end, but everyone seems to think I’m getting closer to a yes vote. Even Clara said it took a long time for them to cast the vote, which means there was room for doubt. Dumbledore has given me permission to leave during term time if I need to attend another meeting to hopefully get the yes vote I need to get werewolves into the Half-breed category. It's a good thing, but I am worried that I’ll miss out on classes and fall behind. Jack and Jocelyne think I’m being ridiculous though.

Everyone’s excited to be getting apparating lessons this year and I’m excited to actually be taught how to use wandless magic properly. I understand that my power was settling and I hope it has done by now, but I guess you’ll be the judge of that.  
Anyway, I don’t really have any other news. I bought a new broom for Quidditch this year and saved the rest money I won from the Tournament. I’m not really sure what to do with it to be honest. Any ideas?

I hope you’re staying safe.

Angelina

 

Lupin dipped his quill in the ink pot and went to write out a reply, but once again, he failed. No words came to him, nothing he could write would be what he wanted to say, he sighed and leaned back in his chair, giving up the task entirely.

He looked at all the letters she had sent him over the summer and wondered why exactly he hadn’t replied to any of them. She had told him the one thing he never thought she would say, that he was the one in the maze, the one she saw and he couldn’t stop thinking on Fleur’s words. ‘If he’s not your lover, you want him to be, you're desperate for it.’ 

He wondered if it was him she saw even then. The problem Lupin had was that by Angelina’s own admission she didn’t know how she felt, Lupin wasn’t even quite sure how he felt, it was more a protectiveness that he’d never felt before, a desire to see her safe and happy. It was clear to him that she had a much older head on her since leaving the maze, and yet she still didn’t realise what she felt. Lupin watched the sun go down from his office window and wondered what the year would bring for him.

 

Remus,

You absolute idiot! How can you do this to her? She has been worried sick about you, she has been asking me if I’d heard anything about you going away for the summer and doing whatever it was you were doing last year.

You get your quill and parchment out right now and write an apology to Angie right now! You tell her the truth, that you’ve been a complete moron for not writing back and tell her what you thought of her speech, because I know I saw you arrive just as she began, you can deny it all you want.

Write to her this second and send it as soon as you are done with the fastest owl you can find, that woman deserves an explanation and yes, she is a woman, a very beautiful woman who is trying to make your life and my life a hundred times easier because she cares; so why don’t you just man up and admit how in love with her you really are and get over yourself.

Don’t make me come to that castle, you know I will if I find out you haven’t written.

Clara 

 

Lupin just stared, wide eyed, at the spot on his desk where the howler had torn itself up into tiny pieces and immediately picked up a quill and some parchment. Clara knew how to make life very difficult for him, she was wonderful, but so terrifying when she needed to be and he was terrified.

He just sat for a few moments and thought about what he wanted to say. Clara was right, she was a woman now and she was old enough to make these decisions on her own, but he still didn’t know what to do, surely she couldn’t feel the same way about him, he was a werewolf and without real prospects of being able to live a normal life, she deserved better.

He sighed and began writing what was a very awkward letter.

 

Angelina,

Sorry I haven’t written, I’ve been an idiot to leave it as long as I have. I’m glad to hear you’ve had a good summer. I look forward to the stories.

I’d be very happy to advise you on writing a book, David is right though, maybe start with the potion. I don’t know much about the werewolves in Bulgaria and I’m sorry I didn’t visit the hospital to see the ones you mentioned had been attacked. I’m sure you did a better job than I could though.

I’ll see you in a few days when term starts.

Remus.

 

Lupin just looked at the letter, it was short and offered no real explanation as to why he had been absent during the summer, but at least she will have heard from him. 

As promised, he delivered the letter to the fastest owl he could find and sent it straight away. He didn’t really want Clara to come to the castle in a bad mood, no one would survive the shouting let alone anything else.


	2. The Last Time We'll Be Here

The start of term feast had begun and it was suddenly very obvious that this would be the last start of term we would have. We weren’t coming back next year and we felt a sudden sadness wash over the entirety of the seventh years across all houses, this was it.

I looked around my friends and remembered the first day we had all sat together at the Gryffindor table, we all had the same smiles and laughed with each other at the same things, but we were older, much older and we were all a little wiser for it. I wondered if Darren had felt like this just before he left school for good, he was right about one thing, I’d miss this place, there was no where like it.

Soon the sorting ceremony was over and I took a moment to look up to the now further away teachers table, Lupin wasn’t looking at anyone in particular and I hated it. I’d written to him every week of the summer to keep him up to date on what I was doing and all I’d gotten in return was a small note apologising rather weakly and saying he’d see me at school. I sighed, but didn’t really think anymore on it.

I wanted to enjoy this year and nothing would stop me from doing that. I had a lot to look forward to, Quidditch being one of them, we would be looking for a new Beater and Keeper this year as there was no Quidditch the year before due to the Tournament and two of the players left school, including the captain.

We would learn apparition and take the exam for it and we would sit our NEWTs, which would decide if we could go down our preferred career paths, though mine seemed to still be under question.

‘Why can’t you just be a werewolf expert?’ Benji asked at breakfast a few weeks later, we were just about to leave for our first classes.

‘I don’t think that’s a real job and I’m pretty sure if it was it wouldn’t pay very well.’ I laughed.

‘You could be a Quidditch player like Darren?’ Jocelyne suggested.

‘Not good enough and I haven’t really put the work into it.’ I shook my head.

‘Well what do you want to do?’ Jack asked just as we were all about to go off towards whatever lessons we had.

‘I don’t know. I guess I could be an Auror?’ 

‘Is that what you want to do for the rest of your life?’ He asked.

‘Not really.’

‘Then that’s not the career for you.’ Jack said and everyone seemed to agree with him. ‘You're smart enough to do anything, so do anything you like.’

We said our goodbyes and headed towards our classes, I wouldn’t see Lupin that day and a part of me was grateful. I wasn’t really sure I wanted to see him just yet. 

I’d still kept up with Ancient Runes and it seemed I was part of only four people who did. I’d taken a nap during it and left the classroom yawning and not being able to shake the tiredness quite yet; I yawned again and walked straight into Lupin who was turning a corner.

‘Sorry.’ He said, stopping and holding my shoulders to make sure I was alright. ‘Sorry, I didn’t see you, are you okay?’

‘Yeah, fine. Just wasn’t expecting you to come around the corner like that.’ I gave a half smile and we looked at each other for a moment, unsure what to do. ‘I have to go.’ I said and Lupin eventually let my shoulders go and I walked around him to leave.

‘Angelina.’ He called after me and I slowly turned around.

‘Yes?’

Lupin took a step towards me, not really wanting to talk about anything the other students might over hear. ‘Look, I’m sorry I didn’t write during the summer-‘

‘You were obviously busy, it’s fine.’ I shook my head, keeping my voice as quiet as his.

‘No that’s the point, I wasn’t busy. Not in the slightest.’ He admitted and I frowned at him. ‘Will you allow me to explain? Come up to my office after dinner and let’s talk about everything.’

I sighed and nodded, not especially happy that he had intentionally been ignoring my letters, but if he had a valid reason, then maybe I should have let him explain himself. I turned and left to head to the common room to get some work done before dinner. Truth be told, I knew all the curriculum as I’d read through all the textbooks as I normally did before the school year, but this year was an important one.

‘So what do you think he wants to talk about?’ David asked as we followed everyone down for dinner.

‘I was going to ask you the same question.’ I admitted. ‘I have no idea, but he was ignoring my letters.’

‘Maybe he’s worried because you’re still a student and he can’t do anything about the way he feels?’ David gave me a look. ‘It’s pretty hot though, younger woman and all that.’ David winked and I just rolled my eyes. ‘Okay, for guys that’s hot.’

I just shook my head laughing and we went down to dinner. Most of the talk was about the Quidditch try outs that would be held that weekend and I was nervous that I would have to advise the captain on who to pick. I didn’t want to look, but David had given me a look that confirmed Lupin was keeping his gaze firmly fixed on me throughout the night.

We laughed and ate and drank and finally we were all tired enough to head to bed, I had almost forgotten to head towards Lupin’s office, when David and directed me that way and I sighed.

‘Get it over and done with.’ David said quietly. ‘I’ll cover for you.’ He winked and I mouthed a thank you to him.

The corridor was just about empty and it was a little eerie, but I’d made it to the DADA classroom and began the walk up to his office door. I almost couldn’t bring myself to knock, but soon did very quietly, hoping either he had gone to bed or he simply hadn’t heard me.

‘Angelina.’ He said, with a smile on his face and invited me in. It was warm and cosy as usual and I suddenly felt at home. ‘Cup of tea?’

‘A strong one if that’s okay?’ I asked, Lupin frowned. ‘I’m pretty tired and I don’t want to fall asleep.’ I smiled weakly and he understood. He made us tea and sat down opposite me, just as he always did.

‘So, how have your first few weeks been?’ Lupin asked.

‘Good, Ancient Runes is killing me though.’ I said, sipping the strong tea.

‘Why are you still taking it?’ Lupin laughed.

‘Because, I’m not a quitter and because you never know when it comes in handy.’ Lupin gave me a look that said he didn’t really believe it. ‘Mostly the first one.’

Lupin gave a small chuckle. ‘Well, you might regret that when you find out what’s in store after Christmas.’

‘I’m already regretting it.’ I chuckled and sipped some more tea, leaning back in the chair. Lupin stayed silent for a moment.

‘So,’ Lupin cleared his throat. ‘Let's talk... Is there anywhere in particular you’d like to start?’

‘I don’t know… I have so many questions.’ I admitted.

‘Okay, well why don’t you ask them and I’ll try to answer.’ Lupin was fidgeting slightly and I could tell he was nervous about answering my questions.

‘Did you come and see my speech at the rights campaign?’

‘Yes.’

‘Why didn’t you say anything?’

Lupin stayed silent for a moment. ‘Because, I was still trying to figure things out.’

‘Why didn’t you reply to my letters?’ I could feel the annoyance bubbling in the back of my mind.

‘Because I didn’t know what to say.’ 

‘What made you write to me just before we came back?’

Lupin gave a small smile. ‘A howler from Clara, telling me I needed to explain myself and how I felt, otherwise she would come to the castle. It was a very real threat.’

I smiled a little. I knew as calming as Clara could be, she was a hundreds time more terrifying than anyone could imagine.

‘Can I ask you a question?’ Lupin leaned forward and I nodded. ‘This is a little difficult, I’m sure you can understand given my position as your Professor, I need to be careful how I approach this.’

‘I didn’t realise we were having this conversation in a professional setting.’ It was a small snap and we both knew it was because I was tired.

‘You said you saw me in the maze?’ Lupin asked and I suddenly feared where this line of questioning was going. ‘It’s just that I can’t help remembering something that Fleur had said,’ I racked my brain, trying to remember what Fleur had said in the maze, but it felt like a year ago that it had all happened. ‘It was just before she sent up red sparks, she was seeing her sister, Krum was seeing what I can only imagine was his mother again and you saw someone.’

‘Yeah, it was you. You were asking me to go with you down the path.’ I said, without really thinking and still trying to remember what Fleur had said. ‘I already told you that though. I’m sorry, but I don’t really remember what Fleur said, it was around a year ago as far as I’m concerned.’ 

Lupin sat back and thought. ‘Okay, this is where it gets a little… Dangerous.’ Lupin swallowed and leaned forward again. ‘You were all talking about what you were seeing and Fleur said that she thought the Mist was trying to split you all up, that she wanted to save her sister, Krum wanted to save his family and you wanted to go to someone, but do you remember the word she used?’

It suddenly hit me and I let out a breath. ‘Lover. She said lover and I was seeing you. She said that I wanted whoever I was seeing to be my lover.’

Lupin nodded. ‘You can understand why I had to ask the question and why I have to be careful here?’ I nodded. ‘So, do you have anything you’d like to say on the matter, before I say what I would like to say?’ I shook my head, remembering the moment much more vividly than before and remembering what David had said in the Forest. ‘Okay, well, this is what I would like to say…’ Lupin took a breath and ran his hands through his hair. ‘I have felt a particular affection for you that most would consider inappropriate and if acted upon could cost me my job, I want that part to be clear. I think you are truly extraordinary and I was… Jealous, when I found out that you and Jack and begun a relationship and I was happy to find that it ended. Angelina, please tell me you understand what I’m saying to you?’

‘I understand.’ I nodded. Lupin took a relieved breath. ‘No, no, actually I don’t. I don’t understand what it is.’

‘What, what is?’

‘I hear the words you’re saying, I hear that you have an affection for me, but is that not just friendship?’ I could feel myself, for the first time in my life, not knowing what it was I was supposed to say or do or even if I truly understood what it was he was saying. ‘I have an affection for Jack, I love him, he’s my best friend, but that didn’t work. We didn’t work, so there’s no reason to think that what… What this is, is any different, right?’

‘Angelina.’ Lupin said softly.

‘No, I… I don’t think I want to talk about this anymore.’ I said and looked away from Lupin. ‘I don’t understand what you’re saying… What about the ball? You said you liked my dress, you said I looked good, did you mean it?’

‘Yes.’ Lupin breathed. ‘I thought you were especially beautiful that night.’

‘See, that’s what Jack said, he said he thought I looked beautiful, so it really isn’t different is it? It’s not, it can’t be.’ I just kept shaking my head, holding back my tears and trying desperately to rationalise it in my head.

‘Angelina.’ Lupin sat on the edge of his chair. ‘I’m sorry I’ve upset you, but if you let me explain-‘

‘I don't need you to explain, I’m perfectly capable of working it out on my own. I can figure anything out if I want to.’ I snapped and took a breath to calm myself down.

‘Yes, you can.’ Lupin nodded and waited for me to speak again.

‘I need more time.’ I said, finally. ‘Is there anything else we need to talk about before I go?’

Lupin looked at me with a disappointed expression. ‘No, I think everything else should wait until you’re ready.’ He said and didn’t even try to stop me getting up and walking away from his office. I had a lot of things to think about and I wouldn’t have the help of my friends to do it, Lupin could lose his job if the wrong people overheard me talking about it. I’d gotten to the end of the classroom before something starting nagging away I ran back up to Lupin’s office and found him in much the same position as I’d left him in. 

‘How long?’ I panted and Lupin stood up frowning slightly. ‘How long have you… Had this affection for me?’

‘A while.’ He swallowed.

‘How long?’ I demanded.

Lupin sighed. ‘I probably worked out what it was when we were talking about who I was asking to the ball.’ There was a whisper of a smile at the memory of that conversation.

‘Right.’ I said and went to leave again.

‘Angelina.’ Lupin suddenly said, taking a step towards me. I stopped at the top of the stairs and waited for him to say something. ‘I… I just can’t say what I want to say.’

‘I know and I understand.’ I nodded.


	3. Just Three Firewhiskeys?

Quidditch try outs had gone well and we’d finally gotten a new Beater and Keeper, training had begun and I flew around going through the same motions I had done for the past six years. Intercepting and setting up plays, I was the only seventh year on the team and I was the only one leaving at the end of the year, everyone else had at least another year to go before they would think about leaving Hogwarts. 

Everyone else also didn’t have to contend with NEWTs, the apparition exam and a teacher who had an affection of some description for them. I still hadn’t worked it out and I’d been sitting in his classes, duelling and practising what I needed to for my exams, the difference was that he wouldn’t talk to me for as long or give me as many secret smiles or share any jokes. 

We began making progress in Quidditch and it looked like we could have been in for a good year. We began racking up the points quickly and winning games where we needed to and I was working hard on my game head. I kept myself distracted by working out in my spare time and swimming in the Black Lake again, exploring the places I normally wouldn’t have ventured towards.

I had surfaced from a particularly hard swim one afternoon just before Christmas and found a group of first years hanging around waiting for me. I had a small cut on my side, from where I had caught a rock on my way back up and it stung a little.

‘Are you Angie Lockwood?’ One of the boys asked.

‘Yeah?’ I panted. I just frowned and grabbed my towel to dry off. I had a quick look at my cut, it wasn’t that bad and it didn't looked infected, but it would have to be cleaned soon.

‘We heard you fought off the giant squid. Is it true?’ He asked.

‘Giant squid?’ I questioned and put my warm jeans on. ‘No, not really. I mean I’ve seen him, but he goes away during the winter months, it’s too cold for him here.’

‘It's too cold for most creatures in the Lake this time of year.’ Lupin’s voice came from behind where I was standing, he wandered over avoiding some of the rockier areas. I just sat putting my shoes and socks on. ‘It’s mostly just the Merpeople and the grindylows that can endure the cold temperatures, so they’re the only ones that stay. However, that’s not what our class is on today, we’re heading back to the castle. Come on, the rest of the class are just over there, follow them and we’ll talk about the punishments for leaving a class half way through without informing your teacher.’

The first years just groaned and dragged their feet back to where the rest of them were heading inside. I went to check the cut again and it was still bleeding a little, but I took care of it with my wand and looked up to see Lupin’s slightly pained face.

‘Are you alright?’ He pointed to the cut. I stood up and put my warm t shirt on over the top of my vest.

‘Yeah, fine.’ I said. ‘I don’t remember coming outside for lessons in first year?’

Lupin gave a smile as I put my jumper on and picked up my scarf. I began drying my hair with the towel. ‘No, well, I was showing them where the Forbidden Forest joins up with the Lake and teaching them about the wildlife around there. Thought it’d make a change from reading through textbooks; seems to be all they do in their other classes.’

‘Some people like reading.’ I shot back with a smile.

‘Some people are sponges for information.’ He chuckled and both fell silent. ‘Anyway, hope they didn’t bother you?’

‘No, I was just about to head back anyway.’ I shook my head. ‘I wouldn’t mind the company though.’ It was more a peace offering and Lupin knew it, he just nodded and we walked back with the first years, Lupin being his cheery self, the one I remembered from first year and he captivated the class the same way he’d captivated me. We got to the DADA classroom and I left them heading straight for Gryffindor Tower to take a hot shower.

Christmas was much the same, I had asked my parents if they minded me spending it at Hogwarts with my friends as it would be the last time I did so and they didn’t mind in the slightest. I also had a lot of work to do. Jack had been helping me look at writing a book as I still didn’t know what I wanted to do for a career, I figured this was one way of making a little money.

‘You should start with an introduction to what werewolves are.’ David offered as we sat in the common room one evening. Classes were over and we all either went to Hogsmeade to pass the time or spent it in the library or common room doing our assignments, which didn’t get any easier. 

‘I’ve just had an idea.’ Benji suddenly spoke up. I looked over to where he and Jocelyne were working on their essays at the table in the corner. ‘Why don’t you start the whole thing with what you said at the speech during the summer? You know, the bit that wasn’t on the cue cards? About ignorance and people in a position to do right versus easy?’

‘It would definitely grab attention where you wanted it.’ Jack nodded. ‘I think it would be good.’

‘The only problem is I don’t really remember what I said.’ I said, thoughtfully. ‘I bet Argus would have a record of it though… I’ll send him an owl and see what he thinks.’ I grabbed another piece of parchment and began writing a quick note to Argus. I got up and grabbed my coat from the dormitory, heading back down to see Jack holding a few letters.

‘Do you mind sending ours home?’ He asked, bashfully. ‘It’s just that it’s so cold out there and up at the owlery-‘

‘Fine.’ I said, pretending to be offended and laughing at everyone as I took the letters and left to an echo of thanks. I rolled my eyes to the few younger students that had stayed at Hogwarts for the holidays for one reason or another and they laughed a little. We had some sympathy for the first years who were still there and decided to keep them company and help with any homework they had, they seemed to appreciate the kind gesture.

I always enjoyed the school when it was quiet, it was peaceful and the view of it from the Lake was always spectacular. I let my mind run away with itself for a little while and ran into Professor Snape talking with Professor Sprout, both of whom wished me a happy Christmas, though Snape more nodded in agreement when Sprout had said it.

‘Lockwood.’ The familiar voice of McGonagall called from behind me, I turned to see her holding up an opened letter of her own. ‘Lockwood, there was another meeting at the ministry.’ She said and I frowned not understanding. ‘It was discussing the reclassification of werewolves.’ Right on cue, Lupin appeared outside his classroom, wearing his thick cloak and gave us both a curious look. ‘Umbridge called an emergency meeting at the ministry, she did so in the knowledge that you would not have to be present during the discussion and turned the majority of the ministry against the vote. She’s set you back two years.’

‘She can’t do that!’ I exclaimed.

‘What’s going on?’ Lupin asked and McGonagall handed him the letter and he quickly read through it. ‘I see.’ He said quietly.

‘I’m not sure what options you have here Lockwood, but you’ll have the support of every teacher at this school in whatever you decide.’ McGonagall assured me.

I thought through all the books I’d read on ministry law and I couldn’t recall reading anywhere that an emergency meeting could be called without myself being notified.

‘She can’t do that.’ I said again.

‘I understand your frustration Lockwood, but the ministry can call emergency meetings whenever they like to discuss anything they like and no one need be notified.’ McGonagall said.

‘No, that’s just it, I don’t think she can do it without at least notifying me that it's taking place.’ I said, trying to flick through the books I’d seen the subject in. ‘I don’t remember reading that anywhere… Leave it to me, I’ll take care of this.’ I told McGonagall and she nodded handing me the letter so I could read about what had happened. I began scanning through the letter and she left in the opposite direction.

‘What are you going to do?’ Lupin asked, breaking my concentration. I sighed and looked around for a little inspiration.

‘I need to find a book, one that I read before the first speech campaign.’ I said. ‘It was to do with the debate meetings, it was like a rules and etiquette book.’

Lupin rubbed his chin thoughtfully. ‘I think the one you’re talking about is still in the library, I remembering seeing it when I was last down there.’ I gave him a look and he shook his head. ‘It doesn’t matter why I was there, do you need any help in finding it?’

‘Actually that would be good.’ I nodded and we began walking towards the library, talking about what I thought I read. We searched through every law book we could get our hands on and finally after maybe two hours of searching I found it. ‘Got it!’ I exclaimed and Lupin came around the corner frowning a little as I settled down to read the specific laws connected to the debate meetings. ‘So, I was wrong as far as she can call a meeting whenever she likes, but I was right in that I need to be informed about. It says here that “no meeting emergency or otherwise can be called without notification being sent to expert parties. The arrival of expert parties doesn’t have to occur and the vote can still be passed, however, should notification not reach expert parties for any reason the voting has the option of being forfeited to a majority public vote at an given time within three hundred and sixty-five days of the original meeting occurring.”’

‘So, the vote can go public if you want it to?’ Lupin asked and I nodded. ‘Well, it’s a risky choice, but it could give you some good data if nothing else.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, we don’t really know what public opinion is on the subject.’ Lupin leaned against the desk next to me. ‘If the vote passes in favour, you’ll have won; if it doesn’t, we can find out by how much and have a better idea of how educated the public are on the matter. It gives us more information than we have now.’

I nodded and thought on it for a moment. ‘How much teaching do you do on werewolves?’

Lupin chuckled. ‘More now, than I ever did with you. But I’ve been thinking about speaking to Dumbledore about increasing the work load, maybe just starting with an optional essay and seeing if any of them are especially interested… Snape’s been teaching Lockwood’s Wolfsbane as well, so that’s something.’

‘Will you let me know what he says?’

‘Of course.’ Lupin gave me a small smile.

‘Snape’s teaching my potion?’ I asked, feeling a twinge of embarrassment. Lupin just chuckled and nodded. ‘That’s weird.’ I shook my head and closed the book, putting it back on the shelf. ‘Anyway, I have to send some letters that should have been done a couple of hours ago.’

‘Actually, I was heading to the owlery as well.’ Lupin admitted, we both collected our things and made our way to the owlery.

‘I never thought it would be easier to get a potion approved than it would to get a vote passed in the ministry.’ I said, wrapping my scarf around my neck as we got outside the castle.

‘It’s the way the law works, you can come up with a cure, but going back on yourself and changing what you’re curing is a little harder.’ Lupin chuckled. ‘We don’t live in a particularly fair world, but it works. It keeps danger low and that’s what we want.’

‘It keeps poverty high though.’ I said, miserably. ‘You know, I saw the job section in the prophet the other day and there were nine different jobs that you and Clara are perfectly qualified to take, but I bet they would still take someone under qualified than you.’

‘You’re probably right.’ Lupin nodded, though he didn’t seem particularly upset by it. ‘Again, the world isn’t fair, but it works.’

‘I think we have very different opinions on what works and what doesn’t.’ I laughed and Lupin just smiled. We finally got to the owlery, being careful to avoid the icy step and Lupin went about sending his letters. ‘What do you think I should choose for a career?’ I asked and Lupin looked a little confused.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Jack wants to be a Healer, Jocelyne’s set on being a star gazer, David’s going to study Thestrals and Benji wants to be an Auror.’ I said, I tied their letters to their owls and sent Benji and David’s first while I struggled with Jack’s particularly temperamental owl. ‘I’ve taken more OWLs than everyone else and I’ve not given up any subjects for my NEWTs and I still don’t know what I want to do. Everyone else is getting ready to apply for their jobs and I’m worried I’ll end up working in Flourish and Blotts… I mean there’s nothing wrong with that, but I’d kind of like a better job title than sales assistant.’

Lupin chuckled and went outside to send his owl. I followed him with Jack’s owl and let him fly off, I still had Jocelyne’s and my own to send and headed back inside.

‘What do you want to do?’ Lupin asked, standing in the doorway, leaning against the archway.

‘I don’t know.’ I shrugged. ‘Studying werewolves probably doesn’t pay especially well, lots of holiday time though. I’d only have to work one day a month, two max.’ That pulled a smile from Lupin. ‘I guess I could study something else? Dragons maybe?’

‘I think you should consider what you’re interested in.’ Lupin said softly. ‘You’re interested in werewolves, you like dragons, you enjoy discovering new creatures for yourself and learning about them on your own. It seems to me that your dream job is as a researcher.’

‘A researcher?’ I let Jocelyne’s owl go and began adding a few things to my letters, that I was about to tie to Ruben, who was now a huge strong bird with a lot of determination.

‘It’s not a job that many people can do, it's not a specialist field.’ Lupin explained. ‘It’s more to do with the study of everything. But maybe you should consider it?’

‘I already have a specialist field.’ I shook my head. ‘Leading expert in werewolves, remember?’ I laughed a little and folded the letters back into the envelopes. ‘Even though I’ve never actually seen one.’ I added, more to myself than anything. I walked past Lupin with Ruben and let him fly off into the white sky.

I turned back to see a slightly pained expression on Lupin’s face. 

‘Are you alright?’ I asked.

‘Fine.’ He gave me a tight smile. ‘One of the letters I sent was asking Clara if she would show you what she looks like on a full moon.’

‘Really?’

‘I imagine she would be more than happy to show you for the purposes of research.’ Lupin almost gritted his teeth at the last part. ‘But I’m unsure what will happen once she’s changed… I think it’s a better idea for you to watch in your animagus form. Werewolves don’t have the same attraction to animals as they do to humans, it's just a precaution, but it’s the only thing I’m asking you do for me. I want you to be safe.’

I nodded. If I got the chance to see a real werewolf, then of course I would take all the precautions in the world to keep myself safe.

‘Thank you.’ He said softly and gave me that intense stare once again, before clearing his throat and turning away. ‘I don’t want to push the subject, but have you thought on our conversation from the start of the year? Is there anything you want to ask?’

I sighed and stared out at the white sky that surrounded us. ‘I’ve thought on it.’ I said, I wasn’t ready to talk about any of it just yet though. Lupin didn’t press the topic any more and instead brought out his wand to get rid of the ice on the top step, I smiled a little. ‘Thanks.’

‘No problem.’

We stayed silent for a moment. ‘So, wandless magic?’ I asked and he chuckled a little.

‘Yes, we’ll be beginning after Christmas.’ He nodded. ‘It’s actually a one on one class and several of the staff have offered to help with it. It’ll be in addition to your apparition lessons and you’ll have to have your wand examined before hand.’

‘Why?’

‘It’s nothing to worry about. It’s just to check that the use of your wand is at it’s peak… It’ll be interesting when your turn comes around.’ Lupin smiled and I gave a slightly bashful look. ‘I’m sure you’ll be fine, but I would feel more comfortable if you began using your wand more often.’

I nodded and agreed I would.

‘We’d best head back, it’ll be getting dark soon.’ He said and gestured for me to go first down the narrow steps.

‘I remember when I could walk next to you on these steps.’ I said, smiling to myself.

‘Yes, that was a long time ago now.’ Lupin laughed. We continued down the stairs in silence and finally got back to the warmth of the castle. 

‘You said you came to my speech?’ I suddenly asked. Lupin nodded. ‘Do you remember what I said at the beginning? The bit about ignorance?’

Lupin suddenly stopped just outside his classroom and nodded his head for us to step inside. I was a lot closer to Lupin than I had anticipated and he said, softly and quietly. ‘The one thing I hate beyond anything, without a shadow of a doubt is when those in charge of the system, those in a position to do what is right versus what is easy, claim ignorance… We’re all standing here today, presenting our cases, hoping someone will listen to us and do something to make a difference. Well, we are the difference makers, we need to show each other the respect we all demand for our causes, we cannot claim ignorance, we have to do something to prevent the worst case scenario for each of the people we are trying to help, we need to be the difference makers.’ There was a faint pink flush across his cheeks and he looked at the floor. ‘I thought that was the best part.’ Lupin admitted.

‘You remembered it word for word?’ I asked, feeling a little warm. Lupin nodded. ‘Thank you for coming to it.’

‘I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to hear you speak, not for any reason.’ 

I swallowed hard and found myself not understanding what was happening. Lupin could see what was happening and took a breath. ‘Don’t think too hard, this isn’t something that can be worked out in your head alone, Angelina.’

‘I have to get back.’ I said, feeling my voice crack. Lupin just stepped out of the way and let me leave his classroom to head back to Gryffindor Tower. When I got there, I was greeted by everyone asking why it had taken me so long to deliver some letters, which led into talk of the letter McGonagall had given me.

Jack and David had agreed with my decision to put it to a public vote, saying the same things as Lupin, that we could at the very least gather data on what people really knew about werewolves.

 

Christmas Eve I had gone to Hogsmeade with everyone and we sat in the three broomsticks having a Christmas drink and at some point some of the teachers had shown up. It was an odd sight, to see five seventh year students drinking with Hagrid, Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick who actually held his drink fairly well. 

Eventually it was time to head back, but I still needed to make a stop at Honeydukes before I got back to the castle. I’d let everyone go without me and told them I’d catch up. I wasn’t drunk exactly, but I could feel the Firewhiskey having an effect. I finally got into the shop and the shopkeeper looked at me.

‘Usual Angie?’ He said and I nodded, feeling a little dizzy. ‘You been in the broomsticks for a drink?’ He chuckled and I began giggling.

‘Yeah, had a few.’ I leaned on the counter, just smiling and the shopkeeper just laughed.

‘You wait here, I’ll get what you need.’ He said, still laughing as he began wandering around the shop, picking up the chocolate that I would normally get around this time of year. ‘All in the same box and gift wrapped?’ He asked and I nodded, still giggling to myself. I pulled out a few coins and tried to focus on which ones I needed to hand over. ‘You be careful out there, don’t want you falling over without anyone to help you up.’

‘I think the carriage is still there.’ I thought out loud. ‘I’ll be alright once I get to the castle.’

‘Merry Christmas Angie.’ The shopkeeper laughed.

‘Merry Christmas to you too. I hope it's a good one.’ I smiled and left Honeydukes, taking my time heading to where the last carriage sat waiting for me to climb into. 

I got back to the castle, feeling a little tired and made my way to Lupin’s office, where he was sitting reading by his fire.

‘You’re not supposed to be here.’ I said as I stopped in the doorway.

Lupin looked up over the top of his glasses, made one quick assessment and gave a small smile. ‘Well, I do live here.’

‘Yes, but you’re never here at this time.’ I told him.

‘How do you know that?’ He chuckled, taking his glasses off and putting them to one side.

‘Because this is the time I come here to drop off your Christmas present every year. You’re not supposed to be here.’ I sounded much more offended and upset than I felt.

‘Would you like me to step outside?’ Lupin mocked. ‘I could just pretend I wasn’t here if you like?’

I rolled my eyes. ‘No, just ignore me. I’m not here and I’m not dropping off anything.’

‘Okay.’ Lupin smiled and pretended to go back to reading. I put the box down on his desk, before remembering I hadn’t written out a note as I usually did. ‘Something wrong?’ Lupin asked, still pretending to read.

‘No.’ I snapped. ‘Do you have a spare bit of parchment I could write on?’

Lupin got up and handed me the parchment from his drawer along with a quill still smiling at me, before going to sit down again. I wrote his name and stopped.

‘I don’t know what to write.’ I said, not quite meaning to say it out loud. Lupin just snorted.

‘Sorry.’ He said, raising his hand in apology. ‘I’m ignoring you.’

‘Good. You’re never here and I always know what to write.’ I said, still trying to work out what to say.

‘Do you want some help?’ Lupin said, still sniggering.

‘Nope. I’m on this… I am on this… Absolutely got it… I know exactly what to say… Yup.’ The tag remained blank. ‘Ah, wait, I know.’

Remus,

You’re the best teacher/friend I’ve ever had. Don’t change, but please keep to your schedule and stop making it difficult for me to sneak your Christmas present into your office.

Yours

Angelina

‘There we go.’ I said and slid it underneath the string.

‘Would you like me to spell check it for you?’ Lupin joked as I took my coat off and sat opposite him, I just gave him a look and he laughed. ‘How much did you drink, out of curiosity?’ Lupin put his book down, waved his hand to close the door behind me and observed me.

I leaned on the arm and swung my legs over the other one, the way I would normally relax in the common room. ‘Erm… Well we’d already had three or four butterbeers when Hagrid and Flitwick showed up and that’s when the Firewhiskeys came in… Maybe another three of those and then McGonagall came and I sort of lost count. I just drank what was put down in front of me.’

‘I see.’ Lupin chuckled. ‘Well, would you like a cup of tea to sober you up a little? That’s if I’m allowed to acknowledge your presence yet?’ I smiled and nodded. Lupin stood up and I yawned widely as he began making tea.

‘Do I have to stir with a teaspoon?’ I asked. 

Lupin just eyed me and stirred the tea before he handed me the cup. ‘Already done.’ He gave his cheeky smile and I just scowled, sipping the steaming liquid.

I immediately felt better for it. ‘Did you put something in this?’

‘You think I was going to let you go back to the common room in this state? You might’ve fallen and gotten seriously hurt.’ Lupin sat back and sipped his own tea.

‘Point taken.’ I nodded and kept my eye on Lupin who was giving me his intense stare. ‘Why do you look at me like that?’ He looked down at his tea cup.

‘Like what?’ He frowned.

‘I don’t know how to describe it, it’s like you’re looking right at me.’ I said, hoping I was making myself clear enough.

‘Well, that’s probably because I am looking at you.’ I gave him another scowl.

‘You know what I mean.’ I said and took another gulp of my tea. ‘Is it to do with the conversation we’re not having?’

‘Yes.’ He nodded. There was a slight pause as we both waited for the other one to speak. ‘I don’t think this is the best time to discuss it though.’

‘No, probably not.’ I agreed. ‘You ever been drunk?’

‘Yes.’ Lupin laughed. ‘Several times.’

‘When was the last time you were drunk?’ I challenged him and Lupin just sighed, still smiling and tracking back in his memory.

‘Couple of weeks ago, it was Clara’s birthday.’ Lupin said and I could see the memory playing out in his mind. ‘She doesn’t really celebrate, so I just went to her apartment and stayed with her for a while.’

‘When you say you stayed with her?’ I moved my eyebrows indicating something more went on and Lupin just laughed.

‘With Clara?!’ He exclaimed. ‘No, never, we’re not each other’s type I’m afraid.’

‘Okay,’ I laughed and drank the rest of my tea. ‘So, you went to her apartment, you said happy birthday and then you got drunk?’

‘Pretty much. It was more of a gradual thing, but yes, we sat and talked and drank nearly everything in her kitchen.’ Lupin nodded, eyeing me curiously.

‘I didn’t know it was her birthday.’ I felt bad, like I should have at least sent an owl with a card, but I just never bothered asking the question.

‘I promise, she would prefer it that way.’ Lupin assured me. ‘She’s not one for celebrating herself every year. She would never say no to a drink with friends though.’

‘Will you remind me next year?’

‘Of course, I'll send you an owl to wherever you end up.’

It was suddenly abundantly clear that the following year, not only would I be leaving Hogwarts, I’d be leaving behind Lupin, these chats wouldn’t happen anymore and I wouldn’t have anyone to help me get through life.

‘We’ll still see each other right?’ I asked, feeling a little panicked. ‘I mean, next year. I’m not going to be a student anymore, I’ll be a real life grown up and I won’t be here. Will we still talk about things, big things and small things and stuff that doesn’t matter? Can we still do that?’

Lupin suddenly leaned forward, putting his tea cup to one side. ‘What makes you think I wouldn’t see you as often?’ He asked, he had a sincerity that calmed me down a little. ‘As far as I’m concerned you’ll still be my friend, I’ll still respond every time you write and I’ve even thought about asking you to come and do a couple of guest lectures, just so you can come and see the castle again… It’s like you always say, it’s not the end of the world.’ Lupin gave me an easy smile and I couldn’t help but laugh a little, panicking over nothing, I must’ve been drunk.

‘Will you get drunk with me?’ I asked.

‘Of course I will, any time you like.’ Lupin laughed with me. ‘Will you get drunk with me?’

‘Any time you like.’ I smiled, I suddenly wanted to ask Lupin a very personal question, but I wasn’t sure why.

‘What are you thinking about?’ He said, his features softening. ‘You’ve got that frown, the one that says your thinking about something you don’t quite understand.’

I sighed. ‘Can I talk to Remus?’

‘Would you like me to step out while you do?’ Lupin joked and I just rolled my eyes. ‘I think we can safely say we’re past my being your teacher, we crossed that line a long time ago.’

I laughed a little, agreeing that we’d had enough inappropriate conversations that I could safely place him in the close friend category and keep him there.

‘So, Jocelyne said something to me a couple of years ago and I just laughed it off, mostly because it was out of context and we were getting ready for the ball.’ I started, I could feel my cheeks beginning to burn red, I couldn’t quite look at Lupin while I talked about it. ‘And I heard David saying he and Cassie were the same and Jack’s been talking to me about how we haven’t yet and I was wondering… Actually I’m not sure what I’m wondering, I guess I’m just asking what you think?’ I looked up at Lupin who seemed to be more confused than before.

‘I think you’ve missed something out.’ Lupin chuckled. ‘Just the three Firewhiskeys you said?’ We both just laughed and Lupin swung his leg the other one, leaning on his hand and trying to figure out what I was trying to say. ‘So, this is something that Jocelyne said? And David and Cassie have done it as well, but you and Jack haven't?’ I nodded. ‘Well, I enjoy a cryptic puzzle as much as the next person, but this one has me stumped. Has Benji done it?’

‘Yeah with Jocelyne, she said I hit puberty hard.’ I said and Lupin suddenly gave a look that said he understood. ‘I mean I’ve never asked the details and I’m sure they’ve never done it on school grounds, because if they were caught… I’m sure this was a summer thing.’

‘Okay, let me go back.’ Lupin tried to keep me focussed. ‘You’re asking me what I think of Jocelyne and Benji and David and Cassie sleeping together, all of whom are of age adults, in relationships and perfectly capable of making these decisions on their own?’

‘I’m more asking what you think of the fact that Jack and I haven’t yet?’ I corrected. ‘But yeah, that’s pretty much it.’

‘In the case of you and Jack, I have no opinion and in the case of everyone else, again I have no opinion.’ Lupin stated, still unsure of what was being asked.

‘But don’t you think it’s weird, that considering nearly every other seventh year has…you know, with someone and Jack and I are the only ones that haven’t, you know.’

‘Can we start using the proper terminology?’ Lupin said, almost exasperated. ‘Angelina, there is nothing wrong with having left school without having sex, there’s no pressure for you to sleep with anyone before you leave, it's not a race… I really don’t know what more to say.’ Lupin chuckled slightly. ‘This is really bothering you isn’t it?’

‘I just feel like I’ve missed out.’ I shrugged. ‘I feel like while I was swimming around in the Black Lake and fighting dragons, everyone else was… Having real lives.’ I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment.

‘Angelina,’ Lupin said and I saw him smiling in disbelief. ‘Please tell me you’re actually listening to what you’re saying? You’ve spent your time at Hogwarts finding a better way of helping an entire race of people who have been overlooked and put down for decades, you fought dragons, manticores, dementors, blast ended skrewts, a swarm of Grindylows and an invisible enemy and you’re worried your going to leave without having had sex?’

‘Yes!’ I exclaimed. ‘I’ll probably never meet anyone who wants to be with me like that and I’ll have missed an opportunity to experience something that everyone else just does whenever they feel like it… Not on school grounds, damn it!’ Lupin just laughed as if that was the last thing he cared about. ‘To be honest I’m not convinced I know how it works.’

‘I’m sure I could find a diagram.’ Lupin laughed and I just rolled my eyes at him. ‘While this is possibly the most inappropriate conversation we have ever had, I will give you this piece of advice. You are a very beautiful individual, believe me when I say that you will have no problem in finding someone, but trust me when I say that not everyone who wants to be with you, is worth being with. The man who makes you happy should be focussed on that, especially if he has prior experience, he should want to take care of you and protect you and want to make you laugh and dance and sing and support you through everything, he should be special to you and you should be the most important thing in his life and most importantly of all, he should make you feel good about who you are. All your insecurities will be what he loves most about you, all those things that make you doubt yourself, he should be able to make you see how petty they are, he should give himself entirely to you and you in turn will want to give yourself entirely to him… Sex is simply a physical expression of that and believe me, very few people your age understand what that is.’

I just watched Lupin for a moment and tried to think if I’d ever felt like that about Jack, but I never did. He was my friend and no more. ‘How can one person feel all that, they’d explode?’ I said and Lupin just began laughing with me.

‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Feels like that sometimes.’ He added quietly, but I gave him a look that I hadn’t intended and it confirmed that I’d heard him. 

‘I’m not going to ask.’ I said, shaking my head. I checked my watch and I’d spent a lot longer in Lupin’s office than I had intended. ‘I’d best get back to the common room. It’s gone midnight.’ I said and didn’t move just yet, instead I just watched Lupin who continued to stare back. ‘You really think it’s not a big deal?’

Lupin shook his head. ‘It never matters to the right person.’

‘Does it matter to you?’ I asked and immediately went red, not quite understanding why I asked the question. ‘Never mind, that’s a line and I don’t want to cross it.’ I said, but Lupin was still watching me.

‘It doesn’t matter to me.’ He said and gave me that intense stare for the briefest of moments. ‘Do you want me to walk you back to the Tower?’

I shook my head. ‘I’ll be alright… Merry Christmas Remus.’ I said, giving him a small smile.

He stood up and went around to his desk drawer, pulling out a small box, he came to stand in front of me and held out the box. I stood up to take it and smiled. ‘Merry Christmas Angelina.’

I couldn’t help myself, I leaned up to hug him and felt his hands wrap around me and for the first time, I felt him. I could feel every part of his body pressed against mine and a small whip of panic hit my chest, I pulled away realising that if I could feel him, he could probably feel me and all my scars that I never wanted anyone to see or feel.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ I said and grabbed my coat.

‘I expect so.’ Lupin opened the door for me and I left, feeling the cool air of the classroom hit me and it was a little refreshing compared to the warmth of Lupin’s office. I could feel him watching me the entire walk through his classroom and I didn’t mind in the slightest.


	4. Disappointed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not quite sure what happened, but this chapter seems to have been missed out. Sorry!

I’d saved Lupin’s present for last, keeping it in my bedside drawer and once I’d finished with everyone else downstairs and while Jocelyne was in the shower, I opened it with a smile on my face.

It looked to be a watch of some description, but it had four moons where there would normally be numbers and only one hand. I could see a full moon at the top, a harvest moon, a blue moon and an eclipsed moon. There were letters in the middle that said ‘GBR’ but it looked as if that could change. I picked up the note and read it to myself.

Angelina,

I hope you find this watch of use, the hand shakes when you’re close enough to a werewolf for it to know you’re there. You said you were going to Bulgaria and I hope this keeps you safe when the moon is out. 

Remus

I folded the note and put it to one side, I examined the beautifully designed watch, with gold hands and a brown leather strap. It was gorgeous and I wondered where Lupin could have found such a thing. I wasn’t even sure I knew such a thing existed. I put it down next to my other watch and got up and dressed for the day.

 

Christmas had been much the same and I’d gotten a reply from Argus about the emergency vote and about my writing of a book. He’d sent me his notes on what I’d said, but it looked as if I might have needed to ask Lupin to help out with it. He’d told me a public vote probably wouldn’t go the way I wanted it to go, because the public weren’t educated enough on the matter, but it would be worth publishing a few articles on the subject and at least trying to get people to understand what they would be voting for.

I got to work immediately on what we already knew about werewolves and began writing out a few drafts for Argus to edit and get published in the Prophet for me. I’d written to my parents telling them what the plan was and they promised to spread the word. Darren had told me to get in contact with Katie who was now working as a press handler for the Falmouth Falcons, she would be able to let us know how best to handle public opinion.

I had been sitting in my DADA class, the last of the day, reading a book on ministry voting techniques, when a small note had floated onto my page. I looked around to see who had sent it and quickly watched to see if Lupin had noticed, he hadn’t. I opened it and saw a black silhouetted figure standing tall above a crowd, holding something blue and glimmering. The notation said it was the Triwizard Cup, a dragon came out of nowhere and breathed fire onto it, the figure looked a little worn, then the page filled with water and the figure began drowning, before it began running through a cartoon maze. It ran into the dementors, before touching the cup and holding it high again. 

The figure went to bed and slept while it dreamt of it’s friends being eaten by Sphinx and Manticores and other creatures. The figure woke up, wiped away the sweat and snuggled up next to the Cup.

Another figure came along and snatched the cup away and began beating the figure with it, until red began to pour down the page and the crowd appeared again and stood around pointing and laughing at the bleeding figure on the floor. I looked at Garrett immediately who just laughed; without thinking, I put the note to one side and charmed another piece of parchment and sent it over to him.

I didn’t even need to look to know it worked, Garrett began screaming and the whole class turned to see boils breaking out on his face and bursting with puss. It was fairly revolting, but it made most people laugh. I just went back to reading, while Lupin dismissed the class and began helping Garrett to the hospital wing.

‘Not you.’ Lupin called and without even looking at him, I spun on my heel, sat down and began reading again. I could feel the note Garrett had sent me still playing out in my hand and found a little comfort in the repetition. Lupin had eventually come back and I could hear him sighing as he sat in front of me. ‘You want to tell me what brought that on?’

I slid the note towards Lupin who opened it and watched it play out, I just continued to make notes and read through my book.

‘I see.’ Lupin said and set the note alight, I watched the ashes fall to the ground in front of him. ‘You know the drill, detention every night this week and next. You need to realise that he will always try and make you angry enough to retaliate tenfold.’ I just scratched at the parchment and sighed. ‘Is any of it true?’

My eyes went straight to Lupin’s, I could see the kindness pouring out of his blue orbs and it calmed me a little. ‘I’ve been having nightmares.’ I said and closed my book, tucking my notes away.

‘How long for?’ Lupin’s expression changed to something more pained.

I shrugged. ‘Since it was over.’

‘That’s nearly a year!’ He exclaimed. ‘Why didn’t you tell anyone you were struggling?’

‘I thought they’d go away.’ I said simply. ‘I take the potion for dreamless sleep every so often, just so I get a night of peace.’

‘I understand.’ Lupin nodded and sighed. ‘Just make sure you watch yourself with that particular potion, it can be highly addictive and the withdrawal if you do become addicted, it’s been known to give people suicidal tendencies… You’re not taking it that often are you?’

I felt that whip of panic surge through me. ‘Not often, once a week at most.’ Lupin could tell straight away that I was lying, it was more, much more. I’d forgotten about the addictiveness of the potion entirely. ‘Maybe, three, four times a week.’ That was the truth and Lupin seemed much more satisfied with that answer.

He stood up and walked back to his desk and I was convinced I was about to be in detention for the rest of my life. ‘I would start reducing that number now.’ He said calmly. I looked up to see him routing around for something in his drawers. ‘Dreamless sleep, contains mild sedatives and an enormous amount of lavender and Valerian, but you know that because you’ve been making it, these two things combined are what give the drinker both the peaceful sleep and the calm awakening.’ Lupin pulled out a huge bar of chocolate. ‘These are the most addictive qualities and probably what’s gotten you drinking it so often. Take this.’ He handed over the chocolate. ‘That is a particular type of chocolate that will induce a calm sleep and counteract the two ingredients, you’ll still have nightmares, but they will feel like real dreams that you will be perfectly capable of waking from. I’d suggest one square every other night for maximum effectiveness, just until your cravings for the dreamless sleep subside, if it doesn't work... Madame Pomfrey will have to deal with you.'

I took the huge bar and suddenly wondered why Lupin would have this in his desk drawer.

‘You’re not the only one who has nightmares.’ He answered my silent question. ‘Werewolf remember? And I’ll expect you to come back every week to let me know how often you’ve taken the potion and so I can assess your state. If you lie, I’ll know.’ Lupin said and wandered up to his office. I stayed where I was for just a moment, before gathering my things and heading straight for the common room.

The entire month had been like a living hell, I could handle the cold sweats, I could even live with the nightmares towards the end, it was the constant vomiting I hated. I’d spent three nights in a row in the hospital wing and took to sleeping on my front over the bucket, I’d been worn down and the fatigue was just about the worst thing I could imagine. I didn’t want to move or think or breathe or do anything that required energy. I hadn’t eaten and even water was making me gag every time I drank it.

‘You should have known better than to think you could just take it as and when you like.’ Pomfrey had kept saying. ‘A smart girl like you, not reading the warnings or instructions properly. I’m very disappointed.’ It was the same thing every day and I was pretty tired of hearing how disappointed she was. Anything that was said to me, I was numb to it. No one could give me enough energy to talk back or even acknowledge that they had been speaking at all.

Lupin of course was there every day and never said anything, he just sat either watching me or reading books. Finally, on the third evening I figured out why. ‘This is how it feels, isn’t it?’ I said, pulling the blanket tighter around my body that was shivering uncontrollably.

He’d glanced my way briefly, before turning his attention back to his book. ‘I imagine what you’re going through is marginally worse.’ He said and I wanted to let out a small laugh, but my body just wouldn’t let it happen. ‘The day of a transformation is usually the day the fatigue sets in and you never want to do anything, but a drop in temperature was never a problem for me… Are you in pain?’

‘Yes.’ I breathed and felt the aches and pains in my joints.

‘Well, you’ll have to wait another hour for a pain relief.’ Lupin put his book and glasses on the small table next to me and I groaned into the pillow, still feeling the biting cold. ‘I’m sorry, but this is how it has to be. We can’t make it go any faster and it can only be slower.’

‘It’s torture.’ I whined.

‘I know, believe me, I know torture.’ Lupin gave a hint of a smile. ‘But it’ll pass, one more day and you can sleep for as long as you want and it’ll be over.’ I tried to focus on just one more day. 

‘Can I ask a question?’ My voice was cracked and stuttered. Lupin nodded. ‘Do you still get hot? Near the time, I mean.’ I struggled to get the words out, but Lupin understood.

‘Yes, my temperature still rises a little during the cycle.’

‘Are you hot now?’

‘Relatively.’ Lupin frowned.

‘I’m freezing.’ I hated the shivering and I tried so hard to keep my breathing calm, but all the talking was taking it out of me. Lupin looked behind him briefly and adjusted the curtain I had around my bed, he seemed satisfied and brought the chair closer to me.

‘If you really are that cold, this might burn a little.’ He said quietly. ‘You’ll tell me if it does?’ I nodded as best I could, I just needed to be warmer and stop the shivering. Lupin gently pulled the blanket back to reveal my arms tight against my chest, he placed his hand over mine and he was right, it burnt slightly, but it sent warm rushes through my arms and that was fine. ‘Close your eyes and try to relax.’ Lupin said, softly. I did as he asked and hoped that whatever he was going to do would work. ‘Deep breaths for me, Angelina.’ I took as deep a breath as I could take and felt his other hand rest just above my head, while his thumb stroked my forehead, again sending warm rushes through me.

I felt him move the blanket a little, so that it was back where it was before he began. His hand then came to rest on my shoulder and slid down a few inches to rest on my shoulder blade.

‘Is that okay?’ He whispered.

‘Yeah, better. Please don’t stop.’ I whispered back, I felt him still momentarily, before he carried on and I could feel sleep pulling me away again.

 

Lupin had been so disappointed that she had never mentioned her nightmares before, of course he figured she must have had them, but when she came back that year there was no tiredness to her, he figured she had seen someone during the summer and chose to remain quiet about it and that was fine. 

Lupin looked down at her shivering body, she was so beautiful and it had taken all of his control to do nothing for her. This was the best thing for her and maybe it would teach her the consequences of becoming addicted to certain potions. He had spoken with Madame Pomfrey and they both agreed that relieving the pain all the time wouldn’t keep her off of the potion, it would just teach her that the recovery isn’t all bad and tempt her to take the Dreamless Sleep again.

He could feel how cold she was, her skin was a little damp, but he really didn’t mind, if this was what he could do to help then he was more than happy to do it. Lupin enjoyed the feel of her body in his hands and he began the same argument he’d been having with himself, since the year before. 

She was of age and perfectly capable of making her own decisions, but she was still a student and he could get into a lot of trouble for feeling this way about her. He could get into a lot of trouble with some of the conversations they’d had, especially the ones that made him happiest, where she laughed and teased him about various things, like asking Filch to the Ball. He enjoyed seeing her happy, but often he found his mind drifting away from innocent teasing.

Clara had been his greatest ally through the whole thing, giving him advice and agreeing that while she was at school, there was nothing wrong with talking about how they felt, but acting upon it could have serious consequences. Clara had also warned him against pushing her too hard, Angelina had told him she didn’t understand what it was he felt and he had described it as an affection, which was almost as bad and her comparing Lupin to Jack. 

It was obvious she had a love for Jack, but it wasn’t the same as what she felt for him, he was was sure of it. She had seen him in the maze, not Jack, Fleur had said she looked at him like a lover, that had to mean the feeling was mutual. He had a small amount of hope that this would work out for the best, but he wouldn’t push her into anything, she needed to work this out on her own and he would wait until she did, he’d found patience was his greatest strength and she had all of his patience.

Lupin needed to head back to his office to finish up some work and waited until he was sure she was asleep before he did.


	5. Our Time Is Done

Finally, it was over, I’d woken a week later and for the first time in months, I felt like real human being again. Jack had apologised for not visiting more often, but everyone was struggling to keep up with their homework and I just brushed it off as one of those things.

‘You didn’t miss much though, I’ve got the list of essays that need to be done for your classes.’ Jack handed me the parchment as we walked past the courtyard where it seemed a new pair of students were entertaining the crowd. Jack and I watched for a while and laughed with everyone else. That was before one of the students noticed us and I vaguely recognised him.

‘Angie Lockwood!’ He called and I tried to remember where I had seen him before. ‘Parchment.’ He called and someone handed him a piece of parchment. He winked to the crowd and began making a dragon that flew all around the courtyard, before breathing fire up into the air above it and setting itself on fire. He was the first year I’d seen while I was in fourth, a firecracker had hit him in the back of his head that the Slytherins had sent over and I’d gotten them back for him. 

I clapped and smiled at him, feeling a hint of pride. 

‘One more? For old times sake?’ Jack said, nudging me. I laughed and nodded. Before I knew it, he was bounding out into the middle of the courtyard. ‘Ladies and gentlemen! Witches and wizards of Hogwarts… Would we leave you without a parting gift?’ The crowd laughed and I pointed my wand at the ground. The dirt and soil rose up behind him and I made it copy Jack’s movements as he began riling up the crowd, he suddenly realised that something was wrong and began searching around, catching eye of the dirt. ‘Angie!’ He yelled and laughed. The dirt figure shrugged and collapsed into a pile on the ground.

I slowly wandered out into the courtyard and circled Jack. ‘What? I thought you liked a challenge?’ The crowd began egging Jack on and we both rolled our sleeves up.

‘Alright Lockwood, let’s do this.’ He said, smiling. We raised our wands just in front of our faces and began like a duel. ‘Here we go!’

Jack and I entertained the crowd, using much more advanced spells than we’d ever used before. I’d made a small gust of wind carry Jack around the outer edge of the courtyard and he winked to all the girls in the crowd. Most of them went red and I just laughed. We’d made ice sculptures dance around us while we came up with a finale.

‘I’m all ears Angie.’ Jack said, letting the mermaids jump over us.

‘Erm… Ring of ice, but we could use fire instead?’ I suggested.

‘We’d burn up wouldn’t we?’ Jack panicked as the dance was about to come to an end.

‘Not if it’s blue fire, that’s just light.’

‘Okay, let’s do it.’ Jack nodded and we began sending waves of blue fire circling around us that grew higher and higher. ‘Let it go Angie.’ Jack called and we let it drop just as we had done with the ice sculptures. There was a moment’s silence, before everyone erupted in applause, cheering and shouting.

We took our bows and waved to the crowds, before turning to each other and holding each other close. ‘I’ll miss this.’ I whispered.

‘Me too.’ Jack held me a little tighter, before pulling away and we made our exit, shaking everyone’s hand as we left, including the Gryffindor student from all those years ago. Jack gave him a hug and laughed. ‘You’re going to have a great time.’ Jack promised. 

I hugged him as well and said quietly. ‘Make the most of it.’

Jack and I headed off towards the library, where we had originally intended on going to get some work done for my essays, which even I had to admit were a challenge. On occasion I would exchange a look with Jack that said this was really was coming to an end, our time at Hogwarts was nearly over and it was terrifying.


	6. I Could Lose My Job

The vote was ready to take place, it was the day before my birthday during the Easter holidays and I’d just hoped I’d done enough to educate the public about the real nature of werewolves, but it was a slim chance. Hagrid had managed to get a hold of a ministry radio that would broadcast the voting results in the middle of McGonagall’s classroom. My parents hadn’t been able to come down for it, but promised that they would be listening on the radio as well and would let Darren know the results as soon as they were announced.

Darren was in the middle of a game in Japan that had lasted several days and the players needed to be swapped in and out every twelve hours.

I’d picked up a shattered hip from the Quidditch match only a few days before and I needed a crutch for support, but it didn’t stop me from getting to the classroom with Jack and David, just a few minutes before the results would be announced. Everyone was there, Jocelyne, Benji, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Lupin, Clara, Sprout, Pomfrey even Snape had a mild interest in the outcome. Flitwick and Trelawney were just behind me and ran in a little out of breath.

Lupin had offered me the seat he was occupying and smiled, I saw the tail end of a look that Clara gave him. ‘I read all your articles.’ She said. ‘They were very good and very informative, there were things in there that even I didn’t know.’

‘Thanks, I had some help with structure from Argus.’ I chuckled.

Everyone had been so absorbed in their own conversations that Hagrid’s voice boomed through the room to get everyone to pay attention.

‘Here we go.’ He said.

‘…the voting is final.’ The voice came. ‘Item sixty-two, the reclassification of werewolves into the Half-breed category, presented by Angie Lockwood the world’s leading expert in lycanthropy, Order of Merlin First Class and recent Triwizard Tournament Winner. The voting came to a seventy-eight, twenty-two majority public vote denying the reclassification; the voting is final.’ The room was silent. I could feel everyone’s eyes turning to me; we’d lost.

For a moment, I just looked at the same spot I had done while listening to the results, but soon I needed to say something, I cleared my throat. ‘Twenty-two percent.’ I said.

‘Angelina.’ Lupin said.

‘Okay, we lost, it wasn’t what we hoped for, but it was a slim chance of going in our favour.’ I nodded, reassuring everyone. Snape just rolled his eyes and left the classroom. ‘So, now we need to come up with another plan. We got the data, the public clearly need more than a few articles in the Daily Prophet, so,’ I cleared my throat again and stood up, leaning on my crutch. ‘We need a new plan.’ I gave my best smile and it seemed to do the trick, everyone sighed with relief and began talking about all the hard work I’d done so far and how it was just the beginning.

I’d began to feel the ache in my hip and I needed to get out of the claustrophobic classroom. 

‘Actually, I think I’m going to go upstairs and sleep for a while.’ I said to Clara and Lupin while they told me how proud they were of me.

‘Not before you drink this Lockwood.’ Pomfrey interrupted and handed me a goblet full of something I vaguely recognised. ‘You’ll have a fully operational hip in the morning, just make sure you get plenty of sleep.’

‘Yes ma’am.’ I said, downed the nasty potion and handed her the empty goblet.

‘Actually I think I’ll head as well.’ Lupin said and I definitely caught the look Clara gave him, problem was I didn’t quite know what it meant. ‘If you don’t mind the company?’

I shook my head and began limping away, saying good night to everyone who was still in the classroom. Lupin and I walked in silence, until we came to the turning for him to head towards his classroom and for me to head towards Gryffindor Tower.

Lupin hugged me good night and once again told me how proud he was of me, I thought I’d break there and then, but I stayed strong and took a deep breath, the way he’d taught me. We parted ways and I tried not to think on the results.

 

The next day was my birthday and as Pomfrey had promised, my hip was just about recovered. There was still a little ache, which was normal, but it didn’t really bother me that much.

I’d spent most of my birthday, laughing with everyone and eating far too much chocolate in the common room, before I found a spare piece of parchment in my coat pocket. A message appeared on it as soon as I opened it up.

Angelina,

I’d like to give you your birthday present before the day is over. Write yes and I’ll put the kettle on.

Remus.

I’d found and excuse to get away from my friends just after dinner and they barely noticed I was gone as Benji had broken into his Firewhiskey stash. I’d only had one, but I was a little tired so it felt like more. I wrote yes on the parchment and made my way up to Lupin’s office.

I knocked quietly and suddenly felt very self-conscious. Lupin opened the door and immediately noticed that I’d had a drink.

‘How many?’ He raised his eyebrow.

‘I’m just a little tired so it feels like five.’ I chuckled. ‘I only had one.’ 

Lupin just laughed and gestured for me to take my usual seat while he closed the door.

‘Now, I know I said I’d put the kettle on, but it’s late enough that I think something a little stronger would be appropriate.’ Lupin handed me a glass and filled it up with a brown-gold liquid. I frowned a little. ‘My father used to drink this, it’s muggle whiskey, or scotch… I never did work out the difference.’ Lupin shook his head and poured his own whiskey. I watched him sit opposite me and he held his glass out for me to tap with my own. ‘Happy birthday Angelina.’ He smiled and we sipped a little of the much sweeter whiskey.

‘Sweet.’ I said. ‘I like it, your dad had good taste.’

‘He certainly thought so.’ Lupin chuckled. ‘So, have you had a good day?’

‘It was fine, think I ate too much chocolate, but it was good.’ I sat for a moment and remembered some stupid joke that Jack had told that had me in stitches. ‘It was better than yesterday anyway.’ I sipped the whiskey again and saw Lupin watching me.

‘Well, I have to say, you took the whole thing very well.’ Lupin smiled and it was at that moment I couldn’t hold my tears back any longer. ‘Are you okay?’ He said and leaned towards me, pulling out a handkerchief for me to wipe away my tears.

‘Yeah, I’m fine.’ I said, trying to stop the tears. ‘I just… I just really thought… I believed this could be it. I was so stupid, of course this wouldn’t be the end… Twenty-two percent, that was it, barely a dent in the population.’

‘Yeah, I know.’ Lupin said and took the handkerchief to dry the areas I’d missed. ‘It wasn’t going to be an easy ride, but I won’t deny I had a little hope as well.’

‘Really?’

‘Absolutely.’ Lupin nodded. ‘Anyone who saw all the work you’d put into it would have the same hope.’

‘All that work.’ I laughed. ‘It was worthless in the end.’

‘No, no absolutely not.’ Lupin shook his head and sat on the edge of his chair. ‘All that work has just paved the way for more discovery, more learning and more research into the condition. All the work you do can always be used, if not by you, by someone else with an idea and that could lead to any number of new things… Angelina, you have helped so many people already, think of all the good you can do when you don’t have this place distracting your attention.’ We both laughed at that bit. ‘Feel any better?’

‘Yeah.’ I said and bit down on my lip to calm myself down a little. ‘You always cheer me up when I need it.’

‘Good, besides, I don’t think you’re allowed to cry on your birthday of all days anyway.’ Lupin said thoughtfully. ‘Must be some kind of law against it.’

‘A muggle law?’ I chuckled.

‘Yes, that must be it.’ He agreed and smiled at me, I rolled up my sleeves and leaned on my hand relaxing a little. I caught Lupin looking at my arm and smiling. ‘Where exactly did you get the watch?’ I asked, adjusting both my original watch that told me the time and the moon watch Lupin had given me at Christmas.

Lupin leaned back and sipped his whiskey again. ‘Well, some of the parts came from one of Ollivander’s suppliers and the strap came from a friend of mine who’s studying dragons in Romania-‘

‘Wait a second, parts?’ I said and Lupin went slightly pink. ‘You mean you made this? On your own?’

‘Well, I had a little help from Alfred, his father was a watch maker, so he knows how it should work, but the actual putting it together was all me.’ 

I looked down at the beautifully designed watch and felt my heart pull. ‘It’s beautiful.’

‘I’m glad you like it.’ Lupin smiled. ‘I have your birthday present in my drawer, except it’s from myself and Clara. James heard Clara and I talking about it and wanted to get you something as well, I expect he’ll send you something in the week.’ Lupin rolled his eyes and I had to laugh. He stood up and went around to his desk drawer, he pulled out a thick, leather bound book. I stood to get a closer look and Lupin came around the desk to hand it to me. ‘It’s not as extravagant as the watch, but Clara and I thought it would be of use to you while you’re away.’ Lupin said and I ran my hand over the front that had an engraving of a wolf on it. It was gorgeous, I opened the book to find the pages were blank. ‘If you should run into trouble, or you struggle to know what to do, you tap on the front and name a subject,’ Lupin explained. ‘The fist page will appear as a list of books that can be found in the ministry public library and you speak one to read it. The pages fill up with that book.’

‘Are you serious?’ I chuckled. ‘That’s amazing.’ I closed the book and pulled out my wand. ‘Pick a subject.’ I said and Lupin laughed shaking his head trying to think of something.

‘Erm… Werewolves, for the sake of testing.’ He smiled. I tapped the front with my wand and said the subject and sure enough the first page gave a staggeringly short list of books, one was especially appealing to me.

‘Hairy Snout, Human Heart.’ I said and scanned further into the book. It was all there, the entire book was there. ‘Thank you so much.’ I looked up to see that familiar intense gaze disappearing.

‘There’s the back page as well.’ Lupin cleared his throat and turned the book towards the back page. ‘Here.’ He picked up a quill and handed it to me. ‘You write the name of someone you want to write to and the message you’d like to send and it goes straight to the nearest Owlery where they will send it for you… You can write to anyone you like, you just put the address in the top corner and it’ll get there. Write in red ink if it’s an emergency.’

I thought for a moment before writing out a note, making sure Lupin couldn’t see. When I was done, I watched the words fade away.

‘What did you write?’ Lupin asked, curiously.

‘You’ll find out when it arrives.’ I said, handing him the quill back. He gave a small laugh and leaned back sitting on the edge of his desk. ‘Thank you for this.’

Lupin waved his hand. ‘It’s no problem, saves you carrying around an unnecessary amount of parchment and I’m sure your parents will want to hear from you as often as possible.’ He said. 

‘Yeah, I’ll be writing every day when they find out I can.’ I chuckled and looked at the cover again. ‘A wolf?’

Lupin’s nose crinkled a little. ‘Clara’s input.’ He chuckled. ‘She enjoys things like that. It’s a little much for my taste.’

I just laughed with him a little and silence fell over us before I realised something. ‘Hey guess what?’

‘What?’

‘I’ve been an adult for an entire year.’ I span around and it made Lupin laugh. ‘And I still have no idea how to be a grown up.’

‘Not many of us do.’ He smiled. ‘We’re all just making it up as we go along.’ I saw something happen in Lupin’s eyes that made him look away and clear his throat. ‘Are you ready for your exams?’

I nodded, still trying to work out what that was. I placed the book carefully down on the chair and took a breath. ‘Yeah, looks like Ancient Runes will be the hardest, mostly because I haven’t really been paying much attention in that class.’

‘Because you’re so attentive in mine.’ Lupin said and it made me smile.

‘Yeah, but I am the Triwizard Champion, I’ve fought dragons and Grindylows and Dementors.’ I nodded. ‘I’m pretty well equipped I’d say.’

Lupin laughed and nodded, throwing in the towel. ‘Fair enough. What about your apparition licence?’

‘Easy, I’ll pass it in my sleep.’ I said confidently. ‘I’m a little uncertain about my wandless magic test though, any chance you could help me have a little confidence in it?’

Lupin sighed. ‘I’m not supposed to reveal the results early.’ He said and I nodded a little sadly, but I understood. ‘So, that means I’m not allowed to say that you passed.’ I looked up and saw that cheeky smile he had.

‘I passed?’ I asked, just to make sure and he nodded. ‘That’s great news.’ I wrapped my arms around Lupin, I was so happy that I’d passed that one. After all the talk of my power not settling quite right and the doubt surrounding it, to find that I’d passed was the best news I’d had all day.

Lupin slid his hands up my back and held me close. ‘I’m so proud of you, Angelina.’ He said quietly just next to my ear. I pulled back and smiled happily, that’s when I saw the kindness and compassion pouring from Lupin’s eyes, he was examining every part of my face. ‘You’re so beautiful.’ He said and I could feel myself going red, suddenly very aware that his hands were holding my waist lightly against him.

‘I don’t understand that.’ I admitted and felt the panic creeping back it. ‘I don’t understand why you’re looking at me like that.’

‘Would you like me to tell you?’ He asked and I could see him swallowing thickly. I nodded. ‘I… I’m looking at you like this, because I think you are the most beautiful person in the world, but I can’t tell you that and expect you to think the same thing about me. It’s a complicated feeling.’ He smiled a little.

I thought for a moment. ‘What do people normally say when someone tells them they’re beautiful?’ 

‘They don’t say anything, they don’t do much talking normally.’ I could see Lupin’s cheeks flushing pink. 

‘What do they do?’ I frowned.

Lupin went to say something, but closed his mouth again. ‘Ask me again when the school year is over.’

‘They kiss don’t they?’ I asked and Lupin looked as if he didn’t quite know what to say. ‘Jack said that before I kissed him.’

‘I don’t want to hear about you kissing anyone else.’ Lupin suddenly said and I frowned. ‘I don’t like being jealous and I don’t like being compared to Jack.’ He admitted.

‘Why don’t you kiss me then?’ I wasn’t even sure why I said it, but I didn’t regret it in the slightest.

‘I can’t.’ He said quietly. He almost looked pained. ‘Angelina, you have no idea how much I want to, but I can’t, not while you’re still a student. It wouldn’t be right.’

I frowned and felt a little stupid for saying it, before a thought occurred to me. ‘You know it’s the Easter holidays.’ A small smile appeared on Lupin’s face as he realised as well that technically I wasn’t a student during the holidays.

‘True… I think I’m happy with that technicality.’ He smiled and I felt a nervousness in my stomach that I’d never felt before, I trusted him though, I more than trusted him, but I didn’t have a word for it.

Lupin didn’t move his hands and he didn’t take his eyes off of me for a moment, before his gaze dropped to my lips and he leaned forward a little, not going too fast and it felt so good to have him so close to me. It was light at first, just him brushing his lips over mine, grazing over me and sending small rushes through my body. He added a small amount of pressure, it was like he was giving in to the action and his hands moved up my waist a little as he began moving expertly over my mouth. He had caught my bottom lip between his and sucked gently, making me lean into him a little more, craving more of whatever it was he was doing. His tongue swiped over my lip and I involuntarily opened my mouth, he didn’t dare explore too far in case it was too much, but just mapping out the inside of my mouth with his tongue was enough. 

It felt so good, the way Jocelyne had described it, the way she said she felt, the nervousness that you didn’t care about, the feel of someone close to you and the way that it made you feel, the confidence you had. 

Lupin’s hand moved up my back and he let out a small moan, feeling me wanting to taste more of him, explore his lips the way he had explored mine. Before he stopped and rested his head against mine, both of us, just trying to regain our breathing a little. It was nothing like kissing Jack, that was how I imagined it should have been, but I would never have thought Lupin would make me feel like that.

‘Angelina.’ Lupin whispered.

‘That felt good.’ I smiled and felt my cheeks burn bright.

‘Yes.’ He breathed and smiled as well. He pulled back to look at me and check I really was okay. ‘Maybe a little too good.’ He admitted, I frowned. ‘Let’s just say it was a good thing we stopped when we did.’ He chuckled. He looked over my face, searching for something. ‘Are you okay?’

I nodded and smiled. ‘Very… It was better than I expected.’

Lupin frowned a little. ‘Well, that would indicate you’ve thought about it before?’ There was that cheeky smile again. 

‘Not exactly.’ I felt my cheeks burn red. ‘I… I dreamt about it... Once’ I admitted, feeling a little embarrassed. ‘I don’t really want to talk about it though.’

Lupin just chuckled and nodded. ‘Okay, what would you like to talk about?’ Truthfully I wasn’t sure I wanted to do any talking and Lupin could see it on my face. ‘As much as I’d enjoy nothing more than kissing you well into the night…I think we should leave it at that until you’ve finished school officially and not just work on a technicality.’

I nodded a little sadly and with a lot of hesitation I pulled away from Lupin, sitting down in the soft armchair and watching him do the same. ‘I guess this means I have to get used to calling you Remus.’

Lupin laughed and threw his head back a little. ‘I’m sure I could live with just Lupin.’ He said and I could see him replaying something in his mind.

‘You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?’ I said and couldn’t help but do the same. 

‘I’m thinking about a lot of things.’ Lupin suddenly looked like he was worrying about something. ‘Mostly about what just happened, but a little about the consequences.’ I nodded in understanding. ‘I’m still your teacher and if anyone found out, I could face serious problems, I could lose my job. But I think I’m more worried that I might distract you from passing your exams.’

‘You haven’t.’ I assured him and Lupin gave me a curious look. ‘I’m going to get Os in everything, I’m a sponge remember? Besides the only one I’m worried I’ll get anything less in is Ancient Runes and I hardly think the world will end if I get an E in that one. Probably still be top of the class.’ I found myself running my thumb over the engraving on the book and I felt my heart lift. 

‘You’re going to do great things Angelina.’ Lupin said softly. ‘I feel sure the world will be a more interesting place with you in it.’

‘You mean when I’m left unsupervised and free to do whatever I like?’ I chuckled and Lupin just laughed nodding. I quickly checked the time and it was getting a little late. ‘I should probably go.’

Lupin checked his watch as well. ‘Probably.’ He agreed and smiled. I drank the last remaining drop of my whiskey and stood up, Lupin was ahead of me to open the door.

‘Thanks for the whiskey and thank you for my present. Look out for my note.’ I winked at him.

‘You’re very welcome. Happy birthday Angelina.’ He said and I could see the resistance in his eyes. I leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek, before smiling and leaving the safety of his office. Again I felt his gaze on me as I wandered out of his classroom. 

 

I’d gone home for the rest of the Easter holidays, just so I got to see my parents again, but I’d decided to keep quiet on my birthday day present from Lupin, they really didn’t need to know that I’d kissed a teacher on my eighteenth birthday. I had felt different though, I was slightly panicked when I thought about what I had done the next morning; I’d been in the shower and my head was killing me from drinking too much the night before, but there was a nagging doubt over what the kiss had meant, I still didn’t have the word. 

I spent around twenty minutes under the hot water before heading down for breakfast with half the school. And it was only when I casually glanced down the table that I caught sight of Lupin opening up a letter and wondering if it was the one I’d sent him. By the looks of expression he had, it was. It was a mixture of happy and exhaustive, he just shook his head smiling and folded the letter into his jacket pocket.

I’d forgotten how much I’d missed home while I was there, I’d cleaned up the house during the day so that my parents could just come home and relax for a change and we talked about what I’d do after school well into the night, both of them having their input into the book I was beginning to write a little more seriously now.

‘What are you going to call it?’ My mother asked as we all sat out in the cool evening air. They had invested in a nice table and chairs to go outside, seeing as they would often entertain Darren and a few of his friends when he came home to visit and it was nice, it was classy and so my parents.

I shrugged, sipping my butterbeer and looking out at the view. ‘Not sure, maybe just Lockwood’s Wolfsbane?’

‘A good a title as any.’ My father agreed, taking a small mouthful of his own butterbeer. ‘So is this what you think you’ll be doing? For a career?’

‘Not sure.’ I sighed. ‘I mean, I’m pretty confident I’ll get good grades in my NEWTs, I’m predicted O in everything, I guess if being a worldly traveller and writer doesn’t work out, I’m qualified to find a decent job. Maybe an Auror or a Healer, I mean how hard can it be?’ It made them chuckle and we continued to watch the night wash in, until we were all on the verge of being properly drunk.

The day I was heading back to Hogwarts, I’d woken up and stared at the wall opposite. My Triwizard Cup stared back at me with its blue glow and I’d gotten used to being able to read my two certificates in the dark, my Order of Merlin and Leading Expert certificate. It dawned on me that most people never achieve those things in their entire life times, my parents and Darren hadn’t, I wasn’t even out of Hogwarts yet and I was looking at a life time of awards staring back at me. It unsettled me slightly and I began getting ready to go back, meeting up with David on the very empty train. Most people stayed at Hogwarts during Easter so they could study, but David was going to pass his subjects no problem and I wasn’t exactly worried either.  
‘So, that’s it, you’re all set up?’ I said.

‘Yup. Application is in, accommodation sorted and I’m on the reserve list for Trainer, depending on my exam results.’ David had applied for a position looking after Thestrals in Bulgaria.

‘I guess I’ll see you there.’ I said. ‘When do you go?’

‘About two weeks after the exams are over, I’ll be taking lessons in Bulgarian for a few weeks before the real work starts.’ David explained. ‘Let me know when you get there and we’ll meet for a drink.’

‘Might not be until the end of the summer now, the rights campaign is coming around again and I’ll need to make another speech.’ I sighed. ‘It’s getting a little exhausting, I’m running out of material.’

‘I can imagine.’ David chuckled.

‘What does Cassie think of you moving away?’

‘She’s a little upset that I won’t be around as much, but we’ll work something out.’ We talked for the rest of the journey and napped for some of it, before finally we dragged our feet back to the castle.


	7. Choose Me

Lupin had read over the letter a few times and it made him smile every time.

Remus,

How do you stop a werewolf attacking you? Throw a stick and shout fetch!

Thank you for my birthday present.

Angelina.

He folded the note away and kept looking at it when he needed a little cheering up, which wasn’t often, but he was glad it was her that helped. He kept thinking back to her birthday and the kiss they shared, it was better than he could have imagined it. She was so responsive and just let him do whatever he wanted, he could have gone so much further, but he was certain she wasn’t ready for that and it had taken all his strength to stop and then to find that she enjoyed it as much as he did, to the point where she didn’t want to stop either, it was hard for him to pull away. She just felt so good in his hands and her lips pressed against his just fit.

A small amount of guilt sat in the pit of his stomach though, mostly over the fact that she’d had a drink that night, she wasn’t drunk, not by a long shot. She was perfectly capable of making decisions and saying no if she wanted to, but she didn’t, she said yes, she had asked him to kiss her and he would never have said no. Lupin also felt a little guilty because he’d broken so many rules and betrayed the trust Dumbledore had in him to do his job correctly, falling in love with seventh years, most certainly was not in the job description. 

He couldn’t help but remember the look she had given him though, it was dark and intense and something he’d seen before with a few women. He could easily have just acted on what he’d seen and taken her to bed with him, but again she was no where near ready for that, she probably wasn’t even aware she was giving him that look. He really needed to stop thinking on that night, especially when sitting at his desk with students in detention. He glanced up from his work and not a single one of them seemed to be interested in what he was thinking.

Lupin checked the time. ‘Okay, I think that’s long enough. You can all leave.’ He said and one by one the students began leaving his classroom, it was a full moon in a few nights and he needed to get some rest for it.

 

I’d been a little nervous for my Ancient Runes exam, but when I’d sat down with the few other seventh years to take it, I’d found the questions relatively easy. I tried to recall as much information as I could and wrote out everything I could remember reading. Most exams I just finished and let the time run out, but this one I worked right up until a few minutes before it was over, hoping that I’d done enough to pass.

I spent most of my time studying and trying to get ready for the last Quidditch match of the season, we’d been working hard all year and finally it was down to Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, we were probably the best teams that year and it had been a hard fought cup. 

Ancient Runes had been my last exam and finally it was over. I went straight to the Black Lake where Jack, David, Cassie, Jocelyne and Benji had been waiting for me to finish and decided to take one last swim, but this time everyone else decided to join me.

‘Might as well see what all the fuss is about before we leave.’ Jack shrugged and took his shirt off. Jocelyne wolf whistled and began getting ready as well.

We swam for around and hour and I had shown them the Giant Squid from a distance, the Grindylows nest and the puffapods. We had seen the lionfish and Merpeople and various other creatures that I’d discovered over the years, before it was time to get back to the castle.

‘Well, I now know why you were in there all the time.’ Jocelyne admitted. ‘It’s really beautiful.’

‘It really is something.’ Jack smiled at me, he gave me a look that was very familiar. I needed to look away before I gave him any indication that it was okay. We continued back to the common room to get cleaned up before heading for the Great Hall for dinner. I’d started work on my rights speech again and it was mostly just me working on it as everyone else was busy either writing out applications for jobs or still studying for any extra exams they needed to take. It was tough trying to come up with things to say on my own and I’d begun to think that it really wouldn’t make a difference to anyone anyway.

The last Quidditch match was about to commence and I’d gotten to the bottom of the stone steps leading out of the castle, before I realised I’d only picked up one of my arm guards. I handed my stuff to the other players so that I could race back up to the dormitory and grab it.

I was sprinting past the courtyard when I realised that no one was around, everyone was down at the pitch waiting to start the match. I ran down the steps to find Lupin rushing out of his classroom, presumably heading towards the pitch as well.

‘Hey!’ I called and jumped the last few steps. ‘I’d stay and chat but I’ve got a game to win.’ I laughed and began jogging away.

‘Angelina.’ He yelled after me. I turned, hoping whatever he had to say wouldn’t take long, he gestured towards another abandoned corridor and I quickly darted around the corner. I was panting a little. ‘I…Erm…’

'I don’t want to be rude, but I’m late as it is.’ I chuckled. ‘Is something wrong?’

‘No, I just realised that after this match you won’t be a student anymore, officially I mean, but I wanted to say that I’m not sure I can wait that long before asking your permission to kiss you again.’ He said it so fast I wasn’t sure I’d heard him correctly, but the pink flush in his cheeks told me I had.

‘How about a good luck kiss?’ I smiled and saw Lupin’s face light up. ‘It’ll have to be short and sweet though, I’ve got ten minutes to get changed and get out there.’

Lupin just laughed and held my hips, sending warm rushes through my stomach, before pressing his lips against mine, moving quickly, but smoothly around my mouth and making me moan a little as he pulled my hips gently towards his. He pulled away and rubbed his thumbs over the bone. I just looked up at his dark eyes and smiled.

‘Don’t take this the wrong way.’ I said and watched him frown. ‘But I’m going to run away as fast as I can towards the changing rooms. I enjoyed the kiss, I enjoyed the things you were doing… Again not running away from you because of anything other than the fact that I need to get to this game.’ I had begun to back away out of the corridor, watching Lupin realise what I was doing and laugh all the same.

‘Good luck.’ He said and smiled at me, leaning on his hand against the wall. 

I gave him one last smile and sprinted off towards the changing rooms, I quickly got changed and grabbed my broom, chasing the other players out the door and flying up to do a few laps of the pitch. I’d been showing off to the crowd before shaking hands with the Hufflepuff team and taking our positions.

The quaffle shot up in the air and the game had begun, I’d played my game the same way I always did, cutting out and intercepting, with the odd shot in here and there. It was far too close for far too long, only ten points dividing us at any one time, it would be the seekers that decided the game that was for sure. I’d narrowly avoided a bludger, flying straight into a Hufflepuff chaser and falling from my broom, I was exhausted and I could hear the crowd either jeering or shouting for me to get back on my broom. I swung my legs and missed on the first try, the second was more successful, it was just in time to fly around and jump up to catch the quaffle in the middle of a passing routine and distribute it to the other chaser, before joining up for another attack.

The game went back and forth and finally the crowd cheered louder than before, we all stopped and turned to see which seeker had gotten there first.

‘And the cup goes to Gryffindor!’ The commentator shouted. We cheered and the entire team gathered around to hold each other and celebrate the success.

At some point Hufflepuff had gathered around to applaud us as well and we shook hands with the other competitors, that was when I realised that, like I had for Darren, the two teams spread around me in a circle and cheered congratulating me on seven years hard work. The seven years felt heavy and I began crying, knowing that I would never have this again, I would never feel this way again, I was the only seventh year leaving from the two Quidditch teams and the whole school erupted with whistling and clapping and shouting, it felt like a performance.

I took a deep breath and threw my arm up as I jumped up on my broom and flew around the pitch catching as many hands as I could, before shooting straight up in the air, leaping off the handle, throwing my body back and flipping over catching my broom again, howling as I did. I began clapping as I flew back into the changing rooms with the other players, feeling the thrill and hoping the crying was over.

It was a party in Gryffindor Tower that night and the next day would be our last whole day at Hogwarts, before our real adventures began. I’d spent most of the night with Benji, singing away in the corner and Jocelyne had joined in at some point and continued to tell me how hot I was.

‘Oh shut up, you’re hotter than me.’ I said, giggling with her.

‘Angie, listen to me,’ She said, we weren’t quite drunk yet, but we were all well on our way. ‘I’m a good looking girl, I had to be to get a guy like Benji, but you, you’ve got Jack pining after you, that means you’re like super hot.’ I gave her look. ‘What?’

‘Jack?’

‘Yeah, oh come on, even you’re not that blind, he’s been in love with you since the Ball last year. I saw the way he looked at you.’ Jocelyne took another swing of her butterbeer. 

'Okay, everyone quiet!’ Jack shouted and the whole room turned to him. ‘I know we’re all enjoying ourselves and we’ve all had a drink, but before we lose all memory of the night, I’d like you all to turn your attention to two of my very best friends. Benji Meyers and Jocelyne McDermott!’ Jack gestured for me to get out of the way and I watched as Benji jumped down from the table and took a deep breath. I saw him pull a small box from his pocket, before getting down on one knee in front of Jocelyne.

‘Jocelyne, I love you so much,’ he couldn’t stop smiling and the whole common room was humming with excitement. ‘Will you do me the great honour of becoming my wife?’

Jocelyne made a sound I wasn’t sure I’d ever heard her make before, it was between a sob and a scream, she nodded and began crying as we all cheered for them. Benji placed the ring on her finger and kissed her deeply. 

As soon as she was done I went and hugged her immediately. Jack and David shook Benji’s hand as well as a few other students who were just as happy for them.

‘Oh my god.’ She kept repeating in my ear. ‘Oh my god, I’m getting married Angie.’

‘Yes you are.’ I smiled and pulled back. ‘You’re all grown up.’ I joked.

She laughed through her tears and kissed Benji again and the celebration resumed, continuing well into the night. Jocelyne and Benji had left the party early and no one dared go up for a couple of hours, just in case we walked in on something that we really did not want to see. 

 

The next morning we all trudged down to breakfast, feeling the dull ache pounding away in our heads. Jocelyne and Benji didn’t seem to be anything other than ecstatic.

‘It’s almost sickening watching you two right now.’ I mumbled into my tea.

‘Get over it.’ Jocelyne stuck her tongue out at me and Benji put his arm around her and smiled. ‘I’m happy and right now I’m exercising the right to not care if your head is killing you.’ I had to laugh at that one, but it hurt my head to do so. ‘You get to exercise the same right when you get engaged.’

‘Yeah, except by the time I get married you’ll be too old to drink excessively and it won’t be the same.’ Everyone laughed and held their heads immediately afterwards. ‘Screw it, I’m going back to bed for an hour.’ I said standing up and telling everyone I’d meet them at the lake in an hour’s time. I slowly dragged my body out of the Great Hall and up to the dormitory.

The feast came around quicker than we expected and we were all feeling much better and ready to say good bye once and for all.

‘…and now we say good bye to a generation of students who have worked hard for seven years,’ Dumbledore had already awarded the house cup to Gryffindor and I think it was safe to say we were all very inspired by his end of term speech. ‘They have faced great tests of courage, intellect and endurance, these tests came in many forms and many they did not expect. I am proud that each and every one of you passed with flying colours and I wish you luck for the future, may your endeavours continue to inspire and change the world, may your kindness and wisdom serve you well and remember that you will always have a home at Hogwarts.’

The Hall applauded and Jack and I looked at each other, leaping onto our seats and dramatically bowing, much to the amusement of the room. We could hear people cheering for another show and we laughed and sat down.

‘Ah yes,’ Dumbledore commented. ‘Mr Jack Rathborne and Miss Angie Lockwood, two of our finest students and as I hear it, two fine entertainers.’ Jack and I wondered where he was going with his comments. ‘Well, here is your stage. Why not leave us with something to remember you by?’ The whole school turned to Jack and I and we could not have looked any more like rabbits in headlights. 

‘One more?’ I asked Jack and his face changed in seconds to his cheeky smile.

He leaped up onto the table, striding towards the first confidently. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, witches and wizards of Hogwarts!’ The school began cheering as Jack dropped his robe off, loosened his tie and rolled up his sleeves, I stood up and placed my own robe over my seat and began rolling up my sleeves, I caught Lupin’s eye briefly and he was smiling widely at me, it gave me a surge of confidence as I jumped up onto the table as well. ‘One more show!’ Jack boomed and the Hall erupted with cheers.

I sent ice slinking towards Jack, it caught his legs and began lifting him higher and higher until he jumped off and I manipulated it so that he would skate all around the Hall before stopping right in front of me. I changed into my wolf form and jumped over the students just next to me, running towards the teachers table and jumping up onto the icy stairs that Jack had sent my way, I was lifted high above the teachers and I could hear the students cheering and reacting the show the way we hoped. 

Jack sent an ice dragon to meet me at the top of the stairs and it breathed blue fire. I ran straight at it and landed on the stone steps, changing back into my human form and swiping my wand across me as various creatures began emerging from the blue fire below me. Jack had done the same with his own blue fire and we sent the creatures up in the air to dance with one another, soon the creatures began to evaporate and Jack had come to join me on the steps. We gave each other a look and thrusted our wands towards the doors, where a great roar came from just outside. The whole school looked towards the door and went silent. There was a great howl not long after and Jack and I looked at each other, holding each other’s hand getting excited.

‘We did it.’ He said and we went back to watching the door, our wands commanding the creatures to show themselves. 

A huge blue fiery wolf came wandering around the corner and a blue fiery lion followed, Jack and I gave each other a high five and took positions a little further apart. I was just in front of Lupin and getting very excited. Jack and I gave each other one last look, before we made the lion roar and the wolf howl, they began charging towards us and we forced them to sprint harder until they were only inches from our faces. We threw our arms out destroying the creatures and letting the flames evaporate as they landed on our skin. 

There was a moment’s pause before the whole room shook with the cheers, Jack and I ran towards each other and hugged each other tightly, before pulling away and taking our bows to both the students and the teachers. I caught Lupin’s eye once again and he gave me a wink as he and every other teacher stood to applaud us.

‘Great show Angie.’ Jack said as I turned away from Lupin. He had a slightly darker look, as if he was about to kiss me. I just turned and waved to the school once again. Jack and I took our seats and the feast began.

Jack had avoided my eye for the first few minutes and I didn’t dare look at Lupin. We ate and we drank and we celebrated in our achievements for the longest time, before it was time to leave. Everyone headed to the common room, but I desperately wanted to see Lupin before I left first thing in the morning. Jack had cornered me before I could get away.

‘Hey,’ He said smiling and running his hand through his hair. ‘Where are you going?’

‘No where.’ I lied. ‘Good show tonight, probably one of the best.’

‘Yeah, it was great.’ Jack laughed. ‘Look, I wanted to ask, I think I was getting mixed signals from you this year and I thought I’d take a chance and ask if during the summer you wanted to get together for a drink and maybe give us another go?’

‘You mean like a relationship?’ I asked, feeling a little uncomfortable.

‘Well yeah, I think I’ve made my feelings clear in the past and I know that we had a great time last year. So what do you think? Do you want to?’

‘Erm… I… I have the rights campaign you know and I’m going to Bulgaria for a few weeks, maybe a few months.’ I said and I could see his face going from hopeful to disappointed. ‘And you’re training to be a Healer… I just don’t know how much time we would get to spend with each other, you know. I don’t want you… Waiting for someone that might be gone for months at a time.’

‘Oh.’ Jack said, plain and simply. ‘Yeah, I guess that makes sense… Well we could meet up when you get back? Maybe at Christmas? And you’ll have to come back for the wedding, whenever that happens.’

‘Yeah, yeah of course, I’ll see you for the wedding, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.’ I gave Jack a frown. ‘I just thought we didn’t work especially well last time.’ I hated lying and dancing around the subject with Jack, he was possibly my closest friend and he deserved better than my weak excuses. ‘I just don’t want to disappoint you again, that’s all. I’m not really ready, you know?’ Jack just sighed and nodded.

‘I understand.’ He gave a tight smile. ‘I really do, I’ll wait.’ He said and went to talk to a sixth year student he had been talking to before he came to talk to me. I desperately needed to get out of there. I left the common room and walked as fast as I could towards Lupin’s office.

I knocked on the door and was suddenly aware I was panting heavily. There was no answer, I knocked again and heard another door open from below. Lupin appeared under the stairs. ‘Angelina?’ He said seeing me. ‘Are you okay?’ I jogged down the stairs to meet him. He was in just a grey shirt and his usual trousers.

‘Jack just asked me out.’ I said, still trying to catch my breath. 

‘And what did you say?’ It was more an accusation than an actual question.

‘I made some rubbish excuse that I was going away so I wouldn’t have time for a relationship and that we didn’t work last year so I didn’t want to waste his time.’ I began panicking a little and Lupin just held me close.

‘It’s okay, there’s no need to panic.’ It was almost a chuckle. ‘I sort of expected this to happen, but not so soon.’

‘What?’ I pulled away and looked at him.

Lupin sighed and gestured for me to go into the door he had appeared from. It was his quarters, the room was large and had a huge unmade four poster bed at the far side, with books lining nearly every wall and a wardrobe half open and with a few clothes falling out of it. There was an opened whiskey bottle with a glass half full on the table, Lupin grabbed his wand and waved it at the wardrobe and the bed, sending his clothes back into the wardrobe and making the bed up, he waved it again and the books that were piled up on the set of drawers or on the floor were sent back to the shelves.

‘I don’t often have company.’ He shrugged. ‘Actually, I’ve never had company in here.’ He gestured for me to take a seat at the dark wooden table. ‘Whiskey?’ I nodded as he already began pouring me a glass. I sipped the warm sweet liquid and watched Lupin sit opposite me and do the same. ‘I saw the look Jack gave you this evening.’ Lupin said and I immediately stared a hole into my glass. ‘Can I take that to mean you saw it too?’

‘Yeah.’ I said quietly, I suddenly felt like I was being told off.

‘You’re eighteen years old Angelina.’ He almost laughed. ‘You can make any decision you want, you’re no longer a student at Hogwarts so I am no longer your teacher. I couldn’t do this last year, but I’m going to do it now.’

‘Do what?’

Lupin swallowed thickly and for the first time I could see a nervousness about it. ‘I’m going to ask you to choose me.’ He said and I just looked at him and blinked. ‘I want you to choose me over Jack and over everyone else. I feel completely undeserving and entirely unworthy of your affections… You make me feel like I could be better and I can’t stand seeing you with anyone else. I couldn’t ask you to be with me last year for every reason under the sun, but I can now and I’m asking you to-‘

‘Yes.’ I said suddenly and Lupin just watched me. ‘Yes.’ I said again. ‘I still don’t understand this, but I know the answer to that question is yes.’

‘Yes?’ Lupin made sure he heard you correctly. ‘You’re saying yes?’

‘I’m saying yes,’ I nodded. ‘Yes, I’ll choose you over everyone else.’ I could feel my cheeks burning red, but Lupin didn’t seem to care. He just smiled, the same way Jocelyne and Benji had smiled the night before. ‘What about you?’ Lupin frowned. ‘Will you… You know, choose me? Over everyone else?’

Lupin just smiled and almost chuckled, shaking his head a little. He stood up and took my hand to stand with him. He slid one hand around my waist and the other guided my face to look at his dark eyes. ‘I already chose you.’ He whispered and kissed me with all the intensity in the world. It was like we were drowning and kissing each other, exploring each other was the only thing that kept us alive; that was until Lupin stopped abruptly. ‘Sorry, I need to stop.’ He leaned against me, trying to get his breath back.

‘Did I… Did I do something wrong?’ I asked, hoping I hadn’t offended him in some way.

Lupin just laughed. ‘No, no and that’s the problem.’ I just frowned at him. ‘You didn’t do anything wrong.’ He said seeing my confusion. ‘But I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself wanting… Well, more, for much longer.’

It took me a moment to realise what he was saying, I pulled away from him a little. ‘Oh, right… Erm I’m not-‘

‘It’s fine, I know you’re not ready.’ Lupin laughed and waved his hand. ‘I’m not asking... I mean I’m not pushing for anything… I just enjoy your company.’ We both felt a little awkward.

‘Have you… Never mind.’ I said as we sat back down.

‘Have I what?’ Lupin frowned.

‘Doesn’t matter.’ I said and sipped my whiskey again.

‘What is it?’ Lupin smiled. ‘You can ask me anything, I’m not your teacher anymore remember, there’s no more inappropriate questions.’

I thought for a moment, before deciding to take the plunge. ‘Have you had sex before?’ I was definitely beetroot coloured, it was possibly the most humiliating question I’d ever asked Lupin and he was just watching me with a smile on his face.

‘Yes I have.’ He answered and I looked at him. ‘Why are you asking?’

‘Because, I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing and to be honest I don’t just mean when it comes to sex and relationship stuff, but when it comes to life in general. I’ve always worked on impulse, if I wanted to go swimming in the black lake, that’s what I did, if I wanted to go exploring in the forest, I went and did that and if I wanted to work that’s what I’d do, because I knew at the end of it I’d pass the test or exam or whatever essay I had to get where I wanted to go and for the first time in my life, I have no idea what I’m doing, I know what I want, but I don’t know what the result is. It’s not like there’s an exam to take at the end and certainly not one I’d pass.’ I finished and Lupin just gave me a blank look.

He didn’t speak for a moment, instead just replaying what I’d said. ‘Okay… In terms of the physical aspects of a relationship, don’t worry. I’m not going to make you do anything you’re not ready for or comfortable with, I’m not that sort of person and the second you feel ready, we’ll go as slow as you want, we’ll stop if you want to stop and that’s okay. You need to trust that I would never hurt you.’ I nodded, satisfied that Lupin knew what he was doing. ‘In terms of everything else, working on impulse has gotten you an Order of Merlin First Class and a Triwizard Cup. I think if you continue to make the choices that will give you the most pleasure, you will find yourself in the most amazing places. You’re a very talented individual and on the off chance you need anyone’s help, you’ve got that book to write in and ask for it… You don’t need to worry about a thing.’ I suddenly remembered something Lupin had said to me during one of our chats in his office.

‘You make it seem petty.’ I chuckled. ‘You said the man who’s worth my time would make all my doubts seem petty.’ Lupin smiled bashfully.

‘Is that what I said?’

‘Oh I remember vividly.’ I chuckled. 

Lupin just watched me for a moment. ‘Well, then.’ Lupin sat back and smiled, sipping his whiskey.

‘Jocelyne and Benji got engaged yesterday.’ I said, a little out of the blue.

‘Is that why they were the only seventh years not suffering with a hangover this morning?’ Lupin asked, suspiciously. I nodded and laughed.

‘Jocelyne made a weird noise when Benji asked, it was half way between a pig and dragon.’ We both laughed at the thought. ‘They're so happy.’

Lupin lifted his glass. ‘To Jocelyne and Benji.’ He said and I smiled raising my own glass and tapping Lupin’s.

‘To Jocelyne and Benji.’ I agreed and we drank what was left in our glasses. I looked around Lupin’s quarters. ‘So this is your bedroom huh?’

Lupin looked at me and raised his eyebrows, playing with the whiskey bottle slightly. 

‘Not what I expected I’ll be honest.’ I could see Lupin about to ask the question. ‘Not that I’ve imagined your bedroom.’

‘Sure.’ He chuckled and poured another two glasses of whiskey. 

‘I haven't!’

‘Okay.’ He was still unconvinced. 

‘Whatever.’ I rolled my eyes and sipped the whiskey again. ‘Wait, have you imagined mine?’ Lupin drank a mouthful of whiskey and gave a guilty look. ‘You totally have.’ I chuckled.

‘You really think I’m that crude?’

‘Well, you did kiss me while I was technically still a student.’ 

‘We agreed that you “technically” weren’t.’ Lupin defended, still laughing.

‘True.’ I nodded. ‘And now I’m simply a student of the world, like everyone else.’

‘Welcome to the not so exclusive club.’ Lupin said sarcastically, he checked his watch. ‘It’s getting late.’ He noted.

‘You want me to leave?’ I asked and Lupin gave another dark look.

‘No, but I think it’s best that you get back before anyone realises you’re here.’ Lupin said sadly. ‘I’ll see you at the rights campaign anyway.’

‘Not tomorrow?’ I frowned.

‘I’ll be wandering around, but I won’t specifically be seeing you I’m afraid.’

I nodded in understanding. ‘Fair enough.’ I stood up and felt Lupin do the same behind me. ‘Do I get a goodbye kiss?’ I asked, cheekily and it made Lupin laugh.

‘Always.’ Much more confidently, Lupin slid his hands around my waist and pressed a kiss to my lips, he moaned into me I felt him pulling me closer, before stopping again. ‘Sorry.’ He whispered and laughed a little.

‘Out of interest, what would happen if you didn’t stop?’ I asked and watched a smile form on Lupin’s face.

‘Well, I would tell you, in detail, but I’m afraid there just isn’t enough time for that.’ He tried to put a serious face on, but I couldn’t help but laugh at him.

‘Okay, I’m leaving.’ I held my hands up and turned towards the door and opened it. ‘You watch me when I leave don’t you? I mean you check me out?’ I began backing away and watched Lupin’s cheeky grin appear again.

‘It’s the only chance I get without the risk of getting caught.’ He winked and I just snorted and turned away to leave, giving him one last look before I left his classroom for the last time.


	8. John Smith

The train journey home had been depressing, it was sad and it was every bit as painful as we all imagined it to be. No one said much for the first hour or so, until conversation and laughter at old memories broke out. I wasn’t sure who began sharing first, but we all took it in turns to tell our favourite stories from each year of Hogwarts until we reached the station where I was surprised to find, not just my parents, but Darren as well waiting for me.

I ran up to Darren and hugged him immediately. ‘Darren! I’ve missed you! How’s Japan?’

‘It’s great!’ He said pulling away. ‘It’s tough, really good Quidditch over there though.’ He smiled his winning smile and I couldn’t help but hug him again. ‘I heard you won the house cup and put on a show at the feast. Congratulations.’

‘Yeah, I mean, it was really weird.’ I said and we went to collect my things. ‘Dumbledore made his speech and stuff and then Jack and I couldn’t resist standing up and bowing. He just sort of asked us to do it, it was good fun though.’

‘Wish I could’ve been there.’ Darren put his arm around me and kissed my head teasing me a little. I saw everyone else with their families and we gathered to say our goodbyes and promise that we’d meet up when we could during the summer.

‘Don’t forget about the campaign.’ I said.

‘And the wedding.’ Jocelyne said. ‘Haven’t got a date yet, but keep an eye out for the owl.’

‘You’ll have to send mine and Angie’s to Bulgaria.’ David laughed.

‘That’s fine, we’ll find you both.’ Benji assured us.

‘We’ll all see each other soon.’ Jack laughed. ‘We’re saying goodbye as if it’s the end of the world.’

‘It is the end of the world Jack.’ I said and everyone just laughed.

‘It kind of feels that way though.’ Jocelyne added, when everyone calmed down. ‘Doesn’t it?’

‘Maybe a little.’ Jack admitted.

We all stood in silence for a moment.

‘David!’ A woman called. We turned to see his parents waiting for him.

‘I guess it’s time to go.’ David said. ‘Can’t stand here forever.’ We all hugged him and said goodbye and I remembered seeing David for the first time back in first year, when his parents had gotten lost and my father and I had gone to help them.

‘Yeah, I’d better go as well.’ Jack said and hugged everyone, bounding off towards his family.

‘What did you say to Jack last night?’ Jocelyne asked.

I just shook my head. ‘I’ll tell you all about it when I figure it out.’

‘He loves you Angie.’ Benji said.

‘I know, problem is…’

‘You don’t love him in the same way.’ Benji guessed and I nodded. ‘Well, he’s a man, tell him the truth, that you’re-’

‘Jocelyne, Benji.’ It was Benji’s parents calling them. They began backing away.

‘Just tell him you’re in love with someone else.’ Benji called.

‘What does that mean?’ I called back.

‘Figure it out.’ Jocelyne said, finally and I was left standing alone on the platform. 

Darren came and placed his hand on my shoulder. ‘Ready to go?’ He asked and I nodded. ‘You okay?’

‘Yeah… Just trying to figure stuff out.’ I said and hugged my parents finally and we went home for the last time from platform nine and three quarters.

 

The first couple of days I’d spent with Darren, flying around in the back garden, we’d both gotten better, but Darren looked like a real player. We eventually sat at the table in the garden and talked about everything under the sun, before the unexpected question came up.

‘So, what did you tell Jack in the end?’ Darren asked, throwing me another chocolate frog. I frowned at him. ‘He’s been in love with you since forever, you obviously told him something to keep him from chasing after you. I had the same thing with Katie.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, but I just didn’t feel that way about her.’ Darren shrugged. ‘I told her that I loved her in a different way, she’s my best friend and always will be, but I just can’t see myself in a relationship with her.’

‘What did she say?’ I glanced at the card in my chocolate frog packet.

‘She was upset, everyone told me I shouldn’t have been so harsh, but they weren’t there. Katie appreciated the truth, said it saved her from waiting for something that just wasn’t going to come. She’s found someone else though, he’s the assistant coach at the Falcons, nice guy.’

I thought for a moment. ‘I thought that guy was married?’ I asked.

‘Widowed.’ Darren said. ‘His wife died about eight years ago in an accident, she was climbing mountains in the Alps and stumbled upon a poisonous plant that had her in hospital for days, they didn’t have a cure in those days and she died with him by her side.’

‘That’s awful.’

‘It is.’ Darren nodded. ‘But he’s happy with Katie, that’s all that matters… He’s older than her as well, by about fifteen years, but no one’s judging so I say go for it.’

‘Good for her.’ I smiled and thought about Katie for a moment. I guess I kind of knew she liked Darren, they got on really well when I was at school with them, so it didn’t seem like that much of a stretch.

‘So, who is the guy?’ Darren threw his wrapper at me and I laughed.

‘What makes you think there’s a guy?’ I threw it back.

‘Because I’m your brother and I know you.’ I shook my head laughing. ‘Come on who is it? I’m not going to judge you.’

‘You wouldn’t believe me.’ I shook my head again.

‘Try me, or better yet, let me guess?’ Darren looked very confident in himself so I nodded and let him go for it. ‘If I get it on the first guess you owe me a butterbeer. Deal?’

‘Sure.’ I shook his hand and Darren sat back watching me. 

‘Lupin.’ He said and my face dropped. ‘One butterbeer for me.’ 

Darren laughed a little, but I didn’t feel much like laughing.

‘How did you know?’ I asked, still not seeing what was so funny.

‘Because, I’m your brother and I’m not as stupid as I look.’ He said simply. ‘Don’t get me wrong, you both hide your feelings well-‘

‘You’ve been talking to Clara haven’t you?’

‘Yeah.’ Darren said, just admitting to it rather than trying to come up with an excuse. ‘I sent her an owl on her birthday and we’ve been talking for a while about you two.’ I groaned and slumped further down in my chair. ‘I haven’t told mum and dad and I’m not sure if Remus knows if I know, but why should any of that have any impact on you? If you love him then you love him and get over the fact that he was your teacher for seven years.’ Darren winked.

‘That’s not helpful.’ I mumbled.

‘She said you guys talked about it a little.’ Darren just continued talking. ‘You going to give it a go or what?’

‘I don’t know, it’s complicated.’ I sighed. ‘I don’t really know how I feel and he’s… Patient.’ I chuckled. ‘He’s kind and he makes me laugh, makes me feel good about myself, you know?’

‘You slept with him yet?’

‘Darren!’ I exclaimed.

‘So that’s a no?’

‘In case you’ve missed out, I have only just recently finished my time at school, you think I snuck into his quarters the morning I left and said “hey let’s have a quickie”?’ 

Darren paused for a moment. ‘Wow, you’re really into him.’

‘Shut up.’

‘No seriously.’ Darren laughed. ‘You’ve got it bad for Lupin and I hear from Clara that he’s got it bad for you… Please tell me you’ve at least kissed him?’ I felt my cheeks burn red and Darren laughed even louder. ‘So that’s a yes then. What, didn’t you like it?’

‘Okay, I draw the line at describing the kissing to you.’ I stood my ground.

Darren held his hands up in defeat. ‘Fair enough. So, you’ve kissed him, more than once by the sounds of it, you obviously enjoyed it, you haven’t slept together yet, well done for keeping your virginity past Hogwarts by the way, you’ve both talked about your feelings for each other, so why are you not bragging about the fact you’ve found someone you like enough to smile every time his name is said?’

‘I don’t-‘

‘You do.’

‘No, I-‘

‘No, you really do.’

I sat back and gave up the argument. ‘I guess I’m scared.’ I admitted. ‘I’m scared, because I can’t understand this, for the first time, I just don’t know what this is or how to go about finding out.’

Darren threw me another chocolate frog. ‘That’s how you know it’s special. If you can’t give it a word or describe the way you feel in less than a paragraph, then it’s special and you should keep a hold of it until the very end.’

I just smiled at my brother as we heard the front door shutting and gave each other a guilty look as our parents came to find us in the garden.

‘Every time!’ My mother had yelled and walked away from us.

‘You’re both adults now, this is needs to stop.’ My father said, he had a small smile on his face. ‘Clean up the mess and you’d best eat all of your dinner.’

We promised we would and began cleaning up the wrappers from the table and the ground, even doing the dishes after dinner to apologise for it, but it was nice, it was like old times.

 

I’d gone to bed and opened the book Lupin had gotten me for my birthday. I flicked to the back to write him a letter, only find the back cover was full of words already.

Angelina,

I forgot to mention that the back cover was also charmed, I’ve got the other parchment that will let me know if you’ve gotten my message, the writing will disappear. Just tap the cover and say ‘message read’ and the message will disappear, write on it and I’ll get your message instantly.

I hope you got home safe and I hope you’re not missing the castle too much, it won’t be the same without you here and I’ll miss our chats in my office (among other things), but I hope you come and visit when you can. There was talk between myself, Snape and McGonagall to ask you to come back and do some guest lectures at some point in the year, you’ll probably receive an owl about it at some point over the summer, I do hope you come back for them as it could be some of the only times I get to see you and spend time with you.

I’ll be at the campaign speech and I’ll keep my fingers crossed for this being the one, but if it isn’t, that’s okay, it’s not the end of the world. The work has just begun and your work in Bulgaria could lead to something special, just be sure to be careful out there.

Another reason I’m writing is to say that if you really wanted to, the full moon is a couple of nights after the campaign speech, Clara has said she is willing to show you the transformation if you still want her too, just let her know as soon as you can so she can look into the locked rooms at St Mungo’s. But please remember your promise to me, you watch from your animagus form only, there is no need to put yourself in any unnecessary risk.

I hope you’re okay.

Yours

Remus.

I smiled, reading over the letter a few times, writing a letter to Clara as I did, letting her know that I’d work to her terms. I’d rather hoped Lupin would have trusted me enough to let me see his, but this was what he wanted, so this is what would happen.

I finished the letter and as far as I could see it sent fine. I brought my wand out and tapped the cover. ‘Message read.’ I said and the writing began to fade and I began writing my own letter to Lupin.

Remus,

I’d say you’ve grown rather attached to me, to give me a book that meant I could communicate with you instantly, not very Professor-like of you, but then again I like that. 

Of course I’ll come back, I’ll come back even if it’s just to see you. I’ll miss our chats as well and I’ll definitely miss the other things, I hope we can have a drink after the campaign speech, mum says she’s happy for everyone to come back to the house for a while and hang out and you could finally see my bedroom, you know because you’ve imagined it so often. If not, it’s fine.

By the way, Darren knows about us and apparently has done since Clara’s birthday. He sent an owl and they got to talking after a while and we came up. Darren doesn’t seem to care much, he’s says if I’m happy then that’s all that matters, I haven’t told anyone else though. But Benji and Jocelyne know that I don’t like Jack in that way and they must’ve guessed it was someone else. Anyway…

I’ve written to Clara just now to say I was happy to work on her terms and that I’d keep my distance in my animagus form. I’d rather do this with you, but I understand that you don’t want me to see that part of you and that’s okay.

Anyway, I’m just about to go to sleep, so sweet dreams.

Angelina

P.S. I like that you put yours at the end of your letter.

I waited a moment or two and just as I’d gotten comfortable in bed and curled up to sleep, the writing disappeared. He’d read the message.

I have grown attached to you, very attached, so attached that I’m already imagining what you could have planned in your mysterious bedroom.

If Darren knows and approves, then please tell him I’m grateful and if I should hurt you in any way, I’ll expect him to come knocking and I can only imagine the torture involved if that happens. I’ll be having a word with Clara, though I think we both know it’ll hardly make a difference, she has a mind of her own, she always has.

Thank you for understanding. Let me know how it goes as soon as you can and if you want me to come and see you to explain anything or just for someone to be there for you.

You wrote ‘yours’ first and I told you that I chose you over everyone else, that makes me yours entirely.

Yours

Remus

‘Message read.’ I closed the book and smiled as I let my eyes close and could almost imagine him next to me.

The next week I’d spent working on my speech, it was boring and exhausting, trying to come up with new things to say wasn’t easy, but Darren was always on hand to give me a little advice where he could. I’d managed to get the main points in there, but it ended up more like a lecture than a speech.

‘Why don’t you mention Doris and Julian?’ Darren asked, sliding me a sandwich and making a cup of tea.

I’d thought about it, but I still hadn’t read the note they left behind, it didn't feel right to talk about something I actually had no real concept of. The speech was the next day and I was so nervous for it, this had always been easier when I had four other people helping me write it. 

‘I’ll think about it.’ I said and Darren sat down to read over what I had. I ate my sandwich in silence, writing a letter to Jack as I did. I’d told him I looked forward to seeing him at the speech and if he was enjoying his Healer training so far. I’d been trying to learn a little Bulgarian, enough to get me by, but apparently lots of them spoke English so it might not have been necessary. I’d missed Jack, I missed the jokes and the planning we used to do for the next year of Hogwarts.

‘Angie,’ Darren said and gave me a strange look.

‘What? What’s wrong with it?’ I said, panicking. ‘I haven’t had a lot of help with it, I’ve been working on my own mostly.’

‘It’s really good.’ He said, quietly and I realised the strange look he had, was him holding back tears. ‘It’s really, really good.’

‘Really?’

Darren just nodded and handed me the cue cards back. ‘Just believe in what you say and you’ll have the crowd in tears.’ He said, smiling.

So that’s what I did, I put my smart clothes on, rolling my blazer sleeves up and keeping my glasses and cue cards on hand, I picked up my draft of my book and took a breath. For some reason I was more nervous for this speech than any other, I had gone straight to the ministry first thing in the morning, before anyone else was up and it did nothing for my nerves.

I’d been asked to advise on a situation involving a group of werewolves targeting wizard’s in the north of Scotland, the problem was I had no real idea what I was doing. I’d given my best advice, that these people are obviously well aware that they were putting people at risk, so treating them like every other dark wizard the Aurors came across was probably the best course of action.

Once the meeting was over I made my way down to the campaign stage, it had been moved to a slightly bigger room next to the court rooms and it had an air of professionalism the old stage didn’t. I checked my watch and it was just about time for me to go. I could see Argus just off to the side, taking notes as he normally did. I shook his hand and we watched the speaker, thinking hard on what she was talking about.

‘What’s in the packet?’ He asked causally pointing to my book draft. I looked down before remembering I had it.

‘Oh, it’s a draft of my book,’ I could feel myself going a little red. ‘I was actually wondering if you could give it a read and tell me what you think? It might need a little work, but I just wanted a professional opinion you know?’

‘Of course I’ll read it Angie.’ Argus smiled. ‘I’ll send it back at the end of the week with my notes.’

‘Thank you.’ 

I was introduced and I strode up to the podium, a slightly louder applause echoed for me when I did and I took a deep breath, got my cards sorted and slipped my glasses on. The room was quiet and I could barely see the crowd, the light was so bright, I preferred it that way, it meant I didn’t have to watch the faces of people disagreeing or walking out.

‘I woke up this morning and I looked out at the view, my secluded cottage sits in the middle of a vast field that stretches for about a mile in every direction, the morning sun glides over the field and it’s incredibly beautiful. I woke up aching in my joints, the pain in my back was unbearable, recently broken. Now you’d think that someone would have heard me screaming while I rolled out of bed, but no one lives with me, I live alone, I live in solitude and there is no one there to help me when I get sick. So I drag my body down the stairs, falling down the occasional step and I’m fairly sure tomorrow I will wake up with more bruises than I can count, my body hurts, it aches, all I want is to go to sleep for the rest of the day and hope I wake up another day feeling better, but I probably won’t.’ 

I swallowed and flicked to the next card, seeing what notes I’d had.

‘Usually people wake up, they take a shower and make breakfast and get ready for the day in whatever order they like. But not me, when I wake up, it’s because I’ve been forced to by my nightmares, by the thought of my own imagination showing me images that are truly horrifying, the problem is I have no real way of knowing if those images are real or fake, no way of telling the difference between a dream and a memory replaying itself over and over again, until I wake up. So I drag my body downstairs, I wrap a blanket that I’ve been keeping warm all night around my frail body and I wait, for just a few minutes for the ringing in my ears to subside, I wait for the blood to stop rushing through my heart and I wait to find out what kind of night it’s been. I don’t dare sit down just yet, if I do, I might not get back up, I might not have the strength. I go outside and let the sun graze my face, I let it burn my pale skin, I let it hurt me because burning in the sun for a few minutes makes me feel real, it makes me feel like what I am. Human. 

‘We all know the feeling, the one where we feel like all hope is lost and like you will be alone forever, with no one to care for you. The reality is that there will always be someone somewhere that will care for you if you ask for it, it’s what the Healers at St Mungo’s do, they care where no one else will. The problem I have is that they struggle to care about me, they struggle because they don’t understand me. They don’t know the pain I have, they don’t know the loneliness I have cocooned myself in, this life was thrust upon me, but I chose the solitude I built for myself. I chose to live in a cottage that is now in need of desperate repair, I never quite know if this will be the last night the roof stays up, one bad storm and I’ll be out of a home. I never quite know if I’ll be able to eat that day, I don’t have a job, no one will hire me, no one wants to be associated with me. 

‘I could end it all, but no one would find the body for weeks, no one comes near my cottage, not for any reason, not even the friends I once had come by to see if I’m okay. I don’t get letters because the owls won’t go near my home at night, in fact all manner of wildlife and friendly creature, stay away from my cottage, they do so because of the monster that lives there once a month. I go back inside after letting the sun burn me for a while, I have just enough energy to take a shower, the next problem I face is if the water will run hot or cold, it seems today it was cold. I was freezing when I stepped out, but a part of me didn’t care, maybe I should just stay under the icy water and let my body give up the fight. Maybe, but then again I remember the body won’t be found for weeks and I play the same conversation out in my head over and over again, no conclusion in sight.

‘It takes a while and again I wrap the blanket around my body, I find some clothes that almost look good enough to be second hand, I know I’ll have to leave my house today, I know I’ll have to rummage around my home to find any spare change I can, probably the last I have, and go into town to get food. I might be able to buy a bar of chocolate that I’ll make last days if I want to. I find the right change to the knut, but no more. It’s already the afternoon and my stomach hurts I’m so hungry, I haven’t eaten for three days and I’m barely able to survive like this, but I do survive, I make it so that I have a fighting chance.

‘I finally get into town and the shops are almost closed, I move as fast as I can into the cheapest shop I can find, I’ve gotten very good at maths, I can calculate in seconds whether I’ll be able to afford more than a single chocolate bar and today I can, today I can spread my my money to afford just a little more, the shopkeeper might even offer me a bag. I wrap my thick coat around my body and try to ignore the stares I get from people, commenting that I must be homeless and why didn’t I just find an alleyway to curl up and die in. I wish it was that easy, but that could take a long time and I might not get that far before danger arises.

‘I get out of the shop and see people rushing home from their days, chatting to their partners and telling each other about the stressful days they’ve had. I sit on a bench, trying to regain some energy to go home again. I take out the smaller chocolate I bought and make the square last as long as possible, I already feel better. I see a woman dropping one of her books as she leaves the book store and with more energy than I have, I pick it up for her, she thanks me and it looks like she might struggle again and even though I could barely carry myself through the marketplace, I offer to help her. She doesn’t know me and has every right to tell me to leave her alone, but she sees that I’m just trying to be kind and asks if I can carry a few of the books to the end of road so she can apparate home, we make idle chit chat and I try not to give too much away, but for a while it’s nice, just talking to another human being about absolutely nothing. Hearing another person talk about their life about the stress she was facing at work, that she hates her boss and she wonders if she sees her parents enough, she tells me that she’s pretty sure her partner is cheating on her with a woman he works with and asks me for my advice, I have none. I just tell her she should do what makes her happy.

‘We get to the end of the road and already she knows that I went to Hogwarts and gained O in six of my NEWTs, she gives me a look that says she didn’t believe me. I told her the NEWTs weren’t in especially useful subjects which was a lie, I’m qualified enough to be a Healer or an Auror or anything I wanted to be, but I tell her one of them was in Muggle Studies and she laughs. I hand her back her books and she asks my name, I lie and make up some plain, generic name that she’ll never remember. She apparates away and I fall against the wall behind me, reaching in my pocket for another piece of chocolate, just enough to get me home and back into bed. I needed to rest, I needed to sleep, I need to prepare the field around my cottage, the full moon is two weeks away and I need to make sure the people who live well over a mile away are safe from the monster who lives in the cottage.’

I took a moment and shuffled my cards again, I heard someone near to the front say thank you and saw that she had been given a handkerchief by the man sitting next to her.

‘I’m not a werewolf, I don’t feel any of those things. I have a good life, I have a home and I can eat every day and not have to worry about whether I won’t be able to afford hot water. I don’t live in poverty, I don’t live in an abundance of wealth, but compared to the werewolf community I live in riches. I have friends, I don’t need to worry about not being able to make new ones or keep up with old ones. When I get sick, my father is forcing himself to my bedside and constantly taking my temperature, making sure I’m drinking enough water.’ There was a small murmur of amusement. ‘The story I just told you came from a variety of different stories I’ve heard from werewolves who struggle to make ends meet. They can’t find jobs because employers don’t want to hire someone who could kill them, well then I suggest you don’t hire anyone that can carry a wand. Werewolves are real people, with real feelings and aches and pains and the ones I’ve met have kindness pouring out of them by the bucket load. They reach the age of thirty and they already feel eighty, their bodies fail them, they can’t even turn to the Healers of St Mungo’s because they live in fear that they will not be able to help them or worse they won’t want to.

‘This was the reason for Lockwood’s Wolfsbane, to give these people the energy and the will to be able to find jobs, to provide for themselves the same as we all do. The potion was designed ensure they could live without pain, without aches and without fear. All these people want to do is help and contribute to the society they live in. I’m not asking to give the wolf anything, I’m asking for us to do something for the human. These people are qualified to work as Healers, they are qualified and probably more durable to work as Aurors, they know pain, they know their limits and they know how to push them. I fail to see why we aren’t taking advantage of their skills, it makes no sense for us to not extend our compassion to these people. They are survivors, they are strong and without doubt they will endure a huge amount of punishment, I’m not telling you to use and abuse them, I’m asking you to give them a chance to prove themselves and if they need one night a month off… Take it out of their holidays, I’m sure they won’t mind. Thank you.’ I took off my glasses and collected my cards as the crowd erupted in cheers, I still couldn’t quite see how many people there were watching, but it sounded like a lot.

I nodded and headed off towards Argus who was fighting back tears. ‘Good job Angie.’ He said and shook my hand as I walked up to him.

‘Thanks.’ I breathed a sigh of relief that it was over. ‘You think it made a difference?’

‘Oh I’d say so.’ Argus gave me a wink and I just smiled, leaving him to work. I entered a room and took my seat with the rest of the speakers in a box just off to the side and looked around the room. I could see hundreds of people watching and suddenly felt my heart groan, the minister was sitting with a small council at the far end of the room and I wondered what his reaction had been to my speech.

I looked down to the floor and could see where Darren, Lupin, Clara, Alice, Alfred, Jack, Jocelyne, Benji and David sat. There were two empty seats where my parents had sat, but I knew they had to work so I didn’t mind that I wouldn’t see them straight afterwards. Everyone was going back to my house for a drink and that was when I caught sight of James Potter entering the room, he shook hands with Lupin and sat down. I could see them having a quiet conversation and James sighing with disappointment, Lupin pointed up to where I was sitting and James mouthed an apology. I jokingly looked at my watch and made a thing of his time keeping, before smiling and winking, letting him know it was fine.

I listened to the rest of the speakers and some of them seemed very nervous and others were seasoned speakers, finding it easy to talk. I’d spotted a man sitting at the very back of the floor level seating, he looked worn and tired, but dressed in what looked like his smartest clothes. He had a tie that he had tried to hide the hole in and a grey jacket that again had a few patches on it where he had torn it, he sat trying to stay awake and moved like he was in constant pain. I watched him for a few moments, before going back to the speakers, but my attention was always drawn back to him.

Finally, the campaign was over and instead of getting up, I sat back and watched the man who only seemed to have enough energy to let people past him, I could see some of them getting annoyed that he wouldn’t get up out of their way, but it didn’t seem to have any effect on him. He stayed in his seat a few moments longer and I darted down the stairs and back into the room. People had begun to congratulate me on my speech, telling me how they were all sitting with someone who had cried and most of them seemed like they would give me a yes vote. 

I had patience and thanked them all individually, but I didn’t want to risk losing sight of the man. I managed to get away from the crowd and I saw where Darren and everyone else had waited around where they had been sitting.

‘Hey, that was fantastic Angie!’ He exclaimed and I mumbled a thanks, walking away from them towards where the man had brought out his walking stick and began trying to stand.

‘Angie?’ Jocelyne called.

I finally reached him and walked a little slower towards him until he looked up to see me.

‘Oh, Angie Lockwood.’ He said and smiled. He looked well north of sixty and had white hair poking out from under his shabby hat. He tried to make more of an effort to stand. 

‘You don’t need to stand for me.’ I said and he looked relieved.

‘That was some speech you made.’ He said, a smile forming on his face. ‘I came from Edinburgh to hear it and it was well worth the trip.’

‘You came from Edinburgh?’ I exclaimed. ‘To hear a speech? You must have heard good things to make the trip in your condition.’ I gave him a wink and he got where I was going with my comment, I sat on the bench in front of him and smiled. 

‘I should have known you’d recognise me for what I am.’ He nodded and his breathing looked a little heavy. I took out a bar of chocolate I kept on me all the time and handed him a row, he laughed a little and I was saddened to see how happy he looked with it. ‘The world’s leading expert in werewolves and here she sits, helping and old man regain his strength.’

I smiled. ‘I don’t feel much of an expert to be honest.’ I admitted.

‘I don’t suppose many people do.’ He looked at me with a blue twinkle in his eyes. ‘As far as I can see, you seem to know your werewolves very well.’ I could see him looking behind me and I turned to see my friends watching. ‘Is that James Potter over there?’ He asked.

‘Yeah, you a fan?’ I chuckled.

‘My family is from Tutshill.’ He smiled. ‘I do miss them.’

I sat for a moment and thought how it was probably his condition that had him based in Edinburgh. ‘Do you want to meet him?’ I offered.

He laughed and shook his head. ‘I’m sure he has better things to do with his time that meet old men.’

‘Probably not. He did come to the rights speeches after all.’ I laughed and the man agreed. ‘Are you in pain?’ I asked, noting his movements.

He sighed, still with a smile on his face. ‘Yes.’ He said, quietly. ‘But I’m used to it, I just need to rest every so often.’

‘The trip back won’t be easy.’ 

‘No, but I’m sure I’ll survive it.’ He began to stand again and I helped him up.

‘You should eat the chocolate, it’ll give you a little energy.’ I told him. ‘Will you be okay?’ I asked.

‘Oh yes, I’ll be fine.’ Once he was up, I stood back to let him stand on his own. ‘Thank you, I look forward to your next speech.’

He began shuffling away towards the exit.

‘What’s your name?’ I called after him. He turned around and gave a small laugh.

‘John Smith.’ He said.

‘That’s not your real name.’ I said, entirely unconvinced.

‘No, not by a long shot.’ He said and disappeared out of the door, still chuckling away. I just smiled to myself and wandered back towards my friends, who looked a little confused.

‘Who was that?’ Darren asked. 

‘Erm… An interested party, I guess.’ I just shook my head. ‘Anyway, James, what did you think of the speech?’

Everyone laughed and James just held his hands up and nodded. ‘Okay, yes, I was a little late, but I heard it was a great speech and you had the whole room in tears. Which, I guess is a good thing?’

‘Well, we’ll find out soon.’ Darren said and hugged me. I could see Remus and Clara sitting down and imagined they felt a little worn down. ‘Right, everyone back to ours, mum says she’d meet us in the reception and we’ll head home.’ Everyone began heading towards the exit. ‘Oh and I should mention, she’s invited a few friends, so the place could be crawling with Aurors and I’m sure dad has invited a few Healers from the hospital. Just warning you all.’

‘Is Katie coming?’ Jocelyne asked.

‘Yeah, she’ll be over when she’s finished work.’ Darren and James began recounting stories of facing each other in Quidditch matches and I hung back a little to walk next to Remus. 

‘I’m very proud of you.’ He said and put his arm around my shoulders, kissing the top of my head and putting a little more weight on me than he normally would. ‘It was a very accurate and compelling story.’ He breathed a little heavier than normal.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked.

‘Forgot to grab my tea before I left this morning, so I’m feeling a little sore.’ He admitted.

‘Remind me when we get home and I’ll make you some.’ I just chuckled a little and Clara had hung back a little as well.  
‘It was a great effort Angie.’ She said and smiled. ‘You want me to carry to extra weight?’ She pointed at Remus who was now putting a lot of weight on me.

‘Do you mind?’ I asked and immediately he let go. 

‘Sorry.’ He mumbled and looked entirely miserable.

‘Oh, here we go, he’s going to mope like a teenager now.’ Clara teased and I laughed a little, watching Remus roll his eyes.

‘I don’t mope.’ He said.

‘Yeah, you do.’ Clara stood next to him and I just left them to it, catching up to Jack and David and chatting with them until we got to the busy reception. Remus and Clara sat down on the edge of the fountain, getting their breath back and we all began chatting and laughing at stories that James told about Remus at school and how awkward they both were. 

Finally, my mother had shown up with Kingsley and a woman with bright pink hair that I vaguely recognised as being a few years above me at school, all of them looking a little tired and we all went home where the celebration commenced. I had made Remus some Silvermint Tea and it had attracted the attention of a few Healers and a couple of Aurors who were interested in how to make it.

‘Is specific to werewolves?’ One of the Healers asked.

‘With the Silver yes, without no.’ I answered and handed Remus a goblet full. He was then bombarded with questions about the taste and if it was having an immediate effect, before my father cut in.

‘Alright everyone, let’s leave him be for a while.’ He said in his commanding tone. ‘I’ve got the barbecue on and Adrianna could do with a little more company, I think.’ He said and everyone began dispersing.

I poured the rest of the Tea into an empty wine bottle and slid it towards Remus who just laughed, finishing his goblet. It was just us in the kitchen, while everyone was outside and celebrated as the sun began setting, I cleaned up the equipment and turned to see Remus had been watching me.

‘What?’ I asked and he just shook his head. ‘You look tired.’

‘I am tired.’ He nodded. 

‘You can take a nap for an hour if you want? No one will care.’ I chuckled.

‘I’ll be honest it’s sounding more and more appealing by the second.’ He took a deep breath and it was obvious he was not in as much pain.

‘Come on, you can sleep for an hour and I’ll wake you up when everyone starts wondering where you are.’ I said and went towards the stairs, I waited for him to get up and follow me, it seemed to take him a few moments to find the will, but eventually he was right behind me.

We went upstairs, not really thinking about the fact he was in my bedroom, he gave me a warm smile. ‘What now?’ I asked.

‘Nothing, just the fact that I’m in your bedroom that you’ve talked so much about.’ He said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

‘Yeah, except this isn’t exactly how I thought it would go.’ I reasoned and he gave me a cheeky look. ‘Okay, I didn’t exactly have a plan either.’

‘Well, I have to say I’m a little disappointed.’

‘No you’re not. You can’t do anything in your state.’ I laughed.

‘Fine you have me there.’ He nodded and pointed to the wall just behind me. ‘You keep the cup in your room?’

I turned to look at the blue Triwizard Cup staring at me. ‘Yeah, I keep meaning to move it out of here actually.’ I frowned. ‘But my parents like keeping all my things together while I’m away.’

‘Probably so they don’t have to miss you as much.’ Remus offered and managed to find the energy to stand behind me. 

‘Maybe…’ I had brief flashbacks of the maze while I looked at the cup, of the dementors and the cold misery, before using everything I had to leap for the cup and make it stop. I cleared my throat and turned to face Remus.

‘Are you okay?’ He asked, concerned.

‘Yeah, fine.’ I said, trying to be fine. ‘You’re supposed to be resting.’ I said and it made him laugh, he sat back down on the bed and watched me. ‘You want me to kiss you don’t you?’ I recognised that look.

‘I always want that, but you make it sound like a chore.’ He chuckled. 

I shook my head and stood in front of him. ‘It’s never a chore… It’s just odd, being in my bedroom with you.’ We both laughed a little.

‘I imagine it is.’ Remus nodded. ‘We don’t need to do anything, I’ll just sleep for a while and wait for you to wake me.’

I watched him for a moment and smiled, feeling a little brave and taking his hands to rest on my hips, he sighed a little and I brushed the stray hair that was covering his face. I leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, it was that warm, soft feeling that I enjoyed so much and the fact that he liked exploring my mouth as much as I enjoyed his touch. I found myself wanting to be closer to him and I felt him chuckle a little against me.

His hand drifted down to the back of my legs and I felt him gently guiding me to straddle him. I smiled against his mouth and felt his hands drift up my thighs while his tongue explored my mouth; I wasn't sure quite what had happened, but I heard Remus moan a little loudly. I suddenly stopped. ‘Sorry.’ He whispered. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Yeah,’ I nodded. ‘I just… I wasn’t expecting… I’m okay.’ I nodded again.

‘We can stop.’ Remus smiled and let his hands rest either side of us.

‘No.’ I said a little quickly and Remus laughed.

‘As much as I’d like to take this further, there’s a lot of people downstairs that will probably notice you’re missing soon.’ Remus said, staying very still.

I stood up and watched him look over my entire body and face.

‘Okay…’ I nodded agreeing and walked to one end of my room and back. ‘I just need a minute.’ My face blew up red, I could feel it.

Remus just smiled a little satisfied with himself.

‘Whatever.’ I said, rolling my eyes at his smug look and headed for the door, still smiling. ‘I’ll be back in an hour.’ I promised and left him in peace for a while.

The party was nice enough and there were a lot of people all congratulating me on my speech and wishing myself and David luck in Bulgaria. We had tried to have a conversation in Bulgarian, but wasn’t a good standard just yet and we just ended up laughing.

Jack had sat down beside me as we looked out at the view of the fields just beyond the garden, we talked and laughed, until he asked the question I really didn’t want to give him the answer to. 

‘Jack, I love you so much, but not… Not in the way that makes me want to be anything more than just your friend.’ I said and saw his face change from hopeful to disappointed again. ‘You’re my best friend and I’d never gotten to where I am without you, I know that for a fact, but I just can't see anything beyond that… I’m not very good at this stuff, does it make sense at least?’

‘Yeah.’ He said quietly. ‘Yeah and I know you’re not good at this stuff and that’s okay. It’s one of the reasons I… You know.’ He gave a tight smile, we stayed quiet for a while, before Jack took a deep breath. ‘Well, I guess I’d better go, it’s getting late and I have to go to work first thing in the morning.’ I gave him a look. ‘Yeah I haven’t gotten used to saying that either.’ He chuckled, we jumped down off the fence and I hugged him tight. ‘Thanks for being honest Angie.’ He said quietly and wandered back towards the house I caught Darren’s eye and he walked up next to me.

‘How did it go?’ He asked.

I shrugged. ‘I was honest. It was all I could do.’

Darren put his arm around me and pulled me close. ‘Well, I guess we can’t help how good looking we are Angie, it’s a curse.’ He joked and I hit him for it, laughing. 

‘Darren.’ I shook my head, still laughing.

‘Best go and wake the werewolf in your bed.’ He said, quietly and winked at me.

‘I’m going to kill you.’ I smiled and wandered back inside and up to my bedroom where Remus was curled around one of my pillows. 

I sat down next to him and began gently waking him up, until finally he turned onto his back and went about opening his eyes. ‘Feel better?’ I asked.

‘Much.’ He said, still sleepily. ‘Thank you.’

‘No problem.’ I chuckled and turned so I sat at an angle facing him, he put his hands up behind his head and just rested for a moment. I could see the tip of a scar on his hip that looked a little nasty, I found myself wanting to trace my finger over it and just feel how soft the skin was.

‘Funnily enough,’ He broke my train of thought. ‘It’s one of my only scars that was from a perfectly natural accident.’ I went a little red. ‘I don’t mind, not really.’ He said, but something about the way he didn’t push it, told me he wasn't exactly comfortable with me seeing any of his scars.

‘How did it happen?’ I asked and folded my legs underneath me.

Remus took a deep breath and thought for a moment. ‘Well, I got it at school actually. I was in a Care of Magical Creatures class and we were studying Hippogriffs, I was especially nervous back then and it knew immediately.’

‘I’m so sorry.’ I frowned, thinking how terrifying it must have been.

‘It’s okay.’ He shook his head and held my hand. He was so warm and I just wanted to curl up next to him.

‘Did you have a good sleep?’ I asked, changing the subject.

‘Probably better than it should have been.’ He chuckled and I just laughed shaking my head. 

‘Jack asked me if I was ready yet.’ I could see the frown setting in. ‘I told him the truth finally, that I love him, but just not in the same way, I think he appreciated that I was honest about it. I don’t like hurting him like that though.’

Remus sat up and leaned on his elbow in front of me. ‘Angelina, if you’re having second thoughts about what we’re doing here-‘

‘I’m not.’ I interrupted. ‘I like what we’re doing… I wish I had more confidence to move a little faster, but I’m not having second thoughts, I promise.’

Remus breathed a sigh of relief and before I could do anything, pressed an intense kiss to me. I could feel him drinking me in and I didn’t ever want to stop. He pulled away far too soon, but didn’t go too far. ‘Thank you.’ He whispered and kissed me again.

He pulled away and I frowned. ‘For what?’

‘For… Everything.’ He shook his head and laughed. ‘Come on, we should get downstairs, before Darren and Clara start thinking we’re doing something we’re not.’

I laughed and jumped off of the bed, watching him put his shoes on and he left his shirt untucked underneath his jacket. 

‘You’re quite handsome.’ I commented, just watching him. Remus laughed and adjusted his collar.

‘Well you’re not so bad yourself.’ He shot back.

He stood up and I realised that he had a fairly lean build, something I wasn’t sure I’d noticed properly before. He gave me a frown, questioning what I was thinking. ‘Kiss me.’ I said and he just smiled, slowly wandering over to me and placing a light kiss against my lips. I ran my hands up his chest and felt him sigh into me, giving me a slightly more intense kiss, one where his hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me up into his body. Remus began slowing down a little.

‘The next time I see you and we have time…’ He started and I understood what he was talking about. I nodded against him, feeling a little out of breath. 

We eventually, managed to get ourselves back to the celebration and the night rolled on, but in the back of my mind, I kept wondering what it would feel like to be close to him, to really be with him, it seemed he was thinking about it as well, because every so often I’d catch a small pink flush creeping over his cheeks.


	9. I'm Ready, Be With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, one of the more explicit chapters. Enjoy!

The night of the full moon was suddenly upon me and I was nervous, Clara had told me to get a little sleep before I went to St Mungo’s so I could stay up a little longer than usual. I slept in until around midday and through some new act of routine, I reached for the book Remus had given me for my birthday and opened it to the back page. I didn’t really expect there to be anything in it and I was right, he’d be too tired to write anything that day.

Hope the night isn’t too bad for you. I’ll send you a message in the morning and let you know how it went.

I’ll be fine. 

I closed the book and went about getting ready for the day ahead. I went downstairs to find that my NEWT results had come through the post, I opened it yawning and tried to adjust my eyes to the writing. I smiled looking at every subject with an O next to it, I’d passed them all, even Ancient Runes and I decided that my breakfast would consist of a chocolate frog to celebrate.

I went back upstairs to find that Remus had written back while I was gone.

Shouldn’t be that bad, I’m locked away in my bedroom anyway. I hope you got enough sleep, just remember to stay calm throughout the entire thing, don’t panic, Clara won’t hurt you while she’s got your potion inside her. You’ll be okay and I’ll be coming to St Mungo’s to see you both tomorrow regardless.

I know you’ll be fine. 

‘Message read.’

I think you’re a lot more nervous for this than I am and I’ll be honest I’m pretty nervous about it. I’ll be okay, you need to rest and stop worrying about this, Clara will be locked behind a clear door and like you said, she’ll have the Wolfsbane inside her.

In other news, I got O in all my NEWTs, be proud and mull over my success while you sleep the rest of the day. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Yours

The writing disappeared and none came after. I hoped he was sleeping and resting for the night ahead, it would be a long one for everyone and I imagined I’d need someone to hold me when it came to an end.

I apparated to the hospital late in the evening, the sun was just about to set and it was nice out. I made my way to where Clara had been sleeping most of the afternoon, she just looked tired, like it had been a long day. I’d seen Jack, mostly following another Healer around and he didn’t have much time to stop say hello. I just gave him a smile as he went about his day and told Clara the good news about my NEWTs.

‘That’s great news.’ She mumbled.

‘Yeah, means if the book is a flop I can get most other jobs to keep myself afloat.’ I chuckled. ‘Haven’t heard from Argus yet though,’ I answered her frown. ‘Said he’d get back to me within the week, I’ve been trying to think if there’s anything I can add into the book, or anything he’ll come back and say needs to be changed… We’ll see.’ I smiled.

‘You’re nervous.’ She commented.

‘A little.’ I admitted. ‘I’ve been thinking about it and I really don’t know what I’m about to see. I can’t even imagine what it’ll look like.’

Clara suddenly sat up in bed, she looked a lot more awake than she had a few seconds previous.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked and leaned towards her.

‘Yeah.’ She began stretching her neck. ‘Best get down to the locked rooms.’ Clara leaped off of the bed and I heard a rattling, I looked down and saw that the moon watch Remus had given me had started shaking, telling me a werewolf was nearby. I looked at Clara and she just gave an amused smile. ‘I wonder who that could be.’ She joked and I took the watch off, putting it into a box with a few things, including the book that I would write in and let Remus know I was okay. 

Clara had already begun changing into much shabbier clothes, before she wandered into the room and began her stretching.

‘Remus doesn’t think it helps, but it makes the stretching feel less… Stretchy.’ She smiled and bent her body into all sorts of positions. I sat against the opposite clear door, keeping my distance like I had promised and just watched her. ‘It’s nearly time, anything you want to know before we both change?’

‘Erm… Maybe just describe how you’re feeling just now? Are you hot? You’re clearly a lot more alert, are you in any pain?’ I tried to think, but honestly I was more nervous than I think I’d ever been before.

Clara stood up and stretched her back. ‘No pain, mild discomfort in my joints, a little aching, but that could be from the stretching. I feel warmer and much more alert, yes.’ She stood up straight. ‘Anything else?’

‘Not that I can think of right now.’ I chuckled.

‘Okay, well I have one for you.’

‘Sure.’

‘Are you serious about Remus?’ I gave her a slight frown, not quite understanding why she would ask that question. ‘I’m only asking, because he’s one of my very best friends and I don’t want to see him heartbroken… He’s got it bad for you, I’ve honestly never seen him like this. He was jealous of Jack taking you to the ball, said you looked very beautiful that night, I’ve never seen Remus jealous, usually if he’s interested in someone, he makes every excuse under the sun as to why he can’t be with them. There’s something very special about you Lockwood.’ She looked at me and I could feel my face setting into confusion.

‘There’s nothing special about me. I’m just like everyone else.’ It sounded much more bitter than I had intended.

Clara suddenly stopped. ‘Lock the door now and change into your animagus.’ She said and began breathing very heavily. I picked up my wand and waved it towards both her door and the entrance to the rooms. I changed immediately and almost looked down at what was happening in front of me.

She bent over, like she had a bad stomach ache and was holding herself in a ball on the floor, before I could hear the snapping of her bones, her limbs elongated, her hands became paws, her skin greyed and thinned and hair began sprouting from everywhere there wasn’t hair before. Her eyes pierced mine for the briefest moment and they were not as I remembered them, they were like wild dog eyes, single minded and focussed. She began screaming and soon that turned into blood curdling howls as her form stretched up and she leaned her heavy body against the clear door. She panted heavily and snorted, feeling her new body, stretching and shaking out.

I suddenly realised that I had curled away in the corner and I had been holding my breath, I let it go and began panting heavily just like she had done. I was panicking, I was terrified and I hated myself for it. 

She looked at me and stood on her back legs, placing a paw against the clear door, looking what could only be described as concerned for me. I tried to stand up, but the first few times, I found myself cowering away from her. Before she lowered herself to the floor and looked right at me. It was Clara, she was in there somewhere, she was in control and I had nothing to fear, nothing at all. I was still scared, but I managed to stand up and when I did her whole body changed, she lowered herself further and I took a tentative step towards her. 

For no reason in particular and without any warning, she howled loudly and I just watched it happen. It looked as if she had wanted me to do the same, so I mentally shrugged and did so. She seemed to brighten up and get on all fours, just watching me.

I wasn’t sure I trusted what was happening, there was something that appeared to be very unlike Clara staring out at me from the room and I didn’t dare change back into my human form while she was like this. So we just watched each other for the rest of the night, on occasion she would pace and it would make me a little nervous, so I’d stand up properly and go to her, but mostly I laid down on the other side of the locked rooms and waited for the morning to come.

When the sun finally did come back up, I watched the same thing happen again, she looked as if she was having a bad stomach ache and her limbs, began shrinking back, her bones broke and reformed, the howling returned to screaming and suddenly all that was left was Clara, panting heavily and dragging the blanket over her body to keep warm. She didn’t take her eyes off of me and I didn’t dare change back until she said it was safe.

After what seemed like hours, she finally nodded and I changed back, going up to the door. I got it open and checked she was okay.

‘I’ll go and get someone.’ I said and ran off upstairs, grabbing one of the Healers near, who rushed down to get Clara what she needed.

She was taken back to her room and given Silvermint Tea to give her a bit of energy to get through the worst part. My father had come to see us and find out how it all went and handed me a row of chocolate to help.

‘Any ideas what that was?’ Clara finally asked. I frowned, eating my chocolate. ‘When you changed I couldn’t quite see you properly, you were in the corner, but when you stood up… It was beautiful.’ She smiled and I realised she must have been referring to when we had howled together.

‘You should get some sleep, Remus will be here later.’ I told her and she still just smiled at me, before turning over and going to sleep. I couldn’t sleep thinking about what I’d seen, so in the comfort of my father’s private on call room, I made notes, I tried to remember what I’d seen and wrote it all down before remembering that I hadn’t yet written to Remus.

I jumped up off of the bed and went to my father’s desk flicking to the last page to find that Remus had panicked.

You haven’t written yet? I assume you’re probably getting some sleep after the night, but please let me know as soon as you’re awake.  
Yours  
Remus

I’ll take a stab in the dark and say you’re still asleep. Let me know you’re okay when you wake up.  
Yours  
Remus

You must be awake by now, I haven’t slept at all, I’m waiting for you to let me know you’re alright.  
Remus

Angelina, please tell me you’re okay. If I don’t hear from you in the next half an hour, I’ll come down to St Mungo’s.  
Remus

I’m coming.

‘Message read.’ I said and tapped the cover. I quickly wrote a note, telling Remus that I was fine, he didn’t need to come down before he had rested, but it was too late. I could hear him asking for me outside the room and quickly got up, opening the door.

‘Remus.’ I breathed and he just stared at me wide eyed. ‘It’s okay.’ I told the Healer. ‘Come in.’ I held the door open and he limped in. ‘What happened to your leg?’ I asked closing the door, but when I turned around, he was already pressing his lips to mine, holding me tight against him. Kissing my lips, my cheek, my neck, before sighing into me against the door. ‘It’s okay, I’m alright.’ I assured him and after a while, he loosened his grip.

‘I’m sorry, I just thought… When you didn’t write.’ Remus was crying, I could hear it. He was also putting more weight on me than I could hold up for long.

‘I know, I’m sorry.’ I said and kissed the side of his head. ‘Come on, let’s get you into bed, you’re exhausted.’ I managed to pry him away from me long enough to get him into bed, he slumped down and he looked like he was never getting up again. ‘I’ll be right back, I’ll get you something for the pain.’

‘No.’ He said and grabbed my hand to stop me leaving. ‘Please, just… Just stay.’

He was in so much pain and I suddenly felt like I couldn’t leave him ever again. I climbed into bed and let him curl his body around me. His hands roaming up my back and his head rested against my neck and shoulder, while I kissed his forehead and let him fall asleep against me.

He felt nice, he felt warm and cosy and everything that made me nervous and confident all at the same time, he felt like mine. I soon let my eyes drift closed and slept curled into Remus, the way I felt it should be all the time.

 

Waking up smelling something sweet and feminine was the last thing Remus expected to wake up smelling, he recognised it though, he knew that smell. Angelina. He’d smelt it when he had slept in her bed, the sheets just smelled like her and he let his mind drift to all the things he wanted to do with her. But this time it was stronger, a lot stronger. He moved a little and felt the warmth of someone else in bed with him, before he remembered everything. 

She hadn’t written to say she was okay and he’d been panicked enough that he barely had any time to drink his Tea before leaving for the hospital. Every scenario imaginable went through his mind, she could’ve forgotten to lock the door and Clara could’ve lost control, she could have died any number of ways and he would never forgive himself if anything had happened to her. He couldn’t lose her, not for any reason.

He took the opportunity while he could hear her breathing heavily, to inhale her again, his senses were winding down now and when he had first caught sight of her, he wasn’t sure he was in complete control of himself, he could have hurt her and again he would never forgive himself if he did. He was beginning to think that falling in love with her was a bad idea, so much could have happened already and there he was going against everything that stopped him falling for anyone before her.

Remus tried to ignore those thoughts and instead concentrated on how she felt in his arms, she was soft and warm and everything he imagined waking up with her would feel like. She was kind and compassionate and so fearless, she was perfect and he was so lucky to have her there with him. 

She took a deeper breath and Remus suddenly feared that she would leave him for whatever reason and he couldn’t let her go so easily. He felt himself tighten his grip on her, suddenly aware that his hand had found it’s way underneath her t shirt and was gently placed on her back, he felt the soft bare skin and had an urge to kiss every part of it, to just feel her beneath his lips, but he didn’t, instead he sighed and they adjusted so that they were a little further apart than before.

‘Afternoon.’ She mumbled. Remus just chuckled and gave in to temptation, he kissed her and tried his best to resist doing anything else. He pulled away when she let out a small whimper. 

‘Are you alight?’ He asked, it was the only thing he could think of saying. 

‘I’m… I’m better now.’ She frowned and he placed his hand on her waist. ‘I think you should go and see Clara, something happened and I don’t quite know how to describe it.’

‘Is she hurt?’

‘No, no she’s fine, I just think she needs you right now.’ Angelina looked at him, pleadingly and he couldn’t say no.

‘Okay, let me just, find my body first.’ Remus said, feeling aches he hadn’t felt for nearly two years. 

‘Let me get you something?’ She was asking permission to leave him for just a few minutes and he decided he could let her go for a few minutes. He nodded, but didn’t let go.

‘Please… Just kiss me first?’ He begged her. She just smiled and placed the gentlest kiss on his lips, it was full of hesitation and nervousness, but he didn’t mind, he understood and didn’t push for anything more. She pulled away and ran her fingers over his cheek for a moment, just watching him.

‘I’ll be back.’ She said and he let he go, resting his eyes for a while and replaying the memory of waking up next to her, the way she felt, the way she made him feel. He pulled his hand up to his chest, just feeling his body aching beneath it and wishing he’d just remembered to drink the damn tea before he panicked and left.

 

It had taken a lot to leave Remus in the bed, he had felt so good. I was vaguely aware of him moaning into my neck at some point, finding his way underneath my t shirt and brushing his thumb over my skin, sending shivers through my body.

I saw Clara was still sleeping and I quickly checked the time to find she would need to get back to work soon. I wanted Remus to talk to her and find out what had happened in that room. I grabbed the Silvermint Tea and took it back to my father’s room, where Remus was dozing with his hand placed over his heart.

I sat the goblet down on the table and gently woke him up, he smiled up at me and I put my hand over his, just tracing over it. 

‘I’m sorry, I forgot to write.’ I said. ‘I was a bit shocked, that’s all. I needed some time to get over it.’

‘I know.’ He smiled. ‘I was just worried about you.’

‘Well, I’m safe and sound and I’ve had a nap, so no more need to worry.’ I tried to assure him. ‘Can you sit up for me?’

Remus nodded and it took a lot to hoist his body up enough to be able to drink the tea, but finally he did it and downed the potion in one.

‘Better?’ I asked.

‘A little.’ He nodded. ‘Now, back to what you were saying about what you saw. You said you were shocked, but you were scared weren’t you? I can see it.’ Remus just gave me that look he would give when he knew full well how I felt, he just wanted me to say it.

‘Terrified.’ I whispered and swallowed hard. ‘I just can’t believe that’s what you go through every month, it’s horrible.’ I could feel the tears fighting to escape.

‘Oh Angelina.’ Remus said and guided me to rest against his chest. I felt myself cry a little, but he just seemed to make it all the better. ‘You made it better, trust me. I’d go through that every day, before I go back to the way it was and I’m sure Clara would say the same. You saved us from a life of unbearable pain.’ Remus kissed my head and dragged his fingers through my hair and I relaxed into him.

We stayed there for a while, until he was noticeably more awake and up for moving around, that was when we went to see Clara. I didn’t feel much like listening in on the conversation, so instead I went to find my father who was rushing around one of the wards.

‘Oh Angie, you’re awake.’ He said, a little out of breath. ‘Did you get enough sleep?’

‘Yeah, I’m fine. What’s going on?’ I said and watched the Healers run around.

‘We’re not sure, but it looks like some campers ran into some kind of poisonous plant, we’re not quite sure what it was just yet.’ He said, looking around and moving me out of the way. ‘Are you alright Angie?’

‘Yeah fine.’ I said, watching the last of the campers get brought in. ‘I’ll leave you to it, see you at home.’

‘Actually I won’t be home until tomorrow evening now, mum’s on a weekend as well, it’ll just be you tonight and maybe tomorrow, should be food in the fridge and try not to make a mess, you know what mum gets like.’ My father said before being called into the ward to tend to his patients. I smiled a little, knowing exactly how my mother got when the house was left in a mess.

I went back to Clara’s room to find that she was talking to Remus, dangling her legs off the side of the bed and explaining something that I had no interest in listening to. I sat outside and read a random book I found in the waiting area until they were finished. 

Concentrating on the words was a little difficult, I couldn’t stop thinking about what I’d seen that night, I was so scared and she looked so dangerous, I was genuinely terrified that at any moment she would try and break out to kill me. I knew it was a stupid thing to think, Clara would never hurt me and I trust them when they said my potion worked, so there was no reason to think that I was in any real danger, but Remus had asked me to watch in my animagus form for a reason.

I felt someone sit down next to me and adjusted so that I wasn’t sprawled over invading their space.

‘Clara said bye.’ Remus said and my head spun around a little startled to see him. ‘You seemed to be very absorbed in your book.’ He smiled.

‘Oh, no not really.’ I said putting down. ‘Is Clara okay? She left?’

‘Yes, she needed to get back to work.’ Remus nodded. ‘I think we need to go somewhere and talk about last night.’ He said and from the look on his face it wasn’t anything to worry about exactly.

‘We can go back to mine if you want?’ I offered. ‘No one will be there tonight, mum’s on a weekend shift and dad will have to stay because of what’s happening upstairs. Darren’s gone to France for a few days before he heads back to Japan.’

‘Okay, sounds good.’ Remus nodded and we apparated into my back garden. 

I let him in and it was strange seeing the house abandoned. I made us both a cup of tea and we sat in my living room, out of habit I went over to the radio and put music on quietly in the background.

‘You don’t mind do you?’ I suddenly asked. ‘It just makes me feel less alone.’

‘Not at all.’ Remus smiled and sipped his tea. I sat down on my living room sofa with my legs folded underneath me and watched him settle next to me. ‘I’ll ask you once more and I promise never again on the the subject. Are you alright?’

I just smiled. ‘I think so, I’m not freaking out like I thought I would and I’m not running away like I thought I’d be tempted to do. I’m just… Fine.’ 

Remus nodded. I got the impression he believed the less said on the running away part the better. ‘Well, I had a very interesting conversation with Clara, she said that what she saw was… Something she’d never seen before.’ Remus frowned. ‘She said that at first you were curled in the corner, understandably scared of what you were seeing and then you stood up and she saw you much clearer… She said she saw a huge beautiful creature, she said she could feel it’s power glowing against her and all she wanted to do was stand with this creature forever, when it howled she thought it was a mixture of a call to arms and a song that inspired her. I wonder if the fact that you’re a natural wolf has something to do with her reaction.’

I just frowned at Remus, I had no idea what he was talking about, but simply sipped my tea and gestured for him to continue.

‘Clara was convinced this creature would free her, that she should follow the wolf wherever it went.’ Remus had that look while he spoke, like he was assessing my every expression. ‘She said when she changed back and saw the wolf with her own human eyes that while it was still very beautiful, she didn’t feel compelled to follow anymore, that she couldn’t understand what had captivated her so much… What did you see?’ 

I shrugged. ‘Nothing like that. I mean I was in the corner in the beginning, I was scared… She wasn’t quite right when I stood up though, like she was intimidated, maybe? It’s hard to describe.’

‘That’s okay. I know what she’s talking about with the howling though.’ Remus admitted. ‘When we were at the lake a couple of years ago, you had just gotten your potion approved by the ministry and you were so happy-‘

‘I howled at the lake.’ I smiled, remembering that day vividly, I’d turned back to see his face and he looked astounded.

‘You were very beautiful to me even then.’ Remus admitted, but couldn’t quite look at me.

‘Really?’ I asked, smiling. ‘I always thought I was kind of awkward.’

‘You were a little, but it was nice, reminded me a lot of myself at school.’ Remus laughed and sipped his tea.

‘You know you’re still technically there?’ I chuckled.

‘I’m not working on technicalities with you, it doesn’t lead anywhere good.’ Remus laughed.

‘Well thanks, our first kiss was that bad was it?’

‘No.’ He whispered. ‘No, it was perfect.’ He looked at me and I could see him replaying the memory. I wondered if he enjoyed it as much as I did, if he felt the same way I did about it.

We spent the evening just hanging out and eventually made dinner and it was nice, just being with him in a place that wasn’t his office or anywhere else where time was short. We got to know each other a little more, we talked about growing up and he told me about his time at Hogwarts, being more of a prankster than I thought he’d be. It was nice hearing about his friends and all the fun he had. 

We finally sat in the kitchen with a Firewhiskey each after I’d grabbed a bottle from the cupboard, I’d been laughing at some story he told about sneaking out at night when we both realised the time.

‘Well, that’s very late.’ Remus said, checking his watch. ‘I should probably go… Makes a change me saying that.’

I nodded, laughing a little. ‘You could… Never mind.’ I cleared my throat.

‘Could what?’ He frowned.

‘Doesn’t matter.’

‘Angelina, could what?’ He gave me that look that put just enough confidence in me, but also that made me realise how humiliating it was to give in and just ask what I wanted to ask.

I rolled my eyes. ‘I was going to say, you could just stay… If you wanted?... I mean, because I liked sleeping next to you… And waking up next to you… It was nice.’ It had turned into a mumble by the end and it took me a moment to look at Remus, who was just smiling with his eyebrows raised a little.

‘You’re asking me to stay the night?’ He asked.

‘Yeah, I guess I am.’ I shrugged.

‘To sleep in the same bed as you?’

‘You’re making a thing of this.’ I scowled.

‘Not at all, I’m just making sure I heard you right.’ There was a cheeky glint in his eye that told me he was playing with me.

‘I’ll make you sleep on the floor if your not careful.’ I laughed and finished off my whiskey.

Remus held his hands up in defeat and finished his whiskey as well. I turned off the radio. And waved my wand, putting everything back in it’s place, letting the dishes wash themselves over night. 

‘You coming?’ I said, at the bottom of the stairs, watching him sit for a moment. Remus smiled and stood up following me upstairs to my room.

I closed the door behind me and saw him waiting for me to make the next move. ‘What?’ I asked.

‘Nothing.’ He shook his head. ‘I just find myself yet again in your bedroom and once again you don’t seem to have much of a plan.’ He was definitely loving this.

‘True, I didn’t think much further than this.’ I laughed, feeling myself go red.

Remus wandered towards me, placing his hands on my hips gently and piercing my gaze. ‘Can I make a suggestion?’ I nodded, swallowing thickly. ‘I’ve been waiting to kiss you properly all day and I’m not sure I can resist much longer.’

I found myself leaning up towards him and catching his lips against mine. He responded immediately, pulling me closer to his body, exploring my mouth the way he liked to and I found my legs growing a little weak against him. I felt myself moaning a little into him and before I knew what was happening his hands stilled and he pulled away.

‘Sorry, I… I needed to stop.’ He said and sat on the edge of my bed regaining his breath.

‘I was rather enjoying that to be honest.’ I leaned against my door and watched him laugh a little.

He sighed and thought for a moment. ‘I’m not pushing you into anything, but I’m afraid until you’re ready I need to keep stopping myself from going too far.’ His cheeks lit up pink and I suddenly found myself thinking about what it would feel like. ‘You giving me that look isn’t helping.’ He laughed.

‘What look?’

‘The one that says you’re thinking about being with me.’

I pushed myself away from the door and stood in front of him. ‘It’s because I am.’ I swallowed thickly and it seemed that Remus’ mouth went dry. ‘I want to be with you Remus… I just need you to show me how.’ We both gave a little chuckle and he nodded.

‘Are you sure?’ He asked and I nodded. ‘Remember you can stop any time you want, it will be fine.’ Remus gave me a searching look, he was looking for any doubt that I was ready to be with him once and for all. ‘Okay.’ He smiled and stood up again, taking his jacket off, throwing it towards my desk chair. ‘Stay calm and stay relaxed.’ He told me and I felt a whip of nervousness.

I knew he saw it, but instead of letting me feel it properly, he kissed me gently, cupping my face with one hand and pulling me towards him with the other. I could feel him again, all of his body pressed against me, every part of his body and it felt right, like I fit against him.

He ran his tongue over my bottom lip and once again I involuntarily opened my mouth, he went slow and mapped out my mouth to begin with, before taking a chance and delving further in, I heard myself moan and he hesitated before repeating the movement, making me moan a little louder. He dragged his teeth over my bottom lip and that was what had my knees buckling a little. Remus caught me and laughed a little.

‘Can I?’ He asked and ran his fingers under the hem of my t shirt, it took me a moment, but I got what he was saying and felt myself go red. ‘Don’t be embarrassed.’ He whispered. ‘I want to see you.’ That made something happen in the pit of my stomach. I looked up at him properly and could see his eyes were almost black. I nodded and he smiled kissing me once again and lifting my t shirt up to my waist before stopping. ‘If you’re not comfortable, just say so.’ He said quietly.

I shook my head. ‘I want to do this with you. I chose you remember.’ I smiled. Remus sighed and kissed me again, lifting my t shirt all the way off and threw it away with his jacket. ‘Just…’ He stopped. ‘Just, go slow.’

‘As slow as you want.’ He assured me and turned us around so that I was just next to the bed. ‘Lie down?’ It was more of a question, but I did as I was told anyway. I laid back against my pillows and watched him look at my bare skin hungrily, I played with the hook in my jeans and Remus ran his hand through his hair, just watching me lie there. He began unbuttoning his shirt, but stopped before he got all the way down.

‘What’s wrong?’ I asked, frowning slightly.

‘I…’ He cleared his throat and sat next to me. ‘I have… Scars.’ He sighed. 

I sat up properly and frowned again. ‘Me too.’ I said. ‘Here, this one’s from swimming in the Black Lake and I caught my side on a rock,’ I pointed to the bottom of my rib cage where a small scar sat. ‘This one is from a blast-ended skrewt that I bravely fought off in the middle of a maze.’ I pointed to the faded silvery scar that went up the inside of my forearm. ‘And I have a nasty one on my leg from a baby lion fish that I re-injured tripping over a branch in the Forbidden Forest… I have scars too.’ I tried to make him see that I didn’t care about them, all I cared about was the way he made me feel and that was it.

Remus sighed, smiling and kissed me again. ‘Fine, just… Brace yourself.’ He warned. ‘Mine haven’t faded like yours. If you… Don’t want to continue, I’ll understand.’ He said, sadly. He stood up again and unbuttoned the rest of his shirt. It took a while to find the will to open his shirt and when he did, my eyes widened when I saw his torso. His body was lean underneath, but the muscles looked like they’d been torn open in all sorts of ways. I got up on my knees as Remus got rid of the shirt, putting it with the rest of the clothes. I held his hips and looked at each of the scars he had, they were slightly hypnotising and I found myself tracing the soft skin over his stomach, before moving to his chest where a particularly nasty one ended, it joined the one on his side that I had seen previously.

‘Hippogriff.’ I mused and I felt Remus laugh under my fingers. I looked up to see his eyes were closed, he was enjoying my exploration of his body. ‘They’re just scars.’ I said. ‘They tell a story, that you’ve lived a little differently to everyone else, like me.’

Remus smiled down at me and nodded. ‘Yes, you haven’t lived the most conventional life.’ 

‘Well, I am sleeping with my ex-professor.’ I teased.

‘Sleeping? That suggests you’re making a habit of it.’ He had his cheeky grin on.

‘I hope so.’ I could see that I’d given him a darker look, because his lips were on mine instantly. He guided me back down against my pillows and was careful to keep his weight off of me. He lifted his body above mine and looked over my face, my chest, my stomach and ran his hand down my skin.

‘Beautiful.’ He whispered against my lips, he didn’t kiss me though, instead he placed soft kisses along my jaw and I felt a rush run through me as he reached my neck and began sucking gently on the sensitive skin. It felt too good to be real, like this was it, the heights of happiness was this all on it’s own. I moaned running my hands through his hair and over his back. I could feel a few more scars there, but I didn’t care, he felt good against me. His hand drifted up my side and I shivered a little.

His hand was a little calloused from where he had held his wand for so many years and I wondered if mine was the same. He slid underneath my back and I knew where he was going.

‘Wait.’ I said quickly and Remus stopped, he stilled and looked at me, checking in case he’d hurt me. ‘Sorry, I just… Sorry.’

‘Don’t be… I know I promised not to ask you this again, but are you alright?’ That made me smile a little.

‘Yes, just… It’s a lot.’ I said. Remus just laughed and kissed me.

‘That generally means I’m doing something right.’ There was a pink flush spreading over his cheeks again. I leaned up and kissed him, telling him I was okay to continue. Remus began kissing down my neck again and ran his tongue over my collar bone, finding a particularly sensitive area that made me push my hips up against him. He kissed further down and I felt that overwhelming feeling again, the one that made me stop him before, but this time I let him carry on, kissing and licking around my bra, before coming back up to my lips. ‘I want to see all of you.’ He whispered and again it took me a moment to realise what he meant. I swallowed thickly and nodded a little. 

He didn’t take his eyes off of me, while his hand came up to unhook my bra, he gently ran his other hand over my stomach and slowly up to get rid of my bra once and for all. Finally, he kissed me again and looked down at my bare skin. He groaned into my mouth, carefully brushing his thumbs over the newly exposed skin. I felt my back arch up to his touch, just to get more of what he was doing. Remus happily obliged and lowered his mouth to my chest, working his way down, taking his time before running his wet tongue over my nipple. I suddenly put my hand on his shoulder and he stopped, not moving, just waiting for me to tell him I was okay.

‘I feel dizzy.’ I said, frowning, Remus chuckled against my chest.

‘Thanks.’ He said and I chuckled with him. He continued his worship of my breasts, massaging and licking where I enjoyed it and forcing moans from the back of my throat. He paused for just a moment, tracing his finger over the scar at the bottom of my rib, before giving me a darkened look that I couldn’t deny, put a tiny amount of fear in me, but it all faded away when he placed a gentle kiss over the scar and I ran my hand through his hair. He groaned into my stomach, kissing and licking over the sensitive areas, even scraping his teeth over the muscles and making me push up towards him.

Remus worked further down, coming to my hip bones, where he went especially slow. ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked, frowning down at him.

He came back up to face me and sighed. ‘I’m going to ask if you want to stop?’

‘Do you?’ I asked, hoping the answer was no, but worried I’d done something wrong or I wasn’t what he wanted anymore.

‘No, Merlin no.’ He said and kissed me. ‘I’m just… I’m very aware of how self-conscious people can be. I’m just… Concerned.’ He smiled a little.

‘I’m not.’ I shook my head. ‘I’m nervous, but I trust you.’ I brushed my thumb over the thin layer of hair along his jaw and he relaxed.

‘Okay.’ He pressed one more kiss to me, before getting up onto his knees and looking at me. I couldn’t help but stare at his body, it was nothing like I expected, but then I wasn’t sure what I expected. Remus ran his hand over my stomach again and reached the top button of my jeans. I felt myself get nervous again, but I didn’t want him to stop.

He lowered his lips to my hips and placed open mouthed kisses all along the sensitive skin, before I knew what was happening he was taking my jeans off, slowly and allowing me every opportunity to stop him, but I didn’t. Soon, I was laid out in front of him in just my underwear and I felt very bare and exposed, he could see the self conscious part of me creeping in and simply kissed it away. ‘You’re so beautiful.’ He whispered against my lips.

He made his way back down and held my waist against his lips, before his hands found their way down to my underwear, he ever so slowly began sliding the last piece of clothing I had on down my hips and I could feel that fear creeping in.

‘Remus.’ I breathed as his mouth continued following the top of my underwear further down until I panicked. ‘Remus, stop.’ I said and he suddenly did. It was a moment, before he let his hands fall either side of me and leaned back, he almost looked annoyed and I felt bad. ‘I’m sorry.’ I said and felt a familiar lump form in my throat.

‘For what?’ He breathed in disbelief.

‘For making you stop.’

Remus shook his head and ran his hand through his hair again. He leaned down and placed a very intense kiss to my lips. ‘I should be apologising.’ He said, watching me. ‘I didn’t stop when I heard you saying my name, I just kept going and you panicked. I’m sorry for that… You alright?’

I nodded my head. ‘Just… There’s a lot happening, you know?’

‘I do, believe me I do.’ He chuckled against me. ‘Do you want me to stop?’

‘No.’ I whispered. ‘Don’t stop.’

I felt his hips push into me a little, before he worked his way back down, sliding my underwear off completely and leaning down to kiss over my hips again. His hands ran over my thighs, caressing them, before his lips found the inside of my thighs; he kissed and licked and scraped his teeth over every part of the skin there, before I felt his breath tickling my centre.

‘Just relax.’ He said, his voice not the usual light tone I recognised. It was heavy and husky and it made something shoot straight to the area he was now kissing. I could feel an energy in the pit of my stomach as he ran his tongue slowly over every nerve ending he could find. My back arched up as he moaned into me, one of his hands still caressing my thigh and the other holding my hips steady.

I felt his tongue wrapping around a particularly sensitive part and I ran my hand through his hair, encouraging him to continue his attack, it felt too good, I had been wrong before, this was the heights of happiness, except something told me it wasn’t enough. I needed more. ‘Remus.’ I moaned. ‘Please.’ I begged and saw the almost startled look he gave me, but he didn’t stop, instead he flicked his tongue over me and I felt his hand move closer to my centre. He slid a long slender finger inside me and I moaned out, throwing my head back into the pillow and giving into the sensation.

The energy had begun to get more and more frantic the longer he kept up what he was doing, before I found myself crying out, the energy exploding inside me and I felt like I was falling. Remus just slowed his movements, helping me fall gracefully and gently. He slowly took his hand away and began kissing back up my body, hitting every unbearably sensitive part of my body that he’d discovered beforehand and placing small, light kiss on my lips.

I finally opened my eyes and saw him smiling smugly at me. ‘Can we do that all the time?’ I asked and we both laughed a little.

‘Absolutely.’ He whispered and kissed me again. ‘But I would like to finish this, before we start again.’

I smiled against him and watched him lean up on his knees again, he removed his belt. ‘Can I…?’ I asked, but there didn’t seem to be an end to the question, I felt myself go red and laugh at how ridiculous I felt.

‘Can you what?’ Remus stopped what he was doing and gave me that look that said, he knew perfectly well what I was asking.

‘You know what.’ I nudged him a little.

He leaned down and gave me that darkened look that put the tiniest amount of fear in me and so much more excitement. ‘I know exactly what you’re asking, but I’d really like to hear you saying it.’ He moved a stray hair away from my face and kissed me gently.

‘Can… Can I… Undress you?’ I asked, feeling myself go red, but he either didn’t notice or care, because he moaned into my mouth.

‘I would love to watch you undress me.’ I said in that same heavy, husky voice that I liked. He leaned up on his knees again and pulled me up to join him. I was still a little light headed and he just let out a small chuckle and held me close against his body. Remus guided my chin up to receive a gentle kiss. ‘Take your time. Let me know if you get stuck.’ He smiled and I laughed a little.

I could feel him suddenly handing all control over to me and I had a small moment of panic, before desperately wanting to trace his scars again. I ran my fingers over each one, before arriving at his hips. I slid my finger below the line of his trousers and ran it across to his other hip, he was already hard and had been for a while. The thought of it made me want to kiss him, there was a scar that sat across one side of his chest and I pressed my mouth to it, feeling the soft skin beneath my lips. Remus had moaned a little and his hands had tightened their grip on my hips ever so slightly.

I could feel my cheeks burning up again, but didn’t want to stop him making noises of approval. I found the button and went about undoing it, I had a very quick idea and looked up at him, giving a small smile. Before he could ask what I was about to do, I slid my hand down taking the zip with me and brushing against his hardened length. Remus let out what could only be described as a growl, his head came to rest on my shoulder and one of his hands grabbed mine to make me stop.

‘Sorry, I just thought-‘ I panicked and wasn’t sure if he was angry with me.

‘Don’t be.’ He said quickly, panting and trying to regain control of his breathing. ‘No, that was… That was very good, but… I don’t think I can keep myself under control if you do it again.’ He chuckled.

I frowned and he came up to see me.

He sighed smiling again. ‘When you’re more comfortable, I’ll explain.’ He said. ‘I think I should do the rest though. I’m not sure I could handle you doing anymore.’ I just nodded and kissed him. I laid back down and watched him get off the bed to take his trousers off. His legs were the same, scarred in places, but lean, like a runner. He leaned down to kiss me again, before sliding his underwear down and standing naked in front of me.

I couldn’t help my smile, Remus just frowned a little.

‘So, I’m naked in my bedroom, which isn’t that odd,’ I explained. ‘But I’m naked staring at the also naked man who I am having sex with for the first time, who also happens to be my ex Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor… Tell me you thought this was going to happen when I first came to Hogwarts.’

‘Not what I first thought, when I saw you for the first time.’ Remus admitted, seeing the funny side. ‘But then you were eleven when I first met you.’

‘Yeah, that’s a little weird.’

Remus leaned down and kissed me again. ‘You’re killing the mood.’ He chuckled and took his previous position on top of me. He watched me for a moment. ‘Try and relax.’ He said and again a small amount of panic settled in my stomach. He kissed me again and built up the intensity, moving to my neck, scraping his teeth over the sensitive skin, caressing my breasts and moaning into me and making me push my hips up to meet his.

He gave me a look that could only be described as questioning whether I was ready, I was, I really was and I felt him smile against my lips as he guided my legs either side of him. I felt something hot nudge at my centre and took a sharp intake of breath, leaning back into the pillow. Remus took the opportunity to place an open mouthed on my neck and gently ease himself inside me. At first it wasn’t so bad, people always told me it would be incredibly painful first time, but it wasn’t. That was before he pushed just a little further inside and I felt like I was being torn in half, my hand flew to his shoulder and immediately Remus stopped, he stayed still and I could feel him taking very controlled breaths against my neck.

‘Try not to panic.’ He whispered. ‘Take a deep breath and relax.’ He said quietly. I did just that and he eased a little further into me, it was less painful than it had been and he could tell. ‘And again.’ He said, I took another breath and again, there was a little pain, but it was better. ‘Once more.’ I took a huge breath and he slid the rest of the way inside me. I felt him relax on top of me, just feeling himself inside me, before he lifted his head to see if I was okay.

‘I’m good.’ I said nodding, but feeling a tear escape. He wiped it away and smiled.

‘Are you in pain?’ He asked and I nodded.

‘A little… It’s not as bad as it was.’ I admitted. Remus just kissed me and didn’t move until I said I was ready for him to. ‘Just don’t go too fast.’ I chuckled, nervously.

‘I won’t get that chance.’ He said in that husky voice. ‘You feel too good.’ That made me relax more than I had done before. Remus began to slowly ease himself out and there was a small release of pressure, before he slowly moved back inside me. 

I couldn’t concentrate too hard on the discomfort, so instead I focussed on how it felt to have him naked on top of me. His warm body wrapped around mine and it felt like it had done that morning, with him curling himself around me and I hoped he felt the same way about it. It was like our chats in his office, it was ours, it was special, he was special, especially to me. I could feel him going just a touch faster, before crying out my name, moaning into my neck as his whole body shook inside and around me.

Remus took a moment, but soon, he removed himself from inside me and kissed me gently. ‘Are you okay?’ He panted.

‘Are you?’ I shot back and he laughed.

‘I’m very okay.’ He said and kissed me again, not stopping until he really needed to take a breath. ‘You felt so good.’ He smiled. ‘I didn’t hurt you did I? I couldn’t stop myself at the end.’

I shook my head. ‘I’m good.’ I told him. ‘A little sore, but I’m good.’

Remus nodded and fell off of me. He took a deep breath and wiped away the small amount of sweat that had built up on his forehead, I watched him start to replay the whole thing over in his head, before smiling and realising I was watching him. ‘You’re staring.’

I leaned up on my elbow, facing him and feeling how sore I really was. ‘And?’ I shot back, he just laughed and shook his head.

‘Honestly, are you okay?’ He gave me a sincere look and I nodded. ‘Come here.’ He said and I rested on his chest, his arms curled around me and I’d never felt safer. He began raking his fingers through my hair and I felt a calmness settle in my chest. ‘You were so brave and so beautiful.’ He whispered. ‘Thank you.’

I didn’t quite manage to reply before I found myself drifting off to sleep.


	10. It's Not A Secret

I woke feeling the sun on my face and feeling two warm arms keeping me close to a warm body. I took a breath and felt the body moving behind me.

Remus moaned against my shoulder, kissing me and pushing his hips against me, before stopping and relaxing. ‘Sorry.’ He whispered, I could feel the smile against my skin. ‘You just feel so good against me.’

I chuckled a little and turned over to face him. I couldn’t help myself and leaned in to kiss him, wanting to explore his mouth and he wasn’t putting up any resistance. He moved his hand from my waist further down my back to the curve of my arse and pulled me closer, I wrapped my leg around his waist, making him moan into my mouth and push his hips up to meet mine. He was already hard and I was still a little sore, but I just wanted to feel him inside me again.

I pushed my hips further so that he brushed against my entrance and I let out a breathy moan.

Remus lowered his lips to my chest and moaned against my breasts, he came back up and smiled. ‘Are you ready?’ He asked and I nodded. He slid himself all the way inside me until he couldn’t go any further, I threw my head back and we both just felt each other, the warmth and pleasure all rolled into one. Remus waited until I was ready for him to move inside me and when he did it was a little faster than the previous night. He thrust himself a little harder into me and I felt gloriously stretched every time.

‘Remus.’ I whispered against his lips and he slowed down. ‘No, don’t… Don’t stop.’ I said and he gave me a very dark look, before picking up speed again. I could feel the energy building in the pit of my stomach again and I wanted it to explode again.

‘Come for me.’ Remus told me in that heavy, husky voice and I did just that. I moaned his name into his neck and felt myself tighten around him.

‘Angelina.’ He growled against my ear and I felt his body shake around me. Like the previous night, we both just regained our breathing for a while, before he kissed me again and went to say something, stopping just before he did. I didn’t have the energy to ask him what it was, I was thoroughly spent.

Remus began removing himself from me again and rolled onto his back, just feeling his body come back to him. We soon found the energy to get up and while he was in the shower, I made us both breakfast, knowing he would tell me he that he would have to leave soon. I’d put the radio on and saw Ruben flying towards the house as I did. I went out to meet him and held my arm out for him to land on, he was carrying a packet and a few letters attached. When I went back Remus was finishing making the tea, he smiled at me as I wandered in.

I set the letters down and went to put Ruben in his cage so he could rest a while. 

‘Looks important.’ Remus said nodding to the packet and waiting for me to sit down. 

‘Think it’s Argus sending my draft back.’ I said and let him slide my chair in behind me. Remus sat opposite me and looked a lot fresher than I’d seen him for a long time. I sipped my tea and looked at the letters. ‘Argus, Jocelyne and Benji, ministry… Bulgaria.’

‘Didn’t realise you had countries writing to you.’ Remus joked. I just chuckled and opened the letter. ‘What does it say?’

I read through the slightly official looking letter. ‘It’s about my trip, they want me to make an effort to meet with the Bulgarian minister while I’m there… I wonder what that’s about.’

Remus frowned and shook his head. We both continued eating for a while and I read through Jocelyne and Benji’s letter, they were buying a house and were inviting me over to see them when it was ready.

The one from Argus was telling me that he enjoyed the book and that I should send a copy to the publisher he recommended, that it would go straight to print no problem.

‘That’s great news.’ Remus said, smiling. ‘Well done Angelina.’ He was ecstatic. ‘Are you going to send it?’

‘Argus says he’s written a letter to his friend telling him to keep an eye out for it, so I suppose I’ll have to.’ I chuckled and sighed.

‘What’s wrong?’ Remus frowned. ‘This is a phenomenal achievement, why aren’t you more excited about this?’

‘I don’t know, I guess I just don’t think it’s that big a deal.’ I shrugged. ‘It’s good news don’t get me wrong, but… I’m eighteen, you know?’

Remus cleared his throat. ‘Yes, I’m aware of your age.’ There was something a little cheeky in his expression that made me laugh and shake my head. ‘Angelina, at the age of fifteen you had already achieved more than most people achieve in their entire lives, I can see how writing a book might not compare to an Order of Merlin or a Triwizard Cup, but trust me, it’s a wonderful thing to be able to say you did once.’

I watched Remus for a moment and smiled. ‘Well, let’s hope it sells well.’

The letter from the ministry, however, was something I could get excited about. It was inviting me to a meeting with the minister himself to discuss terms to the reclassification of werewolves. I stood up and began pacing around reading the letter out loud to Remus.

‘I’ve got a meeting with the minister!’ I said and Remus stood up, sweeping me up and laughing with me. I kissed him, over and over again, so excited that finally I could make a difference.

‘I’m so proud of you.’ Remus said, in between kisses. ‘When is it?’

He put me down and I read the date. ‘End of October… I should be back from Bulgaria by then.’

‘You’d best start work on what you’re going to say now then.’ Remus read the letter over my shoulder. ‘You might not have the time while you’re away.’

Remus leaned down and kissed my cheek, before returning to finish his breakfast. I eventually joined him and caught a glimpse of him checking the time.

‘You need to leave soon, don’t you?’ I said, taking a gulp of my tea.

‘Yes.’ He sighed. ‘I’m also thinking that I might not get a chance to see you before you go to Bulgaria.’

I thought for a moment and he was right, I left with David in less than a week’s time and as far as I knew Remus wouldn’t have any reason to leave the school in that time.

‘So I won’t see you again until October?’ 

‘I didn’t say that.’ Remus said adjusting his position. ‘You’re always welcome at the school and I’m sure if you asked I could see you for a weekend. Bulgaria doesn’t monitor people apparating in and out of the country, I could come and see you any time.’

‘You’ve been doing your homework?’ I gave him a suspicious look.

‘Actually, that’s just one of those things I sort of know.’ Remus shrugged. ‘I’m making the point that it doesn’t have to be that long before we see each other, I’m not sure I could let you go for that amount of time otherwise.’ He gave a small chuckle and I understood. ‘Anyway, I’d best get back to the school, I’m sure I’ll be noticed by my absence.’

I smiled and stood up to see him out, we got out into the garden and I suddenly felt my heart pull a little. He turned to see me and I held him tightly, not wanting to let him go. ‘I’ll miss you.’ I said and felt him kiss the top of my head.

‘I’ll miss you too, but you’ve got adventures to have and I have a whole new generation of witches and wizards to teach.’ I looked up at him.

‘Can’t we just stay in my bed forever?’ I laughed and Remus smiled down, giving me another gentle kiss.

‘I hope you know how brave you were last night and how lucky I am to have made you feel like that.’ Remus said quietly and kissed me again. 

‘I hope I made you feel good too.’

He laughed a little. ‘Good isn’t the word I’d use… You made me feel better than I ever could have imagined, I don’t know what the word for that is.’ Remus looked over my face and smiled, before sliding his hands around my waist again and giving me one last intense kiss. ‘I’ll see you soon.’ He whispered, before letting me go and wandering down the path away from my garden, I watched him walk away, until he turned around and gave me a quick wave. He disapparated and I was left alone in my back garden, soaking up the summer sun.

 

I had gone to Diagon Alley to pick up supplies for my trip to Bulgaria. The Bulgarian minister had spoken with the trainers at the sanctuary David was going to study at and managed to secure me a cabin for my research there. Apparently that was one of the perks of being a leading expert in a rare field, I would need to remember that for the future, it would definitely come in handy.

I would be tracking the wild werewolf pack that roamed around Pirin National Park, it would be a fair amount of hiking and I needed to get a hold of some boots to make the trips in as well as a few other bits and pieces. I had written to David to check and see if he fancied another wander into town with me the day before we left, just to grab anything extra.

‘So, what have you been up to? I haven’t seen you all summer.’ David said and we made our way into the packed street.

‘Just this and that.’ I shrugged. ‘I have a meeting with the minister at the end of October to discuss terms of the reclassification.’

‘That’s great news, what terms does he want to discuss?’ We got to Flourish and Blotts and headed towards the care guides section.

‘Not sure, it wasn’t specific.’ I shook my head.

‘I guess you’ll just have to prepare for everything then.’ David sighed, realising the pressure I was under to do well here.

‘Yeah, guess I will.’ I flicked through a couple of books I knew I wasn’t going to buy. ‘I’ve sent my book to be published as well. Argus said it was pretty good and recommended a publisher, I’m just waiting to hear back and see if they’re interested.’

‘Published author, eh? Your list of achievements is growing by the day Angie.’ David chuckled.

I just laughed and picked up another book. ‘How’s Cassie?’ I asked.

‘She’s good, she’s decided to take a position at a sanctuary for endangered magical creatures in the south of France.’ David said rather proudly. ‘We’ll both be pretty busy, but we’ve decided to try and see each other on free weekends. Bulgaira doesn’t monitor people apparating in and out, means she’ll be able to show up any time she wants, I’ll have to walk over the border next to Germany, but that’s okay.’ David found the book he was looking for and tucked it under his arm. ‘So… You made any progress with Remus yet?’

I felt my whole face turn beetroot.

‘Oh my god, you’ve slept with him already?’ David said, chuckling. ‘Bet that was an experience and a half.’ He winked.

‘What does that mean?’ I frowned, still burning red.

‘You know, because he gets a little beastly once a month… Does the beast come out when you’re-‘

‘Okay!’ I held my hand up. ‘That is so not something I want to talk about.’ I laughed with David. ‘He’s sweet really, a bit awkward like me… I like him. Remus is a good person, I’m lucky.’ I smiled.

David had stopped what he was doing. ‘You’re really serious about him aren’t you? I can see it on your face.’ He said and I nodded, not being able to stop myself smiling.

‘So am I the last to last my virginity?’ I chuckled.

‘I think so… Jack met this girl at St Mungo’s, she works at the ministry, can't remember which department though; he’s been hanging out with her a lot and it looks like he’s liking her more and more. He didn’t tell you?’

I shook my head. ‘No, actually. He didn’t.’

‘He might not be ready to tell too many people just yet?’ David offered, but we both knew that Jack hadn’t mentioned this girl for a reason. ‘Try not to concentrate on it, he’ll tell you when he’s ready.’

‘I haven’t mentioned Remus to anyone.’ I said. ‘You’re the only who knows, except Clara… And Darren.’

‘Darren knows? How did he take that when you told him?’ David leaned against the table opposite me, setting his pile of books down.

‘I didn’t, Clara did.’ I slid the book back on the shelf. ‘He sent her an owl on her birthday and they got to talking. We were bound to come up eventually, I guess.’

David nodded thoughtfully. We headed down to buy his books and left to find a café to sit in for a while. ‘You know, you can’t keep your relationship a secret forever.’ David said, sipping his tea.

‘I’m not keeping it a secret, I just haven’t told anyone yet.’ I defended. ‘No one’s asked.’

‘So if I send an owl to Jocelyne and Benji, telling them you and Lupin hooked up, you’d be fine with that?’

‘I would complain about the wording of it.’ I chuckled. ‘I don’t know. I think I’m just worried what people will think. If anyone suspects we did anything while I was still a student, he could lose his job and it’s not like he’d be able to find another one no problem.’

‘I guess, but you didn’t do anything while you were a student, so you’ve got nothing to worry about, right?’ David looked at me and I felt my face burn a little. ‘Are you kidding me?’ He said, more laughing than being actually angry. ‘When? What happened? Did you sleep with him at Hogwarts?’ He said the last part much more quietly.

‘No!’ I exclaimed. ‘Nothing like that… We kissed in his office… It was on my birthday.’ I shook my head.

David let out a huge laugh, that had a couple of people turning to see what was going on. ‘I’m sorry. Sorry.’ He said to the people he’d disturbed. ‘Sorry, Angie. That’s really funny though. You’re a lot more of a bad girl than you give yourself credit for. I didn’t know you had this rebellious side to you.’

‘It wasn’t like that.’ I just shook my head, suddenly feeling a little guilty. ‘He got me a birthday present and we had a drink and we ended up talking for ages and it sort of just happened.’

‘Did you enjoy it?’

‘What?’

‘I imagine he’s got experience. How much older is he? Fifteen years?’ David frowned, trying to figure it out.

‘He’s twenty-eight.’ I said. David gave me a look of disbelief. ‘What? Werewolves age quicker than most people. It’s the toll their bodies take from the transformations.’

David suddenly nodded and clearly felt for Remus. 

‘He seems like he could be good for you.’ David said, finishing the rest of his tea and ordering another for the both of us. ‘Does he make you happy?’

‘Yeah.’ I smiled, not being able to stop myself.

‘Then that’s all that matters.’ David said with a sense of finality about it. ‘You’ll have to bring him to Jocelyne and Benji’s wedding and I’m sure they’ll insist on the house warming as well.’

I laughed. ‘We’ll see.’ I said and we spent the rest of the day chatting about Bulgaria and testing out our level of speech, which still wasn’t great, but we were getting there.

I managed to pack nearly everything I’d need for the trip and left it next to my bed ready to pick up before I left in the morning. Everything I had, including my broom was in my rucksack, except for the book I wrote to Remus in. I took the book onto the bed with me and wrote him a letter before I went to sleep.

 

So, what would you say to being my date to Jocelyne and Benji’s wedding? They haven’t set a date yet, but they’ve got their house warming party that I’ll be going to, I wouldn’t mind your company there as well, but if it’s during term time it's fine. I only ask because David seems to be under the impression that I’m keeping you a secret from everyone, which isn’t directly true… I think I’m worried that you could get in trouble for dating an ex-student, more that you kissed a student… Maybe I’m over thinking the whole thing?

Anyway, I just thought I’d write to say that the Bulgarian minister spoke to the trainers at the Thestral sanctuary and I have a cabin to do my research in. So feel free to come and visit anytime, but write first because I might be in the middle of Pirin National Park some days. I’ll try and write as much as I can, I’ll miss waking up next to you, I haven’t had the chance to make it habit yet, maybe that’s a good thing? Means I might not miss it as much as I could.

I guess I should get some sleep now. Good night Remus.

Yours

Angelina

The message disappeared only a few moments later, I waited for the reply, feeling my eyes getting heavier while I did. Finally words began to appear on the page.

You’re not over thinking it at all I’ve been having the same worries. If anyone finds out that we kissed while you were still a student, there could be serious consequences for the both of us. David is smart enough to know that and I’m sure it won’t be a problem, but reminding him that it should stay a secret would probably be wise. While all of that is true, I don’t think there’s any problem at all with us being in a relationship and letting people know that. Maybe once you’re back from Bulgaria we can talk about what the future holds for us properly.

A cabin sounds nice, you’ll have to let me know what it’s like when you get there and make sure you brush up on your Bulgarian, there will a lot of people who speak English, but making the effort is always appreciated. Please be careful going out on your own, I know you can handle yourself and you know how to stay hidden from unwanted attention, but please don’t take any unnecessary risks, stay safe. I need you to come back in one piece.

As for waking up next to me, say the word and I can be next to you in fifteen minutes. I’ll have to leave first thing in the morning as there’s a staff meeting and I’m not sure how your parents would react to finding me in your bed. And of course I’ll accompany you to the wedding, let me know the date and I’ll be there.

Yours 

Remus

I read the note a few times, before tapping the cover. ‘Message read.’

Make it ten minutes. I’m not sure I can stay awake much longer.

The message disappeared almost immediately and I closed the book sliding it onto the table next to my bed. I tried to stay awake for as long as I could, but my eyes closed within seconds of putting the book down. I heard a faint popping sound in the corner of my bedroom and then a weight added to my bed.

‘Good night Angelina.’ Remus whispered and wrapped his warm arms around me as we both drifted off to sleep.


	11. Time Apart

Remus woke before she did, he took the opportunity to pull her a little closer to his body and just feel her curled into him. He inhaled deeply and could smell that sweet, light scent that was entirely Angelina. He would miss her so much while she was away, he wasn’t sure he would be able to get away from the school as much as he had promised and hoped she would understand. He could hear the sound of someone walking past her bedroom door and suddenly remembered that he needed to leave to get to this damn staff meeting.

He really didn’t want to wake her while she looked so peaceful, but he needed to leave soon. Remus gently began waking her up and soon she was smiling up at him.

‘You came.’ She breathed.

‘Of course, you asked me to.’ He brushed the stray hair away from her face. He could see her suddenly becoming self conscious about the way she looked. ‘You’re beautiful.’ He said, trying to let her know that he didn’t care if she had drool stains all over her face, he would still think she was beautiful. Remus watched her settle and pressed a kiss to her, feeling that rush of excitement surge through him. He stopped before he went any further and sighed quietly. ‘I have to go.’ He whispered, hearing someone else walk past the door.

She nodded a little sadly, but she understood. ‘Thank you for coming to say goodbye.’ She whispered and leaned up to kiss him. ‘Have fun in your staff meeting.’ She smiled and he let out a quiet chuckle.

‘I’ll try.’ He mentally began mapping out every part of her face. ‘Stay safe for me. I’ll see you soon.’ He said and kissed her once more, finding the soft skin of her waist and pulling it against him, just once more, before he really needed to leave. 

Remus got up off the bed, grabbing his cardigan from her desk chair and watched her take a breath. ‘See you soon.’ She whispered and he smiled before disapparating to the castle gates.

He sighed and pulled his cardigan tighter around his tired body. He’d had a long week; the full moon had been a bad one and he knew it was because he was worrying about her. He’d paced around his quarters, just trying to sleep in different positions, trying to find one that would get him a few minutes of sleep, but nothing seemed to work and then he had paced around his office waiting for her to reply. When none came, he had run out of the castle towards the gates, with an energy he never had the morning after.

He was fairly certain he had seen McGonagall talking to Poppy on his way past and both women had been startled enough to get out of the way before calling after him. 

When he got back to the castle the next day, he’d gone straight to the hospital wing, feeling the tiredness catch up to him. Poppy had fussed that he shouldn’t have exerted himself so much so soon after a transformation, he didn’t dare say anything in response and stayed very still when she asked him what had provoked him to sprint out of the castle.

Remus had just told her he was tired and needed to rest for a while and the subject wasn’t brought up again. Though he had been approached by McGonagall and he was fairly certain she knew more than she let on.

‘Did you attend Lockwood’s speech?’ She had asked at breakfast. Dumbledore always insisted the staff sit at a round table while the students were away for the summer, at least the ones that stayed in the castle. 

Most of the staff turned their attention to Remus, who had cleared his throat looking a little sheepish. ‘I did.’ He nodded, giving her a tight smile which he always brushed off as him feeling sore. ‘She was very inspiring… She’s got a meeting with the Minister for Magic at the end of October to discuss terms of the reclassification, so that’s something.’ He hoped that would be the end of the conversation, maybe with a few people asking for details of the speech that he’d share no problem, but it was the look she gave him with the whisper of a smile that had that hope fading.

‘I would have thought that decision would take some time to make?’ She asked and Remus resisted the urge to scowl at her.

‘Yes, she sent me a letter this morning.’ He lied, he really didn’t want to tell McGonagall or anyone else that he’d spent the previous morning making love to an ex-student and it was dropped into casual conversation over breakfast with said student. ‘She’s getting her book published as well, the one on the Wolfsbane potion. Argus Taylor the Daily Prophet writer, he recommended a good publisher so I should think it’ll be available in Flourish and Blotts by the end of the summer if all goes to plan.’ The change of subject seemed to do the trick.

‘Good.’ Snape had cut in. ‘Teaching out dated potions was getting, exhausting.’

‘We’ll put it on the list of books the students will need to purchase over the summer.’ Dumbledore agreed. ‘Remus, do let her know that we’re all very proud.’

‘Of course.’ He nodded and caught a look shared between McGonagall and Sprout that had him rolling his eyes and avoiding eye contact for the rest of breakfast, in fact he’d managed to avoid the subject entirely over the few days before he’d left late to sleep next to Angelina.

There was no avoiding McGonagall that morning though, he’d hoped he was back early enough to avoid running into anyone, but that wasn’t going to happen. He’d sighed at the sight of a tabby cat sitting at the top of the stone steps outside the Great Hall.

Remus walked past McGonagall and felt his body grow a little heavier.

‘You left late last night.’ She noted catching up to him as he trudged back to his quarters.

‘Yes.’ He said simply and invited no response.

‘The same thing that had you running out of the castle a few days ago?’ She pried.

‘Not exactly.’ He gritted his teeth, hoping that this would soon end.

‘Oh, a different student?’ She asked, almost shocked. ‘Remus, that’s hardly-‘

‘What?’ He snapped. He hadn’t meant to and she could see that. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I think you know very well what I mean Remus.’ She had that stern tone that she would have when he was at school, the one that said the next sentence would involve the word detention. ‘You’ve fallen for Lockwood, it’s not hard to see.’ He gave her a panicked look. ‘No one else has been keeping the eye on you that I have.’ She raised her eyebrow. ‘I should be careful if I were you. Relationships with ex-students never end well. Be sure you know what you’re getting yourself into.’

McGonagall spun on her heel and left Remus to think on her words. She was right and he knew it of course, but he couldn’t help the way he felt and he wasn’t going to stop seeing her, it just wasn’t going to happen.

The meeting in the Great Hall went as expected, mostly just minor changes to the curriculum, including an essay on werewolves. His own timetable rarely had a full morning, he barely looked at it straight away, knowing that it was designed to cover up his condition and that it would fit as best as possible with everyone else’s schedules. 

He had been asked the usual questions, if there was anything in particular he wanted to focus on, if there were any extra books he wanted to put on the reading lists and if there were any promising students he wanted to mention. Remus only half listened to what McGonagall was saying about a student who looked promising in transfiguration.

Dumbledore had suggested they take a break for lunch. Remus briefly went back to his quarters to change into a t shirt, it was warm and there really wasn’t any need for him to be wearing a thick shirt and his cardigan. 

He opened the parchment he used to talk to Angelina out of habit and found it blank, he wasn’t exactly surprised, she was probably making her way to the sanctuary in Bulgaria by that time. He felt his heart pull a little, just knowing that she was several countries away from him pained him a little more than he wanted to admit, but he had hope that she was excited enough not to focus on the fact that they were so far apart.

Remus shredded his shirt and just caught a rare glimpse of himself in the mirror, he looked over his pale, scarred body and wondered how Angelina could bare the sight of him. As far as he could see, he was a broken old man who had nothing to offer her in return for her kindness and compassion.

He put the parchment away in one of his drawers and headed back to the Great Hall to finish the meeting. 

‘Oh, one more thing I’d like to mention.’ Dumbledore had said at the very end. ‘I am aware that Remus, Minerva and Severus have all discussed bringing Miss Lockwood back to give classes, but I would suggest approaching her about the subject towards the end of the year. As I hear it she is visiting Bulgaria to carry out research into the wild werewolves there, waiting until her research has taken shape would be wise.’ He nodded and the staff began to leave the Hall. ‘Remus, a word?’ Dumbledore had said, just as Remus was collecting his things. 

Dumbledore didn’t move and sat back down in his seat once the Hall was empty, Remus followed his lead, throwing his leg over the other and wondering what he could possibly want to talk to him about.

‘Will you be going to see James and Lily before the summer is over?’

‘Yes, next week actually.’ Remus confirmed. ‘James won’t be back playing Quidditch until the middle of September and Lily has a little time off work.’

‘Do send my love.’ Remus nodded again. ‘Well, onto more pressing matters… Miss Lockwood is researching the werewolves in the Pirin National Park in Bulgaria for the next few months?’

‘Yes, she’s been waiting to see them since last year.’ Remus smiled, remembering when she first mentioned about going to see them.

‘Well, I should like you accompany her when she meets with the Bulgarian minister, I have a feeling his intentions are less then kind.’ Dumbledore warned, Remus went to ask the obvious question. ‘I have no idea what he’s after, but with her being so young and inexperienced with negotiations I wonder if you could be of assistance.’

‘Albus, I think you forget that we’re talking about a woman who gained an Order of Merlin at the age of fifteen.’ Remus laughed a little. ‘She can handle herself very well, proven by her efforts in the Triwizard Tournament. You think she won’t understand what is being asked of her.’

‘Oh, you misunderstand me, without a shadow of a doubt she is intelligent and brave beyond compare. I’m sure you’ve seen yourself just how extraordinary she truly is,’ It was almost an accusation. ‘But she still has a lot to learn about the intentions of others, something she is much less experienced in.’ There was a twinkle in the headmaster’s eye and Remus was hardly surprised to hear what he had to say next. ‘You’ve grown very close to each other and for that I’m glad, she needs someone she can trust to guide her in the right direction. She was meant to be great and I believe you can help her make the right choices.’ Dumbledore stood up. ‘I hope you make each other very happy, send her my congratulations on the book.’ He added as he left the Hall.

Remus just sighed and slowly collected his things to head back to his office where, later that night, he found Angelina had written to him.

Remus,

So Bulgaria is a lot warmer than I expected, it’s nice, I can walk around in my vest and shorts all day and a little as the sun goes down. The sanctuary is amazing, most of the buildings are in the middle of a what used to be a field, next to the forest and the huge lake isn’t that far away, apparently muggles like walking close to it while they’re hiking, but there’s all sorts of charms up to keep them away from the sanctuary itself. There's a Thestral herd living inside the forest, all kept within the boundaries of course.

It took ages to actually get here, David picked me up and we apparated straight to Cornwall and met up with the rest of the junior trainers, nearly missed the portkey to the rendezvous point just inside the Bulgarian border. David said that there were a bunch of trained Thestrals waiting to take us to the sanctuary, but obviously I couldn’t see them. 

Once we got here, we had a tour, but again I think a lot of it was wasted on me because I couldn’t see the Thestrals. I know it’s probably a good thing, means I’ve been lucky or something like that, but I fail to see what’s lucky about missing out on experience, does that make me a bad person? Of course I don’t want to see anyone die, I just mean I’d like to know what the Thestrals look like.

After that I met Aleksander, he’s new at the sanctuary and will be working with me while I’m here, he speaks fluent English, Romanian, French and German and Bulgarian, obviously. He’s been working for the international relations department at the ministry for a couple of years after he left Durmstrang and he’ll be coming with me to help find the werewolf pack when I head out. He seems nice, I’m excited to be working with him.

The cabin I’m working in is pretty homey, there's a huge work room, couple of desks and a map of the area which will come in handy when I head out. My bedroom is just behind it and Aleksander won’t be far if I need anything. David’s already settled in the cabin he’s sharing with another junior trainer, apparently all the trainers share with the person they’ll be training with for the two years they’re here for.

Anyway, just thought I’d let you know I arrived and I’m all ready for the adventure. I wish you could be here, it’s gorgeous. I’m going to spend tomorrow making a plan with Aleksander and work out where best to start, probably should have started before I left, but I didn’t really think about it, I was just excited to get here.

I don’t think I’ll get the chance to write again before I go to bed. The senior trainers and breeders are having a welcoming party for all the newcomers and they’ve kindly invited me. I’ve also written to the Bulgarian minister and told him any time in the next week I’ll be free to meet with him, so I’ll let you know how it goes. And don’t worry I’ve written to my parents and Darren and told them I arrived safely, like a good daughter does.

I miss you.

Yours

Angelina

Remus read through the letter again, feeling a twinge of jealously at this Aleksander she met and also a protectiveness at the meeting with the Bulgarian minister, if she was meeting with him in the next week, Remus needed to tell her what Dumbledore had asked him to do.

Angelina,

I’m glad you’re enjoying the weather, warm is always a good thing. Thestrals are strange creatures, they look very dangerous and a little scary, almost amphibious, they have huge rubbery wings that extend to twice their actual body length, mostly black or dark grey in colour and very skeletal, no hair on their bodies at all. They pull the carriages at Hogwarts and that’s what those ones look like, I’m not sure if the Bulgarian ones are a different species, so they might be a little different.

Of course you’re not a bad person! You’re right that witnessing death is a horrendous thing, but I’m glad you understand that and aren’t about to go looking for someone about to die just to see some Thestrals. 

Aleksander sounds like a very intelligent and capable individual. It makes me a little happier that you won’t be roaming around on your own with a wild werewolf pack in the area. You probably should have made some kind of plan, yes, but it’s a learning curve and you’ll know for next time.

As for the minister, Dumbledore has asked that I come with you to meet with him as his intentions may not be as friendly as they seem, it’s just to see that any negotiations run smoothly and to offer friendly advice should you be asked for anything. Please let me know when you’re planning to meet with him and I’ll be there within the day.

Have fun partying with the Bulgarians and remember to stay safe.

I miss you too.

Yours

Remus 

Remus made his way down to his quarters for the evening and hoped that she was safe whatever she was doing. He felt the ache of a long day hit him and was asleep almost instantly. He dreamt of Angelina that night and though he couldn’t have known, several times a smile appeared on his face while he dreamt. He was happy.


	12. Have Patience

Remus had obviously been worried about the meeting with the minister and I decided to trust in his judgement, scheduling the meeting for the following week to give Remus some time to get to Bulgaria. Aleksander and I had been sitting in the workroom with the doors wide open to let in the summer sun, it hadn’t quite worked as we were facing the wrong way, but the breeze was nice.

Aleksander was a very nice man, only three or four years older than me, with thick black hair that I was fairly sure he spent ten minutes styling everyday. He had a huge build, his frame reaching nearly six foot tall, but his soft blue eyes poured kindness and reminded me a lot of Remus.

‘So, what exactly are you looking for?’ He asked, his accent was barely noticeable, it was more a flavouring of something foreign and that was it.

‘Not sure.’ I sighed. ‘I’m just interested in the pack and what makes them able to transform the way they do.’

‘Let me get this straight.’ Aleksander leaned towards me over the table, moving a few glasses of water out of the way. ‘You came to a Thestral sanctuary to study werewolves that are several miles away and you don’t know what you’re looking for?’

I bobbed my head for side to side for a moment. ‘Pretty much.’ I finally admitted.

‘You are one crazy lady.’ He smiled and shook his head. I laughed at him and had to agree.

‘Maybe, but you’re on this crazy adventure with me now, so that makes you crazy by association.’ 

Aleksander thought for a moment. ‘I’m happy to live with that.’ He said and leaned back. ‘So, you have no plan and I fancy a walk, how about you plan to walk with me to the lake and get a tan?’

I let out another laugh. ‘Sure, why not?’

We left the cabin, locking up and headed off towards the lake, I had taken my book and notebook with me in case we came up with some kind of plan. Most of the time was spent with Aleksander throwing rocks into the water while I read Remus’ reply to my letter again.

I began writing a reply while Aleksander told me about Durmstrang, which in all honesty didn’t sound that appealing.

Remus,

I’ve scheduled the meeting for next week, it’ll be on the Wednesday evening, is that enough time for you to get here? I know you were planning to go and see James this week so I put it off for a while. He didn’t seem too bothered about my asking for a little time, but my sneakoscope was going crazy in my pocket. I’m not sure I trust him at all.

I asked Aleksander if he knew what the meeting would entail and he told me it was just a sort of welcome to Bulgaira type thing, the sneakoscope didn’t do anything so I guess he doesn’t know anything about other intentions either.

We’re coming up with a plan just now, the lake is beautiful this morning and I’m considering going for a swim at some point, just to see what’s in there.

Yours

Angelina.

The writing stayed on the page so I just closed the book, sat back on the grass and soaked up the sun, listening to Aleksander talk about his childhood.

We’d finally come up with a plan to go hiking just in the surrounding area and find the best path into the mountains. It looked like it could’ve been just north of the sanctuary and following the muggle path until we found either human or wolf tracks.

‘We’ve never really had a problem with the pack before.’ Aleksander said as we hiked up the hill, it was little harder work than I had anticipated, but it got a little easier after the third day of doing the same path. 

‘What? No one going missing or anything?’ I asked, a little out of breath.

‘No, nothing like that.’ Aleksander shook his head as we got to a slightly flatter part of the path. ‘The occasional sighting, but no one sticks around long enough to find out how many there are or if they’re being hunted by the pack. They move around a lot, we know that much, never come near the sanctuary though. The pack leader Dimitri is a man you'd remember seeing. I’ve only seen him once, it was late one evening and the sun was going down, he looked maybe seven feet tall and had long hair and a long beard, it was hard to tell, but I was sure he had scars all over his body. There was something wild about him that night, like he was mid transformation. I didn’t stick around to find out, I apparated back to the sanctuary and didn’t sleep a wink that night.’

‘Dimitri.’ I said to myself, making a mental note of the name. ‘How do you know his name?’

‘His sister goes down to the ranger site on the other side of the mountain sometimes.’ Aleksander explained. ‘Once a month after the full moon, she goes down and let's us know if there’s been any accidents or not, usually it’s fine, but it’s not unheard of for a muggle to be camping out here and if it lands on a full moon they could be in serious trouble. The rangers don’t let anyone camp during a full moon, they make up reasons like bad weather that could shift at any moment, but it’s just a cover. The pack generally don’t want to infect anyone else as it means the ministry would need to interfere and its in everyone’s best interests for the pack to stay in the park.’

‘Yeah, I guess it is.’ I nodded. ‘No where else for them to go?’

‘Not really.’ He shook his head. ‘They’re peaceful enough for werewolves, they own up to any accidents and bring the bodies to the ranger site, they have food and water here and in exchange for keeping the red cap population under control, the rangers give them medical attention if it’s needed. Only problem with that is they’re bodies are so different to ours that it’s hard to know how to help in most cases.’

‘Sounds like a pretty good deal for everyone?’

‘It does.’ Aleksander helped me over a tall rock and we carried on up the gravel path to the top of the hill. ‘Doesn’t always work out like that though. Recently the rangers have been meeting Dimitri’s sister Kasha at the bottom of the mountain and not allowing her access to particular medical supplies, the reason for it isn’t certain. It’s never been easy to get the supplies to the pack and keeping an eye on their movements has always been an issue, but they’ve never betrayed the trust of the rangers.’

Something suddenly dawned on me, something I’d seen on the map to do with the land division. ‘Aleksander, the land is shared between the magical and muggle community isn’t it?’ He nodded. ‘We have probably the more dangerous half and they get all the clear paths like this one?’

‘Yes.’

‘Red caps prefer to live near water, like the lake at the bottom of the hill and that’s in the muggle territory, the pack wouldn’t go near it, they’d stay in the magical half.’

‘What are you saying?’

I stopped, finding myself running out of breath. ‘I’m saying, why did you tell me the pack keeps the red cap population under control if they never go near the area they live?’ I could see him thinking about it. ‘The only reason the pack would have to go near the sanctuary is get water, but you told me they never go there… Who told you they control the red cap population?’

‘The information is in the ranger site.’ Aleksander said. ‘Why would they lie about something like that?’

‘I don’t know.’ I shook my head. ‘I think I need to go to that site though, find out a bit more about what’s down there.’

‘You can see the site from the top of the mountain, it’ll be another few hours to get there and then we’ll have to apparate from there.’ Aleksander explained. ‘It’d take too long to get back and it would be dark by then. We can go another day, I know where we can camp out and you never know, we might see the pack.’

He was right, it was late into the afternoon as it was, there wasn’t much time to go to the ranger site. It was strange though, nothing I’d read back home said the pack was peaceful, I tried not to take it all as fact, but most of it indicated that little was actually known about them. Aleksander had just given me a lot more information than I was aware existed about them.

 

Remus knocked on the dark blue front door and ran his hand through his hair, waiting for it to open. He didn’t usually dress up when he went there, but for whatever reason he decided that day he would put his old dark blue shirt on and roll the sleeves up a little. His forearms weren’t as scarred as the rest of his body and he could pass the ones he did have off as from some accident or another.

He closed his eyes for a moment and felt the sun on his face, he wondered if Angelina was doing something similar in Bulgaria. He heard the door open and turned only to be caught in a suffocating hug by a beautiful woman with bright green eyes and long red hair.

‘Lily.’ He breathed, hugging her back and trying his best not to hurt her with the package he had been carrying. ‘How are you?’

‘How am I?’ She asked and Remus knew the tone only too well, he was in trouble. She pulled away and looked at him. ‘How am I? You didn’t think to ask that in any of your letters? Wait a moment, no, that’s right you haven’t written for weeks now!’ She was definitely angry and Remus was stumbling and stuttering over his words.

‘Well, I, you know, there’s been things to do, I’ve been-‘

‘Don’t you dare say you’ve been busy Remus John Lupin, that’s no excuse.’ Remus suddenly smiled, realising she wasn’t as angry as she let on. ‘I lost it using your middle name didn’t I?’ She asked, throwing in the towel.

‘Only my mother can make it seem terrifying.’ He laughed and hugged her again.

‘You stealing my wife Moony?’ James called from the hallway. He was drying his hands on a tea towel and Remus rolled his eyes at the comment.

‘Yes James, Lily has come to the dark side and I’ll taking her back to my castle where I will hold her prisoner for the rest of her days.’ He said sarcastically and put his arm around Lily who was joining in on the joke and standing next to Remus, wrapping her own arm around his waist.

‘It’s true James, I’m leaving you for a man who understands my needs.’ She said very dramatically.

‘Well, I hope you two are very happy together.’ James rolled his eyes and hugged Remus finally. ‘How are you Remus?’

‘Better than most days.’ He admitted and put his arm around Lily again, following James inside the house and closing the door after him.

‘Harry!’ James called. ‘Remus is here, come down and say hello.’ The three of them went to the kitchen and he placed his package on the table.

‘Tea?’ Lily offered.

‘That would be lovely, thank you.’ Remus said sitting down with James at the kitchen table.

‘We’re glad you came,’ James said sincerely. ‘Almost thought you wouldn’t be able to make it. What have got there?’ He pointed to the package Remus had been carrying.

‘That is a gift for Harry, I know I missed his birthday recently and thought I’d get him something to make up for it.’ Remus explained.

‘Oh Remus, you didn’t need to.’ Lily said pouring the water into the tea cup. ‘He’d appreciate the visit alone.’

‘Still.’ Remus said and heard someone running towards the kitchen. Suddenly an eight year old boy with jet black messy hair came running through the door and Remus was on his feet in no time bracing himself for the unusually strong boy’s hug. ‘Harry!’ He exclaimed and picked him up in his arms.

‘Remus, I’m so glad you’re here!’ He said. ‘Where have you been?’

‘Oh here and there.’ Remus chuckled and put Harry down. ‘I’m so sorry I missed you birthday, but there’s a present for you on the table.’ Remus said and pointed to the package. Lily slid over his tea and he sat back down watching Harry’s face light up.

‘You didn’t have to get me anything.’ Harry said and sat at the table, tearing into the paper. Remus watched him and saw out of the corner of his eye, Harry’s legs swinging under the table where he didn’t quite reach the floor.

‘Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them by Newt Scamander.’ He said and smiled, opening the book eager to start reading it.

Remus leaned back in his chair, throwing one leg over the other out of habit. ‘Thought it might help.’ He said and watched as Lily began reading through the book with Harry.

‘Thanks Professor.’ Harry said, still smiling.

‘You’re very welcome Harry.’ Harry had taken to calling him professor in recent times, because he wanted to prepare for it when he went to Hogwarts and it made Remus smile a little. Remus sipped his tea and saw James watching him. ‘Yes?’ A knock at the door could be heard, before James could respond.

‘That’ll be Molly and Ron.’ Lily said and went to answer the door, Remus could hear the two women greeting each other and watched as a Ron appeared with his flaming red hair.

‘Come on Harry, we’re going to Diagon Alley. Are you ready?’ He said excitedly.

‘Yeah, let me just grab my shoes.’ He said, jumping off the chair and Lily and Molly came into the kitchen as well. ‘Hi Mrs Weasley.’

‘Harry dear, you ready to go?’ The kind looking woman asked.

‘Just need to put my shoes on.’ He explained again. ‘Oh wait, Ron, this is Professor Lupin, he’s the Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor at Hogwarts.’ Remus stood and had to lean down extending his hand to Ron, who just stared up in awe. ‘This is Ron Weasley.’

‘Pleasure to meet you Ron.’ Remus said cheerfully. 

Ron just nodded. ‘You’re really tall.’ Was all he could say and everyone let out a small chuckle.

‘Yes, I am, but I’ve met your father before and he’s quite tall as well.’ Remus said thoughtfully, folding his hands behind his back. ‘I’m sure you’ll be towering over me in no time.’

‘I’m not so sure.’ He said a little uncertain.

‘Harry go and get your shoes.’ Lily said and Harry and Ron ran off up the stairs.

‘Mrs Weasley.’ Remus greeted and again extended his hand.

‘Oh please, call me Molly.’ She said smiling and taking his hand.

‘Molly, I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting before now?’ Remus couldn’t quite recall having met the kind eyed woman before.

‘Unfortunately not, surprising given two of my sons in particular.’ She rolled her eyes and Remus chuckled. ‘Ron isn’t like that though, you shouldn’t have too much trouble with him. Takes him a little while to get things and he gets frustrated when he doesn’t get something first time, but he’s a good boy otherwise.’

‘Sounds like he just needs a little encouragement and a lot of patience.’ He smiled.

The two boys came running down the stairs again and Harry was still putting his shoes on, while Ron was telling him a story about dragons in Romania. 

‘Right you two, off we go.’ Molly said and Lily went to see the three of them out of the house, thanking Molly again for taking Harry into town.

Remus sat down and tried to ignore the look James had been giving him. 

‘You’re always such a charmer Remus.’ Lily said coming back into the kitchen and sat at the table, sipping her tea. ‘When are you going to use that charm to find a girlfriend?’

‘I think he already has.’ James cut in before Remus could speak.

‘What?’ Lily exclaimed. ‘So is that why you haven’t written for weeks?’

Remus could feel himself growing slightly uncomfortable. ‘Erm… No, not exactly.’

‘Who is she?’ Lily pried, smiling eagerly. ‘When do we get to meet her? You should’ve brought her with you.’

Remus rubbed the back of his neck and felt himself getting very warm under his skin. ‘Well, she’s not in the country just now… On a research trip actually.’

‘What does she research?’ Lily’s questioning was getting a bit much and Remus just sipped his tea, thinking how best to explain.

‘It’s Lockwood isn’t it?’ James cut in again. Remus felt his face go bright red. ‘It is! I knew it, I knew you liked her more than you let on.’

‘Wait a moment,’ Lily interrupted. ‘Lockwood? Do you mean Angie Lockwood, the werewolf expert? Is she not still at school?’

‘No, Angelina is not a student anymore and she is an eighteen year old woman, for your information.’ Remus said to James in particular.

‘Eighteen is still young Remus.’ Lily commented and Remus immediately felt frustrated. ‘Not that there’s anything wrong with seeing someone younger, I just meant that she won’t have had the life experience you do.’

‘She’s had a surprisingly large amount of experience I haven’t actually.’ Remus said matter of factly. ‘She has an Order of Merlin First Class, she won the Triwizard cup and she’s the world’s leading expert in Lycanthropy.’

‘Well, it’s not hard to see why you’re attracted to her then.’ Lily took a mouthful of tea and Remus gave her a questioning look. ‘You always liked the girls that challenged you.’

‘And the pretty ones. Angie is a very good looking individual.’ James added.

‘Careful or I really will leave with Remus.’ Lily warned playfully. James held his hands up in surrender and Remus chuckled at their banter. 

‘She doesn’t seem to put up with any of your crap either.’ James said, casually. 

‘She hasn’t needed to.’ Remus suddenly realised. They both knew what he was saying, usually if he ever got close to anyone, he’d make up some rubbish excuse to end things just before it turned into anything. But he was in far too deep with Angelina and she wouldn’t have to go through that, Remus wasn’t sure how she would react to it anyway, she probably wouldn’t understand.

‘So, what’s she like? Really? I’ve heard a lot about her, that she’s very intelligent, obviously, her father doesn’t stop talking about how smart his daughter is. But I hear she’s a bit of a show off?’

‘A little.’ Remus shrugged, staring at a spot on the floor and thinking about the Angelina he knew. ‘She’s… Kind mostly, extraordinarily intelligent, staggering really, brave beyond belief, more than she knows… She’s not as confident as she let’s on, don’t get me wrong she can put on a show when she needs to, she can make entire crowds stand in stunned silence, can charm anyone she likes to make a point, she even had the minister questioning his own beliefs at her first speech, she was so eloquent with her words… But when it comes to talking about herself or how she feels or what she wants, she’s quiet and nervous. Sometimes it’s not easy talking to that side of her, but she makes the effort and I try and help her where I can. I’m not exactly an expert when it comes to letting people know how I feel.’ Remus chuckled and looked up at his two friends who were just smiling at him. 

‘You’re in love with her.’ Lily said and Remus could see the happiness pour from her.

‘Yes, I am.’ It was more a realisation, saying it out loud for the first time and he felt the weight that it carried. ‘Absolutely.’ He said quietly and finished his tea.

‘You’ll have to bring her with you next time.’ James said, taking the mugs to the sink and giving them a quick rinse. 

‘Maybe.’ Remus thought how possibly the last thing Angelina would want was to make a bad impression on his friends. ‘She would probably panic.’ He chuckled. ‘She gets like that sometimes.’

‘Well, we’re not going to bite.’ Lily chuckled and handed her mug to James for him to rinse. ‘I just want to meet the woman who’s managed to tame the beast after all these years.’ Lily winked at Remus who just laughed.

‘Maybe not next time, but at some point. I don’t want to push her any further into anything she’s isn’t ready for.’ He explained. 

‘Ah, I see.’ Lily had a faint blush across her cheeks.

‘What do you see?’ James said drying his hands again.

Lily gave Remus a look. ‘Well, one of us is going to have to say it.’ She said and Remus felt his face light up again.

‘She…’ He started, clearing his throat. ‘She didn’t… When she was at school… You know how teenagers can be and she… I mean she had a friend, but they didn’t… You know-‘

‘Remus was her first.’ Lily saved him from making anymore of a mess than he already had done.

‘Oh.’ James said slowly. ‘I see… Nice.’

Lily just shook her head and rolled her eyes, giving in entirely. 

‘Yes well,’ Remus cleared his throat again. ‘I just… She’s not good at the talking side of things and I’m giving her time and space to figure things out.’

‘I don’t understand.’ Lily said, shaking her head.

‘Well then I’ve got no hope.’ James chuckled sitting down and holding his wife’s hand, stroking his thumb over the back of her hand. Remus enjoyed watching the two of them together and he had always wanted to find someone he could have that with, the love they had was so perfect.

‘She hasn’t said how she feels about me in so many words.’ Remus tried to explain. ‘She’s struggling to comprehend what she’s feeling and can’t process it in the same way we do.’

‘She’s logical.’ Lily said, understanding. ‘You find it a lot with people who are very intellectual, sponges for information, but they struggle with facial expressions and social cues.’

‘Angelina doesn’t know what she’s feeling and it’s beginning to worry me.’ Remus admitted for the first time. He had been thinking it for a long time, that maybe she didn’t feel the same thing he did and he’d end up heartbroken when she eventually decides that he isn’t good enough for her or not what she wants.

‘Oh Remus.’ Lily said quietly leaning over the table. ‘I’m sure she just needs a little time to work it out. That’s what happens with people like her, they think around it from every possible angle until they’re able to compare it to something they know and recognise and they have a moment where everything is crystal clear. You just wait, it’ll happen.’

Remus just smiled. ‘I hope so.’ 

He spent the remainder of the day with Lily and James, just talking and catching up, Harry had come home just before dinner and Remus had helped Lily make it while James kept Harry occupied with what he’d bought. It was like old times, but the problem was that for the first time ever he felt like Angelina should have been there with him, like she was the thing that kept him grounded. Lily just smiled at him, a recognition that he was lost in his thoughts of Angelina. 

James had been seeing Harry up to bed when Remus decided it was time for him to leave to get back to the castle.

‘Are you sure? It’s very late, you could always stay the night and head back tomorrow?’ Lily offered as Remus stood up from the sofa.

‘No, I’ve got a lot of work to do before I head to Bulgaria next week, I’d best get back before I’m yet again noticed by my absence.’ Remus chuckled a little and Lily went with him to the door. 

‘Well, travel safely.’ Lily said and reached up to hug him. Remus wrapped his arms around his old friend and just held her for a moment longer than usual. ‘Stay patient Remus.’ She whispered and he smiled, letting her go.

‘You off?’ James said coming down the stairs.

‘Damn, he came down too soon.’ Remus joked.

‘Have to be quicker next time.’ Lily chuckled.

‘You two think you’re so funny.’ James rolled his eyes. ‘Are you going to be alright heading back?’

‘I’ll be fine.’ Remus said, shaking James’s hand in farewell. ‘I promise I’ll write when I get the chance, it won’t be weeks before you hear from me again.’ He promised and opened the door to leave. James and Lily stood in the doorway and Remus felt the cold breeze making the hairs on his skin stand up as he made his way out onto the road. He waved at the Potters, winking at Harry who was at his bedroom window, before disapparating back to the castle.

 

The trek to the ranger site had been every bit as gruelling as Aleksander had said it would be. The top of the mountain was freezing and I was glad I had my thick trousers with me. The climb was the most difficult part, a steep hill that couldn’t be walked, it was more of a rock climbing challenge. Aleksander was patient though, he helped me over the hard parts and kept looking back to see if I was alright. 

Finally, we could see the site and apparated down. It was a little worn down and not really what you’d expect from an information site. There was a man heading out to meet us, he was maybe mid forties and looked like he had done a lot of mountaineering, he was greeting us in Bulgarian.

‘Hello Nico.’ Aleksander said in English and the man understood.

‘Aleksander.’ He said smiling.

‘This is Angie Lockwood, she’s researching here.’

‘Yes, I’ve heard.’ Nico eyed me curiously. ‘You’re here to study wild wolf packs?’ I nodded. ‘Well, anything we can do to help, just let us know.’ I could feel the sneakoscope in my pocket spinning a little. ‘My name is Nico and I am the lead ranger for the park. Come in, you must be tired after the hike.’ He said and took us into the site building.

It was a little worn inside and it was clear the building had been there a very long time. There were a few people interested in who had arrived, but mostly they all had a quick look and got back to work. The walls were littered with maps and information posters, things like staying safe whilst camping, following the paths when you can and sending up red sparks if you got stuck anywhere.

We went into Nico’s office which was a little battered, but he looked right at home. He sat and offered us both a glass of water which we happily took. 

‘Now, Miss Lockwood,’ Nico said, getting down to business. ‘You’ve obviously come a long way to our site, there must have been a reason. What can we do to help you?’

I sipped my water and cleared my throat. ‘I was wondering if you could tell me what’s known about the wild pack, about Dimitri and Kasha? Aleksander said that Kasha makes visits to you once a month, can you tell me what normally happens?’

Nico shifted a little, but didn’t look like he wasn’t going to answer the question. ‘Of course, Kasha is a little more civilised than Dimitri, she speaks fluently whereas I’m not sure I’ve ever heard Dimitri speak before. She gives us updates mostly on where the pack will be transforming over night and we try to keep people away from the area. We call in any patrols we have in the mountains and they pick up anyone they see making camp for the night. Kasha comes down in the morning and if anyone was hurt she brings them to us where do our best to help, but often it’s a lost cause.’

‘Are there often any accidents?’ I asked.

‘Not as often as is believed by the surrounding muggle resorts.’ Nico leaned back and I could feel the sneakoscope starting to dig into my leg with its spinning. ‘If there are any accidents we take care of it.’

‘How?’

I watched as a something flashed over Nico’s face. ‘We assess the situation and make a judgment call.’ It sounded a lot like a warning.

I could see Aleksander shifting in his seat as well. ‘I heard they keep the red cap population under control?’

‘Yes.’ Nico seemed a little more comfortable with the change of subject. ‘They hunt them and keep the numbers low, the red caps here breed like no one’s business.’ Nico laughed a little. ‘But Dimitri takes care of that for us, in exchange we let them stay in the park.’

There was something off about that sentence, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. 

‘I heard you give them medical supplies where they need it as well?’

‘If Kasha asks.’ Nico said and something I recognised happened behind his eyes. It unnerved me a little. ‘You must understand that these creatures have lived the same way for centuries now, they are accustomed to living a certain way and we try not to interfere with that too much.’

I could feel the sneakoscope was going crazy in my pocket and I was half sure it had drawn blood against my leg. 

‘Well, I think that’ll be enough to be getting on with.’ I said, not being able to take the sneakoscope digging any further into my leg. 

‘Of course, come back any time and remember to stay safe out there tonight.’ Nico said, the sneakoscope stopped spinning, at least that part was genuine. We stood up and I grabbed my rucksack, shaking hands with Nico and leaving with Aleksander. ‘Have you got everything you need to set up camp tonight Aleksander?’

‘Yes, we should be fine. It’s only one night and tomorrow we’ll hike back down to the sanctuary.’ He explained. I looked around the office area where it looked like a patrol had just come back from a hike. 

‘Thank you again for taking the time to see me.’ I said as we got outside the site.

‘It’s no problem.’ Nico held his hands up. ‘Next time you’re here, I will give you a tour of the whole site but I am aware your time is short just now.’

‘Thanks Nico.’ Aleksander said and I could definitely feel something dripping down my leg.

‘Any time.’

I grabbed Aleksander’s arm and we apparated to a small cave half way up the mountain, it was a little cooler, but the sun was directly on us so it didn’t seem that bad. He began setting up a tent inside the cave and I sat down on a nearby rock that looked out at the staggeringly beautiful view.

‘Gorgeous.’ I said to myself and began taking the sneakoscope out of my pocket. There was a little blood on it and I immediately checked in case it was broken. It seemed to be in good condition.

‘Angie!’ Aleksander exclaimed. ‘You’re bleeding.’ He kneeled in front of me looking very concerned.

‘It’s fine.’ I chuckled. ‘Just a small cut. The sneakoscope was digging into my leg while we were talking to Nico.’ I explained and Aleksander frowned.

‘What do you mean?’ He asked. ‘Nico is the lead ranger, he’s not hiding anything.’

‘I wouldn’t have a cut on my leg if he wasn’t hiding something.’ I told Aleksander without really thinking about it. He stood up and sighed.

‘I’ve known Nico for many years, his intentions are good.’ Aleksander seemed like he was trying to convince himself more than anything. ‘You want me to help?’ He pointed to the cut.

‘It’s okay, I can take care of it.’ I shook my head, he was clearly upset about something, so I decided to give him a little space while I cleaned up.

Aleksander had been in a bad mood most of the evening and I’d been writing to Remus when he finally decided to come and sit out in the night air with me. He’d built a small fire, but I still felt the need to put a blanket around my shoulders as well. Aleksander smiled at me and took a seat in one of the deck chairs he kept in the tent.

Remus,

I think you’re right, something is definitely wrong. I was at the ranger site today and I met the lead ranger Nico, he seemed to be hiding something when I asked him about the pack, didn’t give me anything more than what Aleksander had already told me. I’m not sure the meeting with the Bulgarian minister is going to be friendly in the slightest.

Still no sign of the pack, though I’m hoping to catch sight of them tonight, but I’m not even sure that they’re on this side of the park. Aleksander says they move around a lot so maybe I’ll be luckier another night.

I’ll tell you more when you get here, we’ve got a long hike back down the hill tomorrow and I can’t wait to see you. I heard Dumbledore set up a portkey to bring you straight to the sanctuary tomorrow morning? At least it’ll be quicker than my journey over.

Hope your visit with the Potters went well.

Yours

Angelina

I left the book open in front of me, figuring there wasn’t much else I could be doing, I may as well wait for a reply if he was still up.

‘You write a lot.’ Aleksander said, watching me. I frowned. ‘I see you writing in that book all the time and sometimes I think I see the writing disap-‘ he stopped and looked at the book, where sure enough to writing began fading away. I smiled.

‘That means my message has been received.’ I told him. ‘I was given this on my birthday by someone very important to me. He has the other parchment and if I write on the inside cover, he can see what I’ve written instantly.’ I tried to explain. ‘It’s just a charm, but it’s a good one.’

‘You write to him a lot.’ Aleksander noted. ‘He must be a very special person.’

‘He is.’ I smiled, thinking of just how special Remus was. 

‘And here I thought I had a chance with you.’ Aleksander said and I frowned, not quite understanding what he meant. ‘What’s his name?’

‘Remus.’ I said. ‘He’s coming to the sanctuary tomorrow, he’ll be with me when I have my meeting with the Bulgarian minister.’

‘The minister won’t be happy with that.’ Aleksander warned.

‘Maybe not, but he’ll just have to get over it.’ I said and looked down to see Remus had written back. 

Angelina,

That sounds like something to keep an eye on, I’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow, another portkey to get me back to the castle. The couple of weeks before the start of term are always busiest and the moon comes up in a few days so I’d prefer to be away from a populated area at that point.

I’m sure you’ll see the pack soon the full moon will occur a little later than mine, just remember to keep your distance and stay safe, keep Aleksander with you. Please don’t take any risks, especially not with a wild pack, they are so unpredictable and do not take any kind of Wolfsbane to keep them lucid. I can’t lose you.

I’ll admit I was a little apprehensive when I heard about your trip over, but I’m glad Dumbledore took a little pity on me where the travel was concerned. David has agreed to meet me just outside the sanctuary, so don’t worry too much about trying to rush back, just stay safe. 

I’ll tell you about my visit to James and Lily tomorrow, they seem eager to invite us both over for dinner at some point, but we can talk about whether you’d like to or not when I get there.

Good night and I’ll see you tomorrow.

Yours

Remus

I smiled at the letter and tapped the cover. ‘Message read.’ I said and Aleksander gave me a strange look and I just chuckled, looking up at the stars and getting beyond excited to see Remus the next day.


	13. I Missed You

Remus woke early, looking out at the morning sky, he ached a little and immediately drank his Silvermint Tea and stretching out. He couldn’t wait to see Angelina and spent the morning packing his rucksack, he was only staying over night and didn’t need much. The portkey was just outside the gates for ease and he arrived a few minutes before it was due to leave.

He ate some chocolate and waited until it was time to go. Remus had taken portkeys before, but usually only from one end of the country to the other. The weather was usually the same and taking a portkey from the comparatively cold air of Hogwarts castle to the what seemed to be sweltering landscape of the Bulgarian Sanctuary was a harsh reminder of why he usually preferred slower methods of transport. 

‘Professor Lupin.’ A familiar voice called and Remus turned to see David jogging over to him.

‘David, I’m not your professor anymore, call me Remus.’ He said and shook David’s hand. 

‘Fair enough. You think the sun’s going to go away?’ David chuckled, pointing to where Remus was carrying his suit jacket under his arm. He had chosen to just wear one of his old shirts that he didn’t mind getting a little dirty, but decided it would have been foolish to wear the jacket.

‘Oh no, but the meeting will be taking place inside the Bulgarian ministry department, tends to be a little cooler in those buildings and looking smart never hurts ones case.’ Remus suddenly felt incredibly old.

‘I’ll remember that one.’ David said and led Remus towards the sanctuary where he could see dozens of Thestrals being led around. Angelina had been right, the whole area was truly stunning, a haven for most creatures. He could see the lake she had spoken about and wondered if she had gone swimming there yet. ‘Can you see them?’ David asked and Remus frowned at him. ‘The Thestrals? Can you see them? I only ask because Angie can’t, I have to guide her around them otherwise she walks straight into them and some of the less well trained ones don’t take to that too kindly.’

‘Oh.’ Remus chuckled. ‘Yes, I can see them. Are you enjoying your time here?’

‘Yeah it’s great, I’ve learnt more Bulgarian and I try and use it where I can, just like you told me.’ David laughed. ‘The trainers are really great, they’re very good at what they do and they care so much about these creatures. Cassie’s coming to visit in a couple of weeks when she can get some time off, only for a week, but it’ll be nice to see her.’

‘Well, at least you’ll have the week.’ Remus mused, a little jealous that he wouldn’t even get a full day with Angelina. A week would be outrageously lucky.

‘Oh yeah, sorry.’ David apologised. ‘I know you’re only here for the meeting, I’m sure Angie will appreciate it all the same.’

‘We’ll see how she is after the meeting.’ Remus mused. ‘How is she otherwise?’

‘I thought you’d spoken to her?’

‘I have a few times, she says she’s enjoying her time, but I’d rather hear your version of events.’ Remus said and David nodded in understanding.

‘Well, she’s not actually around a lot of the time.’ He said and they stopped just outside Angelina’s cabin. ‘Mostly hiking up in the mountains with Aleksander. He’s been taking her to all the areas the pack usually occupies and showing her some of the other things that live there… If you ask me, he kind of likes her, but you know what Angie’s like, she probably hasn’t noticed anything. She’s good though, loving the weather and loving the research, bit disappointed she hasn’t seen Dimitri yet, but I’m sure if she keeps up the work she will do.’

‘Dimitri?’

‘The pack leader. Apparently he’s a beast of a man, no pun intended.’ David raised his eyebrows and Remus just chuckled. ‘She knows what she’s doing though, she’ll be fine.’

‘I know.’ Remus suddenly felt unsure of what he could and couldn’t say to David, uncertain of how much Angelina would have revealed to him.

‘I hear you’re coming to Jocelyne and Benji’s wedding?’ He suddenly said and partly answered his unspoken question.

‘Angelina mentioned it yes, obviously it would depend when it was, but she seems keen for me to go, so I suppose I don’t have much choice.’ Remus chuckled.

‘Yeah, Cassandra asked me to go to her cousins wedding, I learnt the hard way that she wasn’t actually asking.’ David said. ‘It’s hard to imagine Angie like that though. She’s not like most women… I think I’ll just stop talking right there. Slightly awkward talking to my ex professor about his relationship with one of my best friends.’

‘I understand.’ Remus said, chuckling a little.

‘Anyway, this is her cabin.’ David bounded up the wooden steps. ‘She left her key for me to give you when you got here.’ He got the door open and Remus stepped inside. It was slightly cooler than outside, but he knew that Angelina preferred the warmth. The cabin was pretty much as she described, a few more notes lying around than mentioned, but essentially a room with a large table in the middle and a door off to the side, where her bedroom presumably was. Remus saw the map up on the wall and began examining it and seeing the places marked where she had been. ‘You would have thought she’d clean up a bit before you got here.’ David said, just looking at the notes everywhere.

Remus stopped himself from making a comment that her bedroom wasn’t much better, realising that he wasn’t about to take a line of questioning from David about how he knew that.

‘What’s the blank area here on the map?’ Remus asked pointing to an area in the centre that had nothing marked on it, but lots of trails all around it. David wandered over and took a look.

‘Oh that’s the no entry zone.’ He said. ‘We can’t go there, it’s too dangerous and there’s nothing really there anyway, maybe the odd nest of something, but nothing worth going to see.’

‘I can think of someone who might not agree with that assessment.’ Remus said, knowing that if it was left blank, Angelina would want to explore it and find out what was up there.

‘Well, she’ll have to brush up on her mountaineering then, she’s not the best climber. She’s not had too many accidents, but one accident up there could kill someone.’ David said, Remus had a feeling that the lack of climbing experience still wouldn’t stop her from attempting it. ‘Anyway, she’ll be back soon. Fancy a walk around some of the paddocks before she does?’

‘Sure.’ Remus nodded and put his jacket and rucksack over one of the chairs. David handed him the key to the cabin and he made sure to lock it on his way out.

‘Are you not warm?’ David asked, referring to the fact that he was wearing trousers and a shirt, the shirt was rolled up and untucked, but still.

‘No, it takes a lot for my temperature to shift in either direction.’ Remus chuckled.

‘Lucky in that respect I guess.’

‘I suppose.’ He shrugged and David took him into the forest where there were baby Thestrals running around in one of the paddocks. Remus could see the mother keeping an eye on the trainers with them, but allowing them to get close to her children.

‘She’s really well trained.’ David explained as they leaned on the low wooden fencing. ‘But when it comes to her children, only Vik is allowed in the paddock and even then he doesn’t dare risk touching them without her consent. Thestrals are very protective of their young.’

Remus watched the bulky man known as Vik running around with the baby Thestrals chasing after him, the mother occasionally wandering close just to make sure her children were safe. 

They soon moved onto another paddock where the Thestrals were a little bigger and being trained by a small woman, who was maybe half the size of them. She was feisty and didn’t let them get away with anything and it made Remus laugh a little at her determination. 

‘That's Elena, she's been here nearly ten years, straight out of Beauxbatons into the sanctuary and just never left.’ David said. ‘She's one of the best trainers here.’

‘She's certainly stern.’ Remus chuckled. They watched as Elena herded the Thestrals out of the training paddock and into the free roaming paddock, before she spotted David and waved, heading over to see him.

‘David.’ She said. ‘Who's your friend?’ She had very pretty features, Remus couldn't help but notice, her eyes being very dark and her dark hair curling around her shoulders.

‘This is my old Professor, Remus Lupin. This is Elena.’ David introduced them both. Elena extended her hand to Remus who took it kindly.

‘Pleasure to meet you, Elena.’ Remus said.

‘I'm sure it could be.’ She said, invading Remus’ space a little. He took half a step back, a little startled by the attention.

‘Easy Elena, he's taken.’ David laughed.

‘Shame.’ She said and walked away, not before letting her eyes drift over Remus’s entire body, making him feel very self conscious. David just shook his head as if this was a regular occurrence. 

It wasn’t long before they heard someone shouting, David seemed slightly concerned. The shouting occurred again and he ran towards the sound. Remus found himself in the middle of the sanctuary again and two people could be seen running very fast down the hill opposite the forest. It was difficult to see and it looked as if a sheet of red was following them.

‘Red Caps!’ David yelled and both he and Remus sprinted with a few other trainers over to where the two people were running. ‘It’s Aleksander and Angie.’ He said. 

Remus could suddenly see the one further behind was in fact Angelina, she looked as if she was struggling to move her legs fast enough behind the muscular man in front of her. That was when Remus’s heart sank, she tripped over a rock and began falling down the hill. David and the other trainers had their wands raised and were pushing back the Red Caps that were swinging their weapons at Aleksander and Angelina. Remus had done his part and Angelina had managed to get back to her feet and sprinted as fast as she could. They were so close. 

He heard her shout something before darting over to a rock, lifting off and transforming into the huge wolf and barking at the Red Caps who fell back and began running in the other direction out of fear. She gave them a little chase back up the hill, before changing back and staggering down towards where just about everyone except David and Remus stood in wonder.

Angelina got to the sanctuary border finally and fell onto the floor next to Aleksander where they both caught their breath. David, Remus and few other trainers went over to them immediately to see if they were injured. That was when they both started laughing.

‘Maybe we shouldn’t do that again?’ Aleksander said, his accent wasn’t that strong.

‘Maybe you should watch were you’re apparating to.’ She shot back and looked up. ‘Remus!’ She exclaimed and jumped to her feet, falling into his arms. She felt a little heavier, like she was avoiding put any weight on her legs. He breathed her in and just took a moment to feel her. ‘I’ve missed you.’ She said quietly against his ear.

‘I’ve missed you too.’ He never wanted to let her go again.

‘So, this is Remus?’ Aleksander said and Angelina let him go. The trainers had begun getting back to work, no one really phased by the fact they had just been chased down a hill by Red Caps. Remus extended his hand to the man, almost as tall as him, but definitely more muscular than him. Remus instinctively slid his arm around Angelina’s waist and held her close to him.

‘Aleksander I presume?’ Remus gave a tight smile in greeting. 

‘Yes, I’ve been hiking with Angie while she’s here. Showing her the mountains.’ He smiled and wiped off any dirt he had on his trousers. 

‘She mentioned.’

‘You know, as much as I’m enjoying you both meeting for the first time,’ Angelina said. ‘I really need to change the bandage on my leg.’

‘Of course.’ Aleksander said, with a disturbingly charming smile. ‘Good luck with your meeting, let me know how it goes.’ He said and hugged Angelina. Remus felt a flash of jealously flood him for a moment, before Aleksander pulled away and limped off towards another cabin, just behind Angelina’s.

She pulled Remus a little to get him to follow her towards her cabin, while she and David talked about anything she missed.

‘Not a lot.’ David said, thrusting his hands in his pockets. ‘Vik’s doing well with the newborns, that’s about it to be honest. And of course, your boyfriend showing up.’ Remus could see Angelina cringing at the word. Remus felt far too old to be anyone’s boyfriend.

‘Thanks for that.’ She said and they arrived outside her cabin. David gave her a quick hug and said his goodbye, while Remus handed over her key.

 

Remus had a strange look about him, he didn’t take his eyes off of me and tightened his grip around my waist when Aleksander had shaken his hand. I got the cabin door open and dropped my rucksack, not caring where it landed and headed straight for the bathroom to turn on the shower. 

‘Sorry, I just really need a shower.’ I said, apologising. I closed the front door and watched Remus just look at me. ‘What?’

‘I haven’t seen you for two weeks.’ He said simply. I felt for him and knew what he was getting at. I felt my leg twinge, but not enough to stop me from walking up to Remus and kissing him with everything I had. He held my face, my waist, my hips, everything he could reach, while he kissed me intensely. ‘I’ve missed you so much Angelina.’ He said in between kisses.

‘I’ve missed you too.’ I said, feeling my body ache in all sorts of places. ‘Remus, I need to sit down.’ I said finally. I couldn’t quite handle the pain in my leg any more and went into the bedroom to take my boots off.

‘Why do you have a bandage on your leg?’ Remus asked and I could tell he was a little upset by it.

I took my trousers off as he closed the bedroom door. ‘It was the sneakoscope.’ I said, carefully prying away the dressing. ‘Ow, I was talking to Nico and it was in my pocket. Ow, damn it.’ It was stuck to the skin and I was feeling a little squeamish.

‘Here.’ Remus offered and kneeled down in front of me, keeping me distracted enough to help me get the rest off. ‘Why didn’t you just take it out of your pocket?’

‘I didn’t want Nico to know that I had it on me.’ I explained. ‘He was talking about the procedure he followed if there’s an accident at the full moon, he wasn’t exactly telling me everything and I decided that revealing the fact I had a sneakoscope in my pocket wasn’t the best plan.’

Remus finished and he handed me my wand. I began muttering the incantation to help the cut heal properly. ‘I asked you to be careful.’ He said and sighed.

‘I was as careful as I could be.’ I shot back. ‘I chose the lesser of two options, either come back with a small cut or risk something worse happening.’

He stood up and leaned against the wall. ‘I know, I’m just… I’ve just missed you and I don’t like finding that you’ve been hurt in any way. I get worried.’

‘I know you do.’ I said, standing up and wandering over to kiss him again. He wrapped his hands around my hips underneath my t shirt and I tried to have confidence with what I was about to say. ‘I… I’ve been thinking about something.’ I felt my face turning pink and Remus frowned, smiling at me, wondering what exactly was going through my mind. ‘When I’ve been… You know.’ I cleared my throat. 

‘I really need to start practicing Legilimency if we’re going to have conversations like this.’ He said and I rolled my eyes. ‘What exactly have you been thinking about?’

I took a step back and took a breath. ‘Okay… I’ve been thinking about the shower.’ I said, Remus just frowned again. ‘I shower on my own.’

I watched as he took a deep breath and realised what I was asking. ‘I see. And this is a problem?’ He knew full well what I was asking and was purposely dancing around the subject.

‘Well, yes… Hey, I’d better get credit for trying to ask.’ I defended.

‘Yes you do.’ Remus pushed off from the wall and slowly leaned down brushing his lips against mine. ‘Ask me.’ His voice wasn’t quite as heavy as I’d heard it before, but it was pretty close.

‘I want to take a shower with you.’ I suddenly said and Remus pressed his lips to mine, moaning slightly and running his hands under the hem of my t shirt. I felt the confidence that I figured most people felt in normal relationships and it was a little thrilling. Remus slipped his shoes off and kicked them away, before looking down at me and smiling. ‘Can I take that as a yes?’ I asked, only half sincerely.

Remus just gave me a strange frown, he picked up my wand from the bed and locked my bedroom door with it. He checked his watch and made a decision. He very slowly began unbuttoning his shirt. ‘Some people enjoy making love underneath the hot water,’ he said, reverting back to his teaching voice and it sent a small rush of excitement through me. ‘I, personally, prefer the comfort of a bed.’ He said, but before I could think he was was saying no, he pressed a kiss to me and breathed me in again. ‘You’re very brave Angelina, I’m not saying no, but I’m not convinced you’re ready for this.’ Remus said, he stripped his shirt off and I worried what he had in mind. 

‘So, you’re saying no for now?’ I asked, a little disappointed.

‘Sort of. I still want to take a shower with you and I still want to make you happy.’ Remus kissed me again and I placed my hands on his lean waist, he made a small noise like a whimper. I could feel him sliding his hands down to the hem of my t shirt and slowly pulling it off of me, I felt a little self conscious. ‘I think you’re beautiful.’ It was like he knew what I was thinking and made my doubts seem petty. 

Remus kissed me again and spun me around so I had my back to him. He chuckled at my non-existent gracefulness, and ran his mouth over my neck. I could feel his beard dragging along every nerve ended on my neck and shoulder and it made me let out a breathy moan, which only had Remus that much more eager to kiss me. He suddenly stopped.

‘What’s wrong?’ I asked.

‘Nothing… You don’t mind if I put a silencing charm up do you?’ He said it almost in that husky voice that I liked, but it wasn’t quite there.

‘I don’t.’ I said. ‘But why do want to?’ I asked and he full on laughed into the crook of my neck. ‘What?’

‘I just sometimes forget that your so inexperienced.’ Remus said and wandered away from me to find his wand, making quick work of the charm. I decided that I wasn’t exactly keen on his comment and took the rest of my clothes off. When he turned around, his eyes widened a little and his mouth hung open, before he could take a step towards me, I turned on my heel and headed straight for the shower.

I stepped under the hot water and just let it run over my aching body. I felt the sting of the water running over a few of my cuts and scrapes from falling down the hill, but it didn’t really bother me that much. I heard Remus entering the bathroom and I turned around to see him leaning against the door frame. ‘Was it something I said?’ He had a curious frown on his face and I could see him trying not to look at anything below my eyes.

‘I don’t like you… Noticing things like that.’ I admitted. He frowned a little deeper. ‘I hate that I don’t know how to do this. I’m trying.’ I said, exasperated and closed my eyes leaning back into the water and running my hands through my hair.

‘Some men wouldn’t just notice.’ Remus said and I opened my eyes to watch him. ‘Some men would enjoy your inexperience in the worst possible way. They would make you feel inadequate and make you feel like an object in their possession… I’m not trying to make you feel like that.’

‘That’s not how I feel.’ I said and saw him deflate in relief slightly. ‘I just… I’m still figuring this out and I need you to help me, I don’t understand what you mean by what you just said about being an object and it’s frustrating.’ Leaned back against the cool wall. ‘I want you to just say these things plain and clear.’

Remus smiled to himself a little and took a breath. ‘So, you want me to be clearer in my intentions?’

‘Yes.’ 

‘Okay, I can do that.’ He said and smiled. ‘Can I get in the shower now?’

I couldn’t help letting out a small chuckle and nodding. Remus loosened his belt and stripped off his trousers and underwear. He stepped in and stood under the water like I had and ran his hand through his now wet hair. He looked down at me and gently leaned in to kiss me.

‘I put up the silencing charm,’ he started, never straying too far from my lips and using the heavy voice I liked. ‘Because you made a noise that I enjoyed. Knowing that I was the one who caused that turned me on a lot more than I’d even admit to myself and by turned on, I mean I was very aroused by you moaning against me.’

I swallowed thickly, realising what it was he was doing. ‘I understand the concept of being turned on.’ I said, my voice cracking in the middle of the sentence.

Remus chuckled a little. ‘The charm was because I have intentions of hearing that noise again, mostly through being inside you… Is this clear enough for you?’ He asked and I didn’t know what to say. I was a little shocked, not really knowing that anyone could talk this way and it have the effect on me that it was having.

‘Yes.’ I breathed.

‘Good.’ Remus smiled and pressed another kiss to my lips. He ran his hands up my sides and brushed his thumbs over the side of my breasts, I let out a small sigh that had him smiling against my lips. ‘Will you do something for me?’ He asked quietly.

‘Sure.’ I nodded.

‘Will you stand under the water for me? I just want to see you running your hands through your hair again.’ I could see that Remus was a little red in his cheeks, but I just smiled and nodded.

I stepped under the water and Remus took half a step back to give me a little room to move, but mostly give him room to watch me. I suddenly felt myself going red, but took a deep breath, closed my eyes and concentrated on how the hot water felt running down my body. Instinctively I brought my hands up and brushed the water through my hair. I felt Remus stand just a touch closer to me, his fingers tracing over my skin and forcing small noises to escape my throat, it seemed like hours before I opened my eyes again. He just felt so good I just wanted this to be it forever.

I could see something happening behind Remus’ eyes, a decision had been made. He leaned down and pressed a hot kiss to my lips. ‘Thank you.’ It was a very heavy whisper and I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck, wanting to feel him pressed up against me. He ran his hands over part of my body he could reach, gently squeezing, caressing and worshipping everything he touched. 

‘I want you.’ I whispered, not quite realising it was me that had said it and it just made Remus all the more turned on. His mouth found my neck and my shoulder and he began kissing and gently biting the skin, again slowing down just a little to stop himself going too far.

Remus reached around and turned the shower off. Before I could even ask for an explanation, he lifted me up and wrapped my legs around his waist, still kissing my neck and shoulder. I felt him carry me into the bedroom and carefully lay me down on the bed before continuing his exploration of my collarbone and chest. 

He ventured further down and caught my nipple between his lips, gently sucking and again I let out a breathy moan, running my hands through his hair and encouraging him to keep doing what he was doing. Remus didn’t go any further down, instead he came back up and kissed me, lightly running his hand over my thigh and nudging my centre.

For a moment, he just looked at me, almost a disbelief in his eyes and I frowned, not quite understanding it. Remus gave a small chuckle. ‘I just can’t believe I get to do this.’ He said and I smiled, whatever he had meant by men treating me like an object, I didn’t feel anything like that, not when he was looking at me like that. Remus barely gave warning, before slowly sliding himself inside me. I threw my head back and just felt myself becoming fuller and fuller. Remus growled into my neck and his grip momentarily tightened on my thigh. It took us both a moment, just feeling each other and getting used to the feeling. ‘Are you alright?’ Remus whispered. ‘You’re so tight, I don’t want to hurt you.’ He said sincerely.

‘You’re not.’ I moaned. ‘It feels good.’ And that was all he needed to begin moving, sliding in and out of me. Filling me entirely with every thrust. It wasn’t painful, not in the slightest, it wasn’t sore, it was just good. Everything about it was good, everything felt like it should feel, euphoric. ‘Remus.’ I moaned a little loudly and I stilled, making him slow a little. 

He looked at me and tried to work out what had happened, before realising what it was. He smiled and gently kissed my jaw. ‘The charm is still up. You can say my name as loud as you want.’ He grazed his teeth over the area he had kissed and that frantic energy shot straight through me, making me tighten around him, something he seemed to enjoy.

Remus ran his hand further down my thigh, to the curve of my arse and squeezed it, pulling my hips up and thrusting a little deeper inside me. I didn’t even bother to stop myself moaning his name as Remus began picking up speed and that energy became frantic again, ready to explode. He scraped his teeth over my jaw again and that was it. I felt myself tighten around him and my nails dug into his back a little, not that he seemed to mind, in fact he gave one more deep thrust and followed me over the edge.

We both just lay tangled in each other for a while, just catching our breath and placing lazy kisses on whatever part of each other we could reach. I had a moment where something flittered across my mind, a thought. I didn’t move, hoping the thought would come back, it had been the word, the word I had been looking for, I was sure of it.

Remus noticed that I had stilled and leaned up on his elbows to see me. He frowned.

‘It’s gone.’ I said. ‘I was close.’ I shook my head. Remus suddenly looked very pained.

‘You mean you didn’t?’ He asked and his eyes drifted lower than my eyes for a moment. I didn’t quite understand. ‘I thought you came, I’m so sorry.’ He said and began kissing me again. I immediately saw how he could have thought that.

‘No, I… I did… That.’ I assured. ‘I just… I had a thought. I figured it out, at least I think I did, but the thought went away. That was all.’ I said and looked up at his relieved face. ‘Out of interest what would you do if I hadn’t?’

Remus just laughed and gave me a cheeky grin. ‘I would have done anything you wanted.’ He said and kissed me again. Remus slowly removed himself from inside me. ‘I think I need another shower.’ He chuckled and I could see the small amount of sweat drying on his forehead.

He stood up and wandered over to where he had taken his watch off. ‘How long until we need to go to this meeting?’

‘An hour.’ Remus said and ran his hand through his hair, just watching me. He sighed and climbed on top of me to place one more kiss against me. ‘You’re so beautiful.’ He said quietly and I was reminded of the first time he’d said that, back in his office only a few months earlier. I brought my hands up, just to brush through the patches of hair on his face, noticing that he’d let it get a little out of hand and I kind of liked that. He was always well groomed when I was in school and I figured while he didn’t need to, he’d let it grow a little. ‘See something you like?’ Remus asked, smiling at me and enjoying my exploration.

I just smiled and let my hands drift down his neck and collarbone, just feeling around every part of the bone and the skin that stretched over. I soon found my way to his chest and traced carefully over the scars that I could reach, desperately wanting to kiss them again.

‘Angelina.’ He said quietly and I stopped, realising he had his eyes closed, feeling my exploration of him. He slowly opened his eyes. ‘It’s not that I particularly want you to stop, but we only have an hour and I’d like to spend more than an hour doing this with you.’

I chuckled a little and let my hands fall either side of my body. Remus took a small breath and kissed me once more before heading for the shower again. I watched him go, enjoying the view from behind and noticing the scars on his back that I had missed before. 

I eventually got up and got dressed for the meeting, I waited for Remus in the main room of the cabin, having taken down the silencing charm and found Ruben waiting patiently on the work table.

‘Well, hello there.’ I said and Ruben hooted happily. I found a small bowl and put a little food in it for him and filled another one with cool water. I sat down and began reading through the large stack of letters he’d delivered as well as looking curiously at a parcel. ‘Tough flight you’ve had.’ Ruben hooted again and I flicked through the letters looking at who had written to me. Jocelyne and Benji, Jack, Darren, my parents, Clara and one that I couldn’t place.

Remus closed the door behind me and I turned to see him tucking his dark blue shirt into his trousers and smiling at me. He gave me a quick kiss before sitting down and taking a deep breath. I’d opened the doors to let a little air in and the view was nice.

Dear Miss Lockwood,

I have received the draft copy of your book, Lockwood’s Wolfsbane as well as Argus’s recommendation and can have it sent to print within the next week, to be released before the school year starts as I am aware Hogwarts would like to put it on the reading list. I have sent you two copies of the final book and ask that you send us a letter to confirm you have received the books and give your approval or ask that any changes be made. I also ask that you provide us with a little biographical information for us to include in the introduction.

I am aware that you are away on business just now and so have delayed the printing until I hear from you. A contract has been enclosed with this letter and I ask that you read it and sign to say you are happy for me to represent you as your publisher for the release of this book. I would of course be interested in anything else you would like to see published and would happily represent you in any future projects you have.

Regards,

Lysander Stott

Flourish and Blotts Publishers.

I handed the letter and contract to Remus and stood up to get a closer look at the package at the end of the table. It wasn’t that thick, but then the book hadn’t been very long.

‘That’s fantastic news!’ Remus exclaimed and stood up. ‘Those are the books?’

I tore open the paper to find a beautifully designed cover with a picture of a cauldron with turquoise liquid in it at the forefront and a wolf peering into it. The writing was a golden colour and the words ‘Lockwood’s Wolfsbane’ stretched over the top and my name sat in slightly smaller font at the bottom. I suddenly felt the sense of achievement Remus had been talking about. It was like I’d actually done something where there wasn’t a prize at the end, but simply my work presented back to me in a leather bound book that I could be proud of.

I carefully flicked through the pale pages to see all my work right there in front of me, everything I had written, the handwriting had been cleaned up into a more legible font and any diagrams had been made a little clearer as well, but it was my work. I smiled at Remus who was beaming at me. I hugged him tightly and was so glad he was the one I shared this moment with. I was so happy.

‘I’m so very proud.’ Remus said quietly and I pulled back to kiss him, just sighing against him and feeling the moment in its entirety.

‘This is my book.’ I said and looked down at the diagrams of the Silvermint Tea. I had included things like how to grow your own Fresh Mint and taking care of it properly throughout the year. ‘Will you help me go through it tonight?’ I asked Remus.

‘Of course I will.’ He nodded and picked up the contract. ‘Do you want me to read this as well?’

‘Please? I actually don’t know much about them.’ I said, a little surprised that I’d never picked up a book on publishing contracts before I sent mine to Lysander Stott. 

‘That’s okay, I only know a little, but I’m sure we can work it out.’ 

It was coming close to the time we needed to leave for the meeting and we were flying over to the ministry department on brooms, it wasn’t that far and the sun was going down so the temperature was dropping a little. It would be a nice night.


	14. The Bulgarian Minister

The ministry department was an abandoned building on the outskirts of Sofia, the building itself looked like it could’ve been an old business building for some bank or large company. We landed just around the corner, but there weren't any muggles paying attention to us, so no need for us to worry too much. 

The inside was much more extravagant, most of it was white marble and dark mahogany frames. The reception wasn’t as large at the actual ministry, it was more contained, but just as busy. People were pouring out of the building and it was almost like swimming against the tide, just trying to get to the reception desk where a blonde witch stood writing memos and stamping documents.

‘Welcome to the ministry department.’ She said in Bulgarian. I knew enough to understand what she had said.

‘Hi, I’m Angie Lockwood and this is Professor Remus Lupin, we’re here to see the Bulgarian minister. We have a meeting.’ I said, thinking about every word before I said it.

‘You’re Bulgarian is better than most.’ She said in English. ‘But I speak good English.’ She smiled.

‘Thank you.’ I smiled back.

‘The minister is only expecting one of you?’ 

‘Yes, Professor Lupin is my representative.’ I explained.

The witch gave an odd look. ‘May I take your brooms?’ She offered and we handed them over to be stored in a cupboard behind the desk. I had given Remus the sneakoscope to keep in his jacket pocket and we agreed that he would cut in if he felt it spinning, neither one of us wanted any surprises. ‘The minister will just be finishing up with another appointment, but I’ll take you both to the waiting room and he’ll see you when he’s finished.’

‘Thank you.’ I said and we followed her to the lift that reversed before heading upwards to the top floor of the building. It took no time at all and we stepped out into the warmly lit waiting area outside the minister’s office. It was again beautifully decorated with a strange plant on one of the shelves that seemed to be staring at the both of us.

‘Take a seat and the minister will see you soon.’ She said and took the lift back downstairs. 

I looked around the fairly plain room, there was a sofa on one side with a small coffee table just in front of it and books lining the wall on one side with the plant in the centre of the shelf. Remus ran his hand through his hair and sighed. I watched him check his watch and instead of walking around nervously I sat at the end of the sofa, leaning on the arm and throwing my leg over the other. The sleeves of my black jacket were rolled up to reveal both my watches which were now habit that I wore together. I’d worn just my black jeans and black t shirt, thinking that I really should have invested in something to wear to these meetings.

Remus and I didn’t speak as agreed before we got there. Anyone could have been listening and though we had no concrete reason to mistrust the Bulgarian minister, it wouldn’t have been wise to discuss anything that could be later used against us. Remus had eventually sat down and like me, swung his leg over the other. We both checked our watches at the same time, thinking that twenty minutes was rather a long time to make someone wait, when the minister appeared from the door that was presumably his office. He was with another man who he was talking fast to in Bulgarian and I barely picked out any the words.

Remus and I stood up and both took a breath. The minister finished with the man and turned to us. He reminded me a lot of Fudge, a little pink in the cheeks, a strange fake smile plastered to his face that was now his true smile, he had a black moustache that made him look especially overweight and he appeared to tower over me, though he still wasn’t quite as tall as Remus.

‘Miss Lockwood.’ He said and held out his hand in greeting. ‘I’m so glad you made it. I hear you have brought a representative?’

‘Yes, this is Professor Lupin.’ I said and Remus stepped forward holding out his hand. ‘He’s just here to sit in and remind me of anything in case I forget. It’s been a very long few weeks.’

‘I understand. Come in, please.’ He said and led us into his office that wasn’t much different to the waiting area. It was a little bigger and had a warm fire place over to one side, but the minister took a seat at his large mahogany desk and invited us to sit in the two leather chairs just in front of it. ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’ He asked.

‘That would be lovely, thank you.’ I said and the minister waved his wand at the tea making facility behind us. 

‘So, how have you found Bulgaria so far?’ He asked, folding his hands in front of him on the desk.

‘Well, I’ve only really seen the Park and the sanctuary,’ I admitted. ‘But flying over the city was quite breath taking, I shall have to make a trip back at some point to take in the architecture properly.’

‘We are very proud of Sofia, most beautiful city in the world in my opinion, but then I’m not much of a traveller.’ The minister laughed and I politely chuckled with him. ‘And you Professor Lupin? How are finding our country?’

‘Actually, I only arrived today and I’ll be leaving again soon, but I have intentions of coming to see the city as well.’ Remus explained.

‘Well, do make sure you make an effort to see the cathedral, it is truly stunning and at night when it is lit, heavenly as the muggles say.’ The minister laughed again and Remus politely joined him. ‘Well, let’s get down to business.’ He said and our tea cups made their way onto the small table between our two chairs. ‘You’re here to study Dimitri’s pack of wolves-‘

‘Werewolves.’ I corrected him and sipped my tea.

‘Yes, the werewolves.’ The minister said, smiling. ‘I am very keen to keep up with your progress in finding them and making contact. We are very keen to offer them a relocation plan away from the Park and into more suitable settings.’

‘Relocation?’ I asked. ‘The pack has been there longer than any witch or wizard has and longer than any muggle, you can’t expect them to go for that.’

‘Miss Lockwood, please understand that the Park doesn’t just belong to us, but the muggle population as well. It is getting difficult for us to communicate the importance of keeping them away from certain trails and accidents will happen if we fail to do so.’

‘Minister, I’ve not found the pack yet and from the things I’ve heard, I won’t if they don’t want me to find them.’ I explained. ‘Now if I do have the privilege of meeting with-‘

‘Privilege?!’ The minister exclaimed. ‘You think it a privilege to meet with these monstrous creatures? They hunt and kill humans, these are the only somewhat civil werewolves I have ever dealt with and they still pose an immense threat.’

I sighed, knowing that I couldn’t lose my temper with the minister. ‘I’m afraid we sit on two different sides of that argument.’ I said and put my tea cup down. ‘I can’t agree that these people are monsters, if they were, you’d have much more serious problem on your hands. They know where both the ranger site and the sanctuary is, if they wanted to hunt and kill humans they would have both the means and every opportunity to do so. All of my research so far has led me to realise that there is both a human side and wolf side… The wolf won’t be reasoned with and even I wouldn’t dare approach them during a transformation, but the human side is human and can communicate as such. Now I’ve heard Kasha goes to the ranger site on occasion and talks to the rangers there. That tells me they don’t want any trouble for their pack, it says they are willing to work with you towards a solution.’

The minister gave me a look I didn’t recognise, but it reminded me of the one Nico had given me and I was immediately wary of him. 

‘Yes, Kasha is much more… Inclined to do what is best for the pack.’ The minister gave a slightly greasy smile and I desperately needed Remus to tell me what it meant. ‘But I’m afraid her… Co-operation only goes so far.’

‘How exactly does she co-operate?’ Remus asked and I knew that tone. It was the same one he had used when I had been working out the clue inside the golden egg at the Triwizard Tournament.

‘I’m not aware of the details of the discussions that take place between Kasha and Nico.’ He said quickly. ‘But he’s told me she has not been taking the help offered.’ There was something in his wording that unnerved me.

‘Okay.’ I said, thinking quickly how to move forward. ‘I wasn’t aware this meeting would be about negotiating with the pack on your behalf. I suggest you find someone more qualified-’

‘You are the world’s leading expert.’ The minister snapped. ‘Who else do you suggest I send into the middle of a pack of werewolves to tell them to leave the park?’

I took a breath and Remus shifted slightly next to me, but stayed quiet. ‘Minister, I’m not accustomed to being interrupted or spoken to with that kind of disrespect. I don’t respond well to aggression from anyone and I don’t tolerate ignorance… If that is all, I think we’ll be leaving.’ I stood up and Remus did the same.

‘You won’t help us?’ The minister asked.

‘Minister, I study werewolves, I help them live with the condition. I don’t treat them like animals that need to be corralled and I don’t treat them like anything other than human while they still are.’ I explained as calmly as I could. ‘Now, I was told I was coming here for a friendly, informal meeting about my progress here. As far as I’m concerned I have been lied to and I have no interest in dealing with people who try to manipulate me. Good luck with your supposed problem.’

I went to leave and Remus was on my heels immediately. ‘Have you ever even seen a werewolf Miss Lockwood?’ The minister called and I stopped.

‘Of course.’ I said, turning to see him still sitting in his chair.

‘Obviously not. If you had, you would know that these beasts cannot be controlled. Our only hope is to either eliminate or relocate them to somewhere they won’t pose a threat to our society.’

‘Don’t lecture me minister. Our opinions differ and until we can find a common ground to work on, this discussion has no relevance to either of our causes.’ I said and left before anything else could be said on the matter. 

I strode towards the lift and didn’t speak, I could feel the anger bubbling just under the surface. The lift stopped at the reception and I strode out, Remus on my heels, but only barely. The blonde witch held the cupboard door open and I reached out to catch my broom that flew straight into my hand.

It was very dark and the night was a lot cooler than it had been when we arrived. I barely felt it through my anger though and I rounded the corner to where we could safely fly back to the Sanctuary.

‘Angelina.’ Remus called and gently grabbed my arm to make me face him. 

‘What was the look?’ I snapped, Remus frowned. ‘When we were talking about Kasha, there was a look, what was it?’

Remus sighed. ‘We should talk about this back at the cabin. I just want to know that you’re calm enough to make the trip, flying angry is never a good idea.’

‘I’m fine. I just need to get away from here.’ I told him.

‘Okay, take a breath and we’ll go.’ He said and I did exactly that before we finally took off back to the sanctuary.

The night was cooler than I had anticipated and it was fairly clear, so flying higher was essential to avoid the gaze of muggles in the city. We finally landed and I was shivering I was so cold, but all I wanted was to get back to the warmth of the cabin and go to sleep.

‘Angelina.’ Remus said quietly as we got back inside the cabin. I turned around, suddenly feeling a flood of anger start to fade away, I didn't even realise how angry I was until I felt it disappearing.

‘I'm freezing.’ I whispered and headed straight for the bedroom door with every intention of taking a shower. That was until Remus caught me and turned me around to face him.

‘Kiss me.’ He said, it was almost a beg and I couldn't understand why he wanted it so badly. I didn't argue or refuse, I just leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. It didn't seem to be quite enough for him though and the kiss was deepened. His hands wrapped around my waist and his hands tangled in my hair, his tongue exploring every part of my mouth until I could barely stand anymore. ‘Please do something for me.’ He begged again against my lips. ‘Please just one thing while you're here.’ I pulled back a little to look at him. ‘Don't let the minister or Nico or anyone else you suspect might be a threat, come anywhere near you… Whatever Kasha is trading herself for isn't worth it and I'm afraid I won't even try to stop myself if it happens to you.’

I took a moment and tried to think around every logical pathway, trying to figure out what it was he was talking about. ‘I don't understand.’ I whispered.

‘Have you ever met Kasha?’ I shook my head. ‘I think we need to discuss something that I've been thinking on for a while now.’

Remus took my hand and led me into the bedroom. I was still shivering and the warmth of his skin was what I needed all over my body. We sat down on the edge of the bed and Remus put the silencing charm up once again just to be on the safe side.

‘Angelina,’ he started, ‘I can't tell you to leave and I can't convince you to come back with me and never return. But I will ask that you be very cautious when dealing with the Rangers and the minister. Aleksander and David may well be your only friends here… When we were sitting with the minister and he mentioned Kasha’s co-operation… It's difficult for me to explain, I'm not sure how to present this without scaring you.’

‘Okay.’ I swallowed. ‘You're scaring me a little just now, so start at the beginning. What is Kasha trading for supplies?’

Remus just sat for a moment and pain whipped over his face. ‘Herself… She's trading her body for any supplies they offer her.’

‘Her body?’ I asked, not quite understanding what he was trying to say.

Remus stood up and paced for a moment. ‘Let me approach this differently.’ He paced a little more and I patiently waited for him to continue. Finally, he sat in a chair in the corner of my bedroom. ‘People like me, not just werewolves, but vampires as well, sometimes half giants, a being with alternative magical properties… We tend to have a slightly more… Basic and focussed needs.’ He was choosing his words more carefully. ‘These basic needs are what one needs to survive, so mostly hunger can feel like starvation, tiredness feels like fatigue and cravings feel like… Well, addiction. Are you following me so far?’

I just watched him for a moment. ‘You mean you… You have something more primal than most?’

‘Yes, yes that's it.’ Remus exclaimed. ‘That's exactly right… Now, in my own case and in Clara's, we have spent most of our lives becoming very accustomed to resisting these basic needs. It would take a colossal amount for us to give into things like addiction… Now, in the case of you and I, I've found myself… Less willing to resist, it's at its worst during the cycle. Does this make sense?’

I thought for a moment, still not understanding what this had to do with Kasha and wondering why Remus chose not to mention this sooner. ‘I think so.’

‘I'm trying to be clear, but this is hard to say without it sounding worse than it is.’ Remus admitted. ‘Do you understand what I mean by addiction and using you and I as an example?’

I thought for a moment and shook my head.

‘Okay.’ Remus sighed and bowed his head, before looking up at me with tears forming in the corners of his eyes, I went to get up, but he put his hand up to stop. ‘I need you to just stay where you are while I make this as crystal clear as I can. After I've said it, you can ask me to leave and I won't hesitate, I'll get up and go and let you have as much time and space as you need to figure this out for yourself.’ He raked his hand through his hair and watched me. ‘I… Crave you… I crave being near you, the wolf part of me makes me feel that craving as an addiction, to reproduce. I find it hard to put up much of a fight. I do my best, please understand that I try with everything I have to keep myself in check. I try to make sure you're okay, I try to sense when it might be too much or if you need me to stop doing anything, but it's very difficult… I think this might be due to the fact that it feels better than it's ever felt before… Is that clearer for you?’

I watched him for a moment, thinking about everything he said, working through each sentence and what it was in reference to. It hit me. ‘We’re talking about sex.’ I said, my voice a little shaky. ‘That's what you crave… With me?’

Remus nodded and placed his hands in front of his mouth, waiting for me to tell him to leave, but I was mostly just confused.

‘Jocelyne said something to me once.’ I said and Remus frowned. ‘She said that when she stood next to Benji, she always just wanted to touch him, so she held his hand. I don't remember a time, after they began their relationship, when they weren't holding each other's hand or watching each other… Is it like that?’

Remus just watched with a deep frown on his face. ‘I suppose.’ He said slowly. ‘Angelina, what I'm describing to you is an incredibly dangerous feeling to have and the fact that I'm only just admitting to it… You should be angrier than this. You should be telling me to leave and telling me how upset you are that I lied.’ Remus raised his voice a little, but this was a new tone I hadn't heard before, it was midway between begging and the voice he used when handing out detentions.

I shook my head. ‘I'm not really that angry.’ I said. ‘I'm just confused. I'm just trying to work my way through this and understand what you're saying to me. I don't think you have lied, you've told me before that you wanted me, I feel like now, you're just specifying how much. That's not lying, that's expanding.’

Remus just looked at me in disbelief, he sat back and began laughing. ‘Of course!’ He exclaimed. ‘Of course, how could I have thought you'd have any other reaction?’ He leaned forward again. ‘You are the most extraordinary person I have ever met. Truly, you are wonderful.’ I frowned, half smiling at him. ‘You are the only person I have allowed myself to get close to, this close anyway. You are the only person I've felt might understand me the way I want to be understood. I'm not giving you enough credit.’ I smiled and cocked my head for him to come back to the edge of the bed and sit with me. He hesitated for a moment, before standing up slowly and sitting down next to me.

‘Do you…’ I started. ‘I mean, do you crave me now?’ I asked and my cheeks burnt red. 

Remus smiled and nodded. ‘I do.’ He admitted. ‘I desperately want to kiss you and touch you and make you laugh and… Other sounds.’ He chuckled and I laughed a little with him. ‘But I've been like this for long enough to know when it's me and when it's not. Right now I'm resisting every urge I have to be with you.’

‘Why?’

‘Because it's not me, not really anyway, I'm not sure I trust myself entirely.’ Remus frowned. ‘There's a chance I might hurt you… I feel very complicated right now.’ He chuckled and I understood, it had been a long day and we were both a little worn. ‘Do you understand what I'm saying to you about Kasha though? Do you understand what she's giving them?’

‘She's sleeping with Nico to get supplies for her pack. The cycle is the only time she can tolerate it, because the urge to reproduce is so strong.’ I said and suddenly I realised just what she was doing. She was handing over a very vulnerable piece of herself in order for her pack to survive, it was disgusting and I desperately wanted to help her stop. ‘This is what you were saying about me being an object. That's how Kasha is being treated.’

‘I believe so.’ Remus said sadly. A flicker of anger passed over his face and I knew he hated what was happening to her just as much as I did. ‘If that is the case then I'm worried about your safety. I've done everything I can to make you feel good and like you can feel safe with the subject, either talking about it or actually doing it. I can't let anyone take that from you… Clara and I both feel a protectiveness towards you, a much newer feature of our condition that we both weren't quite ready for… We both believe that you were born to be incredible, extraordinary and I feel certain that if you continue to do what is right, the world will be at your feet.’

Fear flooded me, the world was a big place and I didn't understand most of it, how could he think that about me? How could he think that I could change the world like that? It was terrifying.

‘You can do this.’ Remus said softly. ‘You can do anything you set your mind to.’

‘We have to do something about Kasha, I need to speak with her and find out how I can help her.’ I told him. Remus just nodded a little sadly.

‘Yes, and as much I don't want it to be, I feel you are the only one who can help the pack.’ He had a tight smile on his face and I knew why. ‘Your animagus is truly breathtaking and the pack will respond to that, hopefully the same way that Clara and I did.’

‘Maybe.’ I said, looking down at the floor. ‘What time is it?’

Remus checked his watch. ‘Only nine.’

I rubbed my face and lay back on my bed. ‘I need to read through that book before I go to bed. Will you still help me?’ Remus smiled and leaned on his elbow next to me, I could feel his hand sliding over my stomach, just relaxing the muscles beneath his hand.

‘Of course. I'll make us some tea.’ He said and kissed my forehead. I watched him give me a half smile and kiss me deeply again, it took him a moment or two to pull away and when he did he just looked at me like he was about to say something.  
‘What are you thinking about?’ I asked quietly.

Remus just smiled warmly. ‘You.’ He said, plainly and simply. I just chuckled and felt my cheeks go pink. Remus got up off the bed and took one last look at me before heading into the workroom. I took a quick shower and joined him in my shorts and vest. He was reading through the contract and was using the book he'd given me to understand the slightly more complicated aspects. ‘Feeling better?’ He asked as I sat down and sipped my tea.

‘Better, still not great though.’ I sighed and picked up my book to start reading through. I'd only just noticed Remus had put music on and it soothed me a little.

‘I wanted to ask you something.’ Remus said, fidgeting slightly. He seemed nervous and I couldn't imagine why. ‘James and Lily, I went to visit them as you know and they asked if you'd like to come with me to have dinner with them at some point… I was just wondering if that was something that appealed to you?’ Remus looked down and frowned at the contract and I wasn't sure why. ‘You can say no, I know these things make you uncomfortable sometimes.’

‘Would you like me to?’ I asked, opening up my notebook and sipping my tea again.

Remus just smiled. ‘I want you to say yes if you're comfortable. If you aren't then that's fine.’

‘Its not that I'm uncomfortable, it's more that I don't want to make a bad impression on your friends. You know my friends already.’ I tried to explain.

‘They want to meet you properly, you won't make a bad impression, you just need to be yourself.’ Remus assured me and reached over to hold my hand. ‘Do you want to think about it?’

I nodded and smiled weakly.

‘I'll wait as long as you need.’ Remus smiled and went back to reading. We sat for a few moments more just reading and making notes, on occasion I'd hear him speak another book and begin reading through it carefully.

‘Making progress?’ I asked, just as I finished scanning through the book and making a couple of adjustments to the methods.

‘Just about there.’ Remus smiled up at me. 

There was a rapid knocking at the door and I looked at Remus, not quite sure who it could've been at that time of night. I jumped up when the knocking persisted. ‘David?’

‘Angie.’ He panted. ‘You have to come quick, it's Dimitri and Kasha. Come on!’ He shouted and I quickly grabbed, my wand, hoodie and boots, Remus was on my heels as we followed David to the bottom of the hill I'd fallen down earlier that day. And sure enough, just outside the boundary, there stood a beast of a man, probably over seven feet tall, with thick, knotted hair over his face and chest; scars covering his body and sharp dark eyes staring straight at me. He stood next next to a small woman, who looked like she was terrified of standing in front of so many people, she had thick, knotted, dirty blonde hair as well, but her eyes were bright blue.

‘Angelina.’ Remus whispered behind me. I put my hoodie on and rolled up the sleeves. ‘Be careful.’ 

‘Stay with me.’ I told him and looked up to see his worried expression. I wandered closer to the boundary, my wand in hand. I stopped realising just how many people were watching me. ‘Everyone lower your wands.’ I called. I could see Dimitri relax slightly, I looked around to see the trainers had lowered their wands as I'd asked, Remus was still inches behind me. He wasn't going anywhere. David had approached me as well.

‘Angie, what do we do?’ He asked. ‘He's never come this far down the mountains before.’

‘I know and I'm going to find out why he has now.’ I told him. ‘Just keep everyone calm, I'll handle it.’

‘Do you know what you're doing here?’ Remus asked, holding my shoulder and preventing me from going any further.

‘Of course not. Why do you think I'm asking you to stay close?’ It was almost a snap. ‘I can't read faces like you can, if you think something will happen, if I offend him some way, then you need to tell me.’ I felt the panic starting to build in my chest. ‘Trust me Remus, please.’

He looked at me for a moment, before making his decision. Remus nodded and took a breath, I could see him tightening his grip on his wand.

‘David get everyone to back off, give us a little space.’ I told him and David, along with Elena began doing just that. I slowly wandered closer to Dimitri and Kasha. Dimitri had more scars than Remus as did Kasha, their bodies were covered and the both of them looked like they were in a lot of pain. Remus stayed within two feet of me and I appreciated it. ‘Dimitri?’ 

Dimitri just let out a mumbled grunt and Kasha stepped forward. ‘What is your name?’ She asked, her Bulgarian accent was thick.

‘Angie, Angie Lockwood… This is Remus Lupin.’ I took another tentative step forward. ‘You’re Kasha aren’t you?’

‘My brother and I would like to speak with you… Just you.’ Kasha made it clear that Remus wasn’t welcome.

‘I don’t do things alone.’ I said and Dimitri tensed up again. I tightened my grip on my wand, worried for what it meant. ‘I’d like to speak with you as well, but only if I have Remus with me. That’s the deal.’ I felt Remus’s hand come up to my lower back and gently pull at my hoodie, I didn’t move though.

Kasha looked to Dimitri and spoke in Bulgarian very quickly to him. Dimitri just looked at her and gave a minuscule nod.

‘Very well.’ Kasha said, Dimitri turned around, his body was stiff and it looked like it was an incredible amount of effort to move. ‘You will both come with us. We have much to talk about.’

I let out a breath of relief and began following them.

‘Angie.’ I heard Aleksander call. I turned to see him striding towards me. ‘You can’t go with them. They cannot be trusted.’

‘I’ll have Remus with me, I’ll be fine.’ I told him and took a few quicker steps to catch up to Dimitri and Kasha. Remus didn’t let me get far without him following just a few feet behind me. 

‘Any ideas where we’re going?’ Remus asked, quietly.

‘No clue.’ I said just as quietly. We followed for a good twenty minutes, high up into the mountains and close to the no go zone. I had plans to explore that part of the mountain towards the end of my visit in Bulgaria when I was a little more experienced in climbing. We came to large expanse of land that I’d walked through several times with Aleksander, but instead of following the path through the land we drifted off towards a rockier part and came to a large cave where five people sat staring at us entering. They all looked just as worn and wild as Dimitri and Kasha did. Two were children, no older than eight and I turned to Remus who just looked pained.

Dimitri and Kasha sat around the fire that was placed in the middle of the cave and Kasha gestured for myself and Remus to accompany them. We wandered around the five werewolves and noticed that there was a few crates that looked like they came from the Rangers site. There was also a small area where a lot of blankets lay and I presumed that was where they slept.

Remus and I finally sat down and one of the children who was previously wrapped in his mother's arms, took an interest in Remus who smiled down at him.

‘Angie Lockwood.’ Kasha said, distracting my attention. ‘Remus Lupin, this is our pack.’ She said and Dimitri began picking at what looked like leftover meat from some kind of creature he had hunted. The pack watched us, presumably confused at why we had been brought in front of them. Kasha introduced us in Bulgarian and the pack, began mumbling amongst themselves. ‘They are rightfully nervous at your presence.’ Kasha explained.

‘The feeling is mutual.’ I admitted. ‘You said you needed to speak with me.’

‘Yes.’ Kasha said and asked a question in Bulgarian to Dimitri, I could pick out a few words and phrases, like ‘how can she’ and ‘wolf’. Dimitri nodded and continued to pick at his food. ‘We would like to know how you can transform into a wolf at will? You did it earlier today when you were running down the mountain. You fell quite hard.’

‘Before I answer your questions, I’d like to set out some ground rules.’ I said and Kasha frowned, gesturing for me to continue. ‘I can imagine the pack doesn’t feel very safe with outsiders sitting around their fire and to be honest I don’t feel especially safe sitting in amongst you all. So I ask that for every question you ask, I ask one in return? I’d also like your word that as soon as we are done here you will point us in the direction to head back to the sanctuary? Can you agree to those terms?’

Kasha gave a look and asked Dimitri if this was okay, it seemed to take him a while to answer but eventually he said yes.

‘We can agree.’ Kasha nodded.

‘Good… I can turn into a wolf because I’m animagus.’ I explained. Kasha just frowned.

‘What is that?’ She asked.

‘An animagus is a witch or wizard who can turn into an animal at will. It's a practiced magic.’ I tried to broaden my explanation. I caught the young boy out of the corner of my eye showing Remus a broken piece of wood. I couldn’t quite see what it was.

‘You chose to turn into a wolf?’ Kasha almost outraged. ‘Why would you chose this?’

‘You misunderstand.’ I shook my head. ‘I’m not a werewolf, I’m not the same as you. I didn’t chose to be a wolf, I could have been any animal. What you are and what I am are two very different things. It’s difficult to explain. Remus is much better at that side of things than I am.’

Kasha relayed everything back to Dimitri and the pack turned all of their attention to me. Dimitri had stopped eating and his eyes bore into me. He said something to me and gestured to Remus.

‘Dimitri is asking if Remus is the same?’ Kasha asked. 

I looked to Remus who was in fact fixing a small wooden toy of a Red Capp that the boy had given him.

‘No, I’m similar to you.’ Remus shook his head. ‘I have the same condition you do.’ He said eventually managed to fix the toy for the young boy and handed it back to him with a smile. The boy bounded back to the young girl and showed her the toy, both began playing and I noticed a lot of their toys were broken. I could see Remus felt for them.

‘You are also a man-wolf?’ Kasha asked, making sure she understood what he was saying.

‘Yes, I am a werewolf.’ He nodded.

‘And you are not the same?’ Kasha turned her attention back to me.

‘No, I’m not a werewolf.’ I shook my head.

Kasha again relayed the information to Dimitri, who briefly gave his order to Kasha.

‘Dimitri would like to know what your first question is.’ Kasha asked and I was glad that Dimitri honoured the agreement.

I looked at Remus who said nothing. ‘I’m here on research, I wanted to learn about your pack and about the way you lived. I heard rumours that you could transform without the need for a full moon, but I’m starting to think that it might not be true?’

‘It’s not, we cannot transform at will like you can. Only the moon can change us.’ Kasha shook her head. ‘You were seen at the Rangers site, why were you there?’ She asked and I could see her making an expression I was fairly certain was hatred. 

‘I thought the Rangers could have been of use in my aims to find you.’ I explained. ‘They weren’t helpful in the slightest.’

Kasha told Dimitri what I had said and I was beginning to remember a few Bulgarian words I had learned and could follow the conversation easy enough. 

‘Dimitri asks what else you discussed while you were there?’ Kasha asked.

‘It’s my turn to ask a question.’ I told her and she momentarily looked taken back, I felt Remus shift next to me. Kasha nodded and her bright blue eyes watched me curiously. ‘How long has your pack lived here?’

‘Centuries.’ She said. ‘We were here long before anyone else. Once there was thousands of us roaming all over this land. But only we survived. Dimitri knew that the key to our survival was to work with the Rangers and the minister. So that’s what we did.’

‘You went to them? You asked for their help?’

‘Yes, I went to the Rangers site and asked that we be left in peace. The minister wanted to meet all of us and discuss a friendly solution, Dimitri and I negotiated for us and for years we have lived in peace and stayed hidden from muggles.’ Kasha clearly hated talking about the Rangers and the minister.

‘We know what you’ve been trading.’ Remus suddenly said and Kasha frowned momentarily. ‘After a full moon you go to the site and get supplies for your family, we know the price you’re paying for the survival of your people.’ Remus had a face that I’d seen a few times, the face of sincerity and kindness. Kasha looked taken back and just watched him for a moment. ‘I think it’s very brave of you to do that, but it doesn’t make it right. We want to help.’

‘No one knows.’ Kasha said, composing herself so that she didn’t let slip how much she appreciated what Remus had said. ‘Dimitri still believes that his negotiations and his conditions are what is keeping us safe. Please do not tell him, I don’t know what he would do if he found out.’

‘I know how he would feel.’ Remus admitted and I remembered earlier that evening when we got back to the cabin and he had asked me to stay away from anyone that could cause me harm.

‘I didn’t discuss much with Nico, I just asked for any information he could give me on how to find you.’ I answered her previous question. She told Dimitri what had been said, minus what Remus had said. The young boy had rushed up to Remus again and handed him another toy to fix, it looked like it belonged to the young girl he was playing with. ‘Kasha, I would love to know as much as I can about your pack, including how you're so fluent in English, but I feel more pressing matters should be discussed.’

‘Such as?’

‘I had a meeting with the Bulgarian minister today, he invited me to his office for a friendly meeting that turned out to be not so friendly and asked me to come here and offer you a relocation plan for your pack. I want you to understand that I told him my interests do not involve being a negotiator for him.’ I explained as fully as I could and watched her immediately tell Dimitri what I said.

They had a lengthly discussion and I found it difficult to pick out certain words. 

‘Dimitri would like you to know that he appreciates your efforts to protect us and owes you an equal debt of protection. We do not want to leave this place, we have everything we need to survive here and if it is necessary we will go to the minister and talk about a more peaceful agreement. Do you think this would work?’ She asked and Dimitri looked to me. I honestly didn’t know the answer.

‘I think we’re past negotiations.’ Remus answered for me, handing the toy back to the young boy. ‘I think the minister is dead set on his plan to relocate or eliminate you. Kasha, I think it’s time you tell Dimitri the truth, nothing good will come of this if he goes into any conversation with the Rangers or the minister without knowing all of the details of the current agreement.’

‘I cannot tell him.’ Kasha said sternly. It caught the attention of Dimitri and she took a breath. ‘My brother will not understand. He has already done so much for us, I cannot disappoint him like that.’

‘You won’t, I can assure you.’ Remus told her. ‘He will be angry for a while and then his attention will focus on finding an alternative way for you all to survive. You do not have to give anymore than you already have, it's not worth it.’

Kasha’s eyes began to fill with water.

‘There is no alternative.’

‘It’s simply not true.’ Remus shook his head. ‘Allow us to help you, let us find some other way for you to help your people.’

Dimitri asked her a question and she held her breath for just a moment. She let it go and answered his question, before turning back to us. 

‘I will tell him, not right now.’ She assured us and Remus nodded. ‘What else would you like to know about the pack?’ She asked and I watched as Remus began fixing more than just the toys, he was given all sorts of things by a few members of the pack, a couple of books here and there and even a couple of pieces of furniture. He gladly obliged and fixed everything that was laid out in front of him, while I spoke with Kasha about the pack and various other topics of interest. I learnt that Kasha had been mentored in many subjects by the Trainers at the sanctuary and was very well educated thanks to them. We talked for well over an hour before a noise caught our attention. It sounded like people shouting.

Dimitri immediately stood up and along with a couple of the male members of the pack, ventured out to find out what was going on. Remus held his arm out in front of me, keeping me safe from whatever was out there. Dimitri came back and began shouting orders to everyone who started making their way towards the back of the cave. 

‘What’s happening?’ I asked Kasha.

‘The rangers are trying to find us, they have the minister with them.’ Kasha explained and I looked to Remus.

‘We have to do something.’ I told him.

‘No, you go with the others. I need you to stay safe.’ Remus said, stopping me from leaving the cave with everyone else. I pushed him aside and left anyway. ‘Angelina!’ He yelled.

‘You don’t get to tell me to stay here! You don’t get to tell me that!’ I yelled back at him and made my way up to see the Rangers all pointing their wands at Dimitri and the two other werewolves he had behind him. I could see Nico yelling in Bulgarian at Dimitri, who stood his ground. I had my wand up and pointed at Nico.

‘Lower your wand.’ He growled at me.

‘Not until you explain yourself.’ I said, very aware that I was outnumbered. There was around fifteen Rangers all holding their wands up. I felt Remus stand next to me and hold his wand up as well.

‘Get out of the way Lockwood.’ The minister said with a huge amount of restraint in his voice. ‘These monsters are dangerous and need to be dealt with, we heard rumours that they’d captured two wizards and were holding them hostage, and now you want to protect them?’

‘You don’t know what you’re talking about.’ I growled back.

It was one of the more nervous Rangers that made the first move. She sent a stunner at one of the werewolves next to Dimitri. Kasha immediately went over to him and I pointed my wand at the ranger.

‘Everyone calm down.’ The minister shouted. ‘Lockwood, tell us where the rest of the pack are and we’ll let yourself and Lupin go.’

‘Not going to happen. Lower your wands now and no one needs to get hurt.’ I responded, feeling a fear place itself firmly in the pit of my stomach.

‘You are far outnumbered, you will not win this one.’ He said with a smile I wasn’t entirely comfortable with and I felt Remus shift.

‘Remus, take a breath.’ I said, knowing he didn’t like it when the minister gave me that look. ‘Minister I told you before, I don’t respond well to aggression and I don’t tolerate ignorance. Keep pushing me and you will regret it.’

The minister and Nico both laughed loudly. ‘What exactly is an eighteen year old child going to do to us?’ Nico laughed.

‘Keep testing us and you’ll find out!’ Remus roared. The entire land fell silent. ‘There is a peaceful resolution to this, we know there is. So let’s all just lower our wands and find it.’ 

I could hear a faint popping behind me and saw David and Elena appear just next to me, both wands raised. How did they know we were here?

‘This is what you call peaceful?’ The Minster questioned. ‘You have brought the entire sanctuary with you to protect these monsters-‘

‘People!’ I shouted. ‘Dimitri and Kasha, they are people just like me and you. And they deserve a chance at survival just like we do. I will do everything in my power to give them that chance.’ I could hear Kasha behind me translating what I was saying to Dimitri. ‘Minister, this is the very last time I will ask. Lower your wands, now.’ I had never felt so angry and scared all at once, I was shaking.

‘I’ve had enough of the children now.’ Nico hissed and sent a stunner my way, quickly lifted a shield charm and blocked it, but I could only block so many times before one slipped through, it caught my chest and I was sent flying towards the rocky landscape. 

I felt myself waking up and saw a fight had broken out, I could see David and Elena holding off attackers from reaching Kasha, who was still tending to the werewolf that had been taken down. Remus was firing off stunners in every direction and Aleksander was doing well to avoid getting hit by anything flying his way.

I finally got to my feet, feeling an immense amount of pain in my back and saw the minister striding towards Dimitri who had been knocked down, by some spell or another. I quickly transformed into a wolf and sprinted over to him. I growled loudly and the minister fell backwards. I changed back and held my wand out to him, but before I could send anything his way he pointed his wand at me and yelled: ‘Crucio!’ My knees felt like they had exploded beneath me. I felt onto the hard ground and writhed in pain, my body felt like it was on fire and being torn into by sharp knives all at once, it was excruciating and I didn’t know how to stop it. My body was failing me and I couldn’t stand up. 

I lay back and just let the pain take over, hoping I would pass out and not have to be awake through the worst of it. I watched Dimitri give me a look I didn’t recognise and stand up, leaping over me as I heard the minister shouting ‘Avarda Kedavra.’ Dimitri fell limp in front of me and all light left his eyes. Someone screamed and Kasha ran over to see her brother’s lifeless body laying next to mine.

I didn’t see who fired it off, but the minister fell as well and the three of us just lay staring at the stars. My body still wasn’t working properly and I couldn’t keep my eyes open much longer. I let them close, feeling someone lifting my body up and carrying me away from the fighting.


	15. When I Wake

I opened my eyes and could hear people talking quietly just next to me, my vision was a little blurry and I couldn’t quite make them out. My body still stung, but I was aware I was in a comfy bed, the only problem was that I expecting to be waking up next to Remus. I choked out his name, hoping he was nearby and he was.

‘Angelina.’ He whispered and held my hand. ‘Just try to relax, it’ll be over soon.’

‘Alright Angie,’ it was my father, ‘time to sit up.’ I could hear the tiredness in his voice.

‘Dad.’ I breathed a sigh of relief. ‘I’m sorry.’ I said and felt tears forming in my eyes.

‘What for?’ He's said in disbelief.

‘For everything. I’m sorry.’ They were fully formed tears now and my father just kissed my forehead.

‘No, absolutely not.’ He said and sniffed. ‘You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. Nothing in the world… I need you to sit up though.’ He helped me hoist my body into a sitting position, whilst adjusting the pillows behind me and I could see I was in my cabin. Remus was sitting on the edge of the bed, he had a few cuts and bruises and looked incredibly pained. ‘Here we go.’ My father said and handed me a potion, I drank it without a fuss and immediately felt better for it. ‘Right, I’ll be back soon, I need to check on a couple of others, Remus will explain everything. I’ll come back, I promise.’

I nodded and handed him the goblet back. He kissed my forehead again and left myself and Remus alone. I could slowly feel my body coming back to me. Feeling a dull ache set in, much like the one I’d feel after a long Quidditch game.

‘Remus.’ I whispered and smiled at him. He looked at me and I could see a hundred different things happening all at once. ‘Are you okay?’ I asked.

He gave a half smile, like he couldn’t quite believe that I’d asked the question. ‘No, no I’m not okay in the slightest.’ He sighed and edged a little closer. ‘I am so glad you’re alive.’ He said and kissed me deeply. ‘I’m so happy you’re here.’ He whispered and I placed my hand on his chest, stroking my thumb over the exposed skin.

‘I’m happy I’m here too.’ I whispered back.

‘Angelina.’ Remus said and stopped there. ‘I… I thought you’d died. I thought the world ended, I thought I’d lost you forever.’

‘You didn’t.’ I shook my head.

‘No, but I realised just how strongly I feel for you.’ Remus swallowed. ‘I want to ask your father’s permission to be with you. It occurred to me that if you died, your parents wouldn’t know about us and I can’t think of anything worse for a parent, to lose a child and to never know that she was happy for a while.’

‘You want to ask my dad if you’re allowed to be my boyfriend?’ I asked and saw him cringe at the terminology, but then let out a chuckle. He nodded and I smiled at him. ‘What if he says no?’

Remus took a breath. ‘It’s a risk I think we’ll have to take.’ He admitted. ‘I just think it’s unfair for us to keep a secret like this from your parents… We don’t need to talk about it right now, I’ll let you rest for a while, but I’d like to ask him before he leaves later today. Do you understand what I’m saying? Why I want to ask his permission?’

I just smiled and shook my head. ‘No, but I trust you and I trust your judgement. I just hope he says yes.’ I said honestly. ‘Ask him and let me know what the answer is.’

‘I will.’ He said and kissed my hand gently. ‘Are you alright?’

I shook my head again. ‘No, not in the slightest… Dimitri died didn’t he?’ I felt the tears building again.

‘Yes, as did the minister.’ Remus sighed and that same pained expression flooded his face.

‘I didn’t see who got the minister?’

‘No, it seems the truth behind that is currently a mystery, but everyone at the sanctuary say they all used Dark Magic as a last resort, until we can trace the events properly, we may never know who killed the minister.’ Remus explained and I sighed, I thought I could feel his heart pumping beneath my hand, but it must’ve been my imagination, it was far too quick and Remus was always so calm. ‘Dimitri sacrificed himself for you, Kasha said he was repaying his debt. She’s fine, she’s helping with a few of the injured, she’s upset, but she’s being kept occupied for the time being.’ 

‘Is she angry with me?’ I asked, the tears escaping.

‘No, no she isn’t.’ Remus wiped my tears away. ‘No one is angry with you, no one at all. You should get some rest. Get some sleep and I’ll just be outside if you need me.’

‘You should sleep too.’ I said and Remus just smiled.

‘I will.’ Remus kissed me once more and I was vaguely aware that it could have been the last time I kissed him. He helped me lay down again and wrapped himself around me for a few minutes, just letting me settle as he placed soft kisses on my shoulder and held me close to him until I fell asleep entirely.

 

Remus stood up and felt his entire body flare up with aches and pains. He didn’t want to call George or Dumbledore for that matter, but the minister for Bulgaria was dead and people needed to be made aware. He remembered the expression of rage Angelina had when she told him that wasn’t going to stay in the cave. He really believed she was about to walk to her death and he needed to get help. Remus sat on the steps just outside the cabin and sipped at his Silvermint Tea, his whole body was aching, but it was nice to see the sun coming up and he wished he could have have shared it with Angelina.

Remus wanted to share a lot of things with Angelina. He wanted to share his life with her, he wanted to teach her things and watch her change the world. He wanted to be her date to weddings and get drunk with her at stupid hours of the day just because they could, he wanted to gush about her to James and Lily and have them tell him how tired they were of hearing it, but be secretly happy for him. He wanted to read to her on some idle afternoon and dance with her while they cleaned up after dinner together. He wanted her entirely.

He sighed, knowing how close he had come to losing every chance he had at a life like that. She could have died and the only reason she didn’t was because of Dimitri. Remus hoped that he could do something for the pack, a way of repaying Dimitri for saving her, but Remus barely had anything to offer.

‘How is she?’ George asked wandering up to Remus. He felt a nervousness flood him and stood up.

‘She's… In shock.’ Remus told him honestly. ‘She hasn’t quite come to terms with what she’s seen. She’s sleeping just now, I hoped that when she woke up she might have had the energy to talk about Dimitri and the minister, but it seems she needs more time.’

George sighed and Remus could see how hard it was for him see his daughter this way. ‘I’m just glad you were here when it happened.’ He said and began to walk back inside.

Remus followed, feeling a small amount of bravery sit in his chest. ‘George, there's something I’d like to ask you.’ He said and swallowed hard. George just gave him a curious look. ‘I’m not exactly sure how to put this, but I’d like to ask your permission to…’ Remus felt fear get the better of him, why was this so hard?

‘My permission for what?’ He asked and took a step towards Remus.

‘It’s Angelina.’ He said. ‘I… I’m in love with her.’ Remus said it as plainly as he could and watched George’s face drop. ‘I wanted to ask your permission to… To be with her?’

Remus couldn’t tell what the man in front of him was thinking and it was difficult to tell what expression he was going to settle on. George took two or three strides towards Remus and embraced him like a brother. It wasn’t the reaction Remus expected and he wasn’t sure what it meant.

‘Remus.’ George breathed. ‘Angie is the world to me, don’t forget that.’ He said and pulled away. ‘I told you three years ago that you are a good man, I stand by what I said, but I’m sorry, this choice isn’t mine. It’s Angie’s.’ He said and squeezed Remus’s shoulder.

‘What if she says yes?’

‘Then I hope you’re both very happy together.’ George said. ‘Obviously I’d rather she found someone her own age, I thought she and Jack stood a good chance, but life rarely gives us what we’d prefer. Just be aware that if you hurt her in anyway… Well, I think Darren would beat me to it.’

Remus chuckled a little. ‘It’s a risk, I guess I’ll have to take.’

George, began clearing away a few things. ‘Have you spoken to Angie about this?’ He suddenly asked.

‘Yes, I have.’ Remus said honestly.

‘What did she say?’

‘Well… I’m still not sure she really knows what it was I was asking, it was a complicated conversation for her to grasp, but she understood enough to make it clear that she might feel the same way… There’s a lot more talking to be done.’ Remus tried to say as carefully as he could.

‘I’ve always found patience is the key with Angie.’ George mused. ‘She’s not a social person, she thinks logically and gets frustrated when she can't understand something that everyone around her can. I hope you can change that, I feel if she doesn’t learn how to read people better, she may land herself in tighter spots than the one last night.’

‘I’ll do my best.’ Remus assured him.

‘It’s all I’m asking.’ George took a breath and headed into Angelina’s bedroom to check on her. Remus let out a breath of relief, it was the best possible outcome he could have imagined and he felt his heart lift. He had George’s permission to be with Angelina and that was one less thing she needed to worry about. Remus knew that deep down, the one thing she feared most was the disapproval of her friends and family, but he was happy that he could ease that fear for her, it made him feel a little more worthy of her.

 

I slept for most of the day, just drifting in and out. On occasion I would hear someone talking to me, but I didn’t have the energy to find out what it was they were saying to me. 

When I eventually did wake, it was to my father entering the room and looking exhausted.

‘Dad.’ I whispered, he immediately sat next to me and made sure I was waking up properly.

‘Angie, there you are finally.’ He said with his charming smile. ‘Do you think you could sit up, or do you need a few more minutes?’

‘I think I can do it.’ I said, rather hoarsely. My father helped me sit and reorganised a few pillows so that I was comfortable. ‘My back hurts.’ I told him and I could almost see him laughing.

‘Yes, that’s because you broke it in several places.’ He told me and left the bedroom door open so that I could see him grabbing a goblet from the table. I could see Remus talking with David outside and Elena standing far too close to him for my liking, but it seemed Remus was uncomfortable with the proximity as well, because he kept shuffling more towards David. ‘Here we go.’ My father handed me the goblet and left the door open to let the breeze in. I drank a little of the potion and it was disgusting. ‘All of it now, come on.’ My father encouraged and I thought I was going to be sick, but I took a breath and finished the rest. ‘That’s it. Right, I’ll be back in just a moment.’ He said and smiled at me again. 

I watched him go out towards Remus and say something to him, his eyes darted towards me for a moment and he nodded, doing whatever my father had asked him to do, before he came back into my room letting the door close slightly. ‘Now, anything you want to ask?’ My father said, sitting down on the bed again.

‘I don’t know where to start.’ I said, giving him a half laugh. ‘My back?’

‘Ah yes, when I spoke to David he said that you were caught with a stunner to your chest, probably why you feel a little tight there just now, but that’ll pass.’ My father explained, raking his hand through his thick hair. ‘He said that you landed on a few rocks, probably where you broke it. However, Elena said that you’d transformed into your animagus and managed to run very fast over to the minister and man called Dimitri. The minister… He fired the cruciatis curse at you.’ I could see the pain flickering over his face as he explained this to me. ‘That’s probably when you damaged the muscles as well. Hence why you’ve been sleeping all day. But it’s all been fixed, no more broken bones or muscle injuries, just a few aches and bruises. How are you feeling just now?’

‘Tired.’ I admitted and stared out at the bright blue sky outside the window. ‘How’s Kasha?’

‘Occupied.’ My father chose the word carefully. ‘Had a chat with Remus while you were sleeping.’ My eyes shot straight back to his and I felt panic flood me again. ‘He was asking my permission to start a relationship with you… Naturally I’d much rather you found someone your own age, I always thought you and Jack would become something more?’

‘Jack’s my best friend, kind of like Darren and Katie.’ I remembered Darren explaining how he had felt about her to me not that long ago. ‘I think he’s found someone else anyway. We wouldn’t have worked out.’

‘I understand.’ My father nodded. ‘Well, I told him it wasn’t up to me. It’s up to you, if you want to be with him, then that’s fine by me and your mother. Just remember that a relationship takes work and patience, if you aren’t happy then it’s not right. Remus is a good man and I can see how much he cares for you, just be sure it’s what you want.’

‘I’m still figuring it out.’ I wrinkled my nose, hating that I couldn’t say yes with as much conviction as I wanted to.

‘And that’s okay. If Remus is worth your time, he’ll understand that and have patience.’ My father assured me. He sighed and kissed my forehead. ‘I’m so proud of you Angie, your mother is very proud as well and I’m sure Darren will write soon saying the same thing. You’ve done a lot of good tonight, you have no idea of how many people you now have in your debt. I need to go and check on a few others just now, but Remus is just outside if you need anything.’

‘Can I get up soon?’ I asked just as he was about to leave.

‘Maybe in an hour or so, let me do the rounds and I’ll come back to assess.’ He said and opened the door, letting the breeze in again, it felt nice on my skin and I close my eyes for just a moment, before the image of Dimitri laying next to me had me snapping them back open. I took a breath and realised just what I had seen.

Remus stood at the door with a curious frown on his face, he was holding a mug and watching me. ‘Are you okay?’ He asked.

‘Fine.’ I lied and he could tell immediately. Remus just nodded a little sadly and came to sit next to me, he handed me a mug and he looked like my father’s famous hot chocolate.

‘It might not be as good, I followed the instructions, but I’m afraid it’ll never be the real thing.’ He said with a small smile. I sipped the hot liquid and though he was right, it’d never be like my father’s, it was pretty damn good. 

‘It’s good.’ I assured him and he smiled. ‘So, what’s been happening?’ I asked and Remus went on to tell me about the new appointment of the Bulgarian minister. It wasn't a name I recognised, but Remus assured me that he was a lot more trustworthy than the previous one. Aleksander had been back and forth from the ministry building seeing that everyone was being kept up to speed on what was happening. David and Elena had been making sure that the werewolves that had survived were being taken care of and that my father had everything he needed to take care of some of the trainers that had been injured during the fighting.

‘And that’s about it really.’ Remus finished and took my empty to mug to put to one side. I had figured out that there must have been something else in the hot chocolate because my body was feeling more energised than it had before. ‘Dumbledore is speaking with Fudge about the events of last night and dependant on the next step… Well, it looks like you could be receiving a special award for services to the park.’

I half smiled, we both knew that when I came here, it was the last thing I expected to receive. We sat in silence for a moment before I remembered something.

‘I forgot to send my book back.’ I said and Remus just looked at me and laughed. ‘I promised myself I’d do it this morning.’ Remus still laughed at me. ‘Why are you laughing?’

‘Because,’ He shook his head. ‘You spent last night fighting Rangers and protecting werewolves, you broke your back and nearly died in the process and you’re worried about your book.’

I shrugged. ‘I just promised I’d do it.’ I said and frowned a little.

Remus nodded. ‘Have you finished going through it?’ I nodded at him. ‘Okay, how about I get the contract for you to sign and we send it right now?’

Remus didn’t even wait for me to answer, he grabbed the book off of the table and the contract, before coming back into my bedroom.

‘Do you want to read the contract before you sign it or would rather I explained it to you?’ He asked, handing me the three page contract and beginning to wrap up the book I had been editing.

‘Will you explain it to me?’ I asked.

‘Of course.’ He said and took it back while I tried to finish wrapping up the book. Remus went through each section and paused for me to ask any questions if I had them, he explained it as best he could based on what he’d read and even got the book so I could read up on it myself. Eventually I signed it and we went about writing a letter back to Lysander Stott. ‘There we go, promise kept.’ Remus said smiling. ‘I’ll give this to Ruben just now.’ Remus took a breath and placed a light kiss on my lips. It was just what I needed, just something to ground me for a moment or two. When he came back there was something a bit heavier about him. ‘I spoke to your father while you were sleeping.’ He said.

‘He told me.’ I nodded. ‘He seems a lot more tolerant than I thought he’d be.’ I chuckled.

‘Yes, it was a shock to me as well.’ Remus breathed a laugh. ‘Angelina, I hope you know by now that I stand by what I said at the end of term. I will still choose you above everyone else and I hope you feel the same, but I’m aware that you’re still working it all out and that’s okay, I can wait as long as you need me to.’

I looked at Remus and saw so many things happening behind his eyes, it was too complex for me and I felt a whips of frustration at how I couldn’t comprehend what it was I was seeing and Remus could tell immediately.

‘I told you before, this is something you can’t just use your head to figure out.’ He reminded me. ‘This is more to do with the way you feel and trying to compare it to something you know… We don’t need to do this now, we can do it any time.’

‘It’s just frustrating.’ I sighed.

‘I know, I can see it.’ He smiled. ‘I can see when you’re frustrated and I can see when you’re angry… I’m sorry that I told you to stay in the cave, I thought I was protecting you by asking that of you.’

‘You were.’ I chuckled again. ‘But, I knew I had to be up there. Something told me it was important to help them and that it needed to be me.’

Remus nodded. ‘I understand. I just don’t like seeing you get hurt.’

‘I’m sorry, but sometimes I will get hurt and that’s okay. I’ll keep learning for the next time and the same things won’t catch me out. I’ll be okay in the end as long as you’re there when I wake up, I’ll be okay.’

‘Angelina.’ Remus breathed and kissed me deeply. I felt him pour all of himself into me and I hoped he could feel me doing the same, but truthfully I didn’t quite know how. ‘I…’ He started, but stopped himself and pulled away. ‘You are quite something.’ He said, we heard someone enter the cabin and Remus stood up quickly when we realised it was my father. 

‘So, Angie, ready to try getting out of bed?’ He said cheerfully and I nodded excitedly. 

It took a while and I only made it to the cabin steps, before I needed to sit down again, but at least I was outside in the sun. It was still the afternoon and the sanctuary was peaceful. People would wave at me on their way past and David would bound up to me and give me updates on what was going on. Mostly it was just repairs and taking care of the injured, but we were getting there. Aleksander had made an appearance and told us that the Rangers had either been arrested or were still being investigated, there were a few that had managed to get away and were being searched for, but the site now lay abandoned and I had an idea.

‘That’s a brilliant idea!’ Aleksander exclaimed. Remus rubbed his beard curiously. ‘We could begin preparations by the end of the week. The minister will be here in a few hours, you should bring it up to him.’

‘I can’t deny, it's a good alternative for them. A peaceful solution.’ Remus said next to me.

‘The full moon is in a few days time, it’d have to be sorted by then.’ I told them.

‘I’m sure we can do it.’ Aleksander said and quickly left to find someone else.

‘What do you think?’ I asked Remus.

‘Truthfully, moving the werewolves to the Rangers site would take a lot of work.’ He said honestly. ‘But the alternative isn’t exactly appealing, from what Kasha told us last night, there used to be hundreds of them and now less than ten. I’m not sure how the minister would react to letting them breed in numbers, but then from what I’ve heard, he's much easier to reason with. I’d speak with Kasha first and see if she wants to do this.’

I nodded and in the few hours we waited for the minister to arrive, I spoke with Kasha and she agreed that the Rangers site would be the perfect place for them and they would be happy to take over some of the responsibilities the Rangers had, in exchange for supplies and education for the young. I also gave them the other copy of my book so that should they want to live a life without pain, they could do so. It would be a rough first few months while everyone adjusted to this new found balance, but maybe in time peace would settle.

It was time for Remus to leave and get back to the school, I wasn’t able to walk with him to the portkey, as much as I wanted to, my body was still too weak to make any kind of journey beyond my cabin. He packed up his things and sat down next to me on the steps while the sun began to drift lower in the sky.

‘I expect you’ll be coming home a little sooner than expected?’ He asked and I nodded.

‘I think I’ll spend another few weeks here, but I’ll have to come back for the meeting with Fudge. I'm hoping Kasha’s pack will give me some good fire power during the discussion.’ I explained.

‘Well, in that case, I suggest inviting him here and giving him a tour of the place if you feel up for it.’ Remus said and I frowned at him. ‘We often don’t understand things unless we can see them with our own eyes, it's why most teachers favour the practical approach, it might help your case if he can see that a wild pack can be reasoned with.’

‘I suppose. I’ll think about it, but while I’m still in this state I won’t be giving anyone a tour.’ I chuckled and felt my body flare with aches that I was now getting used to. I looked up at Remus and noticed just how handsome he really was. ‘I don’t want you to leave.’ I said quietly.

‘I don’t want to leave either, but don’t worry, you’ll see me again soon.’ Remus smiled and checked his watch. ‘I’m so proud of you Angelina, good luck with the minister and make sure you’re brave with your words… I might not be able to visit as much as I would like to, I promise I will try my hardest to find a weekend where I can come and see you.’

‘I understand you’ll be busy.’ I told him and watched his eyes gaze at every part of my face. ‘I still think you’re very handsome.’ I said and watched his cheeks turn pink.

‘I’m glad you think so.’ He said quietly. ‘I have to go. I’ll see you soon.’

‘Let me know when you get back?’ I asked.

‘Of course.’ He nodded and watched me for a moment, before leaning down to kiss me. I could feel a small amount of resistance in his kiss and I wasn’t certain why. ‘I’ll miss you. Watch out for my letter.’ He winked and stood up, I watched something happen behind his eyes and once again he leaned down to kiss me. 

I smiled as he pulled away and wandered off towards the edge of the sanctuary, my father had rushed into the cabin to collect his bag and I waved to Remus as he turned around to say goodbye.

‘Good luck Angie. I’ll tell your mother you’ll write this evening as long as you promise you will.’ My father said breathlessly and kissed my forehead, before running after Remus to catch the portkey back to England together. It was hard to watch them leave, but I knew I still had a lot of work to do in Bulgaria and the minister would be here soon.

I picked up my book and wrote to Fudge, inviting him here the day before our discussion, he may well have said no and I expected that to be the reply, but it was worth asking. I spent another half hour sleeping before David woke me up to talk with the new Bulgarian minister. Kasha joined the discussion and we talked about moving everyone to the Rangers site. 

At first he wasn’t keen on the idea, but after around three hours of negotiations we finally decided on a probationary period of six months to see if this was worthwhile. Kasha agreed and I could see the pain of her loss sitting just behind her eyes, it made me a little uncomfortable to watch her push through.

Aleksander made the arrangements to get the pack to the site the next day, it was a full moon and the park would be closed in that area. He would put up a few charms to keep the pack secure and the next day he would take a supply of Silvermint Tea for them to have in the morning. I had offered to go with him, but we didn’t know if I would be fully recovered by that time and instead Elena went with him.

Remus had written to me and let me know he was safe and sound back at the castle, I wasn’t sure what to write back, I had been in the middle of making the dreamless sleep potion and I felt a twinge of guilt. But I had justified the whole thing by telling myself that I would need the energy for the following day. I had cried well into the night, not being able to close my eyes properly without seeing Dimitri laying next to me, but soon I was asleep and without dreams.


	16. Home

Remus really hadn’t wanted to leave, he just wanted to stay and hold her and kiss her and make everything better for her, but he wasn’t adjusting to what had happened either. He had a few more nightmares and wrote to Angelina to tell her as such, she had mentioned a few of her own, but Remus had grown suspicious at how few she was having. The two weeks before the start of term went on and she was consistent in her mentioning of nightmares so he figured she must have been telling the truth. He left it there and didn’t bother asking again, not while they were both so busy.

It had become habit that they would only write to each other at the beginning and the end of the day and usually it would only be once to say goodnight or let each other know how busy they would be that day. He hated that he couldn’t talk to her more, but he had begun to get used to the fact that this might well be how they would live at least for the next couple of months while the situation in Bulgaria settled down and the school term started.

Dumbledore had asked Remus to go with him to see a particular student that would be coming to Hogwarts that year, a girl who had recently been bitten by a werewolf and her parents had been convinced that she would not be able to attend Hogwarts.

‘I understand your concerns,’ Dumbledore said as they all sat around the kitchen table and Remus sipped his tea quietly. ‘But I really see no reason that Erin should not be able to come to school. This is why I have brought Professor Lupin with me today, he is our Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher and is somewhat an expert in the field of Lycanthropy.’

‘You think she can go to school Professor?’ The father asked, his eyes looked tired and weary, like it had been a long few days.

Remus cleared his throat, feeling a little nervous. ‘Yes, absolutely. I see no reason for her to be excluded because of her condition.’

‘But what if she-?’ The father asked and took a breath not being able to say what he wanted to say.

‘Have you heard of Angie Lockwood?’ Dumbledore cut in. Both of them shook their heads. 

‘Wait,’ the mother said, ‘the Triwizard winner?’

‘Yes, she did indeed win the Tournament.’ Dumbledore stated proudly. ‘But before that she came up with something called Lockwood’s Wolfsbane. I don’t pretend to be an expert, but as I hear, it does a lot to dull the agony of transformation and makes it easier for people with the condition to live a very normal life.’

‘It does.’ Remus spoke up. ‘It really helps to keep the mind focussed and give the drinker that much more energy to carry out day to day activities, I think as long as Erin is taken care of properly there will be no reason that she should not be able to study and do well academically. And of course, I will be there should she need any advice or any guidance on the subject.’

‘This Wolfsbane potion really works?’ The father asked after a few moments, mulling over the subject.

‘Yes…’ Remus nodded. ‘I have first hand experience of it working.’ He admitted finally and both parents looked a little shocked.

‘Wait, you’re a…?’ The mother sat back and stared at Remus. ‘You’re like her?’

‘I am a werewolf yes and have been for a very, very long time.’ Remus sighed. ‘Since taking Lockwood’s Wolfsbane I have never passed on my condition to anyone and have been able to teach at the school every day of the week, save the morning after, and there has been no risk to any student at the school. Erin has the opportunity to follow the same path.’

‘May we speak with her?’ Dumbledore suddenly asked. Both parents looked to Dumbledore, still trying to comprehend what they had been told. ‘It’s no good us discussing this if Erin does not want to come to Hogwarts.’

Finally, the father nodded and went upstairs to bring Erin down. She was a very shy girl, with thick brown hair and dark eyes, she looked like she had been crying heavily.

‘Erin, this is Professor Dumbledore and Professor Lupin from Hogwarts.’ Her father said and she just looked down at the floor.

Remus turned in his seat to face her. ‘Erin, we’ve been talking about you coming to Hogwarts this year.’ He said carefully. ‘Is that something that would interest you?’ The girl nodded and wiped away a few tears. ‘Well then, let’s talk about what you want to learn. What interests you?’

Erin said nothing and it was suddenly clear that she was in pain. Her father helped her sit up on a chair and she immediately looked like she hurt less.

‘You were bitten on your leg?’ Remus asked and Erin nodded. ‘Did you go to St Mungo's at all?’ She shook her head. ‘In that case, may I take a look at it. It’s important that it heals over as soon as possible to prevent it getting infected.’ Erin looked to her parents and her father nodded.

Erin slowly pulled up her trouser leg to reveal a slightly bloodied bandage covering a nasty bite on her calf and shin. Remus carefully and as gently as he could, peeled away the bandage and assessed the wound.

‘Well, looks like you’ve still got a little way to go.’ He said and tried to rack his brain for something that would help the wounds close up. ‘I’ll need to ask Angelina for a little advice here.’ He told Dumbledore, who nodded and began discussing arrangements with her parents. Remus pulled out his parchment and a quill and wrote in red ink to Angelina, hoping she had the book on her and could get back to him immediately. Erin took an interest in the parchment and he smiled at her. ‘Angelina Lockwood is the world's leading expert in Lycanthropy, she will know what to do.’ He said and Erin just stared at him. ‘Are you in pain?’ He asked and the tears began escaping her again, but only for a moment, before she put her brave face on and shook her head. Remus could tell she was lying and felt for the girl that sat in front of him, she had learnt to put the brave face on already.

Erin gasped at the new writing appearing on the parchment. Remus looked down and smiled.

Star grass salve with a teaspoon of silver for every ounce ground in should be fine, though St Mungo’s will have something stronger. Make sure the entire wound is covered, clean it first and then apply. Everything okay?

Remus smiled and quickly wrote back. ‘Do you have any star grass salve in the house?’ Remus asked Erin’s father.  
‘Erm, yes I think we have some upstairs.’ He said and stood up to retrieve it.

‘I just so happen to have some silver, just in case.’ Remus explained to Erin who gave a small smile. ‘Now, this will hurt a little, but I’ll need you to stay very still. Can you do that for me?’ Erin nodded. ‘Good. I’ll also give you something called Silvermint Tea, it’s especially designed to ease pain and give people like us more energy. Do you think you could drink that once we’re done?’ She nodded again. ‘Good. See, this is easy.’ Remus smiled and managed to pulled a small smile from Erin. 

Her father came back with the salve and Remus began making the star grass salve with silver in a small bowl Erin’s mother provided. Remus cleaned the wound as best he could without hurting her too much, he was aware of how much it stung, but he did his best.

‘Right, now comes the hard part.’ Remus said and watched Erin for a moment. He had already rolled up his sleeves and pushed them up a little further. He went into his pocket and pulled out the chocolate he always kept on him for emergencies and handed her a piece. ‘We can do this.’ Remus said, trying to give her confidence. Erin finished her chocolate and Remus handed her mother the Tea to heat up for when he was finished. ‘Erin, take a breath, stay calm and I’ll try and be as quick as I can.’

Erin sniffed, but did as Remus asked and took a deep breath, ready for him to cover her leg before applying fresh bandages.

‘If it helps, think of a time when you felt happiest.’ Remus said, adjusting her leg so that it rested on his thigh and he could reach every part of the wound as quickly as possible. ‘A birthday you loved, or a family trip somewhere, first time you tasted your favourite food, maybe a time when you thought the worst was going to happen, but it turned out to be the very best thing. Can you do that for me?’ Erin nodded and Remus could see a pull of a smile again. 

He scooped up a large amount of of the salve and waited for the moment when Erin was entirely absorbed in her memory. He wasted no time in applying the salve and just as he suspected, he needed the help of her parents to keep her calm. She was crying and pleading for it to stop, but Remus only had a little way to go. He scooped up the last remaining salve and lathered the rest of the infected area in it. He barely skipped a beat before wrapping the bandages around her leg and ensuring they were secure. Remus took a breath.

‘That’s it, we’re done.’ He said and stood up to get rid of the bowl and wash his hands. ‘Erin, make sure you drink that Tea soon, the pain will ease as soon as you do.’ He said, more to her mother, who immediately poured the boiling liquid into a mug. Remus exchanged a look with Dumbledore who nodded to him. They had done well. ‘The wounds should heal over in no time. If you’re unsure about anything, head to St Mungo’s and ask for George Lockwood, Angelina’s father, or if he's not available speak to Jack Rathborne, either one will be able to help you.’ Remus told Erin’s father.

He nodded and watched as Erin, began to look better and brighter already. ‘Thank you.’ She whispered to Remus, he just smiled and shook his head.

‘Can we expect to see you at school this year?’ He asked and Erin still looked apprehensive. ‘Erin, no one is forcing you to do anything, but Professor Dumbledore and I think it’s in everyone’s best interests that you come to Hogwarts this year. If you have any questions then feel free to write and ask and I will reply as soon as I can with an answer.’

Remus went back around the table to collect his jacket and he and Dumbledore made to leave. ‘I won’t be in Slytherin will I?’ Erin suddenly spoke up and everyone turned their attention to Remus who looked almost startled that she had made a noise at all.

‘Erin, I can’t say for certain which house you will be in, but I can assure you that if you don’t want to be in Slytherin, then the sorting hat will try and place you elsewhere.’ Remus smiled again and Erin seemed satisfied with his answer.

‘I want to go to Hogwarts.’ She said and her parents let out a sigh of relief.

‘In that case,’ Remus delved into his inside pocket and pulled out a letter. ‘Here is your Hogwarts letter. We can discuss arrangements for you once you get there and I’ve had the chance to speak wth Madam Pomfrey. Welcome to Hogwarts Erin, I look forward to teaching you.’ Remus smiled again and followed Dumbledore out of the house.

‘I must say a very well done Remus.’ Dumbledore said as they walked towards the end of the street. ‘I was convinced that revealing your own condition so soon may have had the opposite effect.’

‘If there’s anything I’ve learned from Angelina’s work it’s that people prefer to know that they aren’t alone in these situations.’ Remus noted. ‘I’m sure this will make for an interesting year.’ He chuckled and Dumbledore smiled.

They apparated back to the castle and Remus went about writing to Angelina thanking her for her help and hoping she was okay whatever she was doing.

 

I had been incredibly busy that day, mostly helping to turn the Rangers site into something a little more habitable for the pack. Aleksander was there just about everyday and always made sure the pack had what they needed, he was still hurt over Nico’s betrayal and I could see him desperately trying to get past it, helping the pack seemed to ease the pain a little and I was glad to see him settling properly. 

Kasha was now the pack leader and everyone seemed satisfied with that. Aleksander and Kasha had grown very close and I wondered if they would end up like myself and Remus. We had talked about looking into education for the younger members of the pack and I agreed to ask a few of my friends to make the odd visit over and give them classes in various subject they might have found useful. David would be making regular trips along with Cassie to teach them about various creatures and David agreed to help them grow the ingredients needed for some of the medicinal potions they could make on their own.

Aleksander had been promoted in the ministry by the time the summer was over and the pack had settled. He would be the chief liaison between the park and the ministry and he would also take the position of lead ranger. The minister believed he was the best man for the job considering his knowledge of the park and how well he got on with everyone. Aleksander was very excited to start work and maybe look at putting into practice some new policies to help everything run smoother. He would talk with the muggle resorts and come to peaceful resolutions during the full moon and keep them up to date on the no go areas.

I knew he would do a great job and I was excited to see him do well, but it seemed my time was coming to an end. Fudge had taken me up on my offer to come and see the sanctuary as well as meeting with Kasha who seemed nervous, but I had assured her that Aleksander would be there throughout and there was no pressure to do anything or say anything at all.

I had received the Pirin National Park special award for services to the park and had been given a plaque with the park logo and my name at the bottom, that I knew I’d be handing over to my parents to do with what they liked. It’d probably sit next to my other awards and when I was home, I’d be forced to stare at them while I slept.

Fudge seemed very impressed by the park and by the work that was being done. He had arrived with Kingsley, a man called Alistair Moody and Benji who was still in training but looked like he’d had his fair share of battles over the summer.

I took them all around the paddocks and I was surprised to find that they could all see the Thestrals, even Benji and immediately I felt for him. I remembered the first time I saw them and I was startled to say the least, I had been walking with David, talking about the move to the Rangers site when one of them crossed my path and I fell back just staring up at the intimidating creature. It was one of the trained Thestrals that was being taken out for a walk in the cooler air and I couldn't help just staring in awe at such a magnificent creature. I could see why David liked them so much, they were like nothing I’d ever seen before.

Soon though it was time to leave the sanctuary and I took one last look around the cabin, mostly checking for anything I might have forgotten, but a little so that I could say goodbye to the place I’d called home over the last three months. I’d left the map hanging on the wall in case the next person to occupy the cabin found it useful, though I expected a new one would be put up at some point soon. I hugged David and nearly felt myself lose control of my tears, but he didn’t let me feel sad for long.

‘We’ll see each other at the wedding if nothing else.’ He winked at me. ‘Remember to write when you can and I’ll keep you updated on everything here. Stay safe Angie.’ 

‘When have I ever stayed safe?’ I joked and we laughed for a moment.

‘Well, try at least.’ David said with a slightly more serious tone. I nodded and said my goodbyes to the other trainers and Aleksander and Kasha who both thanked me for what I had done.

I didn’t know what to say so I just gave them both smiles and told Kasha that as soon as she learned to write I’d be expecting a letter, she laughed and agreed.

‘I’ll see you all again.’ I winked and left with the minister and the Aurors. I turned back just as I had my hand on the portkey and waved at everyone. The portkey took us to just outside Fudge’s office and it was a lot colder than I had anticipated. I immediately put my coat on that I hadn’t worn in months and zipped it up all the way.

‘I expect you’ll be freezing after spending so long in the warmer climate.’ Fudge laughed and I nodded, shivering slightly. ‘Well, best hurry home and I’ll see you in the morning Miss Lockwood.’

‘Good night minister.’ I said, smiling a little and nodded to everyone else. Kingsley walked me out and told me that my mother was probably still in the office. We walked along and sure enough there she was talking with a few other Aurors about some plan being put into place in the south of England. I took a seat at her desk and waited for her to finish. When she did, I was caught in a death hug.

‘Oh Angie.’ She said and I could feel her trying not to cry. ‘I’m so glad you’re home safely. Dad told me what happened, said you were very brave out there.’

‘Mum.’ I whined and tried to get out of the embarrassing grip she had on me, but just ended up laughing a little.

‘What? You think embarrassment is going to stop me from hugging you?’ She joked and I just rolled my eyes. ‘I’ve got a few bits and pieces to finish off, I’ll meet you in the reception in half an hour and we’ll pick up dinner on the way home. Think about what you want.’

I smiled at my mother and couldn’t help myself, I hugged her again and sighed. ‘I love you mum.’

‘I love you too darling.’ She said and kissed the side of my head, looking down at me and smiling. ‘I’ll be with you soon.’

I nodded and made my way down to the large reception area of the ministry. I saw a few people I recognised, darting in and out of the bustle of people trying to get home, but they were all moving too fast to notice I was sitting waiting for my mother to meet me.

There was something odd about being back home, like I had become too accustomed to Bulgaria and the way things worked over there, the climate and the people, that I didn’t feel quite as comfortable in England anymore. Maybe I just needed to get used to it again.

I decided to write to Remus while I waited.

Remus,

Sorry I didn’t write this morning, it was all a bit hectic with Fudge coming to visit and I needed to make sure I was all packed up and ready to come home. And I’m sorry I haven’t been keeping you as up to date on everything as I said I would, it’s all been a bit crazy. But the good news is that I’m now back home and hopefully ready for my meeting with Fudge tomorrow. It’s a shame you couldn’t make anymore visits over, but I understand you’ve got a busy year ahead. I’d like see you again soon though, let me know when you’re free and I’ll make sure I have nothing planned.

I take it you know my book is selling fairly well, mostly Hogwarts students, but a few people outside of that seem to have been interested as well. Jocelyne and Benji have set a date for the wedding as well, 2nd December, Jocelyne always liked winter the best, no idea why, you can’t see any stars through the cloud cover and it's freezing, but she insists she likes it. I hope you can make it, I haven’t checked, but I’m fairly certain it’s not near a full moon… Let me know anyway.

It’s strange being back in England, still settling down I guess, the climate is something I’d forgotten about. I hate the cold, no that’s not true, I hate being cold. I find it so hard to warm up, I think that’s why I enjoyed Bulgaria so much. I think I’m just rambling now.

I have to go, my mother is staring at me and her watch.

Yours

Angelina

‘Who are you writing to?’ My mother asked.

‘Erm… Remus actually.’ I said, unsure if my father had said anything to her.

‘Ah yes, I forgot you were seeing him.’ She mused as we took the Floo Network to Diagon Alley. ‘Your father told me you seem very happy together.’ She smiled at me and I felt my heart lift.

‘I think I am.’ I smiled back.

‘Well, then I’m happy for you. You should invite him around for dinner sometime, it’d be nice to have the company and I’m sure Darren would like to know about it all.’ She kissed my forehead and we picked up dinner, I’d forgotten that Darren would have known long before my parents did. I made a mental note to write to him when I got home and tell him about what had happened.

 

Remus read through the letter just as he dismissed the last class of the day, he was unusually tired from the week he’d had. Nothing really happened, it was just long and he had been struggling to sleep through it. He was fairly certain the full moon was nearer to Christmas than 2nd December but he would have to double check. He raked his hand through his hair, slumped down in his chair and looked at the calendar he kept in his drawer before noticing Erin was still sitting in her seat, staring up at him. 

She had been placed in Hufflepuff and could not have been happier, he was aware that she had one or two people that she called friends, but mostly she was quiet and shy, never bothering anyone, she wasn’t being bullied as far as he could tell and she was doing well academically. The transformations had been tough on her the first couple of times, but he had assured her that they would get better and he promised that when she was a little older, he might talk to Dumbledore about possibly venturing outside during a transformation so that she didn’t feel quite as locked up.

He gave her a small frown and she smiled a little. She was actually quite funny once he had gotten to know her a little, very perceptive and highly sensitive to the way people felt around her. 

‘Everything okay Erin?’ He asked and tapped the parchment where Angelina’s message began to disappear. He picked up his quill and began writing out a reply.

‘Yes, sir.’ She said and nodded. ‘I just have a question.’

‘What would that be?’ Remus tried to give her a little more attention so as not to be rude, but truthfully his mind was on Angelina.

‘I just wanted to ask if you think it would be okay if I tried out for the Quidditch team next year?’ She asked and Remus gave a slightly deeper frown. ‘The matches aren’t played during the full moon and I’m pretty good at flying, at least Madam Hooch thinks so, I just wanted to ask what you thought about it?’

Remus looked down at his parchment for a moment and thought about what she was asking. ‘Erin,’ he put his quill down and leaned back in his chair. ‘Quidditch is a gruelling sport and it takes an enormous toll on the body should you get seriously injured… However, I think playing Quidditch could help you focus on other things besides your condition. It might be a good idea and as you say it's not played during the full moon… If it’s something you want to do, then I would encourage you to go ahead and try out next year. I hope you do well.’ Remus gave her a smile and it seemed to cheer her up a little.

‘Thanks Professor. There’s a seventh year chaser leaving at the end of the year, I’m going to try out for the position.’ She said excitedly.

‘I’m sure you’ll do very well Erin.’ He said warmly, he noticed that she had made no effort to move from her seat though. ‘Why do I feel there is another question on your mind?’

Erin looked a little bashful and turned her attention to her shoes. ‘Are you writing to Angelina again?’ Remus frowned, wondering how she could possibly have known that. ‘You just always seem a bit happier when you’re reading your parchment.’

Remus let out a small chuckle. ‘I forget how perceptive you are… Yes, I am writing to her. She’s just gotten back from her research trip in Bulgaria and is finding it difficult to adjust to the cold climate again.’ Remus said and it put a smile on Erin’s face. ‘You’d best hurry along to the Great Hall, I expect dinner will be served soon.’ Remus said and Erin nodded, collecting her things and leaving his classroom.

He mentally scolded himself for being so easy to read, but Erin didn’t have much to smile about and if he could give her something every now and again then maybe it was okay. Remus picked up his quill and finished writing his reply to Angelina.

Angelina,

I’m so glad you’re back, it’s fine that you didn’t write, I knew you’d be busy, especially the last couple of days. I’m sure you’ll adjust to the climate soon, you got used to the warmth easy enough.

How is your back? I should have asked sooner, but it only occurred to me this morning that with the damage done you might still be feeling the effects.

Of course I’d be happy to accompany you to the wedding, I’m sure Dumbledore wouldn’t mind my leaving for a couple of days, the 2nd is a Thursday and if you wanted, we could go somewhere for the weekend, somewhere warm if you like? It was just a thought I was having if you were interested. I should be free this weekend to see you, if you have nothing else planned?

I’ve missed you so much and I cannot wait until I see you again.

Yours

Remus

I had been incredibly tired after dinner with my parents, they had asked about what I had learned whilst in Bulgaria and I told them all the stories I had to tell. I was exhausted by the end of it and needed to go to bed. That was when Kingsley Shacklebolt apparated in the back garden and told my mother of an emergency at the ministry and both my parents had to leave for the night. I told them I understood and wandered up to bed to read the reply from Remus.

I yawned and read it standing up as I didn’t want to risk falling asleep just yet, knowing I would if I lay down or even sat on my bed.

Remus,

Let’s talk about everything when I see you next. I’m free this weekend, mum said something about inviting you over for dinner, but if you don’t feel up for it, it’s fine. I’m easy.

Mum and dad were just called to an emergency at the ministry, I think they’ll be gone all night by the sounds of things. Apparently mum’s been gone for more nights than she used to, dad’s worried, understandably so. I think something big is happening, it looks like the Aurors are just trying to put fires out all over the country and it doesn’t look to be getting any easier.

My back aches still, but I haven’t given myself much rest. I spent most of the last months hiking around mountains and building up the Rangers site for the pack. I rode a Thestral though, one that I could see, I don’t think I mentioned that.

Anyway, I’m exhausted and I need to get some sleep. If you can, I would love for you to spend the night with me. If you can’t it’s fine, I’ll need to be up for my meeting tomorrow anyway. It was just a thought.

Yours

Angelina

I left the book open and began getting changed. I quickly darted downstairs to grab a pain relief for my back and began drinking it as I took my t shirt off. I looked down at the book and saw Remus’s reply.

I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.

I smiled and continued to get ready for bed. I was so tired, but just feeling him with me would be enough. I brushed my teeth and looked at my tired face, part of me wanted to tell Remus not to come and see how tired I was. My eyes were dark and though I’d gotten a good tan in Bulgaria, I still looked a little pale. I sighed and wandered back into my bedroom, slipping my sleeping shorts on and suddenly feeling two warm hands wrap around my waist.

‘Angelina.’ Remus sighed into my neck. ‘I’ve missed you.’ I held his hands against my skin, before I needed to turn around and kissed him deeply. We stayed like that for so long, just holding each other close and breathing each other in. Remus didn’t feel quite as desperate and he felt in more control this time, I remembered what he had said about what happens close to full moon.

‘Remus.’ I breathed and he stopped to look at me. I stared up into his bright blue eyes, I could see he was tired, but he poured happiness and I smiled, kissing him again and running my hands through his hair. I felt him push his hands up my back and I gasped at the pressure. ‘Sorry,’ I said, ‘it still aches a bit.’ I told him.

‘That’s okay.’ Remus said and smiled. ‘You’re exhausted. Come on, you should sleep.’

I chuckled and finished the rest of the pain relief. I took my bra off and slipped on a vest, only to find Remus was staring at me, his eyes were almost black. ‘See something you like?’ I teased.

He smiled weakly and kicked off his shoes and unbuttoned his shirt. I sighed and ran my hand over my lower back that ached the most, I’d be fine just as soon as I got into bed and could rest properly. I turned to see Remus watching me curiously.

‘Come here, I might be able to help.’ He said and moved out of the way for me to slide under the quilt. ‘Lie on your stomach and try to relax.’ He said and I did as he asked. Remus lay propped up on his elbow just next to me and began running his hand lightly over the skin on my lower back, it felt nice and I was very relaxed, until he began to add pressure and massaging the muscles. It was uncomfortable to begin with, but the more he did it and the further up he explored, the more I could feel the muscles loosening. He eventually kissed between my shoulder blades and ran his lips up, stopping just below my ear. ‘Better?’

‘Much.’ I mumbled and realised that I’d nearly fallen asleep.

‘Good.’ He chuckled. Remus pulled the quilt up and settled in behind me. ‘Goodnight Angelina.’ He whispered and I hoped I said it back, but more likely I’d fallen asleep straight away.

 

My eyes snapped open, something felt wrong. I could feel an extraordinary amount of rage fading away and I let out a breath realising just how tense I was. ‘Angelina.’ Someone whispered and I suddenly remembered that Remus had come to see me that night, I looked up to see him leaning on his elbow, watching me curiously. ‘Are you okay?’ He asked. ‘It was a nightmare, wasn’t it?’ He said and I felt the tears fall hot and fast. Remus pulled me close to him and it was an unusual feeling, having someone hold me after a nightmare. It felt right though.

‘I don’t remember it.’ I finally said once I’d stopped crying. ‘I don’t remember what happened.’

‘It’s okay.’ Remus whispered and kissed my head. ‘It’s okay, do you want to stay awake?’

I shook my head, I was too tired. ‘I want to sleep, I need to rest.’ I told him and Remus adjusted so that I could sleep on his chest. After that, I managed to sleep right the way through until the morning.

 

Remus was beginning to enjoy waking to the sweet, light smell that was entirely Angelina. He could do it every day forever if he got the chance and never be happier. But when she had been shaking in her sleep that night, he hadn’t been more scared for anyone. She eventually stopped and he hoped the nightmare was over. He didn’t quite know what to do and he had hoped in offering to stay awake with her, she would feel safer.

He ran his fingers through her hair and watched her sleep for a little longer, he’d reached for his watch and realised he would need to get back to the castle soon and get ready for the day ahead he really didn’t want to wake her, but he couldn’t just leave without an explanation. So, he began to wake her up gently.

‘Remus.’ She mumbled and he gave a small chuckle.

He kissed her forehead. ‘I have to go.’ He said quietly. ‘It’s still early, but I have classes first thing.’ He explained.

‘Will you come back?’ She asked and tried to open her eyes all the way.

‘I’ll see you at the weekend, we can spend the whole time together. We can do anything you want.’ He assured her. It made her smile.

‘Kiss me.’ She said, still with a smile on her face and Remus couldn’t resist. He brushed away the hair that had made it around her face and pressed his lips carefully to hers, he felt her deepen the kiss slightly and he let her, knowing that he had much more control over himself than he usually did, but soon it was a little much even for him.

‘I’m sorry.’ He said, pulling away. ‘I really need to go though.’ He gave her a quick kiss and forced himself up and out of bed. He slipped his shirt back on and caught her watching him, her eyes were still heavy, but she was making every effort to stay awake and watch him. ‘Your meeting is this afternoon?’ She nodded. ‘You should try and get some more sleep then.’ Remus said and kneeled down next to her bed. ‘Good luck, write to me when it’s over and let me know how you got on. I’m so proud of you Angelina and I’m so happy you’re back home… I think I might have a plan for the weekend as well.’ He said, thinking of a couple of ideas about what they could do together. ‘I’ll write tonight when you’re back.’ He watched her smile at him and pressed one last kiss to her lips.

‘See you soon.’ She whispered. Remus stood up, still smiling, he picked up his jacket and put it on, adjusting his collar. He could see her drifting to sleep again.

‘See you soon.’ He said back and disapparated back to the castle. He wished he’d taken his cloak with him to combat the cold, but he’d been so eager to see Angelina that he’d simply rushed out of the castle, avoiding anyone still up so that he wouldn’t have to provide an explanation for his leaving. Remus trudged back up to the castle, there was a light rain that had come on, but the kind of rain that soaked you through and by the time he’d gotten back to his quarters, he was almost freezing. Nothing a hot shower couldn’t fix.

Remus thought about Angelina a lot that day, he had a new found energy that he hadn’t had the day before and was glad that he didn’t have to teach Erin that day. He kept an eye on the time and once lunch was finished, he had a free period where all he did was think about what Angelina could be talking about with the minister.

 

‘Angie.’ The minister greeted me and shook my hand enthusiastically as I entered the reception area of his office. ‘How are you? Safe trip over?’ He gestured for me to enter his office.

‘It was fine thank you, little busier than anticipated, but that was all.’ I said and took the seat opposite the minister, next to a roaring fire, something I was immensely grateful for.

‘Good.’ He said and waved his hand to start making some tea. ‘Well, we may as well get down to business. I apologise about how vague I was in my letter, but I had rather hoped to keep this meeting out of the public eye.’ I frowned at the minister. 

‘We’re not discussing the reclassification of werewolves are we?’

‘No we will, I just… I need something from you in exchange for the discussion.’ The minister admitted. ‘I heard about your less that friendly talk with the late Bulgarian minister, I promise that this will not be like that… There are rumblings, rumours and whispers floating around the country and the Aurors office is struggling to keep up. I fear that this is simply the beginning of something much greater coming our way, that maybe our attention is being distracted in some way from the real problem.’

‘And what is the real problem?’ I sipped my tea, intrigued as to why the minister was talking to me about this and not someone like my mother or Kingsley.

‘The real problem is unknown at this current time.’ The minister sighed. ‘But Dumbledore seems to think it’s worth paying attention to. I only want to ask one thing of you, I ask that anywhere you go, any country or county or settlement of any kind, you make the effort to speak with the minister or any kind of senior Auror. I want you to find out if anything unusual has been happening, any disappearances that they haven’t made us aware of or anyone they suspect have less than kind intentions.’

I watched the minister for a moment, I wished I had Remus with me to help, but the sneakoscope in my pocket had remained still in my jacket pocket, so maybe he was honestly asking me. ‘Why me?’ I asked finally.

‘Because, you can hide in plain sight.’ The minister smiled. ‘You are a world expert, that gives you certain privileges that others do not have. You can ask for any size accommodation you need to conduct research and have access to dangerous people should you ask for it. You also have access to high ranking officials. Your lot are the biggest inconvenience any government has to deal with, but you are incredibly useful as well.’

‘Before I leave, remind me to ask you about the other privileges I’m not aware I have.’ I smiled and it made the minister chuckle and nod. ‘Okay, I’ll see what I can find out, but just so you’re aware, I have no idea where I’m going next, it could take a little while for me to figure it out.’

‘That’s alright.’ The minister raised his hand. ‘It’s a long shot that you’ll hear anything of use anyway, but just in case you do.’ I nodded and sipped my tea. ‘Now, onto the real reason you’re here, the reclassification of werewolves. I’m sorry to tell you that I think we are several years away from placing them into the half breed category, given the current climate, the lack of information and the fact that the world only has one expert, I believe it will be difficult to convince many others to vote in favour.’

‘Well then, I’ve got a lot of work to do in the next few years.’ I said, smiling slightly. ‘Minister, I don’t think it will be that difficult to convince people of the benefits of the reclassification. These people live in fear and most of them only want to live normal lives, just like the rest of us. It’ll be interesting to see how well Kasha and her pack adjust to a piece of our own civilisation.’

‘Indeed.’ Fudge nodded. ‘Aleksander has agreed to send monthly updates on their progress, I shall be looking forward to reading the reports.’

The minister and I continued to talk for well over two hours, to the point that he ran over into his next meeting. I decided to go to Diagon Alley for whatever reason and walked past Flourish and Blotts, I wanted to talk to Lysander Stott about possibly writing another book, it did good business for both myself and the shop and seemed only logical given the fact that I’d already learnt so much about the Pack in Pirin National Park.

I entered the shop to find it nearly empty, it was the middle of the day though and no students around. I walked up to the desk and rang the bell to get the attention of the girl who had her back to me in the back room.

‘Hello, how can I help you?’ She said pleasantly, pushing her large glasses up her nose.

‘Hi, I was wondering if Lysander Stott was available to see me. My name is Angie Lockwood, he published a book of mine recently.’ I explained.

‘Yes, yes, we know all about Lockwood’s Wolfsbane. A truly wonderful piece if I may say.’ She said rather excitedly and I was a little taken back. ‘I’ll just see if Mr Stott is in his office, can I tell him the subject of your visit?’

‘It was just to talk about the possibility of writing another book.’ I said and smiled at the girl, but it was difficult as I had started shivering again.

‘Of course. I’ll be two minutes.’ She said and bounded off up the back stairs. I wandered around the shelves next to the desk and glanced through a few books, purposely avoiding the deadly creatures and potions section where my book would presumably sit. It was a little while before the girl appeared again and I wondered what had kept her so long. Though I found out when she told me I could head straight for his office up the stairs and at the end of the corridor. The corridor itself stretched further than I could see and it took me a while to get to his office.

‘Miss Lockwood.’ A man in his forties with greying hair greeted me. He had dark eyes and fairly plain features. He looked just like a bookworm, someone who didn’t get out much, a bit of a hunch from reading in libraries and a soft voice which I imagine didn’t get used very often. ‘To what do I owe the pleasure?’ He said and gestured for me to sit opposite him in his brightly lit office.

‘Please call me Angie.’ I said and took the seat. ‘I just popped by to say thank you again for taking a chance on my book.’

‘Oh please, I always enjoy something new coming through the doors.’

‘I also wanted to ask your opinion on writing another?’ I swallowed. ‘I’ve been studying the wild pack in Bulgaria and just got back yesterday. I took a lot of notes and it seems there might be enough for another book on the subject. I’d also like to look into maybe making a sort of guide to werewolf behaviours and hopefully once I’ve studied a little more, it can help werewolves determine good months from bad months etc.’

‘Well, it’s a little specific.’ He said rubbing his chin. ‘Without knowing how much data you’ve collected, I can’t say for certain, but generally if you’re writing about something like specific packs, you might want to include a few more. The idea is solid don’t get me wrong, but maybe needs a little fleshing out?’

I nodded taking his point. ‘Yeah, you’re probably right.’ I chuckled. ‘It was just a thought, I wanted to use the data to help with werewolf rights as well. We’ve integrated the pack into a more civilised way of life and hopefully over the next six months will be a fully functioning and productive part of the society in the park.’

‘Now there’s an interesting subject.’ Lysander said excitedly. ‘Why don’t you send me what you have and I’ll draw up another contract? Make sure you sign it before you send anything though, it’s more for your protection than mine, if any of your notes are published without your consent, the contract will provide you with a means of taking legal action. But I can assure you, I would never breach those terms.’

I nodded and smiled. ‘I’ll send you what I have along with the contract then. I’m staying with my parents just now, I look forward to hearing from you.’ I said and stood up to shake Lysander’s hand. He had a twinkle in his eye that told me he was excited to read what I had.

The trip back home was easy enough, but the stack of mail that lay on the kitchen table for me was daunting to say the least. My parents had drawn my attention to it before I’d gone to bed that night, but I was too tired to go through any of it. I sat down and began shifting through each piece of mail, some of it was from Jack, Clara, Jocelyne and Benji that I’d missed before I left, a couple from McGonagall asking me to teach a few classes if I got the chance, possibly in the following year once I’d settled into my life outside of Hogwarts.

It was something I hadn’t quite thought about yet, the fact that I was no longer at Hogwarts, no longer with a specific schedule and without anything tying me down. I was free to do anything I chose and I had no idea where to start. I had thought about possibly going to study dragons in Romania for a few months or even the Chimaeras in Greece, I really could do anything I wanted. The Chimaeras sounded fairly appealing due to the warmer climate, but I also wanted to go and see the Yetis in Tibet, something no one had really done before considering the fact that they would eat anything alive they meet… Maybe save that for a time when I was more experienced.

I remembered my promise to write to Remus and went upstairs to grab my book and began writing to him.

Remus,

The meeting went well, we talked a lot and both agree that it could take some time for the reclassification to be passed, I’m sorry you’ll have to wait longer for it, but I’ll keep doing my best for you. 

He asked me for something else as well, but I’d rather discuss that in person, I feel the subject is something we need to talk in depth about. That and so many other things. I stopped in at Flourish and Blotts as well to see Lysander Stott who has agreed to publish my next book if I feel I want to write one, I’d like to get a comprehensive guide on werewolf behaviours and patterns written as well. I might need your help with that one though, just a few questions that I think you could answer for me.

Anyway, that’s me back home safe and sound and I’m thinking about where my next adventure will take me, the chimaeras in Greece look especially appealing just now, or maybe the dragons in Romania. You can help me decide where to go next if you like?

You said you had some ideas about this weekend? I’m intrigued to hear about these ideas.

Mum and dad still aren’t back yet, I haven’t heard from them and I’m getting a little worried I’ll be on my own again tonight.

Yours

Angelina

Remus had stopped at the first paragraph, he could not believe that she had apologised for the length of time it would take to put people like him into the half breed category. He was just grateful that she was putting as much work into it as she was, no one had worked so hard for the werewolf community as she had and he was beginning to think that he wasn’t as supportive as he should have been in her endeavours.

He had already received a letter back from James telling him that all the arrangements had been made for him to take Angelina to see the northern lights that weekend, James had gotten him a nice cabin that sat just overlooking the city of Reykjavik, he told him it was perfect for viewing the Aurora borealis and the forest nearby had some fairly cool creatures living in it that would definitely appeal to Angelina. James and lily had already been to see the lights plenty of times and the cabin was given to the Quidditch team as a gift for their frequent visits.

Angelina,

Remind me to tell you in person how ridiculous you are for your apology, you’ve done so much already for people like me that you of all people should never have to apologise.

I’m glad your meeting went well, though I am now concerned that you have something you’d like to discuss in person, it can only mean you don’t trust that these messages won’t be intercepted and I can assure you I placed the charm myself and it cannot be intercepted without a trace being left that I would notice. However, I won’t force you to say anything here if you don’t want to.

The book sounds like a wonderful idea and of course I’d be more than happy to answer any questions you have, I just hope I can be of some use to you.

My plans for the weekend include us spending the time somewhere beautiful and talking about anything you like. Say yes and I’ll pick you up tomorrow evening after my last class, pack something warm, I couldn’t do a warm climate, but I promise it’ll be worth it.

I’m sure your parents are fine, they are very capable people, but if you really are worried about them and need the company, I only have three classes tomorrow and don’t need to be at the castle until ten, I could come and keep you company if you wanted me to?

Yours

Remus

There was a vague hope that she would say yes and he would quickly finish his marking and go to see her immediately. No response came, it was the longest time before he heard anything and when the reply did come it was to tell him that her parents had come back home safely and that she was making dinner for them. She had said yes to the weekend and Remus was beyond excited to take her away with him, though she made it clear she would need to be back for the Monday as it was Jocelyne and Benji’s housewarming party. Angelina invited Remus to it, but it was likely he wouldn’t make it as there would be a lot of work waiting for him to catch up, he promised to make an appearance if he could though.

Remus went to bed planning the weekend with Angelina that night and realised that it would be the first time that they would have spent any time together as a couple. This could be the chance to find out if Angelina was ready to be in a real relationship with him, something he had been questioning since he realised they had only spent that one night together back in the summer before she went away and that was it. It might also have been an opportunity for them to talk a bit more about what the future might hold for them.

Truthfully Remus didn’t care what kind of future they had as long as it was one where they could both be happy together. He could handle a little time a part, could probably cope with a few months here and there, he could even imagine himself settling with the idea that she would be going to dangerous places, but something kept nagging away at him in the back of his mind, something he couldn’t quite place and it unsettled his thoughts slightly.


	17. The Calm Before The Storm

I could not wait to see what Remus had planned, my parents had told me they were excited as well, but I could tell they were slightly apprehensive about my going away for the weekend. I’d only just gotten back home after all, but I assured them that I would be home for at least a couple of weeks before I went off on my next adventure. 

I spent the day packing my rucksack with a few things I thought I might need, but mostly it was just warm clothes and a few bars of chocolate. I had written to Darren and Jack while I was waiting for Remus to come and pick me up, mostly just telling them that I was home and that I was looking forward to seeing them the next time I got the chance. I knew I’d see Jack on Monday, but Darren wouldn’t be home until Christmas and I couldn’t wait to see him after it had been so long since I'd last spoken to him properly.

‘Deep in thought?’ My head snapped up to see Remus standing in front of me smiling, I had been sitting outside on the garden bench while I waited. He looked very refreshed and excited with his bright blue eyes staring down at me. He wore his usual jacket with a thick brown scarf and his travelling cloak over one arm with his bag slung over his other shoulder.

I jumped up and hugged him excitedly. ‘Remus.’ I breathed and felt him hold me closer.

‘Are your parents in?’ He asked and I frowned, pulling back to see him.

‘No, they’re still at work.’ I said, still frowning. ‘Dad has to take care of a couple of Aurors that arrived last night and mum has to investigate their reason for being there… Why?’

‘No reason, I just wanted to let them know I’d look after you and have you back safe and sound at the end of the weekend.’ I gave him a questioning look. ‘It’s just something people do, fathers in particular appreciate it.’ He chuckled and I just shook my head. I quickly locked the back door to my house, swung my bag over my shoulder and took Remus’s hand that he was offering. ‘Now, do you trust me?’ He asked.

‘Of course I do.’ 

‘Good.’ He smiled and gave me a gentle kiss as we disapparated from my back garden to a place that was far colder than I was comfortable with. He pulled back and I could see a few people rushing around us, most of them looked like witches and wizards apparating and disapparating all in the same place and we stood in the middle of the area.

Without warning Remus grabbed my hand and guided me over to where a small building sat and a wizard who looked very miserable, watched the people coming and going as they pleased. I could see a little snowfall and tried to figure out where we were, definitely not in England that was for sure, hardly anyone was speaking English. Remus went to speak to the wizard and I continued to watch all the people bustling around each other. They all looked like they were on their way to somewhere important or going home, a couple were even meeting friends and family members. I looked up at the bright blue sky and tried to guess where we were, but it was no good.

‘Come on.’ Remus caught my attention and gently pulled me by the hand towards the back of the building where a carriage that was being pulled by two strong looking winged horses, they looked like Abraxan horses, but before I could get a good look, Remus had opened the door to the carriage for me to get inside. He followed and raised his eyebrows excitedly. ‘There’s no other way to get to where we’re going.’ He explained. ‘I thought you might like it though. I hear the view is nice at least.’ He gestured to the window and as soon as we took off I could not stop looking out at the bright city beneath us.

‘Where are we?’ I asked, knowing I had a huge smile plastered to my face.

‘Well, you’re a smart woman, surely you can figure it out.’ He teased.

I scowled at him and thought for a moment. ‘Northern hemisphere.’ I said and he nodded. ‘Probably north of Scotland, so Scandinavia, Nordic countries or Northern Europe.’

‘Go on.’ He said and leaned closer to me.

‘Northern Europe isn’t especially friendly and Russian is pretty close to Bulgarian.’ I continued, loving the proximity he was keeping to me. ‘No one sounded anything like that out there, so I’m going to say Scandinavia.’ I said and Remus continued to look expectant. ‘You want me to specify further?’

‘If you can guess the exact place we are by the time we land… Well, I don’t know what I could offer as a reward.’ He chuckled awkwardly. ‘How about we do anything you like tonight?’

‘Deal.’ I said, with my best cheeky grin. He just laughed and I thought hard about the places in Scandinavia that we could be. ‘The carriage is being pulled by Abraxans, they're more commonly found in Iceland and Norway… Norway is hard to get into, you have to go through Sweden and cross the border that way, so Iceland it is… any more specific than that?’

‘Keep going.’ Remus encouraged, he looked incredibly happy with himself.

‘I don’t know many places in Iceland.’ I chuckled.

‘You know this one.’

I frowned and had a moment of realisation, there was no way we were here, no way at all. ‘Reykjavik? We’re in Reykjavik?!’ I exclaimed and Remus nodded. I quickly looked out of the window again, before turning back to Remus and kissing him. ‘You took the weekend away from school to take me to Reykjavik, I can’t believe it.’ I laughed.

‘Wait until you see where we’ll be staying, James said it had an amazing view of the city.’ Remus said.

‘James?’

‘I asked him for a little advice.’ He said, his cheeks flushing slightly. ‘I’ve not really done anything like this before and I’m hardly a worldly traveller like yourself.’ I chuckled at that part and looked out of the window again, the view was stunning and I was so ready to spend my time with Remus all weekend. 

The rest of the journey was spent with Remus telling me about what had been happening up at the school at the beginning of term, not much of note, just a young werewolf called Erin wanting to try out for the Quidditch team that caught my attention.

Remus had asked how Kasha and the pack were getting on and I told him about Aleksander's position to not only be the park’s representative, but how he was also teaching them to read and write and the way the Rangers should have done things before Nico took over and began bending the rules. 

‘I think they’ll be fine.’ I said, finally. ‘Aleksander is a very capable man and he's good at what he does, he knows those mountains better than anyone and I don’t think we could have found anyone more dedicated to helping Kasha than him.’

Remus gave a slightly tighter smile and I frowned.

‘What was that?’ I asked.

‘What was what?’

‘Your smile. It was different, tighter, maybe more strained.’ I tried to explain and Remus sighed a little.

‘You’re getting better at picking up on things.’ He said and looked vaguely out of the window. ‘Usually when people smile like that it means they are hiding something, usually restraining themselves from saying something they’ll regret or trying to avoid the subject entirely.’

‘Which were you doing?’ I wasn’t exactly happy that Remus was hiding something from me, but forgave him a little for telling me the truth.

‘A little of everything.’ He admitted. ‘I can’t deny I didn’t like how close you and Aleksander became; when I visited you, I could see he was attracted to you and I was worried that you either wouldn’t notice and give him the wrong impression, or…’

‘Or what?’

Remus sighed and looked at me for the briefest moment, before turning his attention to the floor. ‘I was worried that you would choose him over me… He’s a similar age, doing very well for himself and you got along very well, it’s not hard to see that he might have been a better fit for you.’

‘You were jealous?’ I clarified.

‘Very much so.’ Remus frowned and looked up at me finally.

‘But why?’ I asked, not really understanding what would possess Remus to think that. ‘I don’t understand why you would think that. I told you I would choose you over everyone else and that’s what I’m doing aren't I? I am doing that, right?’ I had panicked slightly.

The carriage came to a stop and Remus looked at me. ‘Angelina, you don’t need to worry at all. I know you wouldn’t leave me, but you know that at certain times of the month I’m not quite myself and jealously comes very easy to me at those times… You’re doing everything right, I promise.’

Remus watched for me to calm down a little and I did, I felt notably calmer than I had done. He smiled and gestured for me to hop out. I did just that and felt the cold wind hit my face, I wrapped my arms around my waist and could feel my body about to start shivering. Remus got out behind me and rummaged in his pocket for a key. 

I turned to see a beautiful cabin on the side of the mountain looking down at the city. There was a broad window on the first floor that stretched from the floor to the ceiling with heavy logs surrounding it. The door was a heavy wood as well and it creaked a little as Remus managed to get it open. The inside of the cabin was only marginally warmer until Remus flicked his wand towards the fire place and the whole room immediately felt cosier. I let my rucksack fall beside me out of habit and ventured further into the cabin, there was a small kitchen off to one side and a light wooden staircase that led up to the first floor. The centre of the cabin had a table sitting in the middle of it and a living area sat to the other side of the door. A sofa and two chairs sat facing the fire place and I could see myself and Remus sitting watching the fire going down during the evening.

‘What do you think?’ Remus said, he was very close behind me and I could feel the warmth radiating off of him.

‘I think I can’t believe you did this.’ I said honestly. ‘I think it’s one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me.’ I turned around to see that Remus was taking his scarf off and smiling down at me. I leaned up and kissed him gently. I pulled away and watched him gaze over every part of my face, a small frown appeared on his face.

‘Angelina, you’re still worried about what I said in the carriage aren’t you?’ I hated to admit it, but I really was. ‘You don’t need to be. Just enjoy this time with me, I want to spend the weekend making you happy and I hope I’m making that clear.’

‘You are, I just don’t know how to make you happy as well.’ I admitted. ‘Jocelyne says it’s a two way street, if Benji does something nice for her then she always tries to do something nice back. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.’

Remus laughed a little and picked up our bags to take upstairs. I followed him, wanting to see the first floor as well. ‘Jocelyne and Benji aren’t me and you.’ Remus said and I looked around at the large bedroom that was most of the first floor, I could see a huge bathroom just off to one side, but there was another fireplace in the bedroom and again I could see myself and Remus falling asleep in front of it together. ‘If I can make you laugh or smile or tell me how happy you are, then I’ll be just as happy. You need to trust that.’

‘Still.’ I said, wandering to see the setting sun over the city below. ‘I’d like to do something for you, I don’t know what… Maybe that’s why I was apologising for the time it’s going to take to put werewolves into the half breed category?’

‘Maybe.’ Remus again stood close behind me. ‘You’ll get there one day and as far as I’m concerned it’s as good as done. I’ve seen you working incredibly hard over the years and you’ve never been in a position where you haven’t gotten something you’ve worked for. I have no doubts in my mind that you will continue to achieve great things.’

I smiled watching the sun get lower in the sky. ‘You’ll be there though? If I don’t succeed, you won’t leave me or anything?’ 

Remus slid his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. ‘There's no question. I wouldn’t leave you for any reason.’ He whispered and I just let him hold me, kissing the skin below my ear and making me relax into him. ‘Warm enough?’ He asked and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

‘Yes.’ I breathed.

‘Good.’ He chuckled into my neck and pressed a small kiss to me before moving to take his jacket off. I watched him for a moment, thinking on what life could be like in the future with him, if there even was much of a future between the two of us. ‘What are you thinking about?’ He asked and I sighed.

‘Everything… Us mostly.’ I admitted and took my jacket and jumper off as well, leaving me in just my vest. Remus gave me a strange look, before turning away.

‘Come on.’ He said. ‘Let’s have a cup of tea.’ I followed Remus back down stairs and he gestured for me to sit on the warm comfy sofa while he made us both a cup of tea. He eventually put the radio on for background noise and sat down with me. For a while, we just relaxed and watched the fire burning and the sun beginning to descend in the sky. ‘One of the reasons I wanted to bring you here was to talk about us, if you want there to be an us.’ Remus sighed. ‘I understand now that I have asked you for something so incredibly precious at such a young age that I never gave you any time to properly explore the world and everything it has to offer. However, I realise that your life hasn't exactly been like everyone else's and I won’t disrespect you by telling you what to do, you’re perfectly capable of making up your mind and choosing whatever you want… I just want you to understand, the things I have been through haven’t all been pleasant. That speech you made at the rights campaign about the life of a werewolf, that was me once and I cannot think of anything worse than subjecting you to a life where people look at you with anything other than adoration. Do you understand what I am saying?’

I just watched him for a moment, taking in everything he said and nodded.

‘Am I not enough for you?’ I asked, it was a genuine question. ‘I just mean, do you want someone who is smarter than me? Or someone that knows how to pick up on social things that I don’t, because I can learn all that stuff. I’m already starting to and I’m learning so much more everyday. I’ll work harder for the rights campaign. I’ll get you put in the Half Breed category, I can do that, I know I can… Is that what you want?’

Remus’s face just dropped. I tried my hardest to figure out what was going on, but like I’d said, I was still learning this stuff. ‘Angelina.’ He said quietly. ‘How could you possibly think that you’re not enough for me? You are so special and so many people aspire to be just like you. How could you think that I would want anyone that wasn’t you?’ Remus raked his hand through his hair, before suddenly realising something. ‘I understand why you’re asking, it’s because I asked if you wanted there to be an us, right?’ I nodded. Remus put his tea down on the coffee table and took my hand. ‘I desperately want there to be an us, I want you to be with me all the time. You’re more than enough for me, I couldn’t ask for more and if I did, I would only prove that I am not worth your time or concern. I don’t want you to be anything more than you already are, certainly not for me, but I know that you desire knowledge over everything else and I won’t ever stop you seeking it.’

I let my breath go in relief and settled into him touching my hand. Remus was just good at settling my fears, he just knew what I was thinking and why I was thinking it. ‘I need you to explain it to me.’ I said, stroking the palm of his hand and watching him frown a little. ‘What kind of future do you think we have?’

Remus tilted his head and smiled weakly. ‘Any future you want.’ He said. ‘I want you and that's it, you make me happy… If you want something more, then I'll give you more, I'd give you anything you ask for.’ Remus promised. I took a breath realising that was a lot he was offering and it was a little daunting for me. He could see it and I was worried he might've thought I was rejecting him.

‘That's a lot.’ I said, unsure what else to say.

‘It is.’ He laughed. ‘But when you feel about someone the way I feel about you… It's hard to want to give any less.’ I could see his cheeks flushing pink and I thought it was fairly endearing. The same thought from a couple of months ago fluttered across the front of my mind and I stopped, trying to catch it before it disappeared, but it was too late. I felt a whip of frustration, before focussing back on Remus who had a strange look, partly the dark look that I recognised but something else that I didn't. 

‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ I asked, smiling a little.

‘Because I'm happy to see you've worked out how you feel about me, even if you don't quite have the words for it yet.’ He said and sighed. ‘Angelina, I want to say something that I feel like maybe one day you could say back, but like I said before, you're still growing into yourself and I don't want to disturb that in any way.’ 

‘I'm still struggling to understand how I feel, but I know I don't want to be away from you while I figure it out.’ I smiled a little realising something. ‘I crave you as well.’ I felt my cheeks flush red and I wanted to hide away, embarrassed about admitting that.

Remus just smiled and scooted a little closer and kissed me gently. ‘I'm glad you feel like that.’ He whispered in his husky heavy voice. Remus didn't move too far away from my lips and let them drift over them softly, his hand moved to gently stroke my cheek, while he added just a little more pressure. I felt myself letting out a small moan as he sent small rushes of excitement through me and it made Remus stop, placing one more kiss on my lips, before pulling away and watching me. ‘You worked out where we are. I promised we could do anything you wanted tonight, but I'd like to make a suggestion.’ I frowned and watched Remus swallow thickly. ‘I'd like to take you close to the forest tonight, I'm not sure what we’ll see, but I've been told it's worth the trip over. If that's something you wanted to do?’

I smiled and nodded. ‘Absolutely.’ I said and Remus kissed me again, but this time it was much more intense and urgent. 

‘Good.’ Remus breathed. ‘We can leave once the sun has gone down. It's the best time to see some of the creatures coming out.’ He said. ‘In the meantime, you said in your letter that you were thinking of going to Greece to see the Chimeras?’

I could feel my face lighting up at the prospect and for the half an hour or so before the sun went down properly, we discussed Greece, Tibet and Romania. I also wanted to make the trip to South America at some point to see the wild creatures there.

‘Well, you've got all the time in the world to do those things.’ Remus said putting his scarf on. It was time for us to leave and I was getting excited. I wrapped my scarf around my neck a little loosely and picked up my long, black, coat. ‘You should go to Ireland at some point as well, maybe the north of Scotland. There are lots of werewolf packs living in those areas and I've heard some of them look after particular patches of land that is kept secure by the ministry. Similar to the Forest of Dean and the Thestral sanctuary. Might be worth investing a little time?’ Remus guided me out of the door where the drop in temperature was noticeable. I quickly wrapped my scarf tighter and zipped up my coat. ‘Cold?’ He chuckled locking the door behind us, I just scowled at him a little. 

The night was crisp and clear, not a cloud in the sheet of black sky and the walk to the edge of the forest was stunning. I could see patches of star grass growing just off the side of the mountain and the further towards the forest we got the more creatures were coming out for the night. 

Remus and I spent the longest time just wandering around and watching the nocturnal beasts coming out, we even saw a couple of wild Abraxans higher up the mountain and I desperately wanted to get a closer look at some point. We watched a patch of trees that inhabited Horklumps which were especially calm, Remus told me all about what they like to eat and where they could be found. We could also see a couple of trolls wandering around much further into the forest as well as a few unicorns. 

‘Angelina, look.’ Remus said quietly. I looked up from a patch of pink mushrooms to see that a couple of the unicorns had ventured out of the forest and we're looking towards the sky, they were so much closer than unicorns usually got to humans. I stepped closer to Remus who slipped his arm around my waist and looked up at the stunning sky. It was as if green light had begun pouring from a crack that had formed in the black sheet of sky. ‘The Northern Lights or as it's often known the Aurora Borealis. Some creatures respond in different ways to it. It emits a form of magic that no one quite understands, but what we do know is that it has minor effects on behaviour, mostly calming the behaviour of some creatures.’

‘It's beautiful.’ I breathed and could not take my eyes off of the sky, that was until I heard something like a rattling. My heart sank and I immediately checked my watch. It was the moon watch it was spinning out of control, I looked up at Remus who didn't seem to be aware of anything. ‘Remus.’ I said gently. He looked down at me and his face dropped seeing my expression. I showed him the watch which had calmed down slightly. ‘Any ideas what it could have been?’ I asked, seeing that it was barely shaking anymore.

Remus shook his head. ‘The full moon won't occur for another few days here.’ He said. ‘Though maybe watching the lights from the safety of the cabin isn't such a bad idea.’ He gave me a small smile, but there was something off about him, his eyes were a little harsh. 

‘Okay.’ I nodded and carefully we walked around the unicorns and back to the cabin, careful not to disturb them. 

Remus opened the door and we headed upstairs to watch from the large window. I flicked my wand towards the fireplace and the room was a lot warmer. I could hear Remus taking his cloak off and throwing it over the chair, for a moment we just watched the beautiful sky. I felt Remus slip his warm hands around my waist, kissing my neck gently and I sighed into his chest. That was when the watch began shaking violently and we both stopped to watch it calm down. I looked up at Remus who suddenly looked very worried.

‘It’s me.’ He whispered and stood back, I could see his harsh eyes going from green back to blue. Remus took a few deep breaths and sat down on the edge of the bed. I took a step closer to Remus, but he put his hand up to stop me. ‘Don’t come any closer.’ He said, I stopped, but something told me it was okay.

‘Remus.’ I said quietly. ‘What’s happening?’ I wanted to sit next to him, to hold him and tell him everything would be okay.

He shook his head and kept his hands still on his knees. ‘I don’t know.’ I could hear something angry and controlled about his answer. ‘Angelina, I want you to change, I don’t trust myself right now.’ He said, but something was telling me that it wasn’t the solution. I stayed still and didn’t do anything. ‘Angelina.’ He said again.

A thought occurred to me. ‘You said the lights have effects on some creatures, maybe werewolves respond to it as well?’

Remus half laughed. ‘That’s what I’m afraid of.’ He said and sighed. ‘I’m sorry.’

I took another step towards him, but Remus just stood up and didn’t let me get any closer. ‘Remus.’ I said, trying to make him see reason. ‘You said the effects were calming.’

‘For some creatures.’ He warned. ‘Things like Horklumps which are hardly deadly.’

‘What about the unicorns?’ I felt myself getting a little angry. ‘They can be deadly and I'm willing to bet we could have walked right up to them if we wanted… Tell me what's going on? Please, I’m trying to understand.’

‘Unicorns don’t kill humans!’ Remus shouted.

‘Neither do you!’ I shouted back.

‘Angelina, I cannot risk your safety.’ He took a much more firm tone, but made no effort to let me get any closer. ‘You’ve seen what I turn into and that was in a controlled environment behind a locked door. I would have expected you to have at least learnt something from that experience with Clara, as well as the events in Bulgaria.’

I took a breath, knowing that he wasn't going to see reason with shouting. ‘You can’t change without the full moon, you just can’t. So, what’s the worst possible thing that could happen?’

‘Angelina-‘

‘The worst possible thing that could happen if you stand within two feet of me. Tell me what could happen.’ I demanded.

Remus sighed and put his hands on his hips. ‘I could lose control and become violent.’ He said, with the strained voice I wasn’t as used to.

‘And if that happens, the worst thing I could end up with is a scar and that’s it.’

‘Physically yes!’ Remus said, exasperated and I just frowned. ‘Angelina, do you not understand that we have built up a trust, and that being what I am and taking risks could ruin everything and I could lose you? Do you not understand how important you are to me?’

I just watched him, still not sure what it was he was saying. Remus sighed again and began pacing, running his hands through his hair. I took another breath and turned around to watch the lights shining in through the window. I tried to figure out what Remus had been saying, physically I would have a scar, the worst comes and all I end up with is a scar. I had been through worse, in the maze I had been through worse, the things that the Mist said to me were what filled my nightmares and Remus should have known. There was a lot that he should have known and it suddenly dawned on me that there was probably a lot of things I didn’t know about him.

‘I just want you to be safe.’ Remus had come closer, I could hear him breathing and it gave me some comfort. ‘I can’t lose you.’

‘I know.’ I said and turned away from the shining sky. ‘I can’t lose you either… But you have to trust me more.’

Remus smiled softly. ‘Sometimes, I feel you need to trust me less.’ It pulled a smile from me. ‘I guess, we’re still finding our balance.’ He said and I frowned a little. ‘Relationships are built on trust and a balance is formed that both individuals can live with. It can take work and time for that balance to settle, but given time and patience it always does… But I’m sorry, I cannot let myself hurt you in any way. I already told you that I feel a protectiveness towards you, I always need you to be safe, especially when I’m around to make sure that happens.’

I watched Remus for a moment. He was still further away from me than I would have liked him to be, but at least he wasn’t on the other side of the room. ‘Tell me what’s going on. What was happening to make the watch react to you?’

Remus half laughed. ‘I don’t know. All I know is that I was thinking about being with you.’

I smiled at him. ‘What about when we were at the forest?’

He took a breath and tried to remember. ‘I’m not sure, but I would imagine it was something similar.’

‘You kissed me.’ I said remembering what we were doing. ‘I think you should do it again.’ I picked up my wand. ‘I know you’ll probably say no, but if I need to I’ve got my wand… I think we should see what happens.’

Remus made up his mind, I gave a small smile and sighed. ‘Okay… I’ll trust you in your judgment. But don’t hesitate, not for a second.’

‘I won’t.’ I promised.

Remus looked a little nervous, he took a few steps towards me and I could hear the faint rattling of the watch on my wrist. We both glanced down towards it and I adjusted my grip on my wand. Remus swallowed gently and slid his hands around my waist, he was much warmer than he had been beforehand. I could see his eyes fading from blue to the harsh green that I recognised from when I was eleven. But soon, his lips were softly pressed to mine, I could feel him restraining himself, but not for a second could I feel him losing any control. His tongue swiped across my bottom lip and I let out a small moan as his tongue delved into my mouth, mapping out the inside and soon his hands were roaming underneath my vest.

I felt him groan hungrily into my mouth and pull me closer to his body. Remus began slowing down again and I really didn’t want to stop, but I wasn’t about to push him any further. He just watched me for a moment, checking I was okay and I was doing the same to him.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked and Remus laughed, nodding.

‘Yes, yes, perfectly fine… A little frustrated, but fine.’ There was something very dark about his eyes and I could see him wanting to take things further, truthfully it was a little exciting. ‘You need to stop looking at me like that.’ He chuckled and I couldn’t help but smile up at him.

‘I like when I look at you like this. Good things happen.’ I said. ‘Do you think you could kiss me again?’ I asked and he smiled, taking a deep breath.

‘I think I could manage it.’ There was something a little husky about his voice and I was loving it. There was no time to think, Remus pressed and intense kiss to me and I felt him pushing me back slightly towards the large window, his tongue delving into my mouth once again and I was suddenly reminded of the morning after Clara’s transformation when he had done the same thing. He wasn’t in control then and I began to worry a little. 

‘Remus.’ I moaned as he began attacking my neck with hot kisses. I felt him scraping his teeth over the skin, before stopping altogether and walking away. I slid down the length of the window and watched Remus catching his breath, I couldn't quite see his face, but I could see he was angry with himself. 

 

Remus paced, he hated himself he desperately wanted to leave the cabin and never come back, but he couldn’t do that to Angelina. He couldn’t do anything to Angelina, not even kiss her without wanting to take things so much further.

‘Remus.’ She said quietly. He looked up to see her sitting on the floor, not quite knowing what to do.

‘I need a moment.’ He said and wandered into the bathroom. Remus ran the cold tap and tried to cool down a little. He held his hands under the water and took a few deep breaths. She had felt so good against him, better than she had ever felt before and for the first time in his life, he felt the heavy weight of his condition. He felt addiction, it wasn’t just that he craved Angelina anymore, he was fully addicted to her, to the way she felt, the way she sounded and everything else she was. He needed her. 

Remus watched the water for a moment, he mentally debated with himself for a while, did he go back and give in to temptation or stop everything altogether and just enjoy the time he had with her without doing anything physical. He didn’t want anything in return, not really, he just wanted to hear her saying his name while he made love to her, that was all he wanted. That was all he ever craved, but he knew it wasn't really him, it was never really him and he couldn’t risk anything where she was concerned. 

He took a breath and looked in the mirror, he could see his scars were a little clearer, as they always were on the day of the transformation, his eyes were a little more bloodshot and he looked a little tired, but he felt so different. He didn’t feel like he was about to change, he didn’t feel irritable or even jealous, he was a little more protective, but that was just default. It was strange and he couldn’t quite understand it, but there was a calm inside him that he hadn’t ever felt before, usually he would feel annoyed and his patience would be shorter with people, but instead he wanted to take all the time in the world with Angelina, his patience was stretched further than before.

Remus sighed and dried his hands that were already warm again and wandered back into the bedroom where he found Angelina sitting on the floor with a book open, it looked like she was reading very fast. He came and sat next to her, watching the lights and gave her a gentle smile.

‘Are you alright?’ He asked.

‘There are no werewolves in Iceland.’ She said, a small frown formed. 

‘I’m sorry?’ He asked.

‘Iceland, it's the only place in the world where there are no known cases of werewolf attacks.’ She explained. ‘Look, that’s what it says.’ She handed him the book and he read the same passage that she had just read. ‘It must be the lights.’ She said and Remus looked up to see her watching them intently. ‘You said the lights emit a form of magic that we don’t understand yet. Maybe that’s what was happening to you. You were soaking up the magic that was pouring out?’

Remus rubbed his chin and thought for a moment. The theory was sound, it made sense that if some beasts felt naturally calmer around the lights then maybe that was what he was feeling. ‘Possibly.’

‘I wonder what kind of magic it lets out.’ She mused, still staring up at the lights. Remus just watched her in wonder for a moment. He had grazed his teeth along her skin after telling her that he could potentially hurt her and the one thing she was concerned about was the kind of magic that the lights emitted. ‘What?’ She frowned at him.

He shook his head, half laughing. ‘Nothing, I just… I need to stop thinking you’re anything less than extraordinary.’ He laughed, it made her smile and he thought that there was nothing more beautiful. The watch began to rattle again and she laughed a little, while he felt his cheeks light up pink. ‘Sorry.’ He said bashfully.

‘It’s okay, it's a nice insight into how often you think about me.’ She winked and Remus felt so much calmer about everything. ‘You can’t change without the full moon, so whatever was happening was something different. It would be interesting to see what would happen if you did change though. It would probably be similar to the Wolfsbane potion, though I don’t know what effects it would have if anything human was around… I was just thinking it would be interesting.’

‘I know.’ He nodded in understanding and handed her the book back. ‘I feel very calm right now, like I have all the patience in the world.’

‘Isn’t that a good thing?’ She asked.

Remus bobbed his head side to side for a moment. ‘It is. I don’t feel irritable or annoyed at anything like I usually do, I feel a little more energised if anything.’

She nodded and watched him. ‘Your eyes look different.’ She said. ‘They’re a different colour from normal, and you look tired.’

Remus looked away back towards the lights, he was uncomfortable with her seeing anything about the wolf in him, he hated what he was and she was the only thing that made him feel human. He sighed and tried not to think about being with her, about the way she made him feel or anything that would make her notice anything monstrous about him. She placed her hand on his knee and he felt small rushes shoot through him, he sighed into her touch and listened to the watch rattling away. He couldn’t take listening to it, but it was keeping him in check and making sure he didn’t give in to temptation.

They watched the lights for a while longer and soon Angelina let her head rest on his shoulder, she smelt so good and Remus desperately wanted to kiss her, but he was getting tired as well and trusted himself less than before.

 

I felt Remus moving slightly and he helped me up off of the floor. I woke up a little as he placed me down onto the bed and saw him smiling at me as he began taking his shirt off. I couldn’t find the energy to get up to find my sleeping shorts, so I just stripped my jeans off and did the same with my bra, letting them fall next to the bed as I settled down underneath the sheets.

Remus laid down behind me and muttered something quietly as the fire died down a little. He kissed along my shoulder and made his way up my neck. I let out a small hum of approval and felt Remus push his hips against me and he ran his hands under my vest, pulling me back into him, before stopping and taking a breath. ‘Goodnight Angelina.’ He whispered and his voice was so husky, it sent a small amount of frantic energy to sit in the pit of my stomach, before it settled again and I felt myself drifting off to sleep.


	18. When In Dreams...

That night, for whatever reason, I had no nightmares, just dreams, gloriously sweet dreams. I dreamt of Remus and I watching the northern lights and dancing to rubbish music on the radio, I dreamt we kissed well into the night and he didn’t need to control himself, his voice sent shivers through me and told me all the things he wanted to do with me.

I woke up, feeling my heart racing. I turned on my back and felt the warm patch of bed next to me, where Remus should have been, but he wasn’t. The bed was still warm so he was nearby, I could hear the radio being turned on downstairs and I felt a small hint of relief that he hadn’t left entirely. I took a moment to wake up and looked outside at the breathtaking view of Reykjavik, I stood up and wandered closer to the window, just watching the Abraxans flying around above us and hoping I would get the chance to see one up close.

I heard Remus coming back up the stairs and turned to see him raking his hand through his hair. He was in just his t shirt and underwear and truthfully looked very handsome. ‘Morning.’ He said with a cheeky glint in his eye. He wandered over to me and placed a very intense kiss to my lips, his hands slid around my waist and he pulled me closer to his body. I moaned into his mouth and felt him respond in kind.

I half laughed against him and Remus slowly stopped to look at me. ‘Feeling better?’ I asked.

‘Much.’ He said and I could see his bright blue eyes darken, but there was nothing harsh about him. He placed one more kiss against me, before frowning. ‘Out of curiosity, what were you dreaming about last night?’ He asked and I gave him a questioning look. ‘You were…’ He cleared his throat and smiled. ‘Moving around a little.’ 

‘Erm… I was dreaming about us.’ I said, still frowning at him. ‘What do you mean I was moving around?’

Remus cleared his throat again, his hands stilled on my waist as he thought about what he was going to say. ‘Let me just say that it is entirely normal and it really is okay, so you don’t need to be embarrassed or panic at all.’ I felt a small whip of panic at that, but let him continue. ‘You were… Touching yourself in your sleep.’ I felt myself take half a step back and go a furious shade of beetroot. ‘Angelina, it’s really okay. So many people do it when they dream about things they enjoy.’

I believed him, I really did, but it was more a shock that I would do something so unlike myself in my sleep. It almost seemed worse than a nightmare. ‘Oh.’ Was all I could say and it made him smile a little. ‘I think I’m going to take a shower.’ I said, not really sure what it was I was supposed to do.

‘Okay.’ Remus nodded and I wandered towards the bathroom. ‘If you…’ Remus said, I stopped at the door and watched him. ‘I just mean, I wouldn’t say no if you wanted company.’ He finished and I could see him going a little red.

I smiled, feeling a little better about myself. I went into the bathroom and turned the shower on, before going back out to see Remus looking a little disappointed, wandering back towards the stairs. He stopped before he got to the top and I took a breath. I stripped off my vest and underwear and threw them on the floor, Remus’s jaw dropped as he stared at every part of my body, it made me feel a little self conscious, until he took his own t shirt off and walked towards me.

Remus groaned into my mouth and I felt so much more confident in myself. Remus spun me around and began his attack on my neck, I could feel his teeth grazing against my sensitive skin and I stilled. ‘It’s okay.’ He whispered and breathed heavily against. ‘It’s me, I promise it’s me. I want you.’ He waited until I let my breath go, before continuing, he was a little gentler but no less passionate. 

Soon we were in the shower together and Remus was once again placing gentle kisses over my neck, my shoulder and every part of my sensitive skin he could reach. His hands drifted over my breasts and I felt myself lean further up into him, just needing more of his touch, I felt like it had been too long since I last had him close to me. He moaned into my neck as his hands began venturing a little further down towards my hips.

I briefly panicked as he drifted closer to my centre and he felt it. ‘Maybe not quite yet.’ He said, smiling a little. I half laughed and turned around to face him, I felt desperate to trace his scars again, just to feel his skin beneath my hands and make him smile again. ‘What are you thinking?’ He asked, with a small frown.

‘I… I want to… Touch you… I mean…’ I was getting my words tangled, but it seemed Remus didn’t mind and knew what it was I was trying to say anyway. He gave a small chuckle and kissed me once again.

‘I’d love that.’ He whispered. ‘Any time you like.’

‘How about now?’ I felt a small surge of bravery flood through me, even though I knew my cheeks were bright red. Remus gave a small frown, but still smiled, wondering what I had planned. I picked up a small amount of liquid soap and rubbed it into my hand a little, before he caught on to what I was doing. 

Remus took a deep breath, he looked a little self conscious, the way he did the first time we were together in my bedroom. I didn’t quite understand why though, but I went slow, first running my hands all over his body, feeling the muscles tense and relax in different places, then tracing over every scar I could see and committing them to memory. I made my way to his hips and ran my fingers over the bone, I was too afraid to touch anywhere else and looked up to see his eyes were closed and he was simply feeling me wash his body.

‘Angelina.’ He breathed, it was so quiet, there was every possibility that he had said it more than once while I was examining him and never heard it before then. Remus eventually opened his eyes and smiled down at me. ‘That was…’ Remus looked genuinely at a loss for words and I gave him a small chuckle, hoping that I made him feel good for a while. He kissed me gently and held me close to his body. ‘Thank you.’ He breathed against my lips. We stayed like that for just a few minutes more, kissing each other gently and simply being close to each other, before I needed to actually take a shower properly.

Remus just laughed and washed off the excess soap before stepping out to give me a little space. I took my time, running my hands through my hair and thinking about what I had dreamt about the night before. I didn’t remember much about the dream I’d had about Remus, but I remembered thinking back to when we had first been together and the things his mouth had done to me, I was getting warm again. I sighed and soon got out of the shower, drying my hair as I wrapped the towel around myself. I went to find fresh clothes and saw Remus looking out at the city like I had done that morning. He sipped his tea and turned to smile at me, he had gotten dressed and I felt a small twinge of disappointment. 

I sat on the edge of the bed and began getting dressed, aware that Remus was still watching me. ‘I have a question.’ I said and he nodded smiling.

‘I can see that.’ He sat down as well, sipping his tea still and handing me my bra that I rolled my eyes and took from him. I slipped my jeans on and found a fresh vest to put on. ‘Is it about last night?’

I chuckled a little, putting my bra and vest on. A lot of things happened the night before and I wasn’t sure which bit he was referring to specifically. ‘Yeah, it's more about me… This morning.’ I cringed a little and felt my face light up again.

Remus sighed and nodded, he stood up to place his tea cup on the table in front of the small fire and sat back down in front of me. ‘You don’t need to be worried about it.’ He assured me. ‘It happens to us all from time to time, when we’re enjoying our lives and the people in it… If it makes you feel any better, I rather enjoyed it.’ There was something very dark sitting just behind his eyes.

‘Really?’ I frowned.

‘Absolutely.’ His voice had gone a little heavy and I sucked in a small breath that I was certain he noticed. ‘You asked me to be crystal clear in my intentions, so I will be right now… If you had been awake and felt comfortable, I would very much have enjoyed helping you.’ I could see his cheeks turning pink and I smiled, knowing I was red, but not caring.

‘How… I mean, how exactly would you have helped?’ I teased and tried to be brave again.

Remus smiled. ‘Come here.’ He said gently and I took a step towards him, he gently guided me so that I was straddling him and wrapped his arms around me. He placed small, tender kisses to my shoulder, while he held me and for the longest time, I felt safe. ‘Will you tell me what you were dreaming about? You can say no, but what I will say is that if you tell me, I’d be more than happy to do it for you tonight.’ His voice was heavy and husky again and I could feel myself getting warm again.

‘Why?’ I asked.

Remus pulled back a little and just stared at me. ‘Because I want to.’ He said simply. ‘I want to give you everything you want and this is something I know I can give.’ He brushed a little of my hair out of the way and smiled. ‘Will you tell me?’

I thought for a moment, before deciding that he seemed to want it a lot more than I did. I had a brief flicker of worry, before seeing that sincerity that I had seen before. ‘I dreamt about the first time… With us. I dreamt that you…’ I cleared my throat a little and watched him smile, encouraging me to continue. ‘I don’t know what the right way of putting it is… You were using your mouth.’ Remus sucked in a harsh breath and placed a hot kiss on my lips.

‘You dreamt that I went down on you.’ He clarified and I felt my face light up once again. ‘I’d be more than happy to do that again for you.’ He said and kissed me again, his hands holding me against his body and I was loving the intensity. Remus slowed down a little and took a breath. ‘I want to take you into the city today. I think you’ll enjoy it.’ He said and watched me. I nodded and eventually managed to pull myself away from him long enough to have a cup of tea before we left.

We rode on the Abraxans themselves and it was a stunning flight down into the city. They were beautiful creatures and so friendly that they even bent a little for me to hop off. We wandered off towards a small café to grab a late breakfast and Remus told me about the city itself, about how it came to be and about how Iceland as a country operates. He took me around the city, though it was more a case of us wandering around aimlessly, looking at the architecture and trying to blend in with the muggle community. 

I wrapped my long coat tighter around my body and Remus kept me close, knowing that it took me a while to warm up. The whole place had a calming presence about it, like no one had anywhere better to be than wandering around the city, just watching everyone else go about their day. It was nice and it made me feel at home. 

The day went on and Remus suggested we go back to the wizarding site to get some dinner and talk a little more about what the future might’ve held for the both of us. We settled at a warm cosy restaurant close to the Abraxan pen.

‘I just want you to be aware that spending so much time apart from each other will take its toll.’ Remus said, he was stroking the back of my hand and watching me for my reaction. We had been discussing what our options were when we returned to England and it looked like between his teaching role at the school and my desire to travel to various parts of the world, finding time to spend together would be difficult and sparse to say the least. ‘We’ll have to work out some kind of plan, I can’t take time off whenever I like at the school, weekends will mostly be the only time I can get away, but I’m not sure if I will be able to keep it up when Harry starts.’

‘We can make it work.’ I assured him. ‘I’m sure I’ll come back to the school for one reason or another.’ I smiled and watched him sip his butterbeer thoughtfully. ‘There’s always the summer as well.’

Remus smiled. ‘That’s true. Have you thought about getting your own place?’ He asked. Truthfully I hadn’t. I hadn’t been at home long enough to think about it and I knew I’d be leaving for either Greece or Romania in the new year, so I wouldn’t have much time to settle. ‘I thought as much.’ Remus chuckled at my explanation. ‘Don’t suppose it would get much use.’

‘Probably not.’ I drank the last remaining sip of my butterbeer and Remus did the same.

‘One more before we leave?’ He asked and I nodded half laughing. Remus got the attention of the waitress who had been serving us all night and ordered a couple of Firewhiskeys. I could see Remus suddenly remembering something and I gave him a quizzical look. ‘I just remembered you said you wanted to discuss something in your letter. Something about the minister?’

‘Oh yeah,’ I said, suddenly remembering my meeting. ‘It was before we were talking about the reclassification, he said that he thinks the ministry's attention is being distracted from the real problem at hand, that Dumbledore wants him to pay attention to it.’

‘The real problem?’ Remus frowned.

‘Not sure, he doesn't seem to know what it is either.’ I shook my head as the Firewhiskeys were placed down in front of us. ‘But he wants me to listen out for anything unusual happening that the ministry might not be aware of. Just when I'm travelling around… Any ideas what he's talking about?’

Remus had an odd look, like he was thinking a million different things all at once. ‘Angelina, you're under no obligation to do anything for the minister that could involve risking your life, you understand that don't you?’

‘Yeah of course, but that's not what he was asking, he's just asking for me to keep an ear to the ground.’ I frowned. ‘Isn't he?’

Remus sighed. ‘Maybe he is. I’d be a little wary if I were you though, if the minister is asking you for anything, it must mean he's growing desperate and often desperation leads to panic. There's a growing number of disappearances occurring since the summer before the Triwizard Tournament, mostly it's just convicts that have escaped and possibly fled the country, but should they turn up again… It could be dangerous for all involved, just promise me you’ll do your utmost to stay safe, especially while you’re travelling alone.’

‘Of course I will. But surely convicts leaving the country happens all the time?’ I frowned.

‘It does, but I think the real concern lies in the type of convict, rather than the amount.’ Remus said and hoped I could see he was trying to get me catch on to what he was saying.

‘Like Karkaroff?’ I asked, realising he meant Death Eaters. Remus nodded and I suddenly realised what he was talking about. 

‘You see why I’m asking you to be extra careful when it comes to the minister.’ He said and I nodded, sipping a little more of my Firewhiskey.

‘You seem very calm.’ I noticed, raising my eyebrow a little and Remus smiled softly.

‘I feel very calm right now.’ He said. ‘I’m in a good place.’ I watched him for a moment and his eyes were the soft blue that they usually were and I relaxed under his gaze. ‘You ready to go?’ He asked and I finished the last small mouthful of my drink before nodding and letting him guide me up and walk me to the door. 

The air outside was much colder than it had been when we first sat down and I wrapped my coat tighter to my body. Remus slipped his warm hand around my waist and I could feel the heat through my clothes. We rode the Abraxans back to the cabin and I could see Remus had a strange look about him, I looked at the sky to see the green light streaming through the black sheet of sky while he got the door open.

Remus waved his wand towards the fire and the cabin felt immediately warmer. I took my coat off and let it lay over the back of the comfy sofa, I had just taken my scarf off as well when Remus slid his hands straight underneath my t shirt while his lips softly kissed my neck and shoulder.

‘Remus.’ I moaned into him and I could feel he wanted to do more than just kiss me. 

‘Let me take you to bed?’ He whispered in that husky voice that got me every time, I couldn’t quite find my own voice so just nodded against him and immediately Remus spun me around to face him. I could see that his eyes were still blue and I knew this was him, this was him wanting to take me to bed. He pressed his lips to mine and moaned deeply into me, before I knew it, he had slipped his hands under my legs and picked me up so that my legs wrapped around his waist. 

We went upstairs, softly kissing each other and my excitement levels rising a little. Remus laid me down on the bed and began touching every part of my body he could reach and kissing every part of my neck and chest, he groaned into my chest, letting his tongue dart out and trace circles around my nipples. His hands slid up and down my sides, sending shivers up and down my body, but his hands were still warm and I was enjoying the things he was doing with them.

I desperately wanted to feel his skin against mine, but before I could make my intentions clear, he began unbuttoning my jeans, I took a breath and he slowed a little, making sure I was okay. He looked up at me and had a look that said I was going to really enjoy what was about to happen.

‘Angelina.’ He groaned against my skin just above my underwear. He slipped my jeans straight off and kissed over my hip bones, scraping his teeth over the sensitive skin and slowing when it became a bit much. I looked down to see that he had taken his shirt off and began pushing my legs apart, before running his tongue over my centre lightly.

I let my back arch and moaned out with pleasure, Remus groaned again and his movements had more weight to them, like he wanted me to explode there and then. He ran his tongue in circles around my sensitive nerves as his hands massaged my thighs and I had never felt this way before, this….wanted. He soon got his wish as I couldn’t stop myself any longer.

‘Remus.’ I sighed and he let me recover for just a moment, before kissing my chest again and slipping my t shirt off with my bra so that I was entirely naked in front of him. Remus ran his tongue over my breasts and scraped his teeth over the sensitive skin on my stomach and chest.

He didn’t stop for long and before I knew it, he was making me explode all over again with his tongue. I heard him groaning again and opened my eyes to see him leaning up to kiss my passionately. Remus whispered my name against my lips and I felt him move a little so that he was positioned above me, ready to enter, only this time, he didn’t wait for me to say it was okay, he just gave me a darkened look and slowly slid himself inside.

I watched his eyes close for a moment, just feeling me around him. He took a few controlled breaths and leaned down to kiss me again, before moving slowly at first and then not being able to stop himself from going faster.

‘Angelina.’ He moaned and Remus’s entire body shook for a moment. We stayed wrapped in each other’s embrace for a few moments longer, before Remus began to move, removing himself from me.

I caught my breath back finally and watched Remus stand up, wandering towards the bathroom. I heard the tap going in the sink, but he soon reappeared with a soft smile on his face. ‘Are you okay?’ He asked, leaning down to kiss me again.

‘Are you?’ I shot back.

I saw something happen behind his eyes and Remus shook his head. ‘No, no I’m not okay. I’m sorry if I hurt you at all.’ Remus frowned and I didn’t quite know what he was talking about.

‘You didn’t hurt me. Not even a little bit. It felt very good.’ I felt my face blush furiously.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Certain.’

Remus let out a breath and kissed me again. ‘I lost control, I’m sorry, I should have stopped as soon as I did and told you what was happening. I didn’t mean to, you just felt very good.’ He admitted.

‘I’m okay.’ I smiled and brought my hands up to run along his jaw and kissed him softly. ‘I promise.’

Remus watched me for a moment with his soft blue eyes and nodded. ‘Come with me?’ He asked and I frowned, but he just laughed a little and helped me up off the bed. He grabbed the quilt, threw me a couple of pillows and led me to just in front of the fire. Remus laid the pillows out at one end of the soft rug and motioned for me to lay down next to him as he brought the quilt up to cover us both. ‘I’ve been thinking about this since we got here.’ He whispered. Remus began running his hands through my hair and kissed just below my ear, as I began to fall asleep with the heat of the fire and the warmth of his body cocooning me into a deep sleep.

 

Remus stayed awake long after Angelina fell asleep, he couldn't quite believe what he had done. He honestly thought he was going too far when they made love, but once again, she was braver than he was giving her credit for, she had even enjoyed it. Part of him hoped she would dream of him again, but he knew that wasn't quite him talking. 

He loved her that was certain, but he worried about what was happening to him the longer he stayed in Reykjavik. There was no concern or worry where there should have been, he should have been more angry at the fact the minister had asked her for help without taking into account her safety, but he wasn't. Remus wondered if maybe that was the way to approach their relationship, to allow her all the room in the world to go out and get hurt and for him to simply be the one she returned to for advice and comfort.

It was a conversation he was having with himself well into the night as he watched the northern lights drifting through the sky outside. It was truly breathtaking and Remus wanted to watch it forever, but he knew it wasn't him who wanted to watch it forever, it was the wolf inside of him that enjoyed the calm. 

Remus hadn't want to admit it before, but he was curious as well about what would happen once he transformed. He thought about asking Clara to make a trip back and possibly finding out, but it was tough to say whether that was really him talking. He knew that Angelina would probably have wanted to find out as well and for a while he didn't think there would be any harm in it, as long as she stayed her animagus form.

He eventually fell asleep, curling himself around her and letting himself soak up everything about her, her smell, the way she sounded when she slept, the way she felt in his hands and he hoped his dreams would be about her.


	19. The Wolf In Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is where I've gotten up to in writing the series, so I'm afraid updates will be much slower than they have been. Hope you're enjoying the series and continue to stick with it :)

I woke the next day with the smell of coffee filling my nostrils and I turned onto my back to find I was quite alone. I could hear music floating through the cabin and let my eyes close again, just absorbing the sound around me. 

‘Good morning.’ I heard Remus say as he settled down next to me. I opened my eyes to see him pulling the blanket up a little and leaning on his elbow next to me. He smiled softly with his blue eyes and I could feel myself relaxing. He looked tired though, like he hadn't slept well or even at all.

‘Morning.’ I mumbled back. Remus gave a small chuckle and moved some of the stray hairs away from my face. I could see him looking at every part of my face, before he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips.

‘You hungry?’ He asked, smiling a little. I nodded watching his face carefully. ‘Come downstairs then.’ He said and kissed me once more before getting up and putting his t shirt on along with his trousers. 

I took a little time in getting up, loving the feel of being close to the fire and wrapped under a blanket. I just put my jeans and t shirt back on along with my jumper and headed downstairs to find Remus sipping his coffee and reading out of my book. He smiled when he saw me and put the book down erasing whatever it was he had been reading and striding over to me to press a soft kiss to my lips.

I just laughed and we sat down to have breakfast with each other. He was actually quite a good cook and he seemed fairly proud of that fact. We talked a little about what he was going to be teaching when he got back to the school and a little about what my plans were, which were vague to say the least.

‘I guess I need to figure out where I'm going next.’ I chuckled, finishing my coffee. ‘I think I'll ask Jocelyne and Benji what they think tomorrow night, but I'm kind of drawn to Greece just now, so we’ll see.’

‘If you go to Greece, make sure you visit the library of Alexandria.’ Remus said, clearing the table of our dishes and setting them to wash themselves. ‘The muggles all go there when they visit Athens, might be worth a trip.’ He said shrugging.

‘I might just do that.’ I nodded. I watched him move around the kitchen for a moment and took in just how tired he looked. ‘Did you get much sleep last night?’ I asked, looking away before I could make eye contact.

It was a little while before he answered and he only did when I looked up at him. He smiled softly. ‘Not as much as I'd like.’ Was all he said as he leaned against the counter. 

‘Is there something bothering you?’ 

‘I'm not sure.’ Remus shook his head. ‘I still feel very calm right now and whenever I feel calm, I feel suspicious.’ He chuckled and I understood what he was saying, it was to do with trusting himself, especially around me.

‘I like it when you're calm.’ I said. ‘It makes you happy and I like that.’ 

Remus just watched me for a moment and smiled. ‘You fancy taking a shower with me?’ He asked and had that cheeky glint. I just laughed and nodded.

We spent most of the day just being with each other, we made love again and this time it was slow and concentrated. Remus had sat on the bed and taught me how to take him inside me that way, something he seemed to enjoy very much. But soon it was approaching the evening and it was time to leave Reykjavik.

‘I think I'm going to come back.’ I said as I was packing everything away into my bag. Remus gave a small frown. ‘Here I mean, I think I'll come back to Reykjavik at some point. It's nice here.’ I clarified and Remus nodded.

‘It is. And lots of creatures for you to research.’ He smiled and waved his wand at the bed, making it again. He put his jacket on and we were ready to go back home. We stepped back into the carriage and Remus wrapped his arm around me, I savoured the last few minutes I had with him, knowing it was unlikely he’d make it to Jocelyne and Benji's the next day.

We landed finally and stepped out of the carriage, heading for the apparation site. Like there had been on the day we got there, witches and wizards were rushing around trying to get places. Remus held my hand and we stood ready to go, he kissed me again and smiled down at me.

‘I'll take you home, but after that I will need to get back to the school, I have a feeling there will be a stack of things to do before tomorrow.’ Remus said, he had a hint of sadness about him and I was aware that it could be another month until we saw each other again.

I smiled a little sadly at him and nodded. ‘Let me know when you're free again?’

‘Of course.’ He nodded. ‘You ready?’

Before I could respond, I felt the cold rain pouring down in my parents back garden, we quickly rushed inside where it was much warmer, to find my parents making dinner.

‘Angie! Remus!’ My father called and came over to see us both. ‘Raining you know.’ He said snidely.

I just rolled my eyes at him.

‘I best get going.’ Remus said and when I turned to look at him he had a strange look about him, like all energy had been taken from him and like all the worry I hadn't seen over the weekend came flooding back.

‘Are you alright?’ I asked quietly. He smiled and shook his head.

‘I'll talk to you soon, but right now I need to leave.’ He said.

‘Are you sure you don't want to stay at least until the rain stops?’ My father asked and I could see a glint of green in Remus’s eyes.

‘No, he needs to get back to the castle.’ I said, definitively and helped Remus back out into the rain. ‘Write when you can.’ I told him and Remus nodded, smiling softly.

‘I will, I promise.’ He said and placed a soft kiss to my lips. Once again he had a look that told me he wanted to say something, but didn't.

‘Thank you for everything.’ I said quietly.

‘I'll see you again soon, I hope.’ Remus turned away and walked a little way up the path before apparating back to the castle.

‘Angie, come inside and get warmed up.’ My father called and I quickly jogged back inside the house.

 

Remus staggered back up the path towards the gates. The rain was freezing cold and he would need to see Poppy before heading back to his quarters. He felt tired and worn down, like he used to feel around this time of the month, but this was different, his energy was high and his heart was racing.

‘Remus!’ Poppy exclaimed as he fell into the hospital wing, breathing heavily. ‘What happened?!’

‘I was in Reykjavik.’ He panted. ‘The Northern Lights.’ It was all he was able to say before he felt like his heart was about to explode.

Poppy had managed to get him into a bed and remove his cloak, scarf and jacket, but still his heart raced. He couldn't get enough breath into his lungs and he thought he might pass out there and then.

 

‘So, what was Reykjavik like?’ My mother asked just as I made my way back down from the shower. I was still drying my hair with a towel around my neck.

‘Stunning.’ I said rather plainly as I sat down to eat. ‘Really stunning.’

My parents exchanged glances and both gave a concerned look.

‘Did something happen?’ My father asked, suddenly taking more of an interest than I felt comfortable with.

I sighed. ‘Yes.’ I sat back and thought for a moment, before carefully explaining what had happened, excluding the parts about Remus kissing me or anything to do with the sexual aspects of the weekend.

‘I think I've heard something about that.’ My father said curiously. ‘The creatures that live with the Lights are extraordinarily calm, but I've never heard anything about it affecting werewolves.’

‘Remus didn't seem to know either, but he was nothing but calm the entire time we were there.’ I agreed. ‘I'm worried though, I'm not sure what that means for him now. He wasn't himself when he left.’

‘We could see that.’ My father said, not exactly pleased. ‘Do you need to go to the school?’

‘No, Remus will let me know if he needs me.’ I shook my head. ‘He just needs to rest.’

A faint popping sound could be heard outside in the garden and soon Professor McGonagall was making her way through the door. She didn't look wet at all, she just looked flustered.

‘Lockwood.’ Her voice was shaking. ‘It's Remus, I'm afraid we need your help.’

‘What happened?’ I stood up grabbing my wand and long coat. ‘Is he alright?’

‘We don't know. He's not himself. George, Anna, you both may be able to assist as well.’ She said and we all took the Floo network straight to the hospital wing.

It was chaotic when we got there, Madame Pomfrey was trying to keep up with everything around her as well as ordering a few of her staff to take care of some of the students. McGonagall managed to get her attention for a moment and she led us over to an area sectioned off from the rest of the wing where Remus was lying in a pool of sweat, breathing heavily and unable to stop shaking. He was so pale and almost looked mid transformation.

I went to take a step towards him before my father stopped me. ‘Angie, we don't know what's going on with him just now.’

‘And we won't if I don't do something.’ I shot back and my father let me go. I carefully stepped around the bed, keeping my distance. His eyes were shut tight and I could see him muttering to himself, though I couldn't hear what it was he was saying. ‘Remus?’ I said quietly, trying not to startle him, he suddenly stopped muttering and his eyes snapped open. They were bloodshot and bright green. ‘Remus.’ I said again and slowly his eyes found mine. ‘I'm here to help.’ I said, I took another small step towards him and lowered myself so that he didn't need to strain himself looking at me. ‘Are you in pain?’ I asked.

It took a moment or two, but eventually he nodded. I gave my father a look and immediately he went to find a pain relief. ‘Angelina.’ It was more of a growl than anything, but it was still so quiet. 

‘I'm here, I'm here Remus.’ I said, taking another step closer so that I could almost reach out and touch him.

‘I'm sorry.’ He growled again. I began to think it wasn't a growl, but simply his voice merging into the transformation.

‘You don't have anything to be sorry for.’ I shook my head, giving him a small smile. ‘Absolutely nothing in the world. Just try to relax and I'll fix this, I promise I'll fix this.’ I promised and watched him shiver violently. ‘Are you cold?’

‘No.’ He said and I could see a small struggle happening behind his eyes. ‘Don't get too close.’ He warned.

‘Angie.’ My mother said gently, warning me not to get too close. I glanced up at her, before taking the last step towards Remus.

‘You cannot change without the moon, you know that.’ I told Remus, he stared up at me, almost unable to believe that I had gotten so close. ‘We talked about this, you remember, we talked about this and I told you that without the full moon, you are still a man, a human being and that is it.’ 

Remus said nothing. He just stared at me, the green in his eyes became sharper and I suddenly realised what was happening.

‘I'm not talking to Remus, am I?’ I said and there was a faint frown. ‘Your eyes are green, bloodshot and they only get like that when you've transformed.’

‘Angelina.’ It was a painful beg to hear. ‘I don't feel like myself.’

‘I know. I know I can see it.’ I could see my father coming back with a goblet, but he didn't dare get too close. ‘I want to help you. Can you do something for me?’

He took a moment, his eyes softening slightly before Remus nodded.

‘I can see you're in pain, let me give you something for it?’ I watched him for a moment and nothing happened he just watched me. I could see his eyes softening into the bright blue of Remus before changing back to the harsh green of the wolf. 

I held out my hand to grab the goblet and my father immediately stepped back once he'd handed it to me.

‘I need you to drink this. Can you do that for me?’ I asked and could him beginning to shake more violently than before. I placed the goblet on the side table and took the last step towards him, placing my hand on his shoulder. He was burning beneath my hand, but I didn't care. ‘You need to concentrate, focus on me.’ I commanded him.

‘Angelina,’ he whispered. I came in a little closer to hear him. ‘I love you.’ He whispered even quieter. ‘Please help me.’ His eyes were green and red and they had never looked so wild. I didn't know what to say.

‘Drink this and you'll feel better.’ I told him, still not quite sure how to process everything. I helped him drink the pain relief and immediately his eyes began to close. I took the goblet away and did some very quick thinking.

‘Any ideas, Lockwood?’ Madame Pomfrey asked.

‘Just one.’ I said, feeling a lump in my throat. ‘That's not Remus. The wolf is awake.’


	20. When I Wake

‘What do we do?’ My mother asked as I paced around the hospital wing. 

‘We need to figure out how it happened and reverse it.’ My father answered.

‘He said something about the Northern Lights when he came to me.’ Pomfrey was still rushing around tending to students who were there.

I let them talk to each other while I tried to figure out what to do. But the wolf was awake, this could have been one of my only opportunities to communicate with it and ask questions only he could answer, but I couldn’t do that to Remus, not for any reason. They were still talking amongst themselves and it was mildly irritating to hear in the background.

The Lights were calming, they didn't provoke violent or even irritable behaviour, that's what Remus had said, they kept him calm. Something suddenly hit me like a sledge hammer.

‘The wolf is awake.’ I said, everyone turned to see me. ‘It's obvious, we just put him back to sleep.’ Something flickered in the back of my mind, the nagging thought that this could have been an opportunity to find out things that I never could when Remus was in his human form.

‘Your Wolfsbane.’ Pomfrey caught on. ‘I'll get Severus to make some immediately.’ She scuttled off to find Snape.

‘Will it work?’ My father asked.

‘The full moon comes out and the wolf wakes up, the lunar cycle gives him permission to change the physicality of the host.’ I explained. ‘Except there's no full moon. Remus is probably more dangerous than he's ever been right now, but it doesn't change the fact he cannot change without the full moon. That means we can communicate with the wolf in human form, putting him to sleep should be much easier.’ But there was no way I could do that to Remus, I couldn’t communicate with the wolf, he wouldn’t want me to.

‘But he's asleep just now?’ My mother shook her head. ‘Surely that's all it takes?’

‘And I've never actually heard of this happening before, Angie, are you sure you're right about this?’ My father rubbed his chin curiously.

‘No, but I don't have any other theories, do you?’ Neither of my parents answered. ‘This is worth a try. It's the only logical thing that could have happened, the Lights emit a sort of magic that keeps particular creatures calm, but maybe it awakens their primal instincts as well; taking that away from the creature that's being affected so quickly must have this type of effect, sort of like withdrawal. It only makes sense.’

My parents gave each other a look I didn't recognise. My father sighed and gave me a tight smile but said nothing.

‘What?’ I asked. My father just shook his head and my mother kept her gaze fixed towards the curtain around Remus. ‘No, tell me. You clearly want to say something, what is it?’

They exchanged another glance and my father nodded for the two of us to move somewhere a little quieter. We were on the opposite side of the hospital wing and the other side of Remus's bed.

‘Your mother and I have been talking,’ he started carefully. ‘And we think it's best that, while you continue to see Remus that you do so within the… Safety of this country. Understand Angie, that while we’re keen for you to see the world, we weren't exactly happy about what you told us of your time in Reykjavik.’

‘You think he's dangerous?

‘Not usually,’ my father quickly cut in. ‘He's a perfectly nice person, his teaching skills are second to none and we hope he continues to teach for a very long time. What we cannot accept is that he took you somewhere that he hadn't properly researched and given his condition-‘

‘Given his condition?’ I said, a little louder than I had me at, to, but luckily no one heard. ‘What’s that supposed to mean? You sound like the rest of them, prejudice and without proper education.’

‘Angie-‘ I could see the anger starting to emit from him, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

‘You know what, I don't get it.’ I was beginning to lose it. ‘I don't understand you people, you tell me you want me to see the world, but you don't want me to experience it for myself, to make my own mistakes, to get hurt. And you know what that's okay, I can understand your worry, but why is Remus suddenly a threat in your book?’

‘Because, he could’ve killed you.’ My father snapped. ‘He could have killed you, whether he meant to or not and if that should happen-‘ he stopped. ‘You and Darren are the most important people in my life, your mother and I would go to any length to protect you both. When you have children you'll understand.’

‘There's a lot I don't understand, a lot of people who can and might kill me.’ I swallowed. ‘There's a lot I still need to learn, but you've always had faith in my abilities to learn quickly and adapt. I'm getting older and wiser every day and yes the situations I find myself in are getting more deadly, but I am better equipped to deal with them than I ever have been. Please, dad, please have faith that I can do this. Don't ask me to leave him, because I won't. I still don't know how I feel, but I won't abandon him… Ever.’ I tried to have a sense of finality about my words, but my father was one of the only people who would dare push back against me and usually he would win the argument.

My father just looked at me like he couldn't believe what I had just said, before bringing me into a death hug. ‘Oh, Angie.’ He sighed. ‘I love you with all of my heart.’ It was all he said on the matter and let me go, guiding me back to where my mother was standing. ‘Remus will be asleep for at least twelve hours, the sleeping draught was enough to knock out a Hippogriff. Poppy will see that he is kept rested and I'll tell her to send us a message when he wakes, but for now, I'd like you to go home and get some rest.’

‘Dad-‘

‘There is nothing more you can do Angie.’ He said firmly. ‘Adrianna, I'll see you in a few hours, we’ll be fine here for now.’

My father gave my mother a small kiss and we soon left the hospital wing. My head was in a daze, I wasn't sure why we were leaving at first and I wasn't sure why I had just argued with my father, but as soon as we got out into the cold night air, I felt the tiredness catch up to me, the irritability chasing me. The Lights clearly had an effect on myself as well.

Before I knew what was happening, my head hit the pillow and darkness took over.

 

I didn’t stay home for long, as soon as I was awake I was throwing my long black coat around my shoulders, shoving a piece of toast in my mouth and apparating back to Hogwarts. The hospital wing was much less gloomy in the light and I wondered if Remus had had a good night. By the looks of things, it had been better than I thought.

He was awake reading, his glasses occasionally sliding down his nose. He had a heavy set frown on while he read and was mouthing a few of the sentences. I spotted Madame Pomfrey gliding around in her office and made a quick stop.

‘Oh, Lockwood, thank goodness you’re here.’ She breathed. ‘He’s been hyperactive all night. Only woke properly an hour ago. We’re still not sure he's back to normal yet.’

‘Have you checked his eyes?’

‘His eyes?’

‘They change colour when he transforms.’ I nodded. ‘Remus’s eyes are blue, but when he changes they’re bright green and a little bloodshot. He also gets paler and his scars are more clearly visible.’

‘I haven’t checked, I’m sorry.’ She smiled weakly.

‘It’s fine, I’ll do it.’ I shook my head, giving her a tight smile. I was still a little irritable, but I knew as soon as I sat down and absorbed myself in the copy of the Daily Prophet that I picked up, I would be fine.

I didn’t even bother making eye contact, I just slumped down in the chair next to Remus and began to read silently. I heard him shuffle next to me, but he didn’t say anything and for a long time we simply sat with each other. That was, until Pomfrey came over with another goblet full of my Wolfsbane, the smell still made me sick.

‘You’re looking better already, not as pale.’ Pomfrey said and I gave a small smile behind my paper. ‘Let me see you, Remus… Blue, that’s good. Drink up and we’ll reassess shortly.’

I could hear him drinking the entire goblet and it was mildly annoying to hear him swallow so loudly. I was still irritable. He put the goblet down a little more forcefully than I had anticipated and I moved part of my paper out of the way to see him looking at me with his soft blue eyes, completely startled by my reaction.

I gave him a quick scan and got back to my reading. We were silent for a few more minutes before either of us spoke.

‘Angelina-‘

‘I feel guilty.’ I interrupted and folded the paper back up, throwing it on the ground so I wouldn’t be tempted to fidget with it.

Remus was giving me a shocked expression. He was about to ask why when I continued speaking.

‘I wanted to talk to the wolf and find out about the transformations from his point of view.’ I said it quickly, like ripping off a plaster. ‘You asked me to help you and all I wanted was to keep you like that for a little while longer for the sake of research. It was cruel to think that and I’m sorry.’

Remus shifted uncomfortably. 

‘Do you feel better at least?’ I asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Good.’

Something was preventing me from maintaining eye contact for long periods of time and I just wanted to leave the school and head home to sleep.

‘You’re agitated.’ Remus pointed out. I sighed, exasperated. ‘Anything else you’d like to say while you’re like this?’

‘There is plenty I would like to say Remus, but this is neither the time or place.’ I could feel the irritability turning into fully fledged anger bubbling under the surface. ‘You aren’t well and I’m here to comfort you, whatever that means.’

Remus stayed quiet, he folded his glasses and put them on top of his book on the side table.

‘Do you remember much of last night?’ I asked, somewhat curious.

‘I remember everything.’ He breathed. ‘Every detail of the entire weekend. You?’

When I thought about it, really thought about it. I did as well. I remembered everything from start to finish and if I wanted I could trace over every conversation, every facial expression I saw on him and everything I thought.

‘I’ll take that as a yes.’ Remus said and I immediately felt my face form into a deep set frown. I hated that I was so easy to read. ‘Angelina, you saved me last night. I thought I was going to change and that I was going hurt people including you. I was ready to give up, but the second I saw you, I knew there was hope, no matter how big or small, there was hope for me.’ He paused and I could see him thinking very hard about something. ‘I told you something last night, something I didn’t intend on saying for a while, at least not until I thought you might say it back.’

I was momentarily taken back. ‘Wait, you… I mean, you meant that? It was you saying that? That you…?’

‘That I love you? Yes, it was me.’ He sighed. ‘I thought I was going to die.’

‘So you only said it because you thought you were going to die?’ I breathed a small sigh of relief, finally an explanation I could understand. But Remus’s face began to contort with pain.

‘No.’ He whispered. ‘I said it, because it’s true and I realised that I couldn’t die or let anything happen to you, without you fully understanding how I feel.’

I stayed silent, just trying to process what he was saying. ‘You should be angry.’ I said and I watched as he gave a quick frown in questioning. ‘Why aren’t you angry?’

‘I am a little hurt, but then, I’m always a little hurt when you’re around.’ Remus admitted, he gave a look that said he knew full well that I couldn’t understand what he was saying. ‘Do you want me to tell you what it was like? To have that part of me awake?’

‘Yes, but I think it can wait until I’m less irritable.’ I shot at him. ‘The Lights appear to have had an effect on me as well. I can’t imagine why.’ I rolled my eyes, taking a deep breath.

‘I think Poppy might have something-‘

‘It’s fine.’ I snapped, before sighing. He was right, I should have taken something to calm myself down a little. I wandered over to where the matron was attending another student and asked for what I needed. She happily obliged and I went to sit back down with Remus, downing the potion in one go and sitting the empty goblet next to Remus’s. ‘Better?’

‘A little.’ He nodded. ‘Are you alright?’

‘Fine,’ I could feel the potion having an effect already. ‘I was worried. I don’t like worrying.’

‘I know.’ Remus smiled. ‘I think we should talk about what happened, I’d like to know how you feel about certain things, I think you can guess which things in particular. But I’d also like to apologise for putting you through everything, not just last night, but over the weekend as a whole, I feel I wasn’t exactly at my best.’

I felt my cheeks warm up a little and Remus took notice.

‘Yes, well, those parts weren’t so bad.’ His cheeks had gone a light shade of pink as well. ‘But, I’m afraid of what could have happened should I have lost any more control than I did. I am inclined to agree with your father that I’m probably someone you should be very careful around,’ my hand immediately went to my temples, rubbing them gently with the stress of the conversation I’d had with my father the previous night. ‘I’m not saying that we shouldn't be together, or telling you that you should stay away from me, I’m just making sure you understand what you’re getting yourself into.’

‘You know what? I am really fed up.’ I said, keeping myself under more control than I was aware I had. ‘I am so done with people telling me you’re dangerous, that I should find someone my own age or someone more like me. I don’t know what I’m doing here!’ I took a breath, knowing I’d said that a lot louder than I had intended. ‘You are the only person in my entire life that has had the patience or the – whatever the damn word is – to actually help me understand. You make me feel normal, the way no one else does and I am so tired, I’m exhausted with people telling me that I should be careful. I thought the whole point to being with someone was to take risks and and get hurt and grow. I can’t understand why no one is letting me do that? I’m just so frustrated.’

‘I can see that.’ Remus was smiling, of all the things he should've have been doing, smiling was not something I thought he would do. ‘How about I make a promise?’

‘What kind of promise?’ I said, feeling my temper still unable to cool.

‘I promise to always be honest, to always give you what want and need, for as long as you would have me.’ Remus had a strange glint in his eye.

‘Are you sure you’re feeling alright?’ I suddenly asked. This was not the Remus I knew, this was someone different. I was sure of it.

‘Yes, I had a life changing moment last night and I now know what I need to do to be happy.’ He explained. I just watched him for a moment. ‘I’m making the promise anyway, even if I only get to call you mine for the next five minutes… Angelina, please try to understand what I’m saying. You can have all the time in the world, I owe you that for saving me. But please talk to me if you want me to answer any questions you might have, I’ll be as clear as I can.’

‘Why would you make a promise like that?’

‘Because I’m in love with you.’ It was as if all the air was sucked from my lungs. I could feel the crushing weight of his admission and it honestly terrified me a little. ‘It’s a lot to take in, I understand. But I promise after a while, it’ll be easy to understand.’

‘You can’t know that.’

‘No, but I can make a very clear educated guess.’ He retorted with an easy smile.

‘Why aren’t you angry? Or upset? Or…. Something.’ I exclaimed.

‘I am a little of everything,’ he didn’t stop smiling. ‘But I’m old enough to know when it's not useful to be any of those things and I know you well enough to know that a calming presence is what you respond to best… You were so brave these last few days, I believe my being calm and honest helped you do that.’

‘It did.’ It really did, I’d never felt like this before and I never thought Remus would be the one to make me feel like that. ‘I need to think.’ I said finally and Remus nodded.

‘I guessed you would.’ He smiled again and I stood up to leave. ‘Take all the time you need. Write if you need me for anything, to answer a question or just someone to be angry at. I want to do that for you.’ I couldn’t quite understand what was happening. I wanted to kiss him, but I also wanted to leave and think. The latter won.

 

I made my way to the front doors of the castle and stopped, I had the distinct impression that someone was watching me. I turned back to see robes whipping around the corner, if I wasn’t mistaken, it looked like Dumbledore's robes, but it was only a fleeting glance.

I made my way to the gates and apparated back home. My parents were gone, probably at work and I was entirely alone. There was a small stack of letters sitting on the table for me and I decided I had nothing better to do than go through them.

It was mostly letters from my friends, including David and Aleksander and it was nice to hear from them. I still had nightmares about Bulgaria, but at least they were dying down. I opened the one from Darren and automatically wandered upstairs to grab my book to write back to him.

Angie,

Mum and dad say you’re going away with Remus for the weekend. Hope it goes well, you’ll have to write the second you get back, I want to hear all about it.

Oh and I forgot to mention in my last letter that I pretended like the whole you and Remus thing was news to me as well. Not entirely sure mum and dad bought it, but I did what I could. I’m still sorry to hear about what happened in Bulgaria. If you need any time away from England, feel free to come to Japan and see me. There are portkeys that leave every few days for somewhere in Asia and as long as you stick to the apparation sites, you can go just about anywhere.

Send Jocelyne and Benji my love, I won’t be able to make their house warming as we’ve got a game on Sunday and it's against Toyohashi Hengu and any time we face them, the games last at least a couple of days. 

I hope you and Remus are well. Send him my love as well.

Love you.

Darren

I wrote out a reply, detailing the weekend, I gave Darren a little more info than I did my parents, but still kept anything to do with sex out of it. I wished him luck for the game and yawned once it was sent. 

The last letter was from Jocelyne and Benji, it was letting everyone know that the house warming was being changed to an all day thing and people should just arrive whenever they liked after midday. It was already close to two in the afternoon and I decided that I might as well have just gone to their house.

I changed into something somewhat suitable for the occasion, but I knew they'd forgive my terrible dress sense, they always did.

I’d picked up a gift for them in Bulgaria and quickly finished wrapping it. I left a note for my parents and went out into the back garden to apparate to their house.

 

Remus had felt so much more like himself when he woke up. He was nervous and worried and that was the only way he knew the wolf was asleep. He had been terrified when Angelina began getting closer and closer to him. Terrified that he would die from his heart exploding inside his chest and terrified that she would be unable to help him. 

His nightmares were worse than they’d ever been, he writhed and couldn’t stop his body shaking. He tried to resist letting the wolf take over, but often it was a losing battle and Poppy had restrained him just to be on the safe side. She had also put up a variety of charms, silencing and protective, to make sure that he was undisturbed throughout the night.

Poppy examined him again once Angelina had left and determined that he was back to normal. Though he would need to keep coming back to get checked up throughout the week, just to be sure.

Dumbledore had asked to see him in his office once Remus was finished teaching that day. Various people had asked where he had been all weekend and Remus made up some story about going to see wild unicorns, that he’d had an encounter and that was why he had been in the hospital wing most of the day.

The students were satisfied with this answer and soon that was what spread around the school, Remus needed to remind himself to tell the other teachers that was the story he was going with as it wasn’t exactly untrue, he had seen wild unicorns.

He had worried all day about Angelina's response to what he had said the previous night. He had no intentions of telling her that he loved her, not for a while yet and for some unknown reason it just slipped out. There were plenty of times he wanted to say it, but he stopped himself every time, scared in case it was too much for her. Angelina hadn’t had the reaction he had hoped for, his timing was all wrong, the Lights had an effect on her, similar to what had happened to him, she was quick to anger and her breathing was heavy.

Remus wrote a letter to James, telling him what had happened and asking why he hadn’t warned him about what would happen to Angelina. Much to Remus’s surprise, James had appeared in his fire just as he was about to leave for his meeting with Dumbledore.

‘James?’

‘Remus, I just got your letter, what do you mean the Lights had an effect on her?’ He coughed a little and small amounts of ash lifted before floating back down. 

‘She’s irritable, quick to anger and I’ve never seen her so frustrated, not for a long time anyway.’ Remus sat down on the edge of one of his chairs, staring into the fire. ‘Why didn’t you tell me before we left?’

‘Because I didn’t know.’ James said, honestly. ‘The Lights don’t really effect humans like that. Please understand, I didn’t know what would happen to you and I can understand if you’re angry with me-‘

‘I’m not,’ Remus interrupted his old friend. ‘I’m just angry I didn’t see it coming, any time I make progress with her, something always happens to set us back.’

‘I understand. Are you alright?’

‘Yes, I’m fine… I’m worried and nervous.’

‘Sounds like the Remus I know.’ James smiled and it made Remus laugh. ‘Remus, if something happened to Angelina, I don’t know anything about it. But if she needs help, let Lily and I know and we’ll do whatever you need us to.’

‘Thank you, but I don’t know what to do. Angelina is entirely human, there’s no reason she should-‘ Remus stopped talking, suddenly realising something.

‘Remus?’

‘She’s animagus.’ He said. ‘That’s probably why she’s agitated, that part of her must have reacted in a similar manner to me.’

‘But that doesn’t make sense, I’m animagus and I’ve never had that reaction. I’m always fine when I come back.’ James pointed out. ‘But then again, hers is a wolf. Different temperament to a stag I suppose.’

‘It’s the only thing that makes sense.’ Remus thought about it, before quickly checking his watch. ‘I have to get going, Dumbledore wanted to see me after classes were over.’

‘Okay, well, write if you need anything. Lily’s coming back home late tonight, but I’m sure she’d be happy to help if I'm not in.’

‘Thank you, James. For everything you’ve done for me.’

‘No thanks needed.’ James smiled. ‘You know we’d do anything for you.’

Remus just smiled and watched as James’s face disappeared from the fire. He quickly stood up and put his cardigan back on, leaving the safety of his office. He said a few hellos to the students that welcomed him back and he was glad to hear that his story of studying wild unicorns had spread and even been wildly elaborated on. 

He finally reached the gargoyle and Dumbledore had been walking up the other way.

‘Ah Remus, how were the unicorns?’ He asked, vaguely aware that there were students still wandered around.

‘Fascinating as you can imagine.’ Remus smiled politely and Dumbledore nodded heading up to his office with Remus close behind.

Dumbledore settled down behind his desk and gestured for Remus to do the same opposite. He was beginning to feel nervous now, knowing that Dumbledore would probably want to know why he’d been so reckless in the first place.

‘We do strange things for love, Remus.’ The headmaster said simply. ‘Sometimes these things can have devastating effects on the people around us… I never doubted for a single second that Angie Lockwood would come up with a solution to what happened last night, I never believed you were a threat to this school and I still don't. I want you to stay here and teach for as long as possible.’ Well that settled his fears about being sacked. ‘That’s all I want to say on the subject.’

‘Thank you.’ Remus breathed, he wasn’t aware that he had been holding his breath until he let it go.

‘However, I have brought you here for another reason.’ Dumbledore’s gaze wandered up to where the sorting hat sat staring down at the conversation taking place. ‘He’s been saying things I think you should hear.’

‘There is a great darkness coming.’ The hat said, not really knowing where to look. ‘A darkness that only one can stand against, one can hope to defeat. A wolf of great power.’

‘Angelina.’ Remus whispered under his breath.

‘The things I saw inside her head…’ The hat gave a shudder. ‘So intelligent, but the balance still unsettled. The line between light and dark, blurred… The power to destroy everything, or build greatness… She will kill us!’ The hat suddenly shouted, before regaining itself. ‘No, no she will save us, save us all… It’s unclear… We must stand strong together, she will be your last resort, the secret weapon against one side or another… It’s unclear.’ The hat gave another shudder and remained silent.

Remus just watched it for a moment, unsure what to do with the information he had just been presented with.

‘Remus,’ Dumbledore begged, Remus turned to see him pleading. ‘You understand what this means, should the Dark Lord return she will be hunted by him. You must guide her on the right path, she must not give in to him.’

‘But why her?’

‘Because she has power the rest of us can only dream of. Angie Lockwood is more powerful than you or I and should a war come, should Harry Potter’s life be in mortal danger, I feel she is the one who will tip the balance. Whose favour that will be in, remains to be seen.’ Dumbledore leaned back and watched as Remus tried his hardest to take in what was being said.

‘She’s a good person.’

‘She is.’

‘She isn’t a weapon, she is a human being.’

‘That’s not how the Dark Lord will see her, you must make her realise this.’ Dumbledore implored.

‘Why me? She’s perfectly capable of seeing right from wrong all on her own.’ Remus was exasperated.

‘For now. But you know what Voldemort is capable of, her mind is so fragile and you are one of the only people she trusts with it.’

Remus didn’t say anything, instead he just sat and thought about what had been said. He couldn’t do all of that, if she chose to stand with Voldemort or was forced to, she could kill everyone. For now, it seemed that a lot rested on Remus’s shoulders.

‘I remember someone else who had that look.’ Dumbledore suddenly said. ‘Someone else, who sat in my office, only this person was a fifteen year old child who believed she had caused someone she cared about immense harm.’

Remus smiled faintly, he imagined Angelina had felt a heavy weight of responsibility three years ago when she first invented Lockwood’s Wolfsbane, much like the responsibility he felt now.

‘Patience has always been the key and honesty.’ Remus said, more to himself than Dumbledore. ‘She may not be very good at recognising facial expressions, but she isn’t stupid, she knows when she’s being lied to or when someone is keeping something to themselves… I made her a promise today, I promised I would always be honest with her. I’ll have to tell her about this if she asks.’

‘If that’s what you think should be done, then so be it.’ Dumbledore nodded. ‘In the meantime, Poppy is waiting for you in the hospital wing.’

‘Yes, once again, I’m sorry about everything.’

Dumbledore waved his hand. ‘We’ve dealt with it as best we could. You know more about your condition than I do and Angie probably knows more than you, if she says you’re fine to continue teaching, that’s enough for me.’

Remus just nodded and soon left Dumbledore's office to head down for dinner.


	21. The Inside of Me

I had been having a butterbeer with Jocelyne in her new beautifully modern kitchen, which she loved, and we had been laughing about some thing or another we did in school.

‘I still can’t believe it's over.’ She said. ‘You and David off in Bulgaria, Jack going through his Healer training and us getting a house and getting married. It’s just so…’

‘Grown up?’ I offered and we burst into a fit of giggles.

‘So, you and old Professor Lupin getting together wasn’t much of a surprise to anyone then?’ She asked, wiggling her eyebrows and giving a knowing smirk.

‘My parents were… Taken back. Darren knew from the beginning and David wasn’t exactly shocked, but you know what he’s like, he just laughed and said he was happy for me.’ I told her, taking another swig of butterbeer and watching as Jack finally arrived.

‘What did your dad say?’

‘Well, Remus asked for his permission when he came to Bulgaria.’ I frowned.

‘That’s a bit old fashioned.’ Jocelyne laughed. ‘But I guess it makes sense.’

She didn’t elaborate and I just folded my arms. ‘It doesn’t make sense to me.’

‘I forget you’re not good at this stuff.’ She rolled her eyes and grabbed us another couple of butterbeers from her fridge. ‘He obviously fancied you a bit in school and probably feels guilty about it because you were a student and because he first met you when you were eleven years old, but he probably feels like he owes you something for inventing the Wolfsbane and basically saving his life, but then he doesn’t want to push you into anything because he might feel like with you not really knowing how you feel that he’s grooming you or something or forcing you to be with him. And that's all before you take into account the fact he's a werewolf and people think he's some kind of monster all the time. He probably feels like he can’t trust himself around you and because he feels so strongly, he feels guilty about that. The flip side is that because you’re still young, he probably wants you to explore the world first before you settle into a life with him. You’re adventurous and smart as they come, probably why he’s attracted to you in the first place – personally I think it’s because you're gorgeous and have an awesome body, something I’m very jealous of – he doesn’t want you to be tied down by him or feel like he’s some kind of burden you have to carry around and that if anything should happen to you, either while you’re on one of your adventures or while you’re with him, he would feel a sense of responsibility and guilt he couldn’t express at your funeral. So, by asking for your father’s permission, he both lets them know that he is taking your relationship seriously and that he wants them to feel like someone else is watching your back. Simple really.’

I just stared, entirely dumbfounded by everything she had said.

‘How?’ I asked but I had so many other questions. ‘No one could possibly feel all of that. He said he felt complicated, but surely not that…’

‘Angie, this is how people feel all the time. Just think about how you would feel in his position.’ She said, but I didn’t have time to answer before Jack came into the kitchen. ‘Jack! I’m so glad you made it!’ She caught him in a death hug and he just smiled awkwardly at her. I could tell this was going to be an awkward encounter before it started. ‘Well, I guess I’ll go and find Benji.’ She said and backed out of the kitchen. 

Jack and I were suddenly left very alone. 

‘How was Bulgaria?’ Jack asked, a peace offering. 

‘Yeah, good. Got a lot of work done over there.’ I nodded. ‘How’s the Healer training coming along?’

‘Fascinating. I was going to write and I haven’t told anyone except your dad yet, but I’ve been made St Mungo’s Lead Healer on any werewolf cases that come through. The ministry want to list me as an expert.’ He said, taking a small step towards where I was standing. 

‘Wow, that’s great news!’ I said and couldn’t help myself, I had to hug him. ‘That’s amazing.’ I pulled away, smiling at my best friend.

‘Yeah, I think it has something to do with the fact your dad has asked me to consult on most of the cases and the right people have taken note.’ Jack explained. ‘One of the cases was a girl who specifically asked for me, Erin, her name was. Dumbledore had gone to her house during the summer, looked like she’d already been given the star grass salve, but I suggested giving her the silver and dittany to make sure the wound healed over with as little scarring as possible.’

‘I think I remember Remus telling me he did that.’ I remembered vaguely he had sent me a note about it during my time in Bulgaria. Jack suddenly had a strange look on his face and his gaze dropped to the floor.

‘Yeah, I heard you two were together.’ He said and took a small step back. ‘Listen, I sort of met someone as well, she works at the Aurors office. I was going to tell you, but I wasn’t sure how.’

‘David said you’d met someone in the summer.’ I nodded, suddenly feeling the weight of the conversation. ‘Do I know her?’

‘Her name is Tonks, she’s a bit new at the office as well. She brought Benji into St Mungo’s and we just got to talking. She was in our year as well. Hufflepuff.’

‘Isn’t she Metamophagi?’ I asked, vaguely aware of who she was.

‘Yeah, it’s really brilliant actually, she did really well in her disguise and concealment examination as you can imagine.’ Jack laughed and I couldn’t help but laugh as well.

‘Well, I’m glad you’ve met someone. Are you happy?’ I wasn’t sure why I asked.

‘I am, yeah, she’s a lot of fun.’ Jack nodded and I could see that he cared very much for her. ‘Are you happy? With Remus, I mean?’

I didn’t answer straight away, too much had happened over the last few days for me to be sure of what I felt. ‘Yeah, yeah, he’s good to me.’

‘Well, good.’ Jack nodded and hugged me again. ‘I have missed you guys, and I've missed Hogwarts.’

‘Me too.’ I admitted, knowing that life just wasn’t the same anymore, it was complicated and frustrating and all I wanted was to run away from it.

I stayed at Jocelyne and Benji’s well into the morning hours, before Jack and I decided to go home. There had been a lot of people there, people from school, work and a few family members and it had been a great night chatting to everyone. But I was drunk and needed to get home.

Jack and I got to the end of the road to where we could safely apparate. ‘So, what's the plan for today?’ Jack said, his words slurring and making me giggle.

‘Sleep, I guess.’ I shrugged, avoiding a puddle and losing balance momentarily. Jack began laughing as well and we both tried to settle down. ‘I need to eat something.’ I shook my head still laughing.

‘Me too. You want to grab breakfast?’ Jack had that boyish look he always had in school and I just couldn't say no. 

‘Lead the way Rathborne.’ I said, smiling. We apparated to Diagon Alley and Jack led us to a small café that did good breakfast. We sat and sobered up a little and chatted about our lives beyond Hogwarts. 

‘I heard about Bulgaria.’ Jack suddenly said. ‘David wrote to me and said you got some kind of award?’

‘Yeah, it was a special award for services… Or something like that.’ I sipped a little of my pumpkin juice, trying to clear my head. ‘I think I gave it to my parents to do something with.’

Jack nodded and sat back with his tea in hand. ‘You feeling better?’

‘I feel hungover.’ I chuckled. Jack nodded and I had the feeling he wanted to say something. ‘What's on your mind?’

Jack shook his head and momentarily didn't answer. ‘There's a lot on my mind… I miss my best friend. We used to have so much fun, showing off and laughing about things that didn't matter, I keep thinking how great it would be if we could just go back and do one more year… We’re so different now, we both care about other people and everything feels further away, doesn't it?’

I knew what Jack meant, everything did feel different. It felt like Hogwarts was another time and this was real life, it was scary and dangerous and it wasn't going to change. 

I finally got home, feeling my head pounding hard. No one was home and I was exhausted. I checked for post and took the stack up to my room to read when I woke up. I was vaguely aware that my book had writing in the back of it, but I couldn't read anything from Remus in the state I was in. I was still trying to wrap my head around everything, including what Jocelyne had said the night before. It was too complicated for me right now.

 

Remus continued teaching through the week, he was careful to be slightly more helpful than usual, hoping that it would ease any tensions anyone had about what had happened. He had written to Angelina the day after she had left to see if she was okay, but he got no reply, he hoped she was simply working her way through things. 

Erin was unusually tired when the full moon came along and Remus had suggested staying in the hospital wing until it was over. Angelina had written to him only a few hours before he was about to change.

 

Remus,

I had breakfast with Jack on Tuesday, one of the things we talked about was how different we both feel now that we’re out of Hogwarts. He's right, I do feel different, I thought it was because of the Triwizard Tournament or everything that happened in Bulgaria or even being with you. But now, I'm not so sure. I just don't think I'm the same person I was, I'm not sure what to do or how to process everything. It's been an eventful few months and I'm starting to feel exhausted all the time. Is this what being an adult is really like?

Tell me how to figure everything out. 

Yours

Angelina

Remus reread the letter, over and over. He felt a wave of jealousy that she had been with Jack and entirely sympathetic towards the way she felt. He remembered feeling the same when he left school, life was just different beyond the castle. Remus couldn't think what to write back, so simply left it until the morning when he was in a clearer mindset.

 

I didn't expect a reply and I didn't really want one, I just wanted to stay in bed all day and think on my new life outside of school. It was challenging to say the least. I heard my parents come home late into the evening, but I couldn't find the will to go down and see them, so instead I grabbed my book and began reading into the night. 

I went from topic to topic, finding a word of interest and jumping from one interesting subject to the next. Something that caught my interest in particular was an ancient Egyptian theory on soul splitting. I had no idea why anyone would want to split their soul, but apparently the Egyptians believed you could split the soul into the light half and dark half. The purpose was to allow one or the other to take over the body entirely and live out the rest of your days either as a dark wizard or otherwise.

It reignited my curiosity for dark magic, so I began reading what I could on the subject. It all looked rather intimidating and I soon understood why my father had told me all those years ago to learn from a distance. 

I looked down at my wand and wondered about it, the capabilities it had. I'd read a little on wand lore and discovered that not only was Elder a rare wood to make a wand with, but Phoenix feather was a hard core to come by. My wand was old, two hundred and fifty years, that was what Ollivander had told me all those years ago. So why did it choose me?

I needed to find out. The sun had started coming up again and I quickly flicked to the back of my book where my message still sat awaiting a reply. I got up and took a shower with the intentions of going to Diagon Alley. I could just about hear my father calling my name as I grabbed some toast and my book and rushed out the door apparating to the busying high street.

I finished my toast and found Ollivander’s shop, hesitating before opening the door to find it empty. It was just as I remembered it, dark and dusty but full of wonder. There was a shuffling in the back and I heard footsteps getting closer to the front of the shop.

‘Miss Lockwood?’ Ollivander frowned. ‘Something wrong with your wand?’

‘No.’ I shook my head. ‘I'm sorry to bother you, I just had some questions.’

Ollivander suddenly had a look of understanding. ‘I wondered when this day would come.’

‘You knew I'd come back?’

‘Yes. The only question was when.’ He nodded and gestured for me to go where no one else had been, the back of his shop. The space between the shelves was small, but then, it only needed to be big enough for the wandmaker to move through. ‘I wagered with myself that I would see you again in maybe fifteen years. It seems you have learnt much more in less time than I had anticipated.’

If he knew I would come back, why did he let me leave in the first place? We continued through the winding corridors and I wondered if I'd ever find my way out again. That was until we stopped inside the expansive work room. It was nothing like I imagined, it looked more like the inside of some metal wielder than a wandmaker, it wasn't elegant or even pretty. The walls were lined with pieces of wood not yet made into any kind of shape. There were boxes and cabinets filled with what looked like cores.

‘I'm afraid I cannot answer your questions.’ Ollivander said from a fireplace off to one side of the room. He was pouring out two cups of tea. ‘I can only tell you the facts about your particular wand and I'm afraid I only know a few.’

‘You don't know what my questions are.’ I said, placing my book down on the table next to two chairs. 

‘The wands we possess can tell us much about who we are.’ Ollivander had a slightly colder look to him as he handed me a tea cup. ‘No human can tell us the things our wands can. You want to know why your wand chose you above all others. Why in two hundred and fifty years you were the only one worthy of its power? Tell me I'm wrong.’

I shook my head, sipping my tea carefully.

‘That is a question only your wand can answer, you must only ask.’ Ollivander gazed at me through his watery blue eyes. ‘I didn't make your wand, my great grandfather did. I'm afraid I only know what he told me of its creation. It took him a long time to make, to find the right combination of wood and core. Elder is an extraordinarily difficult wood to master, it is only done so by those who are extraordinary by design and those who have a great power inside of them. I believe that in two hundred and fifty years, your power is greater than that of anyone else who has passed through this shop. Your wand has the ability to harness any branch of magic, done so, by the design of my great grandfather. Possibly that suggests you have the ability to learn all branches of magic.’

‘All branches? Dark and light?’ I asked and received a very suspicious look in return.

‘Let me show you something Miss Lockwood.’ I followed Ollivander towards a room on the other side of the work space. ‘This is the tree of magic.’ Ollivander opened the heavy wood door and flicked his own wand to ignite candles all around the circular room. It was like a tapestry plastered to the wall that reached high up to the point I couldn't see the top. I could see a few words in my fleeting scan, transfiguration, charms, jinxes, hexes, conjuring and so many others. There was one that caught my eye in particular. Soul magic, Tibet.

I wandered over to it and saw the writing covering the branches was old, like the person who had written it had lived long before magic even existed. ‘What is soul magic?’ I asked.

Ollivander watched me. ‘Soul magic is a very old form of magic that is no longer practised. It has many smaller branches, such as removal, splitting and growth. Only one of these is considered worth the practice and even then, it is extraordinarily difficult. Growth, it is the process of looking inside ones soul and seeing what it contains. You see it has the word Tibet next to it as well, that means the practice originated somewhere in Tibet.’

It had caught my attention that was for sure and something about it scared me a little, but I couldn't help but wonder what I would find should I have looked at my soul. ‘I've never even heard of some of these types of magic.’

‘No, not all are practised and not all are essential to our way of life anymore. You may have heard a little in your history classes, but nowadays history of magic focuses on the practitioner and not the practice.’ Ollivander took a step towards me. ‘Your wand is capable of all of this, as are you, Miss Lockwood. You only need practice.’

It was a daunting task, but one I wanted to take on. I wanted to practice more magic, I wanted to explore the branches. Ollivander had given me a copy of the tree of magic and warned me against the darker aspects of the tree. I had briefly glimpsed a reply from Remus in the back of my book and decided to head home to read it.

 

Angelina,

I'm so happy to hear from you. 

I felt the same when I left school, it can be a very scary time and confusing to say the least. I made a promise to be honest with you and to do everything I can to give you what you want and need, I stand by that. But I'm afraid I don't have the answer. I can't tell you how to figure this out, it's something that will simply happen when the time is right. It cannot be worked out in your head alone, it takes something more.

I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

If you feel you can, I'd like to talk to you about what you're going through. It's hard to communicate through letters and properly understand what it is you're trying to ask. You could come to the castle if you felt comfortable? Any time you like? And we can talk.

Yours always.

Remus

I closed the book and wondered if I should've have gone to speak with Remus about what I had discovered about my wand, he might have known something about wands I didn't, or something Ollivander neglected to mention.

I quickly wrote to Remus, telling him I'd meet him in the his office that night once his classes were finished and began trying to find out more about Tibet. It was again a difficult task, it was like being back in my history of magic classes and listening to the droning of Professor Binns, except I was reading it. Some of my research was interesting and some of it was entirely unimportant, but I did manage to find a location for a village that first practised soul magic.

I leaned back in my chair and stared out at the view from my bedroom, it was expansive and I could see fields for miles, something I'd always liked, but recently it had made me feel very alone and almost abandoned. I flicked to the back page of my book and saw that Remus had replied, saying he would see me in his office that evening.

It was pouring with rain as November was slowly coming to an end and I hated leaving the house more and more, but I made the trip to Hogwarts that evening in it anyway, Remus had the fire going and I immediately felt better.

‘I'm thinking about leaving.’ I said and took a moment before bringing myself to stare him straight in the eye.

Remus stared at me for a moment, putting his teacup down and sighing. ‘Leaving, or leaving me?’ He asked and I thought I could hear something I hadn’t heard before.

‘Just leaving. I need some time away from everything and I don’t know how long it will take.’

‘It sounds like you’re heading somewhere in particular?’ Remus suddenly looked like someone who had given up. 

I nodded, not quite feeling in control of the conversation. ‘Tibet.’ I said simply.

‘To see the Yetis?’ Remus frowned.

I shook my head. ‘No, there's somewhere else I feel I need to go.’ 

‘Angelina.’ Remus almost begged. ‘You’re not giving me much assurance that you’ll come back-‘

‘I’m not leaving you Remus, I’m just leaving.’ I nearly snapped. ‘I told you before, you’re the only one who makes me feel normal, I’m not stupid enough to throw something like that away. But I have questions, questions that you already told me you couldn’t answer.’

‘I can’t lose you.’ Remus whispered. ‘Please just… Let’s just talk about this, let's talk about what you need and maybe, maybe I can give you the answers.’

‘Remus.’ I sat on the edge of my chair closer to him. ‘I’m not leaving you, I’ll come back for you, always… I just have to find out who I am, look at this.’ I pulled the parchment out of my book and showed him. ‘It's called the Tree of Magic and every single branch of magic is on that tree. I went to Ollivander today, he told me that I have the capability to learn all branches.’

‘I don’t understand, why were you with Ollivander? Is there something wrong with your wand?’ Remus asked, frowning.

‘No… Okay let me start from the beginning.’ I took a breath and told Remus about my morning with Ollivander and about my wand. It was difficult to explain some of the things I had been told, but Remus listened with patience.

‘You want to look at your soul?’ He asked and I nodded. ‘Angelina, you realise this is something most people would be terrified of? Most people wouldn’t want to see what was inside them, in case they see something incredibly dark. Aren’t you even a little bit scared?’

I sighed. ‘I feel different. Since Reykjavik I feel… Like I don’t know who I am anymore, like something inside me has been… Unlocked. I used to know who I was, someone who wanted to learn, to ask questions and discover. But now… There's so much I’m discovering, about everything. I don’t know if I’m capable of handling these things anymore, I don’t know if I’ll ever have the right words to tell you how I feel and I don’t know if I can allow you to wait for that. But I know what I can do, I can go to Tibet and I can find myself, I can find out who I really am, if I’m as special as people keep saying or if I’m just someone else trying to find their way. Do you understand what I’m saying?’

‘I do.’ Remus nodded. ‘But the decision to wait for you to work things out isn't yours to make, it's mine. I understand that you want to find out who you are, I understand you're confused about the way you do or don't feel, but I made the choice to wait for you for as long as you needed and I stand by that decision. That was my choice, not yours.’ Remus looked slightly more broken than he was before and I wondered why. ‘Angelina, you say you feel like something has been unlocked inside you and I have to agree, you're more agitated since we got back and I'm worried the Lights had a severe effect on you as well. I'm sorry I took you there and risked everything we have built up, it was a mistake to put your life in such danger, but maybe something positive came out of it. You responded best to my being calm when talking about things I'd rather have not talked about, such as the minister and when you suggested the notion of my transforming when the Lights are out.’

‘I noticed you didn't freak out over it too much.’ I nodded, remembering vividly the conversation.

‘No, I didn't.’ Remus smiled. ‘And you accepted that I could never do that with you around, I didn't need to remind you how dangerous it could be, or worry about the things you might go and do by yourself. I think you enjoy my being calm and straight forward with you.’

I could feel my cheeks, beginning to go pink.

‘What are you thinking about?’ Remus asked, with a slight frown.

‘Nothing.’ I cleared my throat. 

‘It was the conversation about what you did during your sleep, wasn't it?’ Remus had begun to go pink as well. ‘One of the much more enjoyable aspects of the weekend I have to admit.’ I could help but smile slightly. 

‘I want us to have an honest conversation.’ I said, staring into the fire. ‘One where we can say things to each other that are true and real and no one has to trip over words or feel embarrassed and everything will be fine. But I can't do that, neither of us can.’

‘Says who?’ Remus leaned forward as well and we were much closer together. ‘Angelina, we can be as honest as we want to be, we just have to be brave with ourselves… What do you want to talk about?’

I took a breath. ‘So much. I want to know why you enjoyed what I did, I don't really understand the appeal. But I don't want to ask the question, because I'm still embarrassed that I even did it in the first place. I want to talk about the future we might have, but I don't know what the options are. I want you to teach me things you never could in school, but I'm scared you won't want to… Everything just feels so difficult and I can't understand why.’

Remus sighed and gave a small smile. ‘I understand. You're not used to things being difficult to process. I can understand why you might feel frustrated and confused about everything, but I'm here to make these things easier for you. That's what relationships are about, when the world gets to be too much or there's something we don't understand, we turn to the people who make us feel best, the people we trust most to help us through… Now, I understand that sex can be a sensitive subject, I'm willing to help you understand these things if that's what you want, I'm also here to tell you, you have nothing in the world to be embarrassed about. You could never be anything but beautiful to me, no matter what you do, or how you feel you look, you will always be beautiful to me.’ I could feel myself smiling at how good Remus could make me feel, just with his words.

‘I'm glad you think that.’ I said.

‘I do, with all my heart.’

We sat for a few more moments, just watching each other and sipping our tea, it was nice, just being in his company was nice.

‘You love me.’ I suddenly said, part of me not meaning to.

‘Yes.’

‘Do you think I love you? The same way I mean?’ I asked, Remus shifted and took a breath thinking about the answer he'd give.

‘I hope so,’ he admitted. ‘But I've never been in a position where someone loves me like that, so I can't say for certain. I can say, you have strong feelings for me, enough to let me kiss you and to allow me to sit alone in a room with you and talk about things only people who are very close talk about. But that's all I can say for certain.’

I thought for a moment and in all honesty I'd let him do more than just talk and kiss me, maybe that was what love felt like.

‘What does it feel like?’ I asked, not quite meeting his eye at first, before being brave and looking Remus straight in the eye.

‘It's too complicated to describe.’ Remus shook his head. ‘All I know is that if you do love me, it will become very obvious all of a sudden. Someone will say something, they will do something and you will know exactly how you feel.’

‘How can you know that?’

‘Because that's the way your mind works.’ Remus half laughed. ‘I've spent the last eight years watching you grow and develop and the one thing that has always been clear, is the fact you are extraordinarily intelligent, but your ability to assess social situations quickly and with precision has always been lacking. Instead you let it sit in the back of your mind for a while until it suddenly becomes clear.’ I frowned slightly, wondering how he could possibly know how it felt for me to assess social situations, but he was right. ‘I can teach you to assess quicker and learn what the right choices are, if that's something you want. I can't teach you magic anymore, because I'm afraid you probably know more than myself now, but maybe I can offer something different?’

‘What?’

‘Me.’ He said, softly. I could something sitting behind his eyes, something I'd seen flickers of before. ‘I can be anything you need me to be, if you need someone to motivate you to do better, or to advise you on dangerous places, to be there for you when you're upset or confused, to tell you what something someone said means, I can do these things for you… I just can't lose you.’

‘You really don't want me to leave do you?’ I suddenly realised what this conversation was really about, he wanted me to stay, he wanted me to be with him and not to make the decision too quickly.

‘Of course I don't, I won't stop you though, but just stay for a little longer, let's spend a little time together and once Christmas is over, if you feel the same, then I'll only encourage you to do what you think is right.’ Remus begged. ‘But please, don't leave me so quickly.’

I wasn't quite sure when this had turned into a conversation about my choice to stay or go, but it seemed Remus really wasn't keen on my leaving so soon.

‘Okay.’ I said. ‘I won't leave until after Christmas. If that's what you want.’ Remus seemed to deflate somewhat. ‘I can give you that.’

‘Thank you.’ He breathed. 

We sat for a few moments just thinking on the conversation we'd had and one thing was very obvious. ‘I don't feel like myself anymore.’ I said and Remus gave a small smile.

‘I know,’ he nodded. ‘I didn't feel very much like myself when we got back, but I feel better now, just give it time.’

‘How much time?’ I half laughed. ‘It's so frustrating, it's like I'm on high alert constantly.’

‘What do you mean?’ 

‘Like… like before we went away, I was curious and I could concentrate on anything I liked, but now I feel like there's too much to focus on and I keep getting distracting by things.’ I sighed. ‘I was reading, last night, I had my book out and I was reading about something. I don't even remember where I started, but a word caught my attention and I kept jumping from book to book looking things up and learning everything, but it still didn't feel like quite enough. All day I've been resisting the urge to pick up my book again and research the tree. I feel… awake.’

Remus just watched me for a moment and that deep set frown began to make an appearance. ‘You feel like this now?’ 

‘Not so much now.’ I shook my head. ‘You've always been good at keeping me calm, I don't feel like I need to rush off to the library, I feel like it can wait until we’re finished.’

Remus smiled slightly, but his smile was off. ‘I'm sure this will pass, like I said, I can be anything you want me to be, so if you feel like you need to stay for a while, you can.’

‘I'm not sure what I need.’ I laughed. ‘I thought I needed to go to Tibet, but you've convinced me to wait a while.’ The truth of it was I'd never felt so grounded, Remus did something to me that kept me calm, under control and focussed. Maybe that was love. 

‘Lets have an honest conversation.’ Remus suddenly said and I could help my frown. ‘I spoke with Dumbledore after we got back, mostly discussing what had happened, but he wanted to tell me something I feel you should know.’ Remus took a breath, but before he could continue, a letter flew from the fire and landed on his desk. We both looked at it, a little startled.

Remus quickly stood up and opened it. I caught a glimpse of the writing, but didn't recognise it. 

‘It’s Clara.’ Remus’s voice cracked slightly. ‘She’s been attacked. I have to go to St Mungo’s.’ He said and I stood up, hoping I could do something, but not really knowing what it was I should have done. ‘I’m sorry, Angelina. I have to see if she’s okay.’

‘I’ll come with you.’ I told him. I knew from the amount of times I’d been in the hospital wing that waking up to people around me was so much better than waking up alone. I grabbed my long coat and turned to see Remus hunched over his desk, desperately trying not to cry. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Yes, yes… I just… Angelina.’ He said and I could a helplessness that I had never seen before. I strode over to him and held Remus close. It was at that exact moment he broke down in tears and put more weight on me than I was ready for. I held him steady and waited for him to calm down. ‘I’m sorry.’ He said, regaining his breath.

‘Don’t be.’ I said and gently pulled away to see him. ‘Don’t be sorry, ever. Let’s go.’ I took his jacket and cloak and opened the door to find Dumbledore striding up the stairs to Remus’s office. 

‘Miss Lockwood.’ He said and stood in the doorway watching both myself and Remus. ‘Remus, I trust you are on your way to St Mungo’s.’

‘Yes, we were just leaving.’ He said and began putting his green-grey jacket on and wiping the last of his tears away. ‘Do we know anything more?’

‘Nothing, Alistair is still searching the house.’ Dumbledore kept it brief and it was suddenly obvious that they were not revealing too many details for a reason, I was standing in front of them. 

‘I’ll wait outside.’ I said, feeling a flood of anger surge through me as I left the office. There was no reason I shouldn’t know what had happened, she was my friend as well. 

‘Angelina,’ I heard Remus call just as I got to the classroom door. ‘I’ll explain everything once we know she’s okay, I promise, just wait for me.’ I didn’t know what to do so I just nodded and waited outside the classroom.

 

‘Has Darren been told?’ Remus asked, heading back into his office to find his scarf.

‘He’s on his way from Japan now.’ Dumbledore had that tone Remus knew only too well.

‘I can’t break my promise to her, not at a time like this.’ He tried to have a sense of finality about his words. 

‘I’m not asking you to, but I will warn you against it. You’re right, she is fragile and there is no telling how she will react.’ Dumbledore had a grave look about him, like a man who did not know what he was about to do next. ‘This may well be the first of much greater tests to come. Angie cannot make the wrong choice here, Remus. You must help her see what the right path is.’

Remus wrapped his scarf around his neck and began adjusting his cloak. He knew what he needed to do where Angelina was concerned, but it didn’t do anything to dull the pain he felt at the prospect of losing Clara. He had endless patience, he could wait for an opportune time to make clear the consequences of hurting one of his friends, Angelina had not yet learnt how to do that.

‘I’ll keep you updated on her progress and that of Angelina’s.’ Remus said and left his office, striding quickly out of the classroom to find Angelina talking with Erin.

‘…I can’t wait to start on boggarts, I heard you fought one in your second year?’ Erin had said excitedly. Remus could see Angelina becoming slightly uncomfortable with the attention, the same way she had been when she had emerged from the lake and been found by a few of his first years.

‘Well, yeah, I did, but it was in a very controlled environment and I was never in any real danger. I don’t suppose it counts as fighting.’ She frowned and glanced away, trying to find a way to end the conversation.

Remus quickly composed himself properly and put a smile on. ‘Erin, it’s getting very late, shouldn’t you be heading off to bed?’

‘Sorry, professor, I was just going there now.’ She said and looked a little guilty before turning away to head off towards the Hufflepuff common room. 

Angelina looked very grateful and they began walking from the castle.

‘So, that was Erin?’ She said as they got to the stone steps leading out.

‘Curious, isn’t she?’ Remus chuckled. ‘She’s usually quite shy, not one for entertaining strangers, but I suppose she recognised you from your picture.’

‘My picture?’

‘The one in the trophy cabinet, its of you winning the Triwizard Cup. Didn’t you know it was there?’ Remus frowned and watched as she shook her head. He realised at that moment just how wrapped up in her own world she really was, it wasn’t a bad thing and in fact he admired that she was able to block out so much negativity, but he was very aware that she was also blocking out a lot of positivity at the same time. ‘It takes place of pride for the school, in the centre so that the next generation of witches and wizards can see just what is possible to achieve if they put their minds to it.’ 

‘It’s…’

‘Overwhelming?’ Remus offered and she nodded. ‘I’m not surprised, it is a staggering achievement.’

They walked in silence for a few moments while Angelina thought on what Remus had said, that was before she gave a familiar sigh of defeat and got back to the situation at hand. ‘What happened to Clara?’

Remus cleared his throat and wondered where to start. ‘Clara works at the ministry in the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, she specialises in the Being Division in Werewolf Support Services, though she works more closely with the Aurors when there’s been an attack and with my father who works in the same department. The letter said that they were working when a message came through to say that there had been another attack… there was something else in the letter, a piece of dark magic designed to at the very least fatally wound her.’

‘I don’t understand, why would someone want to hurt her?’ Angelina asked as they reached the gates.

‘Because of what she is,’ Remus sighed. ‘People still fear her… and me and even Erin. Some people would go to untold lengths to eliminate people like us.’

Angelina just watched him for a moment and he waited for her to say something. She suddenly wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. Remus slid his hands around her waist and just felt her absorb everything. ‘I’m so sorry.’ She whispered. ‘I’d never let anyone hurt you, ever.’

Remus had the distinct impression that this was it, this was the first test, this was the moment that would decide everything. She wasn’t going to let anyone hurt him, but the way in which she did that would be the one thing that would tip the balance between light and dark.

‘Angelina.’ Remus pulled away, but never strayed far. ‘I couldn’t keep myself together tonight because I fear for the future. I cried because I fear for our future, if there is one, if it’s happy and I desperately want us to be happy and safe. I only ask one thing, that no matter what happens, no matter what anyone asks you to do or says to you, I will always want you happy and safe. You can always trust me, even if I think I cannot trust myself, you know me. You understand me in ways that no one else can and I promise you, I am the one person in this world you can trust above everyone else… do you understand what I am saying?’ Remus searched her deep blue eyes and saw a flicker of understanding, it was there for just a fraction of a second, but he hoped that would be enough.

‘There’s something wrong with me isn’t there? You can see it.’ She said and pulled away a little further.

‘No, no there isn’t. You are simply frustrated and confused and that’s okay.’ Remus didn’t let go of her hand. ‘You’re upset because Clara got hurt and you’re frustrated because of what happened in Iceland, but there is nothing wrong with you. Once we’ve seen Clara and made sure she is okay, we’ll talk about this in depth. I’ll tell you what Dumbledore said to me and I’ll answer everything as best I can.’ She wasn’t sure, Remus could see it. ‘Angelina, please, I love you with all my heart, please just give me time to prove it… please.’

She took a moment to process everything, before nodding. ‘Let’s go and see Clara.’ She said and gently tightened her grip on Remus’s hand before they apparated to St Mungo’s.


	22. The Technicality Of A Promise

St Mungo’s was buzzing as it usually was. I could see people rushing in and out of the doors and trying to get to the places they needed to be. Remus didn’t let go of my hand, he had begged me with everything to trust him and I did, I really did, it wasn’t him I didn’t trust. It was the rage inside of me that I couldn’t quite control. 

We found our way to Clara’s room and found Benji and Jack arguing over something with Alistair and my mother. Remus simply ignored them and went straight to Clara’s bed, she was sleeping and looked like she was in pain. Remus had finally let go of my hand, but made sure I was close. I just watched the argument carry out before my father came in.

‘Everyone out!’ He roared. ‘This is a hospital, take your arguments out of this room, now!’ I’d never seen my father shout like that, but it seemed my mother had as she simply ushered everyone out of the room and somewhere more appropriate. My father was carrying a small cauldron and a woman with red hair followed soon after. ‘Remus, Angie, I’ll need you to step away for a moment, this won’t be pleasant, but it needs to be done. Lily do you have the dressings?’

Remus took my hand again and led me out of the way to watch as my father gently poured a thin blue liquid onto each deep cut on Clara’s body. The woman known as Lily then quickly muttered an incantation before putting fresh bandages around her. I could feel Remus wanting to do anything but stand there and watch helplessly, but I wasn’t sure what I should have done. 

‘Maybe we should see if we can help the others?’ I suggested and it seemed to snap Remus out of his trance.

‘Sorry, yes… yes, we should see if we can help.’ He nodded, but I wasn’t entirely convinced he wanted to do that either. We got out of the room and followed the shouting to find that Benji was nearly roaring at Moody.

‘So we do nothing?! That’s your plan?!’ Benji shouted.

‘Do you have a better alternative that does not include accusing high ranking members of the ministry of attempted murder?!’ Moody growled back.

‘Maybe that’s something that needs to be done.’ Jack cut in. ‘If she thinks she can get away with murder once she’ll do it again.’

‘Darren.’ My mother distracted everyone’s attention and the arguing stopped. Darren had walked through the doors, he was soaked through.

‘I got here as quickly as I could.’ He panted. ‘Is she okay?’ 

‘Your father is doing his best right now.’ My mother held him tight. ‘She’ll survive.’

I frowned and turned to Remus who was still distracted. ‘Why is Darren here?’ I asked quietly so that no one except Remus could hear me. 

He snapped back again and blinked. ‘He and Clara have started seeing each other, it’s a very recent development, but not one we didn’t see coming. He didn’t tell you?’ I shook my head. ‘He might’ve been waiting for the right time? Or possibly thought he was making it obvious enough?’

‘Angie.’ Darren breathed in relief and I was suddenly caught in a death hug from my brother. ‘I’m so glad you’re here. Have you seen here? How is she?’

‘Erm…’ I stuttered a little taken back. ‘She was sleeping when I saw her, it was only brief before we left dad to it.’

‘Do you think I should go up?’ He asked and I couldn’t possibly fathom why he was asking me. I tried to think about what the right answer was. I felt bad when Remus was there, it was his friend that was hurt and if Darren had something more than friendship for her then maybe it wasn’t such a good idea.

‘Maybe, we should wait until dad comes down to tell us she’s okay.’ I said and Darren nodded. ‘Come on, let’s sit down.’ I guided him and Remus to sit down in the waiting area and got them both some water before heading over to where the arguing was still going on, but much more quietly. ‘What happened?’ I asked.

There was a shared look and my mother was about to speak before Benji cut in. ‘We think Umbridge got someone to send a cursed object to Clara in order to either possess her or kill her, it seems neither happened and we’re not sure why.’

Moody and my mother just looked at him shocked.

‘There’s no point in lying to her.’ He shrugged. ‘Angie, we can’t prove it was Umbridge and we can’t exactly walk up to her and accuse her of anything either.’

‘Why Umbridge? What makes you think it was her?’ I asked.

‘Because she hates anything that isn’t “pure bred”.’ Jack spat. ‘She’s a repulsive woman who thinks Clara is less than she is, just because she’s a werewolf.’

‘But why now? What’s the point of attacking Clara now, she’s been working at the ministry for years.’ I still didn’t get it, there was no point to attacking Clara, she was good at her job, she kept to herself and didn’t cause anyone any problems.

‘Remus?’ An older man with sandy hair and familiar blue eyes limped in, he was just as tall as Remus and he seemed to pour kindness the same way Remus did.

‘Dad.’ Remus breathed and stood up to embrace the older man. That was Remus’s father, it was hardly surprising that he looked just like Remus, but he looked so much more tired than his son. Remus guided his father to the seat he previously occupied and I could hear them talking quietly to each other.

‘Lyall, he spoke out of turn apparently,’ my mother explained quietly. ‘But Kingsley and Benji were there and told me he didn’t say a word, he has a cold and sneezed when Umbridge made some idle comment about werwolves. She didn’t take too kindly to it and started laying into him a bit, Kingsley had to step in before it got out of hand.’

‘He’s one of the kindest people I’ve ever met.’ Benji nodded. ‘Regardless of anything, he didn’t deserve to be treated like that. It was unnecessary.’

‘It was, but there’s nothing to be done about it,’ Moody spoke up. ‘What’s happened has happened, we just need to deal with it as best we can and move on. We can’t upset Umbridge right now, she’s in a position to do some real damage to the Aurors department and we can’t let that happen.’

That seemed to be the end of the argument and Moody moved away along with my mother and Jack. I looked at Benji and he confirmed what I was thinking, it wasn’t right and something needed to be done.

I sat next to Darren and to my surprise he whispered to me quietly. ‘Whatever you’re planning, I want in.’ I frowned at him. ‘I know that face, I used to make it all the time. Someone’s hurt Clara and I want to find out who and make them pay, you’ve got a plan, I can see it and I want to be a part of it. Just give me the word.’ I just looked at my brother, I’d never seen him angry before, but it was more than that, it was something I didn’t recognise. 

I glanced over at Benji who seemed to be thinking deeply about something. 

‘Angelina.’ Remus suddenly begged me, he quickly looked around the room and took my hand to a quiet corner. ‘Please, whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t. Alistair is right, Umbridge is in a very good position to do real damage, she has a lot of influence in several votes that are about to be passed and if she suspects an attack is coming, a lot of people will get hurt and I can’t imagine anything worse.’

‘What about your dad? Benji said he’s the kindest man he’s ever met.’ I sighed, frustrated. ‘I can’t just sit here and do nothing. She can’t do this to people and expect to get away with it, there are consequences to her actions and someone has to stand up and tell her that.’

‘Angelina, please!’ Remus said, this time it was much more desperate. ‘You could go to Azkaban, you could get hurt and you could die if you choose to peruse Umbridge like this. Do you have any idea of what that would do to me?’ It was suddenly clear for just a fraction of a second that if I did anything to Umbridge that Remus would break. He would lose me and I understood for a fraction of second what that might have felt like and it was unbearable agony. I looked over to my brother and imagined that he must have been feeling something very close to that.

‘Your heart would break.’ I said. ‘Like Darren’s is.’

‘Yes, yes that’s it!’ It was almost relief. ‘That’s exactly right. It would kill me to lose you.’

‘Why are you happy about that?’ I frowned.

‘I’m not,’ he shook his head. ‘I’m just happy you worked it out on your own. Its progress.’ Remus explained. This must have been the complicated feeling Jocelyne had spoken to me about once. ‘You promise you’ll stay away from Umbridge?'

I sighed, not exactly happy, but nodded anyway. ‘I promise.’ 

Remus deflated somewhat and I watched his eyes go slightly dark, before kissing me gently. ‘Thank you.’ He pulled away and half smiled.

‘So, this must be Angie?’ A voice came from behind me. Remus suddenly went very red and we realised that half the room was watching us out the corner of their eyes.

‘Yes, this is Angelina Lockwood.’ Remus introduced me to the Healer that had been in the room with Clara and my father. He kept me close and wrapped his arm around my waist, letting me know everything was okay. ‘Angelina, this is Lily Potter, James’s wife and one of my best friends from school.’ Remus introduced me and I had no idea what to do.

‘Pleasure to finally meet you Angie.’ Lily said and held out her hand for me to shake, I took it tentatively. ‘Though I wish it were under better circumstances. She’s sleeping just now, but you and Darren are very welcome to go and see her.’ Lily said to Remus who cleared his throat.

‘Darren can go in first, I need to talk to Angelina about something.’ Remus said and Lily happily obliged, she took Darren up to see Clara and Remus took me down a corridor so he could once again kiss me. ‘Angelina, I have to be with Clara right now, but please remember your promise to me. Whatever you do, do not go looking for Umbridge.'

‘I won’t. Remus, I promised I won’t, I’m not going to find Umbridge.’ I could feel a small amount of rage flaring up, it was as if he didn’t trust me. ‘Go and see Clara, I’ll be here if you need me.’ I leaned up and kissed him deeply to further prove that I wouldn’t break my promise. 

He eventually went in after Darren and I was left in the waiting room with everyone else. My father had come out and was talking with Lily and Lyall. Benji was still thinking deeply. ‘So what’s your plan?’ I asked.

Benji chuckled a little. ‘Finding Umbridge and proving she was the one that had the curse sent. She’d spend the rest of her life in Azkaban for what she did and she’d still get off easy in my book.’

‘She didn’t send it herself?’ 

Benji shook his head. ‘No, she’s too smart for that. She would’ve had someone else do her dirty work.’

‘Any ideas who?’

‘A couple.’ He nodded. ‘But I can’t go after any of them without back up, it’d be too dangerous to go alone.’

‘What if I came with you?’ I felt a small amount of guilt build up, but I wasn’t breaking my promise and I wasn’t going to hurt anyone, I was just going to help Benji capture a dark witch or wizard. Benji frowned. ‘Who’s on your list? Let’s try and eliminate possibilities and only go after the one we think it will definitely be. I know a spell that can tell if they’ve used a curse recently.’

‘There’s a spell for that?’

‘I haven’t actually used it, but I know the basic principle, it's just a detection spell.’ I explained, remembering something I’d read the night previously about dark magic. ‘We’re just going to make an arrest Benji, like you said, we can’t get close to Umbridge, but we can send a loud message.’

It took Benji a moment or two to think, but eventually he nodded. ‘Just let me think for a while and narrow the list down. Moody is looking at us, you’d best make yourself scarce.’ Benji cleared his throat. ‘I’m sure they’ll be fine.’ He said just a touch louder so that no one would think we had been talking about anything suspicious. 

‘Thanks.’ I said and sat down in the seat Darren had previously occupied. I was vaguely aware that my father and Lily were glancing at me. 

‘Angie.’ Lily said a little cheerfully. I turned to see her smiling slightly. ‘I don’t think you’ve met Remus’s father, Lyall.’ She said and Lyall extended his hand to me, he was every bit as kind as Remus was.

‘It’s a real pleasure Angie.’ He said, his voice was slightly deeper than Remus’s but no less soft. ‘Remus has told me so much about you and the work you’ve done for the werewolf community. You’ve made him very happy.’

I felt another lump of guilt sit in the middle of my chest. ‘I’m glad.’ I said and felt myself looking very awkward. 

‘Angie, why don’t you see if Darren and Remus are okay?’ My father made the save and Lily simply smiled to herself. I stood up awkwardly and wandered up to the room Clara was in. I could hear someone rushing up behind me.

‘Angie.’ It was Benji and Jack. ‘We know who it might be.’ Benji panted. ‘Igor Karkaroff. They were seen talking last week and Karkaroff looked uncomfortable according to Arthur Weasley, he works at the ministry and sometimes gives Kingsley information on things he sees, comes in fairly useful actually.’

‘And we owe Karkaroff for what he did when he was at Hogwarts during the Tournament.’ Jack added. ‘Are you coming? We have to leave now if we’re going to do this.’

‘He’s right, someone will notice we’re gone and come looking for us and with Moody’s eye, he’ll already know we’re together and be telling everyone now.’ Benji agreed. I looked at the both of them and felt the guilt get to me big time.

‘Where are we going?’ I asked, swallowing.

‘The ministry first, I need to find out where he’ll be, probably back at Durmstrang, but he might be hiding out somewhere.’ Benji said and he and Jack were already walking back down the stairs. He turned back when I didn’t follow. ‘Angie, we have to leave now if we’re going to do this.’ He urged.

‘I’ll meet you at the ministry.’ I said. ‘I can’t leave without seeing Darren and Remus. I’ll be right behind you.’ I promised and Benji nodded heading down the stairs, it took Jack another moment but eventually he followed.

I took a breath and composed myself before heading up the stairs. I walked in to find Remus and Darren exchanging friendly words, but both looked worn down.

‘Remus.’ I said quietly, hoping I didn’t disturb Clara who was still sleeping. Remus immediately stood up and wandered over to me.

‘Are you alright?’ He asked and held my hands, making sure I really was alright.

‘I’m fine.’ I nodded. ‘Are you?’

‘Better than I was.’ He said honestly.

I took another breath. ‘You know I can’t just sit and do nothing.’ I hoped he would understand. ‘Benji, Jack and I are going to find Karkaroff, Benji is pretty certain its him and I know a spell that can prove if he’s used an illegal curse recently.’

‘Angelina-‘ I could see Remus about to beg me to stop.

‘I have to do something.’ I interrupted. ‘Please understand that I feel responsible, she only managed to get that job because of the effects of the wolfsbane, Umbridge attacked her because I helped her to live a normal life. I have to help her protect that life, I’m not going after Umbridge, I’m not going to break my promise, but this is something I can do.’

Remus stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. ‘Let me come with you.’

‘No, absolutely not.’ I said firmly. ‘You teach at the school and you’re doing well there, you have to stay with Clara and you have to be here for when I get back. You made me that promise.’

He took my hand and brought it up to his mouth, kissing my knuckles and trying hard not to say anything. ‘Angelina.’ He begged.

‘I’ll come back, I’ll come back to you, I promise.’ I said and made Remus look at me. I leaned up and kissed him deeply again. ‘I’d do anything you asked of me, Remus, let me do this for you. Please just trust that I am capable of this and this is the right thing to do.’

Remus let his breath go and kissed me again. ‘Go, before I stop you.’ He said quietly and I looked to Darren who was holding Clara’s hand and close to tears. I couldn’t take him with me, it would have been too dangerous for him. I quickly turned and sprinted as hard as I could out of the hospital, avoiding the floor that had Moody on it. I apparated straight to the ministry lobby and found Jack, Benji, Tonks and Kingsley running towards me.

‘We’ve got it, we know where he is.’ Benji said and without skipping a beat we ran towards the exit, apparating to the hide out Karkaroff was last seen at. I gave Kingsley a brief look before we apparated.

‘You think I'm going to let you go alone?’ He asked, with a slight smirk on. ‘You're mother would kill me if I let her children get hurt and I've met Jocelyne.’ I smiled a little knowing how intimidating both women could be.

We apparated to a darkened street, it looked muggle and it was going to make this so much harder. 

‘Wands up.’ Kingsley whispered. ‘Stay behind me. Jack and Angie stay close to Benji and Tonks, don't let them out of your sight.’ 

We wandered down the street, keeping our wands out subtlety and searched for the right house, I could feel my wand pulling me towards a house on the left of the street. I slowed down a little to look at it, it looked like every other house, but I got the distinct feeling that there was something dark inside.

‘Angie.’ Benji whispered. I didn't turn straight away, not until he came over to me and began to pull me away. ‘Come on, Kingsley says it should be up here.’

I began walking away from the house, but the pull was getting stronger. There was definitely something in that house. ‘Benji, he's in there.’ I said. ‘I don't know how I know, I just do. At the very least there's something dark in there.’ 

Benji stopped and looked at me, I could see him working through what I had said.

‘We should follow Kingsley.’ Benji said quietly, he guided me towards where everyone had stopped to wait. 

‘What's the hold up?’ Kingsley asked.

‘Angie thinks Karkaroff is in the house down there.’ Benji briefly explained, I could feel the pull so strongly now, there was something very dark inside that house. Kingsley seemed to be thinking very hard about something. 

‘Then let's find out.’ He said and without skipping a beat walked past the four of us back to the house. Jack gave me and odd look while Tonks rushed after Kingsley, pulling Jack with her. I didn't dare look at Benji, he'd always had a temper and I didn't want to test him any more.

The house didn't look different to any other house around it, it simply stood plainly and gave no indication that there was anything unusual about this particular stone house. But I could feel it, I could feel something dark inside. Kingsley lit up his wand and began muttering something. 

‘He's looking for traces.’ Tonks whispered to us. ‘It's how we tell if dark magic has been used in this area.’ 

‘Angie, are you okay?’ Jack asked and I suddenly felt light, like I wasn't being taken over by anything dark anymore, I could still sense the darkness inside the house, but I didn't feel it's anger anymore, I didn't feel like it was pulling me quite as hard. I loosened my grip on my wand and swallowed.

‘I'm fine. Just anxious.’ I didn't lie exactly, I was anxious, I was worried it was the wrong house and that I'd caused Karkaroff to escape. 

‘Well Angie, you were right.’ Kingsley said quietly. ‘Dark Magic has been used to protect the door, we won't be able to get in without alerting him to our presence, unless you've got anymore bright ideas?’ It seemed a genuine question directed at me. I just blinked unsure of how to respond. ‘You knew there was something inside, maybe you can sense a way to get past the door as well?’

I didn't know what to say, I didn't use dark magic, it was a promise I'd made years ago to my father, to never use it, ever. I stepped up to the door and lifted my wand just enough to feel the pull getting just a little stronger, like my wand wanted to get inside desperately. I gently let the tip of my wand rest on the door and concentrated hard on what I wanted to do. ‘We need to get through.’ I barely made a noise, but I could feel the darkness on the door lift. I watched a small ripple graze over the door and turned back to see Kingsley giving an odd look.

‘How did you do that?’ Jack asked, still keeping his voice low. I shook my head, I didn’t have an answer for him. 

‘We’ll take it from here Lockwood, you and Jack wait here.’ Kingsley ordered and the three Aurors carefully wandered inside the house. Jack and I waited in silence for maybe twenty minutes before we heard anything. It sounded like a struggle, like people were falling over and shouting. That was before I could see Karkaroff running towards us in fear. Jack went to pull me back and just as he did I fell backwards over the cobbled road.

‘Angie!’ I heard Kingsley call. Everything seemed to slow down, I could see the three Aurors running after Karkaroff who was trying to escape the house; Jack was rushing back to help me up and there was a moment of clarity. It was crystal clear what I had to do. Karkaroff couldn’t be allowed to escape.

I stood up and pointed my wand at his chest, I wanted him to stop and that was exactly what happened. Karkaroff stopped and I had never felt the pull of darkness so strongly. Benji rushed out and confiscated his wand, I could feel everyone watching me.

‘Let go Angie, we’ll take it from here.’ Kingsley said and it seemed to take more of an effort but I stopped. I let Karkaroff go and Kingsley made the arrest. ‘We should go.’ He said, much more firmly and pressed his wand to Karkaroff who seemed unable to speak. We rushed back to the end of the road where we had apparated to in the first place and soon the ministry reception was surrounding us again.

 

Remus wasn’t usually one for pacing, but he couldn’t help it, he needed to keep himself busy while he waited for Angelina to come back. He kept arguing with himself over and over again that he shouldn’t have let her go, that he was so irresponsible for doing so. Darren was angry with him for not telling him sooner, but Remus knew he’d eventually understand why and maybe even thank his sister for not letting him do something he’d regret.

Remus enjoyed the fact that Clara and Darren had found each other. He never asked about her feelings towards Darren, but any time he was mentioned in conversation she would always have a very faint pink blush that was unmistakable to Remus. He hoped she had more luck with Darren than he did with Angelina in terms of communication.

They waited for nearly an hour before Remus’s father came in. Remus automatically gave him a chair to rest in.

‘Are you alright?’ Remus asked once his father was settled.

‘Are you?’ Lyall half laughed. Remus gave a small smile and shook his head. ‘Well, George and Lily have done their best, Clara will be fine in a few days, she doesn't have much to do at work and I can cover her in the meantime. Is the boy okay?’ Lyall gestured towards Darren.

‘Darren,’ Remus nodded. ‘He's upset as you can imagine, angry at whoever did this, but he's dealing with it far better than most would.’ 

‘Better than we would.’ Lyall chuckled to himself and Remus knew what he was talking about. If that had been Angelina, he wouldn't have been able to stop himself from running out of the hospital to find whoever hurt her. ‘So, this girl, Angelina, you’re in love with her?’

Remus sighed and brought another chair over to sit with his father, he had a feeling this would be a long conversation. ‘I am.’

‘I think for the first time in my life, I'm warning you about getting too close, not for her sake, but for yours.’ Remus gave his father a strange look, usually he was the one who his father would warn others against, not for any malicious reason, but because they both knew the possibilities of what could go wrong with his condition. ‘I've heard all the stories around the ministry, the werewolf whisperer, the wolf expert, the tame wolf, the names get less interesting by the day and less creative. I hear the things people say about her, that she will probably be one of the most powerful witches this world has ever seen. I've heard the things you have said about her curiosity, intelligence, bravery, I've heard it all and I can only conclude one thing from all of those rumours, that yes, she is brilliantly clever and brave. But meeting her in the waiting room, there's something more to this woman and I can't quite place my finger on it, but it unnerves me.’

‘It takes a lot of unnerve you.’ Remus half smiled. He knew what his father was saying, Angelina said it herself, that she felt different, maybe she was.

‘Precisely.’ Lyall chuckled. ‘I see it in him as well.’ He gestured to Darren. ‘There's something about the Lockwood children, something different.’

Remus looked towards Darren and frowned, he'd always thought Darren was the more level headed of the two, he was certainly the more sociable and the easier to get along with. Angelina was far more intelligent, but lacked certain qualities that could have made her considered a great celebrity, not that either Remus or Angelina minded. 

The more Remus watched Darren, the more he began to realise it, he had the same frustration Angelina did, not just because of what had happened, but he'd always been like that, even at school, he was a good student who ended up in one too many detentions and towards the end of his time at Hogwarts it had increased. Remus didn't think anything of it at the time, but now he realised he had taken a very similar path to Angelina. It was as if they were both constantly hyperactive and the word ‘alert’ came to mind.

‘You see it now?’ Lyall woke Remus from his thoughts.

‘I see something.’ Remus nodded. ‘When they were at school, they both got bored with the standard curriculum easily, both joined the Quidditch team to stop their misbehaviour, not that it had any sort of impact on Angelina, Darren was slightly more inclined to stay focussed, but towards the end of his time in the castle, he was acting up again… Angelina described the way she felt as alert.’

‘They certainly seem to be.’ Lyall agreed. ‘You see it all the time in people who fear for the future and the safety of people around them. You also see it in some of the darkest witches and wizards our world has ever seen. I don't need to tell you about the light and dark inside us all, the choices we make and the sides we settle on. I've read the papers and Darren seems to be finding his way just fine, I suspect your Angelina is having a much more difficult time distinguishing light from dark.’

‘She's curious about dark magic, there's nothing wrong with curiosity.’

‘No, but when curiosity turns into experimentation, that is when we must act.’ Lyall warned. ‘The Lockwoods have always been a very powerful family, much like our own in the sense that things like non verbal magic comes a little easier, we can learn just a little quicker than most, but there's nothing anymore great about us, I trust you know this.’

‘Of course. Good blood doesn't make you great, but making good choices does, you taught me that.’ Remus remembered the times his father had encouraged him to work past his condition and stay as head strong as he could.

‘And I'm glad to see that my son is becoming a great wizard.’ Lyall poured pride for his son and truthfully it made Remus a little embarrassed, but he was happy his father never lost faith in him. ‘Remus, your mother would have loved to see how happy you are, she would have been very proud of how far you've come.’

‘I miss her.’ Remus admitted, it hadn't been that long, but his mother had passed away very suddenly and it had caught Remus off guard, but he used it as an opportunity to get his life in order, to stop feeling sorry for himself and to live for something much more than himself.

‘I miss her too. I miss how beautiful she was, how brave she was. It's a lot to take in for a muggle, all this magic malarkey, but I was lucky she always had some small belief in magic. She was funny about it as well. Did I ever tell you what she insisted we had on top of our wedding cake.’

‘A boggart, I remember her saying.’ Remus laughed, remembering his mother telling him the story of when she met Lyall. She used it to help Remus sleep when he was young and she was always so animated and excited to tell the stories of her introduction to the magical world.

‘I see so much of her in you, it makes me ache sometimes.’ Remus could see that his father hadn't meant to hurt his feelings and immediately forgave him, but he imagined it must've been hard for his father to live alone for what probably felt like decades now. ‘I'll leave you with this thought. If Angelina is truly special to you, if your love for her is as strong as it can possibly be, then ignore my warnings. You are a good man and have always found a way to make the right choices, no matter how hard they were, you always found a way. I believe with all my heart that you will help her simply by being present in her life. Trust in yourself and trust you can make a difference.’ 

Remus watched his father for just a moment, before embracing him and sighing. ‘Thank you.’ Lyall held his son close and Remus hoped he could feel how much he appreciated his father's words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do we think of the introduction of Remus' father into the series?


	23. There's Something About Angie

The sun was beginning to come up and I was exhausted, but it was over, Karkaroff was being taken to Azkaban for using an unforgivable curse and that was that. There was no way to prove Umbridge was the one who ordered him to send it, but at least it was a small victory. It still didn't feel like quite enough and I felt the urge to go back to that house and figure out what happened. 

I couldn't have used dark magic, I didn't know how, but then there was no other way to get through the door other than knowing the password or the right spell, neither of which I did. So how did it open? Benji had been giving me a strange look the entire time I was at the ministry, it wasn't suspicious, but more not understanding.

As soon as Kingsley had made the arrest I apparated back to St Mungo's, I needed Remus to assure me I wasn't going mad, but I suddenly felt that alertness I had felt when he wasn't around. 

I headed up to the waiting room and found Moody and my mother giving me looks of disapproval, but I couldn't stay and wait for them to tell me off for doing the right thing, I needed Remus. I hadn't even realised that I was running up the stairs to Clara's room, but I was out of breath when I got there.

It had startled Remus and his father who were holding each other and I just leaned against the door frame, feeling myself grow very tired very quickly.

‘Angie?’ Darren stood up in anticipation.

‘Karkaroff is being taken to Azkaban.’ I panted and tried to gulp down more air. ‘We can't prove it was definitely him, but we’re sure enough.’ 

Darren just nodded and sat back down thinking on what I had said.

‘Angelina.’ I turned to Remus who had stood up as well.

‘Remus.’ I breathed and felt myself come back from whatever hold that house had on me. He took a couple of steps towards me and held my shoulders to get a better look at me.

‘What's wrong?’ He asked. Of course he'd know, he always knew.

‘Kiss me.’ I said, unsure of why I needed him to kiss me, but I knew it would settle me once and for all. ‘Please, I need you.’ I begged. Remus searched my face to try and see what was happening, before taking my hand and leading me out of the room to an empty office.

‘Angelina.’ He said, closing the door behind us. ‘What happened out there?’

‘Please Remus!’ I didn't mean to raise my voice, but I needed him. ‘Please, I need you to help me, please.’

This time he didn't hesitate, he took one stride towards me and kissed me hard, I could feel his lean frame pressed against me and it felt so good, it felt calming and like I was finally grounded again, I felt normal. Remus mapped out my mouth with his tongue and let a small moan go, before we both stopped. We tried to catch our breath, never straying too far from each other.

‘Something happened and I'm scared I used dark magic.’ I said quickly. Remus pulled back and watched me. ‘I don't know what happened, we were walking down the street and there was this house that I somehow knew Karkaroff was in and the door was protected by dark magic, but I got it open and then Karkaroff came running out and I made him stop. Remus, I don’t know how I did that.’

Remus just stared at me momentarily, trying to understand what I'd said. He took a breath and stroked his thumb over the back of my hand. ‘Okay.’ He said and took another breath. ‘You knew Karkaroff was in the house?’

‘Well, not exactly… I knew something dark was inside.’ I tried to explain. ‘Like it was pulling me towards the house.’

‘So, you just knew something dark was in there? Did it feel like a person, or maybe a dark object? Or just some dark force?’ Remus asked, trying to understand the feeling.

‘Erm,’ I shook my head trying to remember. ‘Maybe more like a force, the door just felt dark, but what was inside felt malicious.’

‘Right.’ Remus nodded. ‘You opened the door, how exactly… what exactly happened?’

‘Kingsley looked for traces on the door and asked if I had any ideas on how to get through.’ I explained. ‘Which is ridiculous, because I've only ever read things about dark magic, I've never used it, I promise I've never used dark magic for anything-‘

‘I believe you.’ Remus interrupted, seeing that I was panicking slightly. ‘Okay, I believe that you've never intentionally used dark magic, this might just have been a one off occurrence, but let's trace the events and see if we can work it out.’

‘Okay.’ I nodded, he was so calm and it settled me so much. ‘I stepped towards the door and I could feel something, it's hard to describe, but it was like my wand wanted to get inside, like it had to be in that house. I could feel something dark was in there and I was scared.’

‘I can imagine it must have been terrifying.’ Remus nodded and held me for a moment before looking at me and smiling a little. ‘But that’s okay, we can figure this out together. You stepped up to the door and then what happened?’

‘I just tapped my wand to the door and hoped it would open.’ I shook my head. ‘We needed to get inside and that's what I kept telling myself and the door just opened.’

‘So, we can safely assume you used non-verbal magic, there's nothing dark about that Angelina.’ Remus assured me. ‘Did you think about an incantation?’ I shook my head. ‘Then you didn't use dark magic, children do this all the time when they can't channel their magic, they simply think about something they want to do and it happens.’

‘But this felt different.’ I implored, I tried to make him see that this was more than something a child does. ‘This felt… darker than simply wanting a door to open.’

Remus sighed and watched me for a moment. ‘Okay, I believe you that it felt darker, but still using it without knowing you've done it is not the worst thing that could happen-‘

‘I want to go back to that house.’ I interrupted. ‘I want to go back there again and I am terrified… I had to find you because being around you feels better.’

Remus took a moment and sat on the edge of the desk.

‘I'm scared.’ I said and felt my voice crack. ‘I feel wrong inside, like something else is trapped and trying to get out and I'm scared I'm not going to be able to stop it.’

‘Angelina, stop.’ Remus had a quietly commanding tone that I hadn't heard before. He took my hand again and forced me to keep eye contact with him. ‘You are not wrong, nothing inside you is wrong… you're beautiful. We all feel this struggle inside of us, the light versus dark and sometimes it feels like it's too much to handle, but that is when we make the most important choices. Which side we choose to live on. Do we give in to that which is easy or fight against it and follow the harder path? This is the time you make that choice and I can only do so much, I cannot decide for you and I cannot convince you to live on one side or another. If you choose to pursue dark magic then I cannot stop you, but I can tell you that if you choose to fight against it, I will be by your side no matter how hard it seems. There is nothing wrong with you.’ 

I knew he couldn't quite tell if he'd gotten through to me, but he had, the truth was he'd placed a fear in me that I felt I needed. It was that grounded feeling that I loved. 

‘You make me feel normal.’ I croaked. ‘You make me… feel.’ I shook my head. ‘I don't know any other way to say it, I feel like I'm worth something when I'm around you. Does that make sense?’ I looked up to see a very wide smile appearing on his face. ‘What?’

‘I've never believed that was something anyone would say to me.’ Remus admitted. ‘To think I make you feel like that gives me hope for our future. To think that I make you feel the same way you make me feel, it excites me and makes me incredibly happy. The best part is I can see you mean it.’

‘Of course I mean it.’ I almost scoffed at him. ‘I try my hardest to be honest and just say how I feel, because I know you'll know what I really mean and what I'm trying to say… you are the… best, human I've ever met and I can't see why people would fear you. You such a good person.’

‘You're getting better at this.’ Remus stood up and looked down at me, still with a huge grin on his face. ‘You're finding your words much more easily and you're getting braver with it.’ Remus lifted his hand and softly stroked my cheek, it was warm and I just let my eyes close into his touch. I felt his soft lips graze over mine and his body press against me a little more. I could only take so much before I needed more, I needed his mouth to work against mine. ‘I love you, Angelina. Never forget that.’ Remus whispered, before pressing his lips onto mine and giving in to the feeling of being close to me. It was glorious and warm and it grounded me more than ever. 

 

Remus had made sure Angelina made it safely to her father's private room, she was asleep moments before her head hit the pillow and Remus was glad she was finally getting some rest. Lily had been kind enough to offer her room to Darren who had refused to leave in case Clara woke up. He was exhausted as well and it was no use in everyone simply waiting for Clara to get better, they needed to take care of themselves while she slept. 

Remus stood up and went to leave George's room when he heard both George and Anna talking quietly outside.

‘We need to tell them the truth.’ Anna hissed. ‘There's only so long before more people begin to notice something is different about them.’

‘Like who?’ George snapped back. ‘We both knew that Remus would find out sooner or later, but Clara hasn't noticed anything. Not a thing. Darren is irritated and with everything that's happening in his career, one can attribute-‘

‘And what about Angie?’ It was obvious that Anna wasn't going to back down. ‘What has she got going on right now that can cause that level of frustration?... they both have it George! They both carry the-‘

‘That's enough! We don't know for certain. This has never happened before, there's never been two, in all our family there has never been two.’ George implored.

‘No, but what about the prophecies? It was always going to happen, one day two would be born, that's what they promised. That day has come and Angie and Darren-‘

‘We need to stop.’ George had an air of intimidation about his tone. ‘I cannot have passed this onto both of my children, it's simply not possible… but I agree that the time is fast approaching to tell them the truth. We’ll invite Remus and Clara as well, it's only right that they know otherwise I cannot in good conscience allow them anywhere near my children. Remus I have full faith will understand, Clara we have yet to really know. If she does not accept Darren then I cannot not show her any mercy, I will protect my children with everything I have.’

‘I know.’ It seemed that Anna was holding back tears. ‘And I know it's not your fault. I've accepted that and I will always love you regardless, but please try and have patience. For me.’

Remus could hear George's heavy sigh. ‘I'll do my best. Let's go home, we need to rest for a while.’ 

Footsteps could be heard walking away from the door and Remus let out a small breath, he had no idea what he had just over heard but he began to wonder if what Angelina was going through wasn't just post Hogwarts blues.

 

Clara had eventually woken up and for a few days was in immense pain, Darren hadn't left her side and several times representatives from the quidditch team had sent messages to ask whether he was coming back soon. The truth was no one was sure, Angelina had done her best to be a comforting presence, but she was struggling with not knowing quite what to do and when. Remus had given her a little guidance, but needed to get back to the school to teach during the day.

He also wanted to speak to George in private to ask about what he'd overheard but time was running out. Jocelyne and Benji were getting married and Clara looked as if she'd be well enough to attend the ceremony at least, Angelina was getting more and more stressed without Remus beside her, the Auror office had suffered a minor blow from Umbridge for their infraction and neither Darren nor Angelina took it particularly well. They took it as a personal attack.

‘You need to calm down.’ Remus said, he had taken Angelina into George's private room so she could relax a little. But he was exhausted from teaching all day and apparating straight to the hospital had taken the last of his energy. ‘The Aurors office can handle themselves and Kingsley and Benji are doing their best to minimise the damage done.’

‘She shouldn't be able to get away with this!’ She snapped. ‘She can't just do whatever she wants and expect no one to say anything.’

‘Angelina, this is the way the world works-‘

‘It doesn't work!’ She was at boiling point and ready to do something she'd regret. ‘It doesn't work the way it should.’

Remus sighed and stepped toward her, taking her soft hand in his and just trying to keep her calm. ‘Let's just get through this. Let's get through the wedding and Clara's recovery and then we will talk more, but for now, please, just try to stay calm. You and Darren getting yourselves worked up isn't helping Clara get better and it's not helping anyone remain calm.’ She wasn't going to calm down just like that though, he'd noticed a new development in her frustration, that it would visibly disappear when he asked her to calm down, but only actually subside when he offered her something more.

‘Remus.’ She begged. Remus didn't skip a beat, he slid his hand up to cup her face and pressed a kiss to her lips. He could almost feel the anger floating away. She was getting better as well, it was no longer him testing whether she was okay with his tongue delving into her mouth, but rather her inviting him in.

 

‘Angie!’ Anna called, Remus was making sure his bow tie was right in the kitchen. Clara just watched and chuckled to herself a little. ‘Remus is here!’ Anna handed Darren his jacket and smiled as George made sure Clara drank all of the potion he'd given her.

‘Coming!’ Angelina yelled back. 

‘Feel better?’ George asked and stood up taking the empty goblet away.

‘Much, thank you.’ She nodded. Clara wore a silk, dark green dress with long sleeves and Remus thought it made her look especially good. He gave her a gentle smile and continued to adjust his bow tie.

Remus noticed that George and Anna were giving each other strange looks and he wondered if it had anything to do with what he'd overheard. He approached George and gave an awkward smile.

‘George,’ Remus said, a little quietly. ‘I wondered if I might talk to you for a moment?’ He could see the resistance in George's eyes, but he didn't decline. Instead he nodded and took Remus outside to where it was slightly colder, not that it bothered Remus too much. 

‘What can I do for you Remus?’ He asked, Remus could see he was trying to keep things light.

Remus swallowed. ‘I'd like to ask you about something I overheard a few days ago… you and Anna were talking about Angelina and Darren and something you passed onto them? I just wondered if it was something we need to discuss?’

He could see a mixture of things happening on George's face, one part of him suddenly looked pained and another part looked like rage seeping into view behind his clear blue eyes.

‘Remus,’ he started, his voice was much lower than usual and Remus was suddenly very worried for his safety. ‘What you must understand is that Lockwoods have been around since the very beginning of our world. It is imperative that our family is protected at all costs. As for what you overheard, it is something I'd rather discuss at a more opportune time. My children are special beyond anything you've seen and much like most parents I would protect them with everything I have… however, it's not always a good thing.’ George seemed to be struggling with something internal. ‘Adrianna!’ He called. ‘I'm sorry Remus, but you shouldn't have asked me this alone.’ 

Remus frowned as Anna came running out to her husband. George physically deflated and Anna checked he was okay. ‘It's okay, I'm here.’ She said and held him close. ‘Nothing is wrong, you are as you have always been.’ She whispered and Remus felt a sense of familiarity about their routine. 

‘I'm sorry, if I've upset you.’ Remus said, quietly.

‘You haven't.’ It was Anna who spoke. ‘George, I think it's time Remus was told something, not everything, just something… why don't you go in and check Darren is ready, he was having trouble with his tie.’

George smiled and watched Anna for a moment before stroking her cheek and sighing as he left. Anna and Remus were suddenly left very alone. She took a breath and turned to Remus, smiling through her worry.

‘Remus.’ She said. ‘I'm sorry about George. Sometimes he can't help it. I suppose it's a little different with you, but most of your kind… Remus, what do you know about the history of werewolves?’

Remus was more confused than ever and the question seemed to come out of the blue. ‘I know about as much as anyone else.’ He shook his head.

‘That's what I suspected.’ Anna nodded. ‘While we don't have the time to go into any great detail, I feel it's time you know the truth of George's family. Lockwoods have always been and will always be, the original werewolf family. Lockwoods are responsible for the condition in which you suffer.’ 

Remus just watched Anna for a moment, before deciding it was ludicrous. He began chuckling to himself out of disbelief.

‘That… it simply cannot be true.’ He laughed. ‘Angelina would be the same as me if it were.’

‘Remus, I already told you we don't have time to go into detail. But please, this is the truth and while Angie is not a werewolf, she carries a branch of magic that is always passed onto to one child in every generation. However, I believe Darren has it as well, it is why you and Clara have a particular fondness for them that goes beyond love.’

Remus didn't even know where to begin. He had so many questions and so much was left unsaid. But only one thing took over his mind. ‘What's happening to her?’

‘Her family was threatened.’ Anna sighed. ‘Whenever we have been threatened in anyway, George has always changed, he has become somehow more alert and willing to do anything to protect his family. George is exceptionally powerful, you haven't even seen a fraction of what he is capable of, Angie and Darren, I believe are the same. Remus, you taught both my children and maybe only caught a glimpse of how powerful they are, it will be you she turns to, to help her. Please do not discourage her exploring more magic, the more magic she explores, the more protected she will be.’

Anna and Remus suddenly heard talking from within the house.

‘Please, wait until the wedding is over. The time is fast approaching to tell Darren and Angie what they really are and they will need all the support they can get. She will turn to you for help and while I understand that you may feel conflicted, don't run. Angie will get hurt and nothing will stop George from shielding his children from that kind of pain, I'm afraid there's only so much I can do at that point. As long as you are calm, she will be calm, that much has always been certain with George and with the generations before him.’

Remus simply did not know what to do with the information he had just been given, he loved Angelina, he would do anything for her, but if this was true, it could have changed everything.

All his doubts and confusion momentarily disappeared when Angelina stepped down the last step and looked at him with her beautiful ocean blue eyes. Her dress was a dark red with a lace pattern over her shoulders, partially covered by her thick blonde hair, the dress came to her knees and her slender legs slipped into black heels giving her body a more curvaceous shape that caught Remus off guard. He decided it, then and there, that no matter what her family was or wasn't, she was everything he ever desired and more than he ever deserved. She was everything to him and he would stand beside her in the face of everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this taking so long, but I've just finished writing my book which I am hoping to get published soon, (wish me luck) the story is far from over and I hope you are all enjoying it. 
> 
> More chapters are on their way, promise!


	24. The Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is it for this particular instalment. I'll be closing the book as it were and moving onto the next segment in the Lockwood series, so make sure you check back when you can to find out what happens next. I can promise discovery, secrets unfolded, Harry attending Hogwarts, great battles and some harder decisions for the Lockwood clan than there has ever been. 
> 
> Angie will soon discover who she really is and what that means for the survival of her family. The characters will change, they will grow older and wiser and some will change into entire new people, unrecognisable from the first instalment. But I look forward to taking you on this journey with Angie and Remus and I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.

‘Are you sure I look alright?’ I asked Jocelyne. I had been helping her get ready for the wedding, not that I really knew what that involved, mostly just doing whatever she told me, they had decided to have the wedding at Jocelyne’s family home because there was more room there. We were in her old bedroom that was about as big as my own, but it also had a balcony that looked out at the hills nearby, all of them were covered in snow and looked like the perfect backdrop for her wedding, it was then I realised that she was fairly well off. ‘I mean, I know no ones going to be looking at me with you standing there, but I don't want you looking at photos of this and asking why I looked a right mess standing next to you.’

‘Angie,’ Jocelyne spun around as she was adjusting her gorgeous blonde hair that she'd put up in a neat bun. ‘As per usual, you look hot as they come. But right now, I need you to tell me how fabulous I look because I'm starting to panic over my hair.’

I gave a quick glance at her perfectly crafted bun and frowned slightly. ‘What's wrong with it?’

Jocelyne smiled and it was almost endearing. ‘This is why we’re friends.’ Before I could even ask what she meant, she hugged me tight. ‘I love you Angie and I'm so happy you're here.’

‘Where else would I be?’ I chuckled and Jocelyne pulled away. I could see tears filling her eyes. ‘You can't cry, you're not married yet.’ I joked and it pulled a laugh from her. 

‘I just can't believe it's finally happening.’ She whined. ‘I'm getting married Angie!’

‘I know, that's why we’re all here.’ I laughed. ‘I'm getting a lot of mixed signals here, you are happy right? Because your tears are throwing me off.’

Jocelyne took a breath and carefully wiped her tears away, avoiding smudging any make up. ‘I'm happy Angie. I'm so incredibly happy, you'll be crying too when you get married.’ She smiled and turned back to the mirror.

‘I told you before, I'll not be in this position for a long time.’ I guided her beautiful white flowing head piece onto her head and just watched in wonder at how beautiful she really was in her white dress that hugged her curves above her waist and puffed out at the bottom. She looked like royalty.

‘I've seen the way Remus looks at you.’ She said, watching me in the mirror. ‘I don't think it'll be that long.’

Before I had anytime to really comprehend what she had said, an older woman who looked exactly liked Jocelyne came through the door to her bedroom. ‘Oh Jocelyne,’ she croaked. ‘You are perfect.’ I watched as Jocelyne’s mother held her daughter with such pride. ‘We’re ready for you.’ I gave her one last smile before heading down to the kitchen to find Jack and David trying to fix Benji’s tie. 

‘You guys are useless.’ I said pushing past both Jack and David to fix the tie myself. 

‘I don't know why I'm surprised.’ Benji laughed. ‘Thanks Angie.’

‘Anytime.’ I hugged him tight and felt him shaking slightly. ‘Now, go and get married.’ I ordered him, still smiling at my friend. 

The ceremony began and I had stood behind Jocelyne watching two of my best friends get married once and for all. Benji had even shed a tear when he kissed her and I took a breath composing myself and looking to where my parents sat with Darren, Clara and Remus. They were all watching the happy couple, except Remus who kept his gaze firmly on me. I gave him a gentle smile and soon the party had begun.

I sat at a table with Jack, Tonks, David, Cassie, Darren, Clara and Remus underneath a tent in the back garden and we all drank and danced well into the morning hours. Benji and Jocelyne barely left the dance floor, they remained close through their first dance and I had the impression they were in a world of their own. People had begun to leave, including my parents, Daren and Clara. Remus to my surprise was still up for a good time when the sun was coming up. We'd all brought our chairs out to watch the view. 

Benji, with his tie hanging loose around his neck, lifted Jocelyne onto his lap, making her giggle and held her close. Cassie, who I began to remember from school, the girl with curly brunette hair that sat on the table over from me in history of magic, had her bare legs draped over David’s, who was causally dragging his fingers over them. She was just his type as well, she was adventurous, with a feisty attitude and always up for a good prank as far as I remembered. Jack had his arm around Tonks and kept her close to him. 

‘So how's day one of married life treating you?’ David joked, taking a swig of butterbeer. 

‘She's driving me insane already.’ Benji shot back, making Jocelyne laugh and Benji just held her tighter kissing her and still smiling. Remus had handed me another butterbeer and threw another to David as he sat down and took his bow tie off entirely.  
‘I have to say,’ David continued. ‘When you two got engaged, I didn't think I'd be at your wedding drinking our old dark arts professor under the table.’ Everyone ‘ooed’ and laughed a little waiting for Remus's response.

‘Interesting, but I would like to point out that I've had six more butterbeers and two more firewhiskeys than you and I can still walk in a straight line.’ Remus shot back, downing half his bottle of butterbeer.

‘He's got you there.’ Jack said as we again waited to see what David came back with.

‘Well it's hardly fair,’ David argued. ‘He's got a distinct advantage that I don’t.’ David turned his attention to Remus, I could suddenly see that he'd had a lot more than I originally thought. ‘You know, I'm just going to put it out there, you’re a werewolf and from what I know of Angie’s research, there's a lot of positives to that.’ 

I quickly turned to Remus who surprisingly was intrigued and giving a half smile. ‘Okay,’ Remus cleared his throat. ‘I'm an open minded man, present your logic.’ He threw one leg over the other and sat back waiting for David to continue speaking. 

‘One: your temperature doesn't fluctuate like ours does.’ David began and I had to admit, I was fairly intrigued by what he had to say. ‘That means, no freezing to death at the top of mountains or at the North Pole and no boiling alive under the sun. Two: high metabolism, you've always got energy to do things, stamina is high so you can run a marathon every day if you want, never put weight on so you're always ripped,’ even I chuckled at that one. ‘And it means you can drink us mortals under the table barely feeling the effects. And three: your stunning girlfriend, if I may say,’ I rolled my eyes, but felt Remus slide his hand over mine and smile at me. ‘Is the smartest witch I've ever had the misfortune to be friends with and invented a potion that takes away the pain. You're one lucky guy.’

There was a slight pause as Remus stroked my hand a little. ‘Points well made. I am extraordinarily lucky.’ He was looking directly at me and it made my cheeks turn slightly pink. 

We continued to sit until the sun began streaking across the sky and soon it was time for us to leave. Jocelyne and Benji were going on their honeymoon for just over a week and when they came back, we promised to start planning a trip to Italy together. We didn't have any plans for the summer anyway and even Remus was convinced to come with us. It had taken Cassie and Jocelyne, but after a solid hour of resisting, he finally gave in. 

I said my goodbyes to everyone and slid my hand into Remus's as he guided me up the path away from the house. He turned and watched me, getting ready to apparate back home and I suddenly felt a calmness I hadn't felt in a long time.

‘Would you object to my kissing you?’ Remus asked, his eyes were dark and his hand finding its way to my waist.

‘You know you don't need to ask.’ I chuckled.

‘Normally I wouldn't, but your friends are watching us.’ He smiled, finding it especially amusing. I just rolled my eyes and it was indication enough for him to just forget about them. It was soft at first, his hands coming up to my cheeks and holding me close as his lips grazed and then pressed to my own. I suddenly felt the warmth of my room and smiled against him. ‘What?’ He laughed a little.

‘Nothing, I just really enjoyed myself.’ 

‘I'm glad.’ He smiled and soon I could hear him snoring behind me as we slept.

 

Remus felt bad that he wasn't able to take Angelina away somewhere warm after the wedding, but Erin had been hurt in a flying accident and he wanted to make sure she was alright. Angelina understood as per usual and just made him promise to write when he got back to the castle, which he did before rushing to the hospital wing.

‘It wasn't that bad,’ Erin said as Poppy came to check on her shoulder. ‘It was just a bit foggy so it was hard to see.’ She explained. Remus was finishing his letter to Angelina and gave Erin a less than pleased look.

‘Erin, this was my exact concern about you joining the quidditch team,’ he said as kindly as he could. ‘You're going to feel that flare up this month, it won't be too bad as long as you drink your wolfsbane, but it won't be pleasant either.’ 

She had just looked at him, upset about what had happened. ‘I'm sorry.’ She mumbled.

‘I don't need an apology,’ Remus shook his head and leaned forward slightly. ‘But I do need you to tell me you understand that I am only trying to help you.’ 

‘I know, I just… I want to be like everyone else.’ She admitted and it sparked an idea in Remus that surprised him. He knew what Erin was saying, she wanted to be like everyone else and be able to get hurt without repercussions, without fearing what will happen, she wanted to be able to make friends as easily as everyone else and not fear them running away when they found out what she was. Remus knew full well what she was saying.

‘I know, trust me, I know.’ Remus sat back throwing one leg over the other and faintly smiling. ‘I'm sure if there is a way to reduce the flaring during the cycle, Angelina will find it. I'll write to her and see if she has any ideas on the matter.’

‘Really?!’ Erin said, her eyes wide, a little startled.

‘Of course. It's what I'm here for.’ Remus nodded and stood up to leave.

‘But won't she be busy with her research?’

‘Believe me, today she will be free to start looking into things for us.’ Remus smiled remembering he'd left Angelina with a pounding head and in Darren's equally hungover hands.

‘Professor?’ Erin called, just as Remus made it to the end of her bed. He turned and gave her a small smile. ‘Is she your wife?’

Remus was slightly taken back by the bluntness of the question, but soon was trying to contain a grin. ‘Maybe one day Erin. Get some rest, I'll come and check on you in the morning.’ He said and finally left her bedside, thinking on his future with Angelina. He hadn't forgotten what Anna had told him of the Lockwood family, but it somehow seemed irrelevant to him, he loved Angelina and that was the only thing that seemed important.

 

Christmas had washed in quicker than I expected, Darren and I spent the two days before Christmas Day, rushing in and out of Diagon Alley hoping we hadn't forgotten to get presents for anyone.

‘Damn it!’ Darren shouted, I quickly ran into his room, knowing exactly what he was about to say.

‘Uncle Bastian?’ I asked, as Darren finished wrapping the last present.

‘I knew we forgot someone.’ He nodded. I helped him take the last of the presents downstairs and sneak out of the house to grab a couple of presents for Uncle Bastain, he wouldn't be coming over for Christmas, but when he would visit, Darren was taking me to Japan for a few days to finally see him play.

Clara had arrived just as Darren got back, he gave me a quick thumbs up and greeted her. ‘I didn't have time to wrap them.’ He whispered as I was chewing on a mince pie in the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and quickly sorted it out for him.

‘Surprised Remus hasn't shown up yet.’ My mother noted, I looked at the clock which read eight o'clock and frowned.

‘Yeah that is weird, let me check in case he said he was going to be late.’ I grabbed another pie and wandered upstairs to my room, to find Remus had sent a letter a little earlier in the day when Darren and I were rushing around.

 

Angelina,

I'm so sorry, I will be much later than I first thought. Dumbledore has called an emergency meeting, there was an incident with the centaurs and one of the students and we've been asked to help calm the situation.  
I aim to arrive around ten, but I will inform you if it takes longer. Please send my apologies to your family for keeping them and note that I have already sent along a few gifts for everyone.  
Again, I am so sorry that I will be late for Christmas.

Yours   
Remus

‘Something happened with the centaurs and a student.’ I said, wandering back downstairs with my book.

‘Everything alright?’ My dad asked, he'd been making everyone hot chocolate on the stove. 

‘Not sure, he just said he'd try and be here for ten as it's taking a bit longer than expected.’ I shrugged. ‘I'm sure everything's fine.’ I began writing back to let him know that it was fine and we'd see him when he got here.

‘Ten is fine,’ my mother assured me. ‘I'm sure we’ll still be up.’ She gave me a quick kiss on my head and went back to making preparations. 

 

Remus checked his watch and it was fast approaching half past ten, he would need to leave soon, but he didn't want to let Dumbledore down. He'd been asked to watch over Callum the young second year who had provoked the centaurs and caused them to retaliate.

‘Thank you Remus.’ Dumbledore said, approaching the bed in the hospital wing. Remus met him half way. ‘I believe it's been settled. Firenze has been more inclined to listen to reason and will speak to the others on our behalf, there's nothing more to be done tonight.’

‘I presume his parents have been called?’ Remus asked, vaguely aware that he didn't care that much about the answer, he just wanted to see Angelina and apologise again for being so late. 

‘They have and they will be here in the morning.’ Dumbledore nodded.

‘Good. Merry Christmas, Dumbledore.’ Remus smiled and began to walk towards his quarters.

‘Merry Christmas Remus.’ Dumbledore smiled back. ‘It's certainly been an interesting start to the year.’ He called.

‘The only way is up.’ Remus joked and continued to his quarters. He'd barely packed anything, but made sure he wrote to let Angelina know he'd be with them in the next twenty minutes.

He had seen Anna in the kitchen when he arrived and she gave him a quick wave before opening the door for him.

‘There you are, we were getting worried.’ She said kindly and began pouring another mug of hot chocolate. ‘Everything alright with the centaurs?’

Remus sighed. ‘There's nothing more to be done tonight, one of our second year students was in detention and provoked one of the younger ones to flee. I imagine the story is much more extensive than that, otherwise I might not have had to stay. Angelina sent my apologies I take it?’

Anna handed him the steaming mug of chocolate and nodded. ‘She did. George has kept her occupied while Darren keeps handing her butterbeers.’ She chuckled, making Remus smile a little. ‘I should tell you, George has decided to hold off telling them about their family for a while. They've both been calm and he thinks it's best not to disturb that too much.’

Remus didn't say anything, instead he took a small breath and took his jacket off, hanging it over the back of the nearest chair.

‘You haven't told her, have you?’

Remus smiled, almost chuckling as he sat down. ‘I think it would be very clear if I had.’ He took a small sip and thought for a moment. ‘It's not my place to say, but the longer you keep this a secret, the harder it will be for them to accept and cope with it.’

‘I know, but George is difficult to reason with at the best of times.’ Anna wrapped her thick cardigan around her body a little tighter and Remus recognised the look of worry. Angelina looked so like her mother, those same ocean blue eyes and blonde hair that curled around her face. ‘Do you have any questions? I suppose I owe you some answers.’

Remus smiled kindly. ‘I wouldn't know where to start… and I think I should wait for Angelina to find out before I start asking anything important.’ Anna just nodded in understanding. ‘But I will ask just one thing, I fear for Angelina’s future, she has become intrigued by dark magic and given what happened with Clara…’ Remus stopped himself momentarily. ‘Is there anything I can do to help her?’

When Anna didn't answer he looked up to see tears forming in the corner of her eyes. ‘I'm so happy that you are the one she has fallen for. The only advice I can give you is to simply continue to do what you think is best, keep her mind calm and everything will be clear. When George is frustrated, I always try to remind him of the man he truly is and it calms him enough to make the right choice. Angelina will be great one day and I hope that's all the world sees.’

‘Thought I heard voices.’ George said from the door. Remus and Anna quickly looked up. ‘When did you get here?’

‘Just arrived.’ Remus smiled and stood to shake George's hand.

‘Merry Christmas Remus.’ He said warmly. ‘She's in the lounge.’ Remus grabbed his mug and gave a small smile to Anna, before wandering to find Angelina and Darren trying to balance coasters on their foreheads, surprisingly to some success.

Christmas had been strangely perfect. Angelina ate and drank to her hearts desire and always made sure Remus was close by in case he got bored or felt excluded, but he never did. He was just happy to spend some real time with her without worrying about her safety or happiness too much.

She reminded him that she would be leaving the day after Boxing Day for Japan with Darren and seeing as she was incredibly excited for it, Remus decided not to bring her to the Potters for dinner. 

‘Well that is a shame.’ James said a little sadly as he continued to make small repairs on one of his training brooms.

‘Can't say I'm too surprised after meeting her at St. Mungo's though.’ Lily commented as she brought over a cup of tea for everyone. ‘She didn't seem too comfortable with so many people around.’

‘No.’ Remus chuckled. ‘It was exceptionally difficult for her, I think both with Clara's situation and meeting my father, it was all a little overwhelming.’ Remus remembered what his father had said about Angelina, that she and Darren were different. 

‘I can see why you're so taken with her though.’ Lily brought his attention back. ‘There is something about her, she just holds your attention.’

Remus sighed and sipped his tea. ‘What do you think of Darren?’ He asked.

‘What do you mean?’ 

‘Well, they aren't that different,’ Remus tried to elaborate without giving too much away. ‘Both very bright, both extremely skilled magically, confident in their abilities.’

‘I suppose.’ Remus watched Lily think for a moment. ‘I'm not sure… but why do I get the impression you're asking something else?’

Remus took a breath, he couldn't tell them what Anna had said, not until Angelina knew, it wasn't his place. ‘I think my father was right, there's something more to the Lockwoods than meets the eye. I think they have a lot to learn and some big decisions coming their way, I just hope Angelina makes the right choice.’

‘Well,’ James had looked up momentarily from his broom. ‘We’ll be here if you need us.’ He assured his friend, but Remus wasn't put at ease as much as he would have liked.

 

Japan was amazing and Darren was such a good player, he got a huge cheer when he appeared on his broom, it seemed he was in fact their star man, the poster boy for his team. I was so incredibly proud of him and everything he had achieved. I watched the game I was there to see, cheering as loudly as I could and trying to pick up on the team songs from the surrounding fans. 

We had gone for a walk through Tokyo once the game was over and Darren was ready, he took me through all the tourist spots and even taught me a little Japanese in the process. I found it a difficult language to pick up, but managed to at least retain the simple phrases I would need to get around. 

I wrote to Remus once we were back at Darren's expansive home in the middle of a village beneath a peaceful mountain. It was gorgeous, the mountain sat alone at the very end of the valley and a lot of witches and wizards chose to live their as it provided a little security from muggles.

Darren had made dinner and we talked about everything we could think of including Remus and Clara. Darren had also mentioned that a small flock of mooncalves lived nearby and if I wanted we could make a quick trip to go and see them, I was never going to resist that offer.

‘Now, I know exactly what you're thinking,’ Darren started as we began wandering just outside the village and towards a foggy patch of land. ‘Mooncalves only come out during a full moon right? Or at least only in the days surrounding a full moon. But these ones seem to come out whenever they please.’ Darren carried a small bucket of food for them and sure enough within seconds he was surrounded by the large eyed, furry creatures known as mooncalves. 

I let out a small laugh, it was amazing to watch the normally shy creatures respond so well to our presence. They danced around me as well and I quickly dove my hand into the bucket to feed them.

‘No one else seems to have had the kind of luck I have.’ Darren called from where he was standing. ‘No idea why they behave like this, they just do.’ He laughed. We spent another half an hour feeding the mooncalves until we ran out of food and began wandering back towards Darren's house. A couple of them began following, but never came as far as the outskirts of the village.

The next couple of days I spent wandering around Tokyo and picking up a few things on their magical and muggle ways. I found a couple of things that might have aided me in my new quest to ease the flaring every full moon for Remus. I had no idea why he wanted me to research it, but I would never have said no if it meant helping him feel normal.

The day I left, Darren and a few others in the village were on edge. Something had clearly happened.

Darren sighed as we got to the apparation site. ‘Look, do you remember before you started school, when Voldemort was in power and mum and dad were constantly away or bringing you with them to work?’

‘It's not exactly easy to forget.’ I said, I remembered full well those days when everyone was terrified of what was happening, I wasn't stupid, I could tell I was only being protected when they took me to work.

‘Well… a man named Yoshi Nakamura is beginning to grow his power as well.’ Darren swallowed and gave a quick look around to check no one was listening. ‘Everyone's scared Angie, Tokyo isn't the safest place to be right now. Nakamura is gathering followers, I'm not sure what's being done, but the ministry is less inclined to follow its own rules when it comes to people like him.’

I frowned a little.

‘It means, they'll be more willing to do what is necessary to protect the people here, muggle and magical.’ Darren gave a half smile. ‘Don't worry Angie, Lockwoods are made of tough stuff.’ He tried to settle my worry at him being in such a dangerous place. ‘Besides, first sign of trouble and they'll have dad and you to answer to.’

Darren gave a quick wink and I just shook my head at him. ‘Stay safe Darren. Thanks for showing me around.’

‘Don't mention it, write when you get a chance.’ 

I promised him I would and grabbed onto the portkey that would take me home. I had missed Darren so much, but I was so glad he was doing well for himself. My family was happy, I was happy and nothing was out of place. It was bliss.


End file.
